Saturday, December 31, 2011

Bunny Issues Too

As if it isn't bad enough that there is a massive bear plot to take over one or more states, now the bunnies are up to something, and I'm not sure I want to know what it is. The first seed catalog arrived just yesterday, and as expected, they bounced around reading it, and then they hopped outside to show it off to their new squirrel friend. I'm not allowed to even look at the door anymore, but I watched them from the window. One squirrel soon increased to many squirrels gathered around the catalog each armed with a little pencil and pad of paper. I can only pray I saw it incorrectly, but it looked like they were drawing up plans for the world's largest corn maze, which will take up the whole of this state from the Virginia border, down to the Georgia line. And with the squirrels involved, I fear this corn maze might actually happen! What in the world are our neighbors going to think if they wake up to find they're living in a corn maze one day?

Friday, December 30, 2011

Bear Plot

If you live in Alaska, I suggest you start hunting sheep, and possibly fish now, to pay your taxes come April. The polar bears have befriended the grizzly bears. There was a special about it on PBS. Really, should they be allowed to broadcast something alarming like that on the channel where children watch those funny puppet things? Anyway, the bears have teamed up, and with the polar bears' new wealth, I'm sure they're plotting to take over Alaska and make it succeed from the Union. So if you should want to keep living there, I suggest that you start looking for an appropriate payment for your new bear overlords now. True, Alaska is kind of cold, so they'll probably eventually swap it for a warmer state, but until then, be prepared to pay bushels of wool and tons of fish for the privilege of living on the bears' new property.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Continuing Kindle Ownership

The bunnies' preoccupation with that Kindle continues. Normally, I would be thrilled, since it might distract them from attempts to make me work, but right now I'm very nervous about the thing and what the rabbits might be reading on it. I'm sure that there is nothing in their reading list on the benefits of laziness, and I wouldn't be surprised if they don't have a copy of that book on forcing cats to bathe as well. I tried to look at it this morning, to see what horrible materials they have but as soon as I laid a paw on it, I was pounced on by several bunnies, and accused of trying to scratch the nice screen with my claws. Really, the nerve of those rabbits! And now they are keeping a close eye on it, and another batch are keeping a close eye on me, to make sure I don't bother their precious little machine!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

This Christmas

This Christmas was a terrible success for Betsy, I am very sorry to say, which means that it was the stuff of nightmares for regular people. Really, I don't know why those poor people don't give up on celebrating the holiday, and I certainly don't understand why Santa keeps foolishly attempting to deliver gifts. If you lost food this holiday season, well, it's your own fault for not eating quickly enough before Betsy could get to your house, now isn't it? And if you lost socks that you had foolishly hung with care, the polar bears are using them for paw warmers. Good luck getting them away from those bears. As for anyone missing sweaters, I just hope you didn't need them, for Betsy has sold the entire lot to various flocks of sheep, who suffered a horrible wool loss after the polar bears got through with them. Really, I don't know why you people keep trying. All you're doing is feeding that bear, and possibly encouraging the polar bears.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Kindle's Here

The Kindle has arrived, and needless to say, the bunnies are thrilled with it. They're all gathered around it now, poking at it to figure out how to load what I'm sure is a terrifying amount of rabbit reading material onto it. Does anyone know the best way to block them from obtaining gardening guides? Heaven knows what they might accomplish should they make those things portable!

Saturday, December 24, 2011


Does anyone know of there are any rules for reciprocating Christmas gifts? More specifically, are there rules for what a good, decent feline should do if you work hard each year, and send gifts to relations, who constantly forget to gift you with something in return? I don't blame the dogs, of course. They're shut-ins, who aren't allowed out of their yard to go shopping, but really, what in the world is their human thinking? Is there something that I should be doing about this situation? For several years this has gone on, with my gifting these canines with no return gift. Should I assume their human is horribly prejudiced against felines?

Friday, December 23, 2011

Rabbit Reading

Horrible news. The bunnies are getting a Kindle for Christmas. I can only assume that their leader, the Easter Bunny, had a chat with Santa and somehow convinced him that the bunnies had been extra good, and were deserving of this. Well, Santa should be ashamed of letting a cotton-tailed creature fool him in this way! A Kindle. Horrors, horrors, horrors! Do you know how easy having one of those things in their paws will make carrying around books about work? And books on gardening? How can Santa do this? Do you think it's too late to try to get their present revoked?

Thursday, December 22, 2011


Just a few more days until Santa starts out on his attempt to once more deliver gifts. I do hope he's had the opportunity to double his insurance since last year, for goodness knows, Betsy has doubled the number of traps she has on hand to capture him, and get all of his goodies. I think I might have to find a hiding place come Christmas Eve, to avoid the chaos that is sure to result. I wonder if hiding in the lower branches of the Christmas tree might work? Goodness knows that Santa won't reach it, and as long as no one gifts us with food, Betsy will leave it alone. I wonder how I should go about constructing an ornament disguise?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

This Afternoon

This afternoon it was the mice the human let go out, to visit a restaurant and order a cheeseburger, hold the burger, bun and everything but the cheese. Perhaps I can convince the human to let the mice go out again, instead of allowing who knows which ones of my siblings to trot out next? Perhaps going out will put those mice in the mood to make a longer trip to visit their large rodent cousin, with me along for the ride, and for the cheese when I get there.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


The human let my owl sibling flap out of the house this afternoon to accompany her to yet another doctor's appointment. Really, I don't know why she keeps letting my siblings trot out, and then has problems when I try to go out to prevent the squirrel from converting our yard into a pumpkin patch or a corn field. Anyway, the owl came home all fired up from being allowed out, and now refuses to head for bed for the night. Just perfect. How am I supposed to get sleep with an owl hooting, and flittering around the house all night?

Monday, December 19, 2011

Wart Report

The human limped off to the doctor today, to get that wart looked at, in the company of a bear and the anteater, and the next thing I know she's limping home, in worse condition than she left in. Apparently the doctor decided to try to scrape a bit of wart skin off with a scalpel or something, and needless to say, it didn't go well. The human is practically sobbing from pain at the moment, and her foot usage is very limited. Really, why in the world didn't that bear do something to prevent this? Now how will get proper service?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Zoo

As if things weren't going badly enough, with Betsy taking to train robbery, one of the bears reported passing the zoo while they were out with the humans, and seeing that construction work is being done there, probably to make it nicer for the residents, although really they ought to be working on improving security, with how often various creatures pop over here for parties. At first, I wasn't sure why I needed to know about this, but then it hit me. If work is being done at the zoo, there will be noise, and I'm sure that the penguins will object to that, never mind the red pandas, zebras and who knows what other animals. So, they'll likely be looking for somewhere else to stay until the humans are finished with their zoo improvement project. And why do I have a feeling that my siblings are going to offer this place as temporary accommodations? Well, they better not invite the lions, is all that I can say! My box isn't big enough for one of those!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Train Robbery

I'm sorry I didn't post last night, but I was trying to lay low. The human let Betsy Bear out to visit the mall, and I was sure that the law would be arriving any second to arrest that awful bear for the robbery of the train they had running, circling the mall walkways. There were a number of children on it that Betsy held up for all of their candy. Those poor, poor children. They'll will probably need counseling for their robbery trauma, and I'm sure they got to see Betsy attack Santa's representative too, for all of his candy canes. I don't know why the mall doesn't do something, having a screener at the door to make sure that bear doesn't get in!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


The bunnies hopped around a bit ago to show me something. Apparently dollars y several places are offering a hundred dollars for photos of my kind. One cat has even earned cash already with a photo of himself in a hat like the rabbits had the human purchase for me. A hundred dollars. Do you suppose this is a sign that I should give in and wear the hat, at least for photo sessions? I could get a whole lot of cheese for that much money.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Today's Squirrel Report

The bunnies have convinced the human to scatter corn seed in the front yard now, and of course their little squirrel buddy darted right over to check the seed out. I spotted him from the window, digging, and I am sure planting the seed. Wasn't the pumpkin seed and plotting to turn the yard into a giant pumpkin patch bad enough? Now they want to add a corn maze to the mix! And I am not fooled by their reassurances that a corn maze would bring in lots of money for us. I'm sure all it will do is result in the entrapment of our neighbors, if they foolishly try dropping by.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Bunny Party

The human went out to that store that was having a sale on books again, and you won't believe the horror she found. A book, showing how to have a party devoted to the rabbits' beloved bunny author! Really, why in the world did some place create such a work, much less put it out where my human could purchase it? Needless to say, the bunnies were thrilled when she gave it to them, though, and they have been reading ever since, and are undoubtedly planning to host the sort of celebration the book recommends. They'll probably pop invitations to all of their rabbit friends into the mail tomorrow. Really, doesn't the mailman have enough troubles this time of year, lagging around Christmas cards, without adding bunny mail to his burdens?

Sunday, December 11, 2011


How worried do you suppose I should be that the human has been looking at a picture of this creature who is apparently begging for a good home? Just look at the size of the horns on that thing, and I'm sure it's an elephant, so it is likely a vegetarian. That's just what we don't need around here, more vegetarians, especially one with horns that could serve as PLOWS! I sense the garden growing by leaps and bounds if that thing gets in here.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Cheerleader Rabbit

Another bunny came hopping into the house today, along with a dog, bringing my sibling count up to 712. And this rabbit seriously worries me. She's in a cheerleader outfit, you see, and I'm sure that doesn't bode well at all. A cheerleader. She'll probably lurk in the garden come spring, calling out cheers to encourage the vegetables! Isn't talking with plants supposed to help their growth? If that works, I hate to think what cheering for them will do.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Non Speaking

Upon hearing of my possible video appearance, the bunnies did some checking for me, and they told me this afternoon, when I tried to demand they stop looking for a carrot print Kindle case so I could get online to learn the best techniques for memorization, that they're sure this part will be a non-speaking role. Do you suppose I should be offended by that? As a cat, I'm sure I could add a ton to the video on the topic of cat fur, but at the same time, if the role is non-speaking, it might indicate that noise is to be kept at a minimum, which might mean that I will not have to wear the collar with the bell. And if I don't have to wear that collar while filming, then the bunnies might forget to poke it back on me afterwards! Perhaps silence is a virtue?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Possible Video

The human hobbled to her doctor today, and it turns out he's making an educational video, including a segment on cat fur. Well, he can't do a segment on cat fur without a cat, now can he? Naturally, the human suggested me for the role, and I'm sure I would be just perfect. I wonder what collar would look best on film? Perhaps I should send the bunnies out to do a bit of shopping for me.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Sleeping Assignment

This isn't the best photo, I suppose, but here is where the bunnies intend to force me to sleep, when I am drug to the country.

My assigned sleeping space will be just behind where the anteater is sitting.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Book Horrors

The human heard back from the human she's asking about artwork for those frightening books of hers. I don't know if I should hope that this works out or not. True, the books might distract my siblings from their plans to force me to wear headgear, but what if getting the books finally together provides encouragement for them? Betsy Bear plays a rather prominent role in those children's books, and goodness knows that bear doesn't need any encouragement.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Bunny Book

The human went to a store today, and what did she come home with but a book, all about the bunnies' beloved bunny author's works. Such an annoying looking book, with bunnies all over the cover. The rabbits were very pleased with it, though, and now they're all clustered around, looking at it, and it's big enough that several bunnies can check it out at once. And even worse, it has crafts in it, bunny related crafts! You know they're going to want to make all of those, and I'm sure they're going to try drafting me to assist!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Hatted Again

I was innocently napping, when I was pounced on, and hatted again this afternoon. After much studying of me, my siblings have concluded that the hat looks best draped jauntily over one ear. So, I can look forward to spending my holiday with a sibling pouncing on me every time I turn around, and poking the hat on. Maybe I ought to offer to help them with their evil plans for getting their books published. They're looking for an illustrator now, you know. Perhaps if I could get them occupied with that, it would distract them from poking headgear on me!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

A Hat

Sorry I haven't posted for a few days. First I was trying to cope with the dizzy human, who was keeping the computer off, and then I was in hiding. You won't believe what happened to me last night. The human had gone out, in the company of a rabbit, I am sure, and when she returned, she had a HAT! A hat in MY size! It's a Santa hat, bright red with a pom pom on the end. And of course the bunnies insisted I try it on, so pictures could be taken. I have never been so embarrassed in my life, and with my numerous siblings' antics, that is saying something. Anyway, I finally escaped, and had to spend the evening staying out of sight, for fear of being hatted again.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Short Post

I'm afraid my post tonight will have to be short. The medicine the human is on has the unfortunate side effect of making her dizzy, which means she's keeping the computer off much of the time. That wouldn't be so back, but she's also keeping the power for it turned off, making it more than a little complicated for me to get it back on for my use. Really, what in the world was the human who gave he that medication thinking?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Snow

I will have that horrible weatherman arrested for this, just see if I don't! Oh, how could he be so evil and why isn't someone doing something about it? The polar bears conned that soda company into donating umpteen dollars to them. Surely some of that money could be spent, to punish such horrible cruelty. The weatherman arranged for the first flakes of snow to arrive today, and I think you can safely guess how the polar bears took it. My poor tail will be squished, beneath their big feet, I am sure of it, with how they are running about, in a blind panic, trying to make sure they have enough blankets, hats, and sweaters to cope with the snowfall. My poor, poor tail, and it is all that weatherman's fault! He is sitting in his little studio up the street laughing! I can hear him!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Today's Report

We're in charge of the blog again this evening, while our brother paws through the phone book, trying to find the number to call, to get the authorities to come and drag all of Nick the Cat's relations away to jail for inflicting horrible luck upon our brother's head. Pinky is sure that they are to blame for all of his troubles. Not only is the weather man calling for snow still, and upsetting our poor polar bear sisters, but the human is now ill too. Really, we don't know exactly why that's alarming our brother so much. It isn't like the human was scheduled to do anything important this week that we'll have to take over running for her, but still, he sees the illness as just more bad luck to trouble him. Anyway, he'll be back as soon as he finds the phone number and arranges for those awful cats to be arrested.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Finally Back

I'm finally back, after the bunnies finally decided to deem the flea medication soaked in enough to render me safe. Really, I think I was fine the entire time, and they wanted an excuse to stay in charge of my blog longer. This will be a short post tonight. The weatherman has proven how truly evil he is once more, and is calling for snow. I think you can imagine how the polar bears are taking that. So, I have to try to find a place that is safe, as the run around panicking, and dragging every blanket in the place out to try to insure their warmth. Does anyone have any suggestions for the safest locations?

Thursday, November 24, 2011


The sales start in a few hours, and would you believe that some stores are having lovely specials on clothing for our brother this year. Do you think we should drag him along with us, to try things on, or should we just ask one of the polar bears, who is his size, to accompany us?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


Is everyone looking forward to the Friday Shop-a-thon? Our human is already making plans to limp to it, and of course, we will have to hop with her, to help with carrying bags, and that sort of thing. That isn't the most important thing, though. Starting on Friday, needy gingerbread people are going to be available for adoption. We hope all of you will take the time to help one of these poor creatures in finding a good home. We're hoping to take in two of them ourselves. Our only worry is how we will go about preventing Betsy from drooling or trying to snack on our new siblings. At least our brother, who is still banned from blogging, by the way, isn't fond of gingerbread, and will probably be okay with them.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Bebe and Josie Again

It's us, taking over the blog once more. Our brother was diagnosed with a flea today, likely picked up when he amused himself trotting outside, to try to run off our squirrel friend. He has been treated with flea medication, and is banned from laptop use until he is deemed safe once more, due to the human's allergies, and the potential for her turning into a hive covered mess should the flea medication bother her like the last pest repellant did. Should you see Pinky on here, please report him at once, so we can disinfect the laptop and protect our poor, poor human. Really, the hives were totally painful looking and disgusting the last time. We don't want a repeat.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Polar Bears and Soda

Three days where I've been able to blog. Perhaps the rabbits are starting to forget about my insults towards their squirrel friend. Oh, the horrors I have to report, though. The polar bear lobby has somehow convinced a soda company to devote funds to arranging their polar bear happiness. Every bottle in the house now has an announcement on it about helping those bears. Really, all of that attention. All it will do is make them get big heads, as if their heads weren't large enough already. And the poor sheep. I'm sure that some of this assistance the polar bears are trying to con the humans into giving them will involve robbing massive amounts of sheep of their wool, thus inflicting the horror of the naked sheep upon all sensible creatures. Really, what were those soda people thinking?

Saturday, November 19, 2011


The bunnies are distracted, helping the polar bears with some sort of soda project, so it looks like I'll get to post two days in a row. Really, I thought I would faint when I learned what yesterday was! I don't know how in the world those sneaks did it, but somehow black cats managed to get yesterday declared some sort of official day in honor of black felines. Really, what in the world were the humans who granted them this day thinking? True, there are a number of decent cats of this fur color, who probably do deserve a day for themselves, but with Nick the Cat and his cousins trotting around, just think of the dangers! I'm sure that frightening amounts of bad luck and terror resulted yesterday, as those cats celebrated the day. It's a wonder the town is still standing!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Today's Evils

The bunnies finally got distracted, so I could slip back on here. Honestly, I don't know what those rabbits are thinking, trying to ban me from blogging, just because I was willing to speak up about the evil their new bushy tailed friend is plotting, with his attempts to turn the front yard into a pumpkin patch. Really. what will become of the neighbors if this squirrel succeeds in what he is up to? The squirrel isn't at the top of today's evils, though. That honor goes to the new penguin movie that was just released. Really, what in the world were the film studios thinking this year, first releasing a film about the head bunny and now this work? I hate to think of the number of penguins who have already fled various zoos to camp out in the theaters and watch this film. I'm sure the smell of their fishy treats and seafood sodas will be murder to get out of the carpets. And even worse, the polar bears managed to get their paws on a large stack of magazines today, devoted to the construction of various articles of clothing out of WOOL! Really, was this Be Kind to Animals Who Live In Cold Climates Day or something?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Brother's Bad Behavior Continues

Really, we don't know what in the world we are going to do about our brother. His bad behavior, harassing our new squirrel friend is continuing, and is highly annoying. He's taken to lurking in the window in the mornings, to shout out threats at the poor squirrel when he comes down from his tree for breakfast. We don't know what in the world we are going to do about him, we really don't, and we have a massive seed planting project scheduled for next week, too, when all of the humans finish up with pumpkins for their holiday pies.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Sorry We Didn't Post Last Night

We're very sorry we didn't post last night, but we were having to have a chat with our squirrel friend. Our brother made another attempt to trot out the door when the humans returned from the grocery store, after saying many unkind things about the squirrel, and the hard work he is doing, converting the front yard into a possible pumpkin patch come spring. Really, we don't know what his problem with that is, and won't he be happy not to have his naps disturbed by the lawnmower if the pumpkins take over? It took forever for us to convince the poor squirrel that our brother is certainly not going to get out and munch him down for a snack. Really, we don't know what we're going to do with that cat. At the rate he is going, he will never be allowed online again!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Nicest Squirrel

There is the nicest squirrel hanging out in the front yard. We think he must live in our neighbor's oak. Anyway, we're very pleased to have this squirrel as a neighbor. The humans put the pumpkin we were using for Halloween out in the yard for any needy animals, and the new squirrel neighbor trotted right over. And do you know what he has been doing? He's been burying the seeds! He's doing gardening! A gardening squirrel. What a nice creature, and a perfect friend for us. Honestly, our brother has been lurking in the window, yelling about this, and the fact that our front yard might be turned into a pumpkin patch come spring, but really we think he's just being ridiculous. And anyway, what's wrong with doing away with the yard for a pumpkin patch? It will save on mowing, and perhaps if we create a nice enough patch, it will lure in that Great Pumpkin creature that funny child with the blanket is always talking about.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Still No Feline Improvements

Our brother is still amusing himself being a horrible, horrible cat. Really, we don't know what in the world he is up to, although we are sure the fact that the human gave him cheese to lure him in the last time he got out the door has some baring on the situation. He probably has his eyes on getting the entire bag. Really, though, he is annoying the humans terribly. He tried to trot out again when we returned from our second trip to the country today. Oh, it is going to be so NICE when we finally get him up there, and away from these bad influence cats! We're sure they aren't helping the situation at all.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Still Hasn't Learned

Well, our brother still hasn't learned. He tried to duck out the door again, when the humans were getting things ready to go to the country. Really, we don't know what in the world he is thinking. Possibly he is talking to the wrong sort of cats. There has been a white cat hanging about lately that we thought would make a suitable friend, but perhaps that cat is one of Nick's relations, with his fur dyed as a disguise, trying to lure our brother into temptation. Really, we will be so happy when we get him up to the country and away from such bad influences. We checked out the beds today, and started working out the sleeping assignments. Our brother is currently assigned to the top bunk, row 2, space 6, right in the middle of three bunnies, a frog, a reindeer and four bears. That ought to be nice and cozy for him.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Did It Again

Our brother did it again, popping out the door, right under the human's cane, when they were returning from a visit to a church sale. Really, we don't know what in the world he was thinking and he is just lucky that horrible relation of Nick the Cat wasn't waiting to cross his path, and give him awful luck. He would have DESERVED it too, for alarming the humans so and making them run around trying to get him back in the house! So, he is banned from the computer until further notice as a result of this bad behavior. I wonder if we should go ahead and rename this blog? The Bunny Report, perhaps?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Congratulations to the Canaries!

We would like to extend our congratulations to any canaries who might be reading, on their new island ownership. Way to go, canaries! Was that new island very hard to make? Our human took a look a bit ago, and thinks it looks adorable. It's a bit small, yet, true, but we know you're still working on it. Have you thought about how you're going to decorate yet? We would be happy to contribute seeds to the cause of beautifying your new property. Just let us know what you would like, and we will be happy to send the seeds via our leader. We have some lovely Spanish seed that we are sure would be just perfect, that the Department of Rabbitculture sent us.

Josie Rabbit and Bebe Bunny Here

Hi, it's Josie and Bebe bringing you the blog tonight. Our human went to the doctor this afternoon, and when she returned, our brother decided to dodge right under her cane and go trotting out the front door. Really, we don't know what in the world he was thinking, although we are sure that cheese, and the potential for cheese being used to get him back inside was and idea floating between his pointy ears. The humans are very upset with him, though, and he is currently being punished, and being denied computer access. Until his punishment is over, the blog will be in our capable paws.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My Fate

The bully's mother won. My human is currently sobbing, and the rabbits are hovering, including Josie Rabbit camped out on the bed for hugging purposes. Really, what is that bunny thinking? Tears are horrible on fur. It will serve her right if she has to make an emergency appointment at the beauty parlor to get her fur fixed, after cozying up to the human like that. Anyway, the bunnies are fussing over the human like crazy, and telling her about how they would just love to live in the country. They've even offered to get boxes to start packing for the move. Sniff, sniff, sniff! I will be lucky if I don't wake up tomorrow to find that they've stuffed my bed into a box, with ME in it! What in the world am I going to do? The cottage isn't even 900 square feet! I have 710 siblings! That's almost a sibling for every square foot!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Day of Decision

Sniff, Sniff, Sniff. Today is the day. Election day. I will learn first thing in the morning if I'm to become a country kitty or not. Sniff, sniff, sniff. What in the world am I going to do? The human is all upset, over this, and of course the bunnies are reassuring her that they will be more than willing to move, and help her move the rest of us as well. I know by the rest of us, they're referring to ME! This is so unfair, and of course since felines are not permitted to vote, I couldn't even raise a paw to save myself. The country. What in the world will I do if I have to move to the country? So many vegetables there, and a ton of happy bunny gardeners, I am sure! Not to mention WORK! Doomed, I am doomed if I have to go!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Week is Ruined

The week has barely begun, and I can already say it is going to be terrible. The human is going uptown tomorrow, to some place alarmingly close to those horrible genealogy archives. I know nothing good can result from her being in that area. I really have to get the woodpecker to go something soon, to prune some of the upper branches of that tree before it drops nuts and squishes us all. And, while the human is gone, the bunnies have plans for that photo. They're talking about surprising her with it when she comes home! Which means they will expect me to be up bright and early for posing purposes! What in the world will other cats think, if they find I was up at the crack of dawn, for something besides a food dish visit?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

More on the Photo

I think the bunnies are serious about this photo and making a card of it. They got a coupon for card print-outs today, and just now they hopped around with a measuring stick, to size me up for photo placement purposes. They've currently got me placed between a bear, and Josie Bunny in the seating chart, but they say that might change if anyone's ears are particularly perky or something. This is going to be a nightmare! And how will I explain to other cats why I am in a rabbit and bear photo?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Christmas Card

The bunnies got a horrible idea today, for a family Christmas card. I'm not sure how the idea ended up in their fluffy little heads, but when I find out who is to blame, they will be prosecuted, you may be sure of that. Anyway, they came hopping in, to give me my seating assignment for this card, along with orders to show up with my fur nicely brushed, and dressed in my best collar, all ready to pose! They're expecting me to have my photo taken with all of them! I have 710 siblings! Do you know how long it will take to get all of them together, much less to get them posed and a decent photo taken? I will be stuck dealing with them all day!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Horrors at the Church

The human went to a church sale today, and came trotting home with fabric that made the polar bears squeal and start bouncing around, plotting quilts. And, in even worse news, this sale had a ton of bedding on offer. The bunnies might hop over to check that out tomorrow. Really, I don't know why these churches keep doing this to me, encouraging my siblings. And the secretary who works at my VET is responsible for this sale and the resulting sibling encouragement too! Oh, horrors! What did I do to her, to make her want to do something like this? And it will be just my luck too, that she will meet the bunnies and like them, if they hop to the sale tomorrow. That can only lead to trouble for me, the next time I have to visit the vet. What in the world will I do?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Brother's Post

Hello. It's Bebe Bunny here. We see out brother has posted, as much as admitting his guilt in the disappearance of our human's character cards. Really, he should be totally ashamed of himself, doing something like that. But it isn't going to stop the creation of the new rabbit story, we hope he knows. If the character cards aren't found in the morning, the human is going to start writing anyway, and will correct things later once they are found. Maybe we will even encourage her to go and lounge at the local bakery, and write. She always seems to get so much done there. This book will be finished yet, and our brother can't stop it!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was trying to think of a way to prevent rabbit encouragement, and the time got away from me. It's awful, just awful, what the human is plotting. And she's already got the first section of the next bunny novel plotted, too, which can lead to nothing good, I am sure. I think I have came up with something, though, to prevent this writing. The human was all ready to start her writing, and then when she went to look for her little note cards with the info on the spellings of names and everything, to keep her established characters straight, she couldn't find them. Hehehehehehehe. No writing can take place until she has those cards. And she can't prove that I have a thing to do with their disappearance either! Happy day! No encouragement for the bunnies!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Wart Report

The human limped off to get the wart looked at this morning, in the company of two polar bears, and would you believe that it was still there when she returned? Really, I'm not sure how to feel about this. The removal would have been surgical, and would have resulted in weeks of recovery time, but the doctor warned of the possibility of something horrible sounding called tendonitis, that could also cripple the human and cut into my service the longer the thing stays. Right now they're looking at using some sort of patch things to try to remove it, although how that will turn out is anyone's guess. Either way, it looks like I'm doomed to a crippled human, and crippled humans bore easily. That doesn't bode well at all! When the human is bored, she tends to write, which can only lead to rabbit encouragement!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Doctor Visit Tomorrow

The human limps off to the doctor tomorrow, to get something done about that wart, something that I'm sure will cause no end of trouble for me. Really, what in the world was the human thinking? Tomorrow is one of the worst nights of the year! Betsy will be out in force, robbing those poor, innocent children of all of their treats, and I don't want to know what Nick the Cat and his rotten relations have planned. I spotted them earlier trotting up the street and chuckling. Nothing good can come of something that amuses those horrible felines. I would hide, and not come out until the start of November, but then November starts the month of novel horrors! Oh, woe is me!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Sale Report

The bears, bunnies and other members of my assorted group of siblings had a lovely time at the sales this morning. They ended up hitting two, instead of the one they had planned on, and came home with several outfits. And more siblings. It seems that a large batch of homeless animals were loitering at these sales, looking for a likely human to take them in, and of course they decided upon my human. Three bunnies, two pups, a bear, a koala and a unicorn were with her when she returned home. Eight total! I now have 710 siblings!

Friday, October 28, 2011


The bears found a place having a sale on bear items tomorrow, I am very sorry to say. They've been scurrying about gathering money for a little shopping expedition ever since they got the news. I really ought to go and check my hiding places, to make sure that none of their gathered money is mine. I really don't think they're paying proper attention to where they're getting their funding. Really, what sort of place would offer bear merchandise for sale? It's bound to attract my siblings. The polar bears are even debating venturing out on the grounds that some sweaters might be available for purchase!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Today's Sibling Update

I now have 702 siblings. Once more the human dropped by the local mission, and was tackled by a homeless animal who begged to move in. My one comfort is that this latest animal is a monkey. At least monkeys are fruitaterians, unlike the vegetarian bunnies, so I am safe from attempts to convert me. True, the monkey does swing down and offer me a bite of his banana now and then, but at least he isn't pushy about his chosen foods, unlike the rabbits. I think I could start to tolerate monkeys as relations.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


I could swear that I posted about this, but I did some looking and I guess not. Back during all of those storms that Nick the Cat and his relations amused themselves afflicting us with, those horrible cats managed to knock over our neighbor's garage with a tree. Now they entertain themselves from time to time, trotting up the street to the property to admire their handiwork and laugh themselves silly at the damage they have done. I suspect they have gotten their paws on catnip, too, catnip that I'm sure that they've snatched from my patch, because they sound suspiciously giddy to me. Really, knocking over garages and robbing their fellow felines. Why in the world hasn't the law done something, and drug all of those rotten cats off to jail?

Monday, October 24, 2011


Oh, this is wonderful! The bus company is having a special on trips to Florida! TWO DOLLARS each way! Honestly, the mouse makes at least that from one run in his penny machines alone. He could easily afford tickets for his little cousins to come and visit him, and for me to ride along with them! Two dollars. I might even have that poked back somewhere! I can almost taste the cheese now!

Worse! Worse!

I just passed a bunny, looking over the book they're working with the bears to make into an ebook, and it's worse than I thought! The story is a Halloween one! That means that pumpkins are required! That means that they will expect me to help pull that awful wagon down to the store to collect the giant orange vegetables! Helping set up photos is bad enough, but being forced into packmule duty too, it is too much!

Sunday, October 23, 2011


I knew that letting the human look at all of those little ebooks was a bad idea. First, it cuts into my computer time, to have her lurking on here and reading, and now the ebook notion has attracted the attention of my siblings. The bunnies reading is bad enough, since their book selections always seem to lead to some sort of trouble for me, but what they have come up with now is truly horrifying. They have taken a notion into their fluffy little heads to make a ebook out of one of the human's stories, and to start selling it right away. They've already issued my orders, to report bright and early in the morning to help them start sitting up photos for the book! They're going to force me to WORK! And what if they sell copies of this book? I'm sure no good will come out of any money they make from it!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Horror Season Approaching

Once more the horror season, when children trot around gathering candy, is fast approaching. Really, I don't know why in the world those children keep trying. With Betsy Bear on the loose, it isn't as if they will be able to enjoy their treats. This year, she's got a fishing pole, with a candy bar attached to the end, that she's plotting to use to lure in more children, and thus more candy. Those poor, poor children. I hope their guidance counselors are braced for the upswing in trauma due to that bear's actions.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Today's Country Visit

On the up side, the humans' visit to the country this morning didn't result in work for me. Since the human still isn't 100 percent, and since they had some worries about the fact that they need to mow the yard at the cottage before work could be done, something that the human was concerned could lead to a illness return, they didn't go up there at all this week. Unfortunately, that didn't prevent the human from visiting a different place in the country this morning, looking for information on that horrible tree of hers. And, of course she found it, and came trotting home pleased as anything, and planning another trip to look for more info soon. And, in other horrible news, she dropped by a homeless shelter as well, while she was waiting to see if a different, horrible tree encourager would return, and was tackled by a bear, with a tale of woe. I now have 701 siblings!


The humans went to do some sort of early voting thing today. I thought it was okay, but my suspicions were aroused when they returned with a vegetable odor around them. It turns out that this polling place is at the FARMERS' MARKET! Needless to say, I was very alarmed, and then the rabbits hopped in and made it all worse, with the happy news that of course they had known all about this, since all bunnies are registered voters! They even showed me their little cards, giving them permission to vote! Have you ever heard of something so foolish in your life? Really, they're bunnies, easily distractable creatures. If someone dangled a carrot in front of their noses, or a packet of seed, all rational thought would fly out of their heads. And they are being allowed to vote while felines are disenfranchised? Really, who thought this up? Cats would be sensible, responsible voters, unlike certain cotton-tailed troublemakers!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Rotten Weatherman

I ought to tell the polar bears that the weatherman has offered to host them at his house this year for the winter. I really ought to, after the trouble that horrible meteorologist has caused me. It's turned nippy here, which sent the polar bears panicking to check the weather forecast, and what did they see but something calling for SNOW! I tried to convince them that this snow is scheduled for elsewhere, or was possibly an hallucination on the part of the weatherman, but they didn't listen, and now I have a batch of bears running everywhere, demanding mittens, sweaters, hats and blankets be produced at once. Stampeding bears tend to not look where they're running either. My poor, poor tail is in dreadful danger from their big feet! I swear, the weatherman will pay for this! Perhaps I will find a way to divert Nick the Cat and his relations up to the weatherman's little weather station. It would serve him right to be tormented by those cats!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Rabbit Shopping

I couldn't believe what I found when I checked out the bag the bunnies lagged home. Five books and a magazine, all for the human, and once more, not a sign of my desired feline comic! They claimed that they looked everywhere, without finding it, and I ought to be glad that it seems to have sold well, and that my fellow feline is a success, but I know better. They probably got distracted my an issue of Gardening Monthly, and didn't look at all. So now what am I going to do? If I send them to check out the store at the mall, they'll probably end up hopping to a movie with their fellow rabbits, and will forget yet again!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Rabbits Trying Again

Despite their total failure to obtain the correct comic, I am giving those bunnies a second chance. The human has to visit the doctor tomorrow, and will be passing by another place that carries my desired book. I have already given the bunnies their orders, to return to with the red comic starring my fellow kitty. I'm not so sure I should trust them, though. They're easily distractable, and there are at least two more of those horrible green comics out there. I wonder if I ought to print out a picture of my desired comic, so they can't claim they weren't sure which book I wanted? Really, though, it's red and a cat is on the cover. I don't see how they could make a mistake.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Awful Day

Really, why can't my days ever go right? The humans went out today, and the bunnies hopped along with them, of course. While the house was rabbit free, who came strolling along but Nick's cousin, who proceeded to camp out on our steps between doing unspeakable things to the shrubs, and trying to stake a claim to our property! Despite my yelling and threats to call the law on that awful cat for trespassing, he refused to depart until the humans finally returned, when he strolled to our poor, unfortunate neighbors' dwelling. I do hope they have major insurance for I'm sure he amused himself crossing their path when he spotted them enjoying their porch. I thought my luck might be changing with the humans repelling the bad luck cat, but then the rabbits hopped in with a purchase. I have been telling them for weeks that I need a copy of the comic starring that feline, so today they finally dropped in on a store that carries such items. Do you know what they got, though? They got a GREEN comic, one that is the color of vegetables, not the RED book I wanted!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Work Looms

I'm afraid work is looming hard on the horizon. My poor paws. I've taken such care with them, keeping them nice and soft, and now they're to be ruined by forced labor! The bunnies hopped around a bit ago, to measure my tail for a brush, and to order me to report in the morning to be sized for a hammer! They're serious about making me work! They've even been talking about how nice it would be to spend Christmas at the country cottage, so you know they'll push these repairs like crazy. I'm doomed! Doomed to work! The only thing that might save me now is if the human feels bad enough not to make the trip.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Next Week

I'm doomed! Doomed, Doomed, Doomed! The humans are talking about visiting the country next week for work purposes, despite the fact that our human is still under the weather. And, since she's under the weather, of course the bunnies are falling all over themselves to offer to help, and to fill in at any work she doesn't feel up to doing. They're even telling her that she can lounge on those sheets that match her jammies if she wants, while they do everything. And, of course, they don't expect to do everything alone! They have already hopped by to give me my assignment, checking the roof for loose shingles, prying damaged flooring, and painting, possibly with a brush tied to me tail! I'm going to be forced to work!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Horrifying Clothes

I just spotted what the human was wearing a bit ago and needless to say, I am horrified. She has on a pair of pajamas that match those sheets the presbunterian church supplied my delinquent bunny siblings a few weeks ago. Horrors, horrors, horrors! I knew about the jammies, of course, but I didn't know how good the match was until the bunnies held the sheets up to the pajamas and started making a fuss about how they matched, and how the human will look so nice sitting on them! And the human was impressed too, patting the cotton-tailed troublemakers on their ears and saying what good bunnies they are. That means she's definitely going to want to use those sheets, which means a visit to the country is definitely in my future! Horrors!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Break from the Vampire

Now for a break from the vampire, and an update on the new feline comic. I so wish I knew how to contact that kitty. I'll bet he would know how to repel a vampire bunny. Anyway, he didn't pop into the latest issue, which was kind of annoying, but the alien currently in charge of the team was debating a second in command at the end of the issue. I think we all know who the only logical choice for that position is. THE CAT!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Vampire Repellant

Does anyone have any ideas for a repellant to keep the bunnies' new vampire friend from deciding that I would make a lovely snack? At first, I was optimistic about using garlic against this rabbit, but then I recalled that garlic is a plant, and as the vampire is a rabbit, the smell of plants might attract him. So now, the only thing I can think of is to stop grooming completely, and hope that it changes my taste enough to discourage the bunny. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I hate to spend forever with a shabby coat, but I don't want to become supper for a vampire bunny either! What in the world were the rabbits thinking, asking him to supper?

Monday, October 10, 2011

Note Sent

The bunnies sent off an email today to their new, hopeful vampire bunny friend, inviting him to hop or fly, whatever vampire rabbits do, over one day for supper. Isn't there some rule against that, inviting a vampire to stroll into your house? And they mentioned ME in the email too, letting the fanged rabbit know that a cat lived here, but they're sure I'm not a rabbit-eater like some felines. So now the vampire knows about me. And, since he's a bunny, I'm sure he won't be interested in snacking on his fellow rabbits, so you know who that leaves!

Sunday, October 9, 2011


I just learned today about a horrible threat, lurking out there, and of course I realized that I needed to warn my readers right away. There is a VAMPIRE on the loose! And worse, this vampire is a BUNNY! My rabbit siblings were poking around online today, and found out about this fanged floppy eared troublemaker. A vampire bunny. It probably turns you into a vegetarian if he bites you! Anyway, my siblings were naturally thrilled to learn about this new bunny, and now they are trying to insist I get off the computer right away, so they can search for his email address, to drop him a letter and ask him to visit! They're wanting to have a vampire over! They say that they will serve him a lovely dinner! He's a VAMPIRE! What in the world are those rabbits thinking! Bunny or not, I know what vampires eat, and it's not good!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Awful Saturday

The human is feeling slightly better, but still, she went to the doctor again today for some strange reason. Not that that was necessarily a problem. My only objection to her last doctor's visit was that it resulted in the rabbits offering to fill in for her with that horrible church sale. This visit didn't turn out nearly as well, though. The human is on the mend, true, but the problem was that she felt the need to stop by the local Walmart to restock some of her medicine afterwards. And do you know what she found there? They had a batch of that horrible plant food she us using to soak her injured foot on SALE! What in the world was Walmart thinking, putting items like that on sale, especially with bunnies hopping about? The human came home with four boxes of the stuff! FOUR BOXES! When the rabbits get their paws on that, we are all doomed!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Horrible, Horrible Day

Well, besides being forced to work by the rabbits, they have decided to try to take over feeding me again. Really, isn't that illegal, allowing a batch of devoted vegetarians to feed and try to convert an innocent kitty? There was a bean on my plate today. Really, a BEAN! At least it was short, but it was green and sort of slimy looking. And, of course, the bunnies were all clustered around, expecting me to eat the horrible thing. If such activities aren't illegal, then they should be!

Thursday, October 6, 2011


I awoke this morning just as the rabbits pounced, I am very sorry to report. They snapped my leash onto my collar before I could jump out of bed and flee. Then, once they were sure that they had me, they gave me the happy news that I had been assigned to be a puller, along with our reindeer siblings, and one of our horse siblings too, dragging the wagon they rounded up around, to various places so that they could hang up fliers! They made me be their packmule all day! My poor, poor paws. I can barely type. And I know they have plans to make me do the same thing tomorrow, when they want to hop to visit the church sales in search of goodies!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Human Illness Continued

The human is still sick, I am afraid, and the bunnies are hopping everywhere, offering to bring tissues, drinks and who knows what else, and reassuring the human that they will handle everything else for the church sale. I don't like the way they keep looking in my direction as they say that either, or how they are scribbling on pieces of paper. They have probably got me down somewhere as a tacker, or possibly a taper! And, to make matters worse, they have the closet staked out, so I can't escape into its heights!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


The human has taken ill, due to smoke exposure while scanning a bunch of photos for that horrible tree. She thought she could avoid problems by going to a public scanner, but it obviously didn't work, and the illness caught up to her this morning. So now she's sniffling, sneezing, achy and miserable! And now the rabbits are unsupervised, and making offers to take over for her with the church sale stuff! You might remember what happened the last time she took ill and the rabbits offered to fill in for her, baking goodies for a baby shower. I must hide while there's still time!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Posting Signs

The human went to hang up signs advertising that sale today, and the rabbits offered to accompany her, and assist. I'm not sure how they planned to help with the hanging of signs, since as bunnies they're very short, but that wasn't what was so alarming. The alarming part is the number of libraries the human was hanging these signs in. Libraries filled with books on WORK! And you know what those bunnies came hopping home with. Really, I think I am going to spend the week in hiding. If I could roll the container with my food into the closet, I'm sure I could hide undetected on the top shelf until the safety of Monday morning.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

This Week

If anyone asks this week, I am not here. You don't know where I am, but I am definitely not here, and thus can't be blamed for the upcoming disasters. Oh, I can't believe all of this. Nick the Cat must have put in some overtime hours, to produce this much bad luck! First, the presbunterian church down the street is having a sale this weekend. The bunnies are all excited, and are looking for a wagon that they can drag behind them, if they have to hop to that one without the humans. Rabbits hopping to a sale unsupervised. I don't want to think what might happen there. They cause enough problems with the minimal supervision the humans offer. Then the human's church is having a sale at the same time. My computer time has already been cut into, as the human works on advertising it, and you know she's going to insist on attending too, and you know the bunnies will insist on accompanying her! Then, to make the entire matter worse, the human has a visiting, genealogist relative in town that she has plans to get together with. The tree will hit heights I can't imagine by week's end, I just know it! So, if anyone asks, I am not here, and can't be held accountable!

Saturday, October 1, 2011


I always thought this particular denomination was spelled Presbyterian, but now I believe it is in fact presbunterian. Bun as in BUNNY! I have never met a more rabbit friendly religion in my life. I suppose I should have suspected something when the church of that denomination sold the rabbits all of that bedding a bit ago, but now a Presbunterian church up in the country amused themselves selling the rabbits several sacks full of bedding, and pillows to rest their big ears on too! They came hopping home with the sheets, and forced me to sit on them, to see how they went with my fur, before popping them in the washer. I don't know what they were going to do if there was a color clash, although I have a feeling they would be plotting to change my color instead of the sheets! Really, that church should be ashamed of itself! And, as if the bedding wasn't enough, they amused themselves selling a sack of raspberry bushes to the bunnies too! A sack! Do you know how many bushes make up a sack? What in the world were they thinking?

Friday, September 30, 2011

Country Tomorrow

The rabbits are planning a little trip to the country tomorrow, for that annual fall festival, and, I am sure, to size up things for a potential move. I probably ought to make plans to spend the weekend in bed now, so that I'll have a alibi. Goodness knows what trouble the rabbits will get into, especially if anyone is foolishly selling seed like they did last year, and Betsy is lagging out piles of snitching sacks, even as I type, in anticipation of robbing anyone foolish enough to try to sell food at this event. And you know that awful bear is supporting the plan to move if the bully's mother gets elected. If she's living in country, it will make it so much easier for her to rob the happy picnickers, campers and boaters, after all. I do hope the country has insurance.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Lack of Feathers

There is a distinct lack of feathers in this place, at least feathers besides the outfit that my woodpecker tenant is currently wearing. I checked the pillows, only to find that they're stuffed with something the polar bears will surely mistake for wool, should they every spot it. Really, how in the world am I going to tar and feather Nick the Cat for inflicting such horrible luck on me if I can't find some feathers? And he richly deserves tarring and feathering too. I woke up this morning to a bunny measuring my bed, to figure out how best to pack it for the potential move to the country, and a batch of other rabbits, taking an inventory of my property, and wanting to know if I would absolutely need everything! Maybe I will catch the bus. It runs right by a bird store, and surely some of those creatures would be willing to donate their old feathers for such a good cause as punishing Nick the Cat for causing this trouble!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tarring and Feathering

I have the tar, not that it will show up on Nick's fur, but at least it will make the feathers stick, that is, if I ever get my paws on some feathers. I thought about asking my woodpecker tenant for some feathers he wasn't planning to wear again, but it turns out he donates all of his used feathers to some sort of bird charity, for birds who are down on their luck, and who are forced to actually nest in trees instead of cozy holes like he has. And when I asked the bunnies about hopping to the store for a sack of craft feathers, they were too busy, consoling the human over her remembrance of the trauma of being bullied and telling her how they would love to live in the country,and that they're sure the move will be a good thing if it comes to that. It looks like I'm going to have to rob a pillow, but that horrible cat will be feathered yet for causing me this horrible luck!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Possible Move

Nick the Cat is to blame for this! I know he is! That rotten feline! Even though he is already black, I will see him tarred for this, and feathered too! That horrible, horrible cat! He ought to be ashamed of himself! The mother of the human's high school bully is running for election, and the human is saying if she wins, that we will be moving to the country so she won't be forced to be reminded of her school torment for the next four years. She looks like she's about to cry, thinking about the bully, so I think she might be serious about the moving thing. The country! I might be forced to become a country kitty! And did you know that the bloc of feline voters has been disenfranchised, so I can't even do anything to try to save myself by trotting to the polls and voting for someone else?

Monday, September 26, 2011

Dogs, Just When You Were Doing Good

Dogs, just when you were doing well, and I thought you might be getting the hang of proper behavior, you go and do this. Really, you should be so ashamed. The human limped down to the food co-op, that den of rabbit encouragement, this morning, in search of something to use to help her poor foot. And do you know what they had there? Dog drinking fountains set up right in the front, and even worse, dog BEDS, undoubtedly so you canines could take a snooze between helping rabbit customers hop to their vehicles with their vegetable and seed purchases! The horrors! The sheer HORRORS! Oh, dogs, you should be so ashamed, at such obvious signs of rabbit collaboration, and vegetable assistance. You should be ashamed!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Definitely Better

Oh, and now my dino sisters are saying they have some dinosaur relations working at that park my woodpecker tenant's uncle is associated with! A nice long vacation is in my future for sure. The one thing that I am a bit concerned about, though, is that there's a water ride in the section of the park that this dinosaurs are employed in. Really, those kinds of rides are so annoying, and would you believe they don't even have fish in the water? What's the use of water without fish? But the dinosaurs seem rather proud of it. What if they expect me to take a ride on it when I get down there? When the human toured this park before she mentioned seeing feline tourists in that section, undoubtedly being forced on the ride by dinosaurs! I might get wet!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Better and Better

Now the dinosaurs are getting involved in my vacation plans. Really, this is going so well, I dont' know why I didn't try recruiting my siblings ages ago. Danica Dinosaur and Tracy Triceratops happened to be strolling by when some of the bears were looking at the brochure for the mouse's park, and they pounced on it, flipped through a few pages and then started showing off pictures of other dinosaurs, cousins of theirs, who have found work there. They even have an entire section of one of the parks devoted to them, and to dino activities. Now to get those two to writing their relations as well. I can smell a free trip and a cheese feast in my immediate future for sure!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Library Charges

While poking around and checking out those comics starring that bunny who lives with the mouse, my rabbit siblings happened upon some comics starring my woodpecker tenant's uncle. Naturally, they hopped out to his hole to alert him to this literature, and now he's wanting to fly in, to do a bit of reading. Do you suppose I can use the library usage to justify increasing his rent? Although, now that I think about it, his uncle does have connections, down in Florida, just down the road from the giant rodent's park. Maybe I can draft the woodpecker into my vacation plans too! Birds have a tendency to go sourh, after all, around this time of year, at least the ones who haven't planned in advance and rented a nice home from me. Even though he has a snug hole, perhaps the woodpecker would like to take a trip south for old time's sake, on a bus to save on his wings. I understand the park his uncle does business with caters to feline tourists. I can take an extra long vacation and see EVERYTHING!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Better, Dogs, But Not Quite

Dogs, you are doing better. I must give you an A for effort. The human dropped by the local mission this afternoon, and several of you barked rather vigorously at her. Now, the local mission is the place that keeps letting various homeless creatures trot off with the human, but this is where the problem was. The human had stopped there today, not to collect more siblings for me, but to pick up some mouse items, mouse music and mouse toys, designed to put my mice siblings in the mood to visit their big rodent cousin. That sort of thing is what I DON'T want discouraged. I suggest looking in the window, to check the items in the human's hands first, before barking from now on.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Continuing Wart Issues

The human continues to have issues with that wart, and now, horror of horrors, she says if things don't improve in a couple of weeks, she's going to a doctor about it. What if they want to surgically remove it? The last time she had to have some sort of surgery, with that messed up ankle, my service was severely limited, not to mention how my tail was endangered from the wheelchair. I will get Nick the Cat for this! He is responsible! I know it! He got his little dog friend to trot over her and infect her with that papillon virus, and now see the trouble it is causing me!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Falling Vegetables

I've been trying to lay low, in the hopes that should the human end up dog-sitting, that the rabbits won't spot me and drag me along. I think the bunnies might be on to me though. This morning, when the human was trying to get her breakfast from the freezer, and I had my nose poked out in search of cheese, I was nearly bopped on the ears with a container holding a batch of OKRA! I know the bunnies were to blame for this falling vegetable. They probably thought that it would be a perfect distraction, so they could pounce on me, and slip my leash on in preparation for dog-sitting duty! I was lucky to escape in time! Who knows what they might try next, though, since the okra didn't work. They'll probably come after me with a can of beans, or possibly spinach!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Possible Dog-Sitting Scheduled

Oh, this is the stuff of nightmares. The human, who my canine cousins live with, just had a relation who dared to schedule their demise. Such a rat, and if I could, I would have the deceased prosecuted! So now the human is planning to offer to dog-sit the two canines, so they won't be forced to stay home alone for the duration of the funeral! The rabbits have already eagerly offered their assistance with this dog-sitting, and now they're glaring at me, expecting me to raise my paw and offer to help too. And if I don't, you know they'll just sign me up regardless of my wishes. Dog-sitting. What in the world will I do, if other cats find out I have been DOG-SITTING?

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Wart and Nick the Cat

The human did some research on her little wart issue, and it turns out, I might have wrongly accused those frogs. Not that they are not the laziest creatures I've ever seen, well deserving of suspicion, but still, it looks like they didn't cause this bit of trouble. It seems that the wart results from some sort of pap something or other virus. It looks suspiciously like papillon to me, and a dog of that species is a known associate of Nick the Cat! That rotten cat probably recruited his dog associate into helping him, and afflicting my human, knowing all of the trouble it would cause me, to have her laid up with foot function sorely limited. I will get that cat, I swear I will!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I Love Comics!

Oh, I'm absolutely loving the comics that my siblings have taken to reading, starring the giant mouse and his duck friend. It's getting their minds turned towards vacationing, which can only be good for me. I can almost taste the cheese now. To get to that size, you know that mouse has to have a ton of cheese. And now the bunnies are looking interested. They came hopping in, wanting to check the card catalog online for a book about work, only for a comic, with a bunny in it, to catch their eye and distracted them. So now they're questioning the mice closely, wanting to find out if this bunny does autograph and picture sessions. I'm sure if he does, it means he's as large as the mouse. Frightening amounts of vegetables they grow down there, after all. But there is an up side. If the bunnies can meet this rabbit, they'll hop off to loiter around his garden, to stuff themselves with salad, and I won't have to deal with them! And if they stuff themselves enough, they'll be too full to harass me about work! Win-Win!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Proposed Ban

It would be so easy for the library to get the bunnies and their book borrowing under control. Really, I don't know what they're waiting for. One of their branches is right down the street, and I'm sure in the path of the bunnies planned gardening. I won't even say that the rabbits shouldn't be allowed to borrow books at all. I'm sure there are some books that are harmless for bunnies to read. Perhaps those books starring their relation Peter, although more of those books than I'm sure are safe are set in gardens. The author did write a book starring a kitten, though. The bunnies could be permitted to borrow that, or maybe one of her duck books. Really, the real problem is the bunnies getting books on work and gardening. All the librarians would have to do is check for long, floppy ears every time someone comes to check those books out. It wouldn't be hard at all. And hopping. The hopping is a dead giveaway too.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Library Policies

The local library has decided to bar certain humans called sex offenders from their doors. Frankly, those sorts are very annoying humans, and I am glad to hear that they have been banned. I don't know why in the world they were ever issued cards to begin with, although, seeing as the library is happy to hand out those cards to every rabbit that hops in the door, expressing an interesting in reading, I guess they aren't exactly selective. Now, if that place can ban patrons, now that they're starting to clean out some of the trouble-making humans, why can't they do something about the bunnies? They allowed them to hop off with another book on work, just this afternoon, that I'm sure bodes ill for me! That sort of thing needs to be banned as well!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Feline Comic

The mice were poking around, looking for more comics starring their cousin and his Duck buddy, when they found something interesting and hurried to share. It seems a CAT has got his own comic book! Take a look! It's not the best picture, I will admit, but he's on the right side between purple girl and blue boy, and down from Mister Horns.

Nice, isn't it? After so many years of that flying dog, getting a book, it's good to see felines finally getting their just place in the comic book world. Sure he has to share the book with a few aliens, but you know, as a cat, who is really in charge. And not only is he a cat, but he's an Earth cat, which in this sort of book means he'll likely end up team leader sooner or later. I recommend you go out and purchase this issue right away. I think I'll be dispatching the bunnies soon, to hop off to the store to get my copy!

Oh, and he has a TOY too!

You know many human comic characters have gone years and still don't have toys!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Making Mice Write

I have to force those mice to compose a letter to their cousin right away, so I can get vacation planning scheduled. Oh, the horror I am facing, and fleeing to visit the mice's cousin is the only way I will be safe. The humans are planning another work trip to the country next month and you know how fond the rabbits are of anything involving work. If I don't have a vacation planned, they'll capture me for sure! If I can schedule a trip, though, and I'm sure the bunnies would want to go as well, seeing as it's the season for that big food festival when vegetables are out full force, then I will be safe! Now where is a pen and paper, or do you suppose I ought to have the mice go with emailing their cousin?

Monday, September 12, 2011

Vacation Packing

I've decided to do a bit of planning, so I'll be ready when my mouse siblings and the bears too, finally hear from their relatives the good news that and invitation to visit has been extended. I thought I would start by working out what to pack. I know the toy mice are out, so I was thinking possibly my lizard or a large ball of string for that. Clothing is the issue that concerns me, though. I wonder how felines are expected to dress when calling on mice? Do you suppose I should pack my dress collar? And what about my sweaters?

Sunday, September 11, 2011


The human is playing around with that online map thing again, but I can't object at all at this time. She just pulled up a view of the park my mouse siblings' relation owns and is looking through it. And the mice are lounging on the bed, looking over her shoulder. Seeing pictures of their relative's cozy home are sure to make them want to take a trip down there to visit him, and of course, it would be horribly rude for them to go without their big cat brother, now wouldn't it? Perhaps I ought to change the human's screensaver to flash pictures of the park, to put the mice in the mood.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Bad Luck Squad

The bad luck squad has really done it, and I do hope that all decent ebony furred cats will finally rise up, and take steps to bring these horrible felines into line, before your color is disgraced forever. The bunnies dropped by that church sale again, the one that seems determined to supply them with every bit of linen they need to transform the country cottage into a rabbit paradise, only to learn that one of the ladies waiting on them was injured while feeding a batch of cats, including a black one. Of course, she said this black feline looked like the cat who owns her, obviously a cousin, so I'm sure he wasn't to blame for her terrible luck. Nick the Cat and his relations were obviously lurking, possibly hidden in a shrub, spreading bad luck and framing innocent felines. Really, now that they've done it once, who knows what other decent cats they might try their paw at framing next. Something must be done about that lot, before it is too late!

Friday, September 9, 2011

My Plan

My plan is going very well, if I do say so myself. I casually pushed that brochure for the mouse's park under the noses of some of my bear siblings today, and remarked on the bear on the center page, wanting to know if he was a relation. They took a look and started exclaiming on how he was their cousin, who they hadn't seen in ages, and then they begin to go on about how wonderful it was that he had done so well for himself, finding a place with that mouse. Then some of the bears that the human has allowed to visit the park before started going on about how nice the place was, and how happy their cousin has to be, being able to live there. Oh, it will be no trouble at all, to convince them they should write him, to see about a visit! Maybe he will even send money, along with that mouse, for bus fare! And, if all of the teddies went, oh, my! I'm sure we would have the bus to ourselves, without any humans to cause a problem, besides the human to drive. My whiskers are quivering just thinking about it. And really, it isn't like the bears would all need full seats, so think of all of the lovely space I would have, to stretch out and play online the entire trip down!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Mall Report

The human dropped by the local mall today. Normally this would be an alarming bit of news, since they have a teddy adoption center there, but I think the visit might work out to my benefit. She picked up a brochure on the park my mouse siblings' cousin runs, you see, and they've been pouring over it ever since she brought it home. I am sure they are wanting to go, and in ever better news for me, it seems that their large mouse cousin has taken to hanging out with another BEAR too, besides the yellow one that always strolls around with that large honey pot, just daring Betsy to rob him. There was a picture of this new bear in the brochure, and he looks very much like several of my siblings! I'm sure he's a relation as well, so perhaps I can draft the bears into my plan, to get down to the park, and the cheese buffet I'm sure is present! Oh, I can just smell the cheese now, in every flavor and kind!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Neighbors and the Bad Luck Crew

The humans came in from the store today commenting on how our neighbor's house, the one that Nick the Cat's relations seem to love lurking around to terrorize the humans, seems to be deserted. There was much speculation on if the neighbors had moved. Not that I could blame them if they did. Being trapped and tormented by those cats, it isn't like they got much use out of the property they were paying for so it makes perfect sense they would want to flee to a bad luck feline free zone. But then there is the matter of the house. With those horrible, rotten cats lurking around, I'm sure it won't sell. And what if they figure out a way to get in? They could declare the entire place their property, not just the porch, and invite every family member they have to move in with them! With that much bad luck, concentrated in one spot, oh, I shudder to think of the possible disasters that might ensue! I might have to to demand the bunnies recruit more of their friends and relations to live here, for the protection their big feet can offer!


I'm not sure if Nick the Cat's relations have found a way to deliver bad luck from the shelter of our neighbor's porch, or if this is a continuation of the bad luck that arrived on Sunday. I suppose it's a continuation of that, or at least I hope it is. The human called the local flower shop, a den of rabbit collaborators if ever there was one, to order a plant for that funeral. I was okay with that, since she didn't go down there, or take any bunnies down there, which would surely lead to plant purchases for themselves, and then I saw the card the human had written out, telling them what to put on the plant. She had my name signed to it! MY NAME! So now, I'm sure I'm on the hook for part of the cost of that plant! I had never even met the deceased! Why should I be forced to pay for a flower, just because my name was forged on a plant card?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Rain Again

It is raining again. The bunnies held a dance last night, after the car was pulled in by that awful truck, and this is the result. They thought that a bit of rain might help those shrubs damaged by Nick the Cat's kind, and I have to admit that I approve, not of the possible plant benefits, of course, but of the rain itself. With any luck it will wash away that horrible family's attempts to claim my property as their territory. And, in an added benefit, as long as the rain is falling, those rotten cats are trapped on our neighbor's porch, and thus can't drop off bad luck for me! Of course, that does mean our neighbors can't leave their home, but surely by now with how those cats hang around, they've learned to stock up on food, so they won't starve. And, anyway, my dodging more bad luck is much more important than their being able to eat, don't you think?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Horrors! The Sunday Horrors!

Oh, the horrors I have experienced today. I suggest you send all small children, kittens and sensitive souls away before reading this. I will wait.

Are they gone? Okay, if they aren't I am not to blame. I warned you. First, the humans got the news that a relation had managed to schedule their demise, thus necessitating them rushing off to a funeral down in Georgia. And naturally, my siblings decided to go as well. At least the rabbits managed to look properly mournful while loitering in the back seat, with their ears dropped and suitably funeral appropriate expressions on their faces. Betsy, on the other hand, had an expression of glee as she polished her pie spoon and fork. Georgia, as I'm sure you all know is well known for their peaches and pecans, and of course those tree products are good for one thing in that bear's opinion, pie, possibly with large helpings of ice cream on the side. I am afraid to think of how many people were left with only empty pie plates to show for their baking, while those humans were in the funeral home, and Betsy was unsupervised. Then, on their way home, the car stopped on the humans. They had to get some sort of giant truck to drag it the rest of the way home. My napping was totally wrecked, with the noise that thing made when it pulled the car home. And it might return too, to drag the vehicle off to the repair shop if the humans can't get it to start again, so I suppose I ought to count tomorrow's nap, or possibly Tuesday's as a total waste too!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Country and Insurance

I hope those poor people who have the misfortune to live in the country or like to go there to picnic had a chance to double their insurance, for they will surely need it after this afternoon. The humans went up there again, for another go at the yard, and naturally the bunnies and Betsy accompanied them. The bunnies came home with damp ears from swimming with the cows, and Betsy returned with cookie crumbs in her fur, smelling of stolen sandwiches and cake. I wonder how much sandwich insurance costs? I'm sure there are going to be a ton of claims on those policies after the holiday. And, to make matters worse, the lawnmower broke down again, which means a third trip will be necessary. I wonder, if I call everyone I can think of, to warn them, and alert all of the campgrounds, if everyone will have time to move?

Friday, September 2, 2011

The Country

The humans went to the country today, to tend the yard up there. Naturally the rabbits hopped along, planning to drop in on their friends the cows to collect more manure, to try to repair the bush Nick the Cat's relations damaged, not to mention taking a dip in the cows' personal swimming hole. Before they could hop off, though, the humans' lawn mower broke, and thus they had to return home. Needless to say, the bunnies were not pleased, and those horrible bad luck cats that are loitering at our neighbor's, trapping them in their dwelling, are prime suspects in their view. I suspect Betsy more, though. If the lawn mower is fixed, the humans will have to return to the country tomorrow, you see. And, due to those scheduled fireworks this weekend, Betsy naturally felt the weekend would be a much better time for picnickers, their baskets stuffed with sandwiches, cookies, sodas and other goodies, to be in the area. Massive amounts of thefts are planned, I am sure. I just hope all of those poor, misfortunate picnickers thought to purchase insurance, before taking off for their weekend fun, for they will surely need it when Betsy is through with them.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Getting Rid of Bad Luck Continued

I happened to glance at the calendar today, and realized something. The humans have an event scheduled for this weekend involving those annoying fireworks things, that I think might work perfectly in my plot to repel Nick the Cat's relations, before they can present me with more bad luck. Perhaps one of those fireworks could be misaimed, to singe a tail or whiskers. Wouldn't that be amusing, and sure to send those horrible bad luck causing disgraces of cats fleeing the zip code?

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Bad Luck Almost Dealt With

Those horrible relations of Nick the Cat were almost dealt with this afternoon when one of the dogs next door left their nice fenced enclosure and went trotting over towards the house where those horrible bad luck causing felines have been loitering. And there is no proof I had anything to do with the pup's escape, or his recruitment to try to repel the bad luck either. Those claw marks on the fence lock could have came from anything, and I'm sure they aren't proof that I feline might have picked the lock. At least our neighbors can't prove it and demand a replacement lock. Unfortunately, before the pup could chase Nick the Cat's cousins into the next county, one of the annoying ones, not one that I would ever drop in on, his human spotted him and demanded he come home at once. So those rotten cats are still there. But there is always tomorrow. The humans have to go to work sometime!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Wart Issue

The human's wart issue continues to annoy me. The annoying thing is still there, and the human has learned, after the walking she was forced to do, calling on the ill relation, that any activity aggravates it. I swear, I ought to turn the law loose on those lazy frogs, for causing this. They ought to be ashamed of themselves. They are total failures as frogs, and apparently they have something against the human too, although I can't imagine what. First, they didn't eat the mosquitoes, the only thing they were supposed to do in exchange for free rent, leading to the human being eaten alive and forced to take an anti-histamine, and now this. Really, if they were so all fired determined to afflict someone with warts, why didn't they get one of Nick the Cat's rotten relations?

Monday, August 29, 2011


Nick the Cat's relations have done it this time, and might I say that I am eagerly awaiting seeing them bopped about their ears with carrots, celery and any other vegetables the rabbits find within paw's reach when those cats come trotting by again? The bunnies were hopping about, checking the plants in the front yard today, only to find a shrub that is looking poorly. A few questions were asked, and they finally got the truth out of those dogs who live next door. It seems that Nick the Cat's cousin has been treating the bush like a litter box, amusing himself using it, causing damage, likely in an attempt to fool other felines into thinking this property is theirs! The nerve of that family! This is clearly MY property, and I resent their trying to say otherwise! I have half a mind to borrow a carrot from the bunnies, to bop them myself, should they show themselves again!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Not Sure About This

The mice have been amusing themselves reading Christmas stories starring their large cousins lately, and I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. True, if they read about their relatives, I hope they'll want to visit them, and will write to them with this desire, and get us free bus tickets down, and lovely cheese meals for me. The fact the stories they're reading are Christmas ones, though, gives me pause. What if they decide they would like to visit their relatives for the holidays? That's over three months away! I don't want to wait that long for a cheese feast!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Must Visit the Mouse

I don't know what is taking my siblings so long, contacting their large rodent cousin, but really, they need to hurry up. We need to depart right away to visit him. Frankly, we ought to have left yesterday to visit him. Not only did the humans have to go visit that ill relation yesterday, with a possible return trip tomorrow or Monday, but that relation of a relation also managed to die. I'm sure he'll insist upon having a funeral too, which can only lead to great inconvenience for me. I'm sure the human will offer to dog and cat sit, and who knows if the dogs are the civilized sort or not? Their cat siblings have their own feline apartment, after all, so they might have failed to introduce their siblings to decent behavior. Yes, I definitely have to leave right away, before anyone gets the idea into their head that I should devote my time to possibly reforming any delinquents.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Penguin Issues

The penguins sent an email to their penguin friends in Florida today, wanting to see when they can come up for another gathering, only to hear back from the penguins that they are booked up for the next few weeks, attending weddings. Apparently some humans, humans I can assume are friendless, since they handed out wedding invitations to random birds, decided to invite them to their wedding. And not one but several humans did this! Have you ever heard of such foolishness? And, of course, now my penguin siblings are all fired up. They got the idea that they ought to attend weddings too, and are now composing an ad advertising the virtues of penguins, and offering themselves as attendants for weddings, siting their already tailor-made suits and tails and the classic timelessness of their black and white color scheme. They've even offered up their chicks for morning weddings, claiming with their grey feathers they're a perfect touch, and they're much better behaved than any human child. What in the world am I going to do if someone hires them? I know they won't share their fish pay with me!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Human's Foot Issue

The human got her injured foot looked at today, and the doctor concluded that the problem is due to a wart, right under her big toe. A wart! I'm sure those lazy frogs who are amusing themselves freeloading in the backyard are responsible for this. First the lazy things can't be bothered with controlling the mosquito population. They just amuse themselves swimming all day, without doing anything to improve the property, or without offering to pay a bit of rent. And now this. A wart! And with where it is, it is very painful for the human, and awkward to walk. The doctor is treating it, but in the meantime, it has to be bandaged to allow slight foot function. My service is going to be cut drastically until it is gone. Those frogs will pay for this! As soon as I can, I am going to have them served with a bill for back rent! And I might just find a way to cut their pool access too!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Human and Plants

The human has somehow injured her foot, and this afternoon she decided to try some sort of special mineral soak to make it feel better. I highly approved of this when I heard. After all, a crippled, limping human is more likely to take the rabbits up on their offer to fill my food dish than one who can walk without pain. But then I saw what it said on the bag of minerals. They're good for PLANTS! Plant food! She's soaking her foot in PLANT FOOD! Oh, this is a disaster. And worse, the bag that the plant food came in is huge! When the bunnies get their paws on it, and I know they will, we are all doomed! It will do their plants a world of good, I am sure. Why couldn't the human find something harmless to tend her injury, and not a giant sack of plant food?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Mice and Cheese

Between letting the mice lurk on the computer to read comic books, in order to get them all fired up to visit their cousin, I've been doing a bit of research. Did you know that this mouse has several restaurants that he amuses himself visiting, including one with his name on it? A restaurant named after a mouse. That has to mean that a ton of cheese is served there, don't you think? Perhaps they even serve nothing BUT cheese! And, since I'm going to be so nice, accompanying my little mouse siblings down to visit their relations, surely that large rodent will want to take me out to dinner, as a thank you. I just hope that I won't be forced to ride that train I've heard about to get there. With how fast I've heard those doors close, my tail might be endangered.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Bad Luck Lurking

I am borrowing the cell phone right away, so that the mice can place a long distance call to their cousin, in order to get him to arrange their bus fare to his park. I must flee immediately, and it seems the only reasonable solution. Oh, Nick the Cat himself, the king of bad luck, must have personally dropped in to arrange this. Another of the human's relations has managed to take ill, and now there is much talk of heading up that way to check on this human. The place they're planning to head is the same place they visited back in January, the same place that nearly resulted in my conversion to vegetarianism when the humans didn't return as soon as planned and my food dish became empty along with the back-up dish and the back-up for the back-up dish. The bunnies are rubbing their paws together now, sure that my conversion is at hand. I have to get out while there's still time!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Mice and Relation Visiting

I've thought some more about the mice visiting their rodent relations in Florida, and I've came to realize something. With that mouse down there, making all of that money from his park, it doesn't seem fair for him to make a little kitty pay to take his cousins on a road trip to visit. Two of his cousins live here, and then a mouse who trotted over from China, who I'm sure is a distant relation. That would be only thirty dollars for seats each way. The mouse could certainly afford that, from what he makes selling those pairs of fake mouse ears alone. And, of course, my mouse siblings really wouldn't need three full seats. Two would be more than enough room for them, leaving a free seat for ME! I must demand they write their cousin right away to present this idea to him, before I go spending any of my hard begged money.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Bad, Bad Dogs

Oh, Dogs, you should be ashamed of yourself. You should hang your heads, droop your ears and fly your tails at half-mast. Really, how could you be this rotten? The human went uptown again today, and once more there were a ton of dogs, trotting around that horrible farmer's market, not doing a thing to prevent vegetable purchases. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the canines weren't even encouraging them by offering to help rabbits with their purchases, and toting baskets to vehicles. And dogs, as if that horrible behavior wasn't enough, there was a genealogy fest up there today, and did you raise a paw to prevent this horrible event? Oh, NO! You trotted around it, not causing a bit of trouble. I'm sure some of you even poked your noses into booths, looking for information on your family tree. You ought to be ashamed. The human has already added a new limb to that tree, and probably sold who knows how many books, thanks to that thing. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, you organized some sort of historical costume contest for visitors of the four legged variety! Only the fact that the bunnies couldn't find an appropriate outfit, due to Betsy refusing to share her bear sized weapons kept me from being forced to take part! You should be ashamed of yourselves!

Friday, August 19, 2011


Does anyone have any suggestions for what I ought to pack for a visit to my mice siblings' relations down in Florida? I'm guessing they might find my toy mice offensive. I was thinking about tossing in the lizard on a string. Does anyone know if there are lizards employed by these rodents who might take offense? And should I take my set of mouse ears along? That mouse seems to insist that everyone who visits purchase a pair, after all. I would hate to be forced to buy a second set. And can you imagine how awkward two pairs would be to wear?

Thursday, August 18, 2011


Does anyone have any ideas as to how to best pack a batch of mice into a suitcase? I've been looking up the price of travel to their relation's dwelling in Florida, should I hear that a funeral is in the offing. True, the price is very reasonable, ten dollars one way, I believe, plus a possible transfer charge, much cheaper than a night in jail, but still, it makes no sense at all to buy the mice their own seats, and it would be horribly cramped to have to share my seat with them. So, how would be best to pack them in my suitcase? I'm sure they would go along with it. I'll just tell them that the money saved can be used to buy trinkets at their cousin's park.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

MUst Do Something Right Away

I have to do something right away, to get out of here. I wonder how long it will take for the mice to pack their wardrobe for a trip to visit their rodent relations in Florida? I'm sure we could catch the bus. I could even hide the mice in a suitcase, to save on the fare. I just know I have to get out of here right away. The human has a relative who has reported that one of her in-laws or possibly an outlaw happens to be in their deathbed. I'm sure a funeral is in the works, which can only lead to trouble for me. This human relation has a number of canine and feline offspring, and I heard the human saying something a bit ago about how they ought to offer to help her out by dog and cat sitting, while she's tending to the funeral mess. I am sure the cats would be fine, of course. They've even conned this human into building them their own feline apartment, after all. The dogs, on the other hand, I am not so sure about. What if they're like my other dog cousins, completely undisciplined canines? Of course, perhaps since they have cats for siblings, they're okay, but still, I'm not sure I want to take the chance. I think I better tell those mice to start packing for a trip right away.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Thinking More About the Mice

The more I think about this situation, the more I see real benefits to me in allowing the mice to visit their relations, with me along for the ride. The rodents at the park in Florida tend to be extra large, almost human sized while my mouse siblings are more my size. I can see no other way those Florida mice could have reached such a size than by stuffing themselves silly with cheese at every opportunity. The park must be packed with it, I am sure. And when they see their little cousins, I'm sure they'll want to give them a ton of cheese, to encourage their growth as well, and of course, being decent siblings, they will share this cheese with me. Cheese, all I can eat, and I'll bet they have some of the best imported cheeses too, over at that place with the big ball. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Yes, the mice should visit their relations right away. Maybe I'll go ahead and start packing, to encourage them to get a move on in planning a trip.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Today's Report

The human has sprained her shoulder, so they didn't go to the country today, like planned, thank goodness. I was slightly happy about that, but then the human got the idea to drop by the local mission. Apparently she wasn't up for doing work, but looking for work supplies for when she's feeling better is just fine. And you know what lurks around missions. I ended up with three more siblings, including a bear of the Christmas variety, who claims he wasn't really homeless but was dispatched early by Santa in an attempt to avoid Betsy Bear. I am now up to 698 siblings!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Mice Are Definitely Up to Something

The mice are definitely up to something, but I'm not sure what I should do about it. I spotted them, with a letter from their relations in Florida, discussing the next mouse family gathering, and then I heard a mention of taking me along, to meet all of their rodent relations. Of course, if they did take me along, I would have to stay at the deluxe hotel for my kind that their mouse cousin has built. A deluxe hotel with all of the ice cream I could eat. And possibly cheesecake too. Mice love cheese, after all, so I'm sure there would be plenty of that around, and of course they would have to share it with their guest. Perhaps I ought to agree to attend this family reunion after all? I'm sure it will be much better than those hosted by the human's relations.

Saturday, August 13, 2011


I'm not sure how concerned I should be by this. My two mouse siblings, cousins to that large mouse who owns the park in Florida, have taken to lounging on the human's bed for the last few days. They claim they are just wanting to read the comics that the human has, with stories devoted to their relations, and I must admit there are a number of the books in the human's room, and on her computer, but still, I am suspicious. What if they're whispering in the human's ear as she's sleeping, urging her to take them to Florida for some sort of mouse family reunion? Times of gardening shows and vegetable cooking sessions are prime times for such gatherings, after all, and would only lead to rabbit encouragement. I must keep a close eye on those mice. I know they are up to something.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Today's Bad Luck Arrived on Schedule

Despite my attempts to dodge it, and orders to the bunnies to reject any attempts by those horrible relations of Nick the Cat to drop of bad luck deliveries, the rotten luck made it through. The human dropped by the local Habitat for Humanity, likely in the company of a rabbit, and you won't believe what she came back with. Fabric! Books on Quilting! Books on WORK! I now have bunnies and polar bears busily reading, and I am sure plotting who knows how much trouble for me. I can't believe this. Bad luck repellent. I must invest in a large bottle of bad luck repellent right away.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Bad Luck on The Way

More bad luck is on the way. I think I will spend the day in bed tomorrow. Maybe if I don't move, Nick the Cat's relations won't be able to make their bad luck delivery. One of those felines was spotted a bit ago, strolling up to our poor neighbors' dwelling, likely to lounge on the porch and trap them inside their home for who knows how long. Having cats from that family in the area is never a good sign. They're probably plotting to cause a power failure, or arrange the delivery of family tree or rabbit encouragement. Anyway, I know that cat spells trouble. If only I could find some repellent, but then again, I would have to venture outside to spray it, which would only expose me to a bad luck delivery. Best to stay in here, and if that cat drops by, to order the bunnies to tell him that I am not home.