Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween Report

Halloween was a success, at least for Betsy Bear. At least 75 children came through, and suffered sack losses at Betsy's paws. The human was very impressed with the crowd, and is now talking about doubling her candy supply for next year. Doubling the supply! That can only lead to more children showing up and being robbed! And one of those children wanted to see me, too! And what if he remembers me, and holds me accountable for what Betsy did, robbing him of his goodies? Oh, and a dog came trick or treating too, so now the human is going to want to have goodies for them next year!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Candy is Here

The human went out today, and returned lagging EIGHT sacks of CANDY with her! Eight sacks of candy, and she got these little lanterns too, to hang up so that the children can be sure to find our house. Those poor, poor children. The human is even talking about hanging up signs at the end of the street, so they know where the candy is. We are in for a nightmare for sure come tomorrow night! Betsy will have the crime spree to end all crime sprees! We're doomed!

Monday, October 29, 2012

The Storm

I found out who is to blame for the storm threat that has those polar bears all fired up. Okay, the weatherman is to blame for his talks about it, and I will still see him tarred, feathered and chased out of town, but that mouse who lives in Florida is actually the guilty party who caused it! I learned of this last night, when my mouse siblings and a couple of the bears were camped out watching their weekly mouse show, only to find that Frankenstin was the star! Frankenstin and this storm is the Franken-storm. Obviously the mouse arranged this storm to promote this episode! There are bunnies who live down at his park. One of them hangs out with that bear Betsy robs every time she visits, and then there's another one who loiters around a deer. The mouse probably recruited them to dance up this storm. Well, it did what it was supposed to! It promoted the show! The mouse can just have the bunnies make it go away now!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Snow Update

The horrible, awful weatherman is now calling for a foot of snow or more. I will see him tarred, feathered and ran out of town for this! Just see if I don't. I don't know why the police haven't stepped in yet. Surely the noise from panicked polar bears is alarming someone besides me! Over a foot of snow. They're already pitching fits, with the snow just threatening. I don't want to imagine what they will do if it actually starts to fall. I don't want to live in their den! Polar bears snore! I will never be able to sleep! This is all the weatherman's fault!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Weatherman Must Suffer!

I have to do something to the weatherman. Really, he deserves the worst punishment that felines can dream up, to punish him for the disaster he has caused. He is calling for SNOW! The polar bears heard this awful news while they were out at that sale, which turned out to be a fabric sale, and rushed home in a panic with a pile of fabric. Now they are demanding I get into their den at once, and hand over all of my fur's nice warmth! My fur's warmth is for ME! Not for the bears! The weatherman will pay for this!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Sale Tomorrow

The human found a sale she wants to go to tomorrow, before a possible country visit, and I am concerned. This sale has a huge sign up, advertising the fact they have material available. It didn't specify if this material was the building sort of material or the fabric sort, but either kind is bad. Building material will make the bunnies want to put me to work and fabric will get the polar bears all fired up. I really ought to hide the car keys while there is still time.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Penguin Waddling Out

As if it isn't bad enough that the human lets the bunnies accompany her when she goes out, now she's letting the penguin waddle along much more than I'm sure is good, good for me, that is. I'm sure that penguin is putting horrible ideas into her head about the pool. I just heard her talking about how nice it would be to have the pool open year round. Only a penguin could have put that notion into her head! Can you imagine the parties that would occur if the pool was open all year? No one would ever get a wink of sleep!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Polar Bear Soda

The soda company is once more donating money to the polar bears for every soda purchased. How much money do those bears need to get their paws on? They're sure to get lots from this, for the soda company is now offering a ton of good prizes on their site for entering codes from the sodas. Each soda not only gets the polar bears cash but gets the humans points towards goodies which will only lead them to purchase more sodas, causing the bears to get more money. I hope the people who have the misfortune to live in Alaska are prepared, because the bears will be taking over there for sure with their new wealth.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Pool Repairman is Coming!

The pool repairman is coming tomorrow, to hopefully correct what the first repairman did wrong. I hope the zoo has invested in extra locks for the penguins' home, because my penguin siblings are working on party invitations now, in anticipation of the pool being repaired and functional soon. The zoo has a mass of Halloween events planned, which will only make the penguins' fleeing easier if their dwelling isn't secured properly. Really, they'll probably waddle right out disguised as waiters. And do you know how loud penguin parties get? And how much fish they eat? MY FISH!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Bunnies' New Book Purchase

I really must find a way to block the bunnies' access to Amazon, or at least a way to block their way to certain reading materials offered there. They just got a new book tonight, a VEGETABLE cook book! What in the world was Amazon thinking, selling a book on cooking vegetables to rabbits, although after some of the other books they've sold to them, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised they would do this too. I ought to report them to the neighbors. Letting those bunnies learn more ways to cook vegetables can only lead to them wanting to grow more vegetables for cooking purposes, which can only lead to the expansion of their garden. Isn't that thing already big enough?

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Halloween Countdown

The Halloween countdown has begun. I do hope that people display some intelligence this year, and hide in their homes on Halloween night, when Betsy Bear takes to the streets in search of children to rob of their candy. She's already getting the snitching sacks out, and mapping out her route, to make sure that not a lollypop or a gumdrop falls into any sack but hers by the end of the night. Really, I don't know why those parents keep letting their children try to collect candy. Do they really deserve to suffer so?

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Tree Online

I suggest everyone back away from your computers now before it is too late. The human is putting the family tree up at one of those horrible, awful online sites. She is sure that putting the awful, dangerous tree up will lead to her finding loads more relations. Well, I can tell you want that tree being posted will lead to, a DISASTER! Look out for falling nuts crashing your computers at any moment! RUN!

Friday, October 19, 2012


This doesn't bode well. The human is trying to work out how she can get television reception, possibly on her laptop, up in the country. A good episode of one of her favorite shows comes on next Friday, and there isn't a functional TV up there for her to watch it on. I was optimistic this meant that she would stay home, but now the bunnies have put the idea into her head of watching online. I have to find a way to sabotage this!

Thursday, October 18, 2012


The penguins are practicing their diving form, bouncing up and down on the beds and the couches, trying to touch their beaks to their webbed feet. Not a good sign. Diving practice makes me think they are planning on doing a bit of swimming soon, and penguins going swimming can only lead to them inviting other penguins over to take a dip. And the other penguins are likely to be from the zoo, too. I don't know why in the world that place hasn't done something to up their security. Surely penguin escapes can't be good for business.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What to Hide First

I need to to decide what I must hide first, the car keys or the phone. Not only is a country trip being threatened, but now there is the threat that the human will call a pool repairman in who might know what they are doing to fix the mess the first repairman made. Even though it's getting nippy, a repaired pool still has the potential for leading to penguin pool parties and zoo escapes. And all of MY fish being snatched to be served to party guests! All of my fish! I guess that means the phone should go first. Now to figure out where to hide it, and how to silence the ringer so it won't be found.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


Perhaps I can hide the keys to the car before Thursday. If I don't, I fear that the humans will go to the country again with the rabbit horde, which spells bad news for me. Either I will be captured and drug along, to possibly be put to work or suffer family tree exposure, or else the human will let those bunnies loose in a library again. Oh, how I fear it will be the library. It will be my luck it will be the library for sure. Really, why haven't the bunnies gotten eye strain by now from all of the reading they have been doing? Surely the carrots can't be that good for their eyes!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Cemetery Report

The country visit continues to plague me, even though the humans are back at the moment. The human visited two cemeteries while she was in the country, and came home with the news of the death dates of several relatives she was looking for. The problem is that our local paper doesn't seem to have their obituaries, which means that now the human is all fired up to go to the country, to visit another library there in search of this information. Visiting another library. That can only lead to the growth of that tree, and to the bunnies getting more cards!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Washing Paws

I'm back, and I think my poor paws are ruined, but hopefully I have ruined something that made the rabbits happy, as a punishment for their country antics. The human got a bunny pajama top yesterday, and left it here before she departed for the country with the bunnies. I spent the night soaking it in hot water to encourage shrinkage. The human tried it on again when she came home this afternoon, and was horrified to find that it was too small. Hehehehehehe. My paws are messed up from all the water, but it was worth it. You should see how upset the bunnies are that the top will have to be returned. Hehehehehehe!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Josie Rabbit Posting

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that we are in the country this evening, so our brother will not be posting. We left him a cell phone, but he claims it is too hard to type on the keyboard, so he will be blogless until tomorrow. Really, he should have rode up with us. We don't know what in the world he is so alarmed about. There are many nice cats here that we're sure would be wonderful friends.

Friday, October 12, 2012


A red alert for the country should be issued for tomorrow. It's bad enough that the bunnies want to hop up there to collect library cards, but now Betsy wants to go as well. She heard the humans discussing inviting a baby to visit the country, and now she's drooling, picturing the potential candy she can get her paws on. Surely with as many rabbit friendly businesses that are up there, the people who have made the mistake of living in the country have doubled their insurance, though, or at least for their sake, I hope they have. They will need it, if Betsy gets loose.

Thursday, October 11, 2012


The bunnies hopped out today, and when they returned, they presented me with 9 issues of the comic starring my favorite feline, Dex-Starr. I have been asking for this comic for a year, and the bunnies suddenly produced nine issues, and a promise to try to get the most recent four issues to bring things current. What in the world are they up to?

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Library Cards Obtained

The bunnies went to the library, and a parrot happily provided the lot of them with more little cards. That bird ought to be ashamed of himself, and the dogs that were loitering around the library should be ashamed too. Apparently there was a canine there when the rabbits hopped in, looking for a copy of The Hound of the Baskervilles, and he didn't do a thing about those rabbits! He even offered to scoot over a bit, if they wanted to check out the shelf he was examining, to try to find books! This is horrible, and who knows what else they will find to do this weekend? They want MORE cards!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Country Library Update

The bunnies found a branch of one of the country libraries quite nearby, and now they're hopping around, wanting the human to drop in there tomorrow afternoon, to allow them to get cards. I have a horrible feeling the human might agree to this, since she's been reading a lot lately, and the bunnies are tempting her with the thought that this library might have a ton of interesting books just waiting for her. And what if they have books on work? Or on gardening? They're awfully fond of vegetables in the country, which does not bode well for potential reading selections!

Monday, October 8, 2012


We're doomed. That's all that I can say. Betsy Bear popped into a place where they host early voting today, and I think they may have actually let that bear turn in a ballot! She probably voted to legalize honey theft and taking candy from babies! And just when the humans involved in the election were getting as annoying as I thought possible, that bear sticks her paws into things. What if her cousins in the bear mafia get involved too? Who knows how many crimes they could make legal if they get their paws on enough ballots!

Sunday, October 7, 2012


The humans are talking about going to the country tomorrow, to gather more building supplies. They went out this afternoon, to get an idea of what they might need, and would you believe they let a bunny hop along with them? I'm sure that cotton tailed troublemaker put enough ideas into their heads that a trip to the country will happen. And that means there is a danger that a trip to a country library will happen! The bunnies will get loads of little cards, and will find loads of books on work, I just know it! How can the library keep letting them hop in like they do? Isn't there some law about letting bunnies read so much? It surely isn't good for cats!

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Country Libraries

The bunnies called one of the horrible rabbit friendly country libraries today, to research how to get their paws on more library cards, and got happy news on how easy it will be. They're wanting to hop up there tomorrow, so they can go card gathering bright and early on Monday. And I very much fear they want to take me, so I can help carry their giant pile of little cards. We have just had a cold snap! I would be in danger of freezing my fur off if I was lagged to the country! Not to mention I'm sure it's against some sort of feline cruelty law to make a cat go to rabbit friendly libraries. What if the bunnies get to talking to the library's other cotton tailed patrons? It would be my luck they would get more recommendations for books on work!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Power Failure

The lights just went off, and I suspect it was an attempt by the bunnies to prevent me from posting, and telling you about the horrors of today. The human went to the country today, to visit the library, accompanied by those rabbits. She came home, happily lagging a pile of obituaries that will make that horrible tree of hers grow even more. And the bunnies came home crowing about the library. It has an underground burrow like section too, and to make it even more animal friendly, it has quilts hanging up, for the comfort of visiting polar bears. The bunnies hope to hop up there again next week, and to another library the found right down the road to add to their card collection. Oh, and to make things even worse, the bunnies found a church holding a benefit on the way up to the country. There was a bear loitering there, and of course they invited her to move right in. The sibling count is 733, and the horror count is unimaginable.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Red Alert!

Red Alert! Red Alert! A truck just zoomed by, spraying our area for mosquitoes! The human is allergic to such things, and after her last extremely limited exposure broke out in disgusting looking hives! So now she is hiding in her room planning to take preemptive doses of anti-histimines. What if she does break out? Do you know how truly horrible hives are to view? Can I hold the city accountable for forcing such a sight upon my tender kitty eyes?

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Possible Country Trip

The bunnies are talking about a possible country trip within a day or so. They have got the human all fired up about venturing to the country to do more research on that terrible, awful, nightmarish tree, so I very much worry that this trip might happen. And even worse than the potential tree growth a visit to the country could cause is the bunnies' plan to visit a few country libraries! The bunnies have been discussing some of these libraries, too, and did you know that at least one other country library has an underground section? Another rabbit friendly library! Where are the cat friendly libraries? Surely there have to be some out there, filled with books on napping and laziness!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

New Rabbit Novel

I have a horrifying announcement to make. I don't want to frighten everyone, but you probably need to know so you will understand should you feel ground shaking. It's not an earthquake, or people rolling over in their graves as humans look silly over this election thing. It is the rabbits celebrating the release of a new rabbit novel.

The Further Tale of Peter Rabbit, an adventure of my rabbit siblings' relation, which you can purchase here should you be into horror. It just came out, and the rabbits learned of it today when they saw some sort of news release so now they are racing to plan parties. Soon hopping will fill the land, and breakables will tumble from shelves as the vibrations caused by big bunny feet bouncing around are felt. What in the world was this author thinking, writing a bunny book, and letting it be published? It will only lead to encouragement for those rabbits!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Backyard Bunny

There is a bunny, one of the undomesticated sort, living in our backyard, I am horrified to announce. I spotted him lagging in his bunny furniture a while back, and establishing a burrow, and burrow that he is paying no rent on, I would like to add. Now he's taken to hopping about the yard, and worse yet, posing for the human to take pictures of him! And do you know what the human plans to do with those pictures? She plans to use them to help make a cover for those awful bunny books of hers! This rabbit is assisting with book construction!