Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Upcoming Horrors

April is going to be a month of nightmarish proportions, Is all that I can say. I would suggest for your own safety, that you lock yourselves in your basements now, and wait for the month to be over. The human is planning to get back to writing starting tomorrow, and not only is she planning to write more of her tales of rabbit terror, but she's wanting to do some writing on her bear stories. That will only encourage Betsy! I can't even begin to imagine what that bear will do if she feels she is being encouraged. Isn't her bad behavior rotten enough when we're trying to discourage her? I wonder if the basement is secure enough for the disaster that is about to hit? Our only hope is that the human is playing an early April Fool's joke.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Hiding Place

If you were going to hide from a flock of delinquent bunnies, where would you hide? The rabbits are talking about the need to plant their peas, and possibly lettuce soon, and I just know they've got me marked down to assist them in this. I don't like the way those rabbits are looking at me, and waving shovels and seed bags in my direction at all. I've been scouting out hiding places to avoid them, but I'm not sure what is best. Under the bed has worked well for me for years, but then again, the rabbits could squeeze under there pretty easy, and use their little net to drag me out. Then I thought about on top of the wardrobe, but I might be easy to spot there. There's hiding in a box of quilt material too, but I'm not sure the polar bears can be trusted not to give me away. Does anyone have any suggestions? If I get stuck planting peas, I'm sure that I will be made to assist in putting in a lettuce bed next!

Monday, March 29, 2010


The rabbits are moving full speed ahead with Easter preparations. With the head rabbit hopping around, they want to impress the bunny with their industry, so they're wanting to get a ton of work done on their garden this week. I might have to go into hiding. They've been making maps, and drawing up diagrams, and there's even been some talk about planting peas, if you can imagine something so frightening. Does anyone know where would be best to hide from all of this? They're talking about needing help constructing pea netting for their peas t climb on, and I'm sure they're planning to recruit me.

My Apologies

I'd like to apologize to anyone who got hit with more rain than they wanted today. The rabbits have been working hard on their gardening plans, and part of this calls for putting down plastic or cardboard to kill grass and open up garden space. They thought their material would stick better to wet ground, so they held a rain dance that got a bit out of hand. On the up side, though, if the stuff does stick well, at least they won't be trying to draft me into assisting them with weighing it down with rocks!

Friday, March 26, 2010

More Novel Horrors

The human has an idea for yet another book in that series of rabbit horrors, and she's thinking about trying to crank out a chapter in a little bit. Does anyone have any ideas as to what I can do to stop her? The rabbits really don't need the encouragement, and while she's writing, she's oblivious to everything else. You don't want to know the number of things that Betsy's got away with while the human has been typing away, and I'm sure the sheep were much woolier before she started writing. How can I stop her?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Family Tree Again

The human found a site with a bunch of info for that horrible tree. It's kind of out of date, though, so she's definitely wanting to sign up for some awful site to hunt down obituaries to get the most recent people on her relative list. She took a two or three inch binder to the family reunion last year, packed with obituaries. I hate to see what she will take this year. And she is talking to another relative who just mentioned a reunion. What if they decide to do two?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

More Family Tree Troubles

The human has decided that she needs to get back to work on that horrible tree, in order to get all of the material she needs for the book update she is hoping to do formated, so she can start taking orders at the family reunion in mid-June. The house will be full of terror for who knows how long if she does something like that. Does anyone know of how I can discourage her? She's already talking in an alarming way about signing up for an online service to hunt obituaries.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Warning for Europe

Should you live in Europe, well, I hope you weren't too fond of your food. Betsy Bear found a teddy travel agency today that offers deals on travel over, just for bears. She's poking around beneath all of the couch cushions now trying to find money to see about booking a flight. Those poor, poor people. And the polar bears are running around panicking, sure that if Betsy gets a flight, she will torment those poor little polar bear cubs in Germany. I think they're planning to email the zoo where these cubs live, so they'll have time to flee. I wonder if there is time to get Betsy put on a no-fly list?

Monday, March 22, 2010

Family Tree

That horrible tree is expanding, and it's so alarming that I hesitate to share here. The human was jumping up and down last night, celebrating as she found another relative. Do you know how alarming it is to hear her celebrating the demise of various relations so that she can find their obituaries and get lists of survivors? How am I supposed to sleep with all of that going on?

Sunday, March 21, 2010


Should you be on Facebook, I suggest that you flee now, because that place is about to become a den of terror. Betsy Bear is looking into getting a Facebook account so she can play a variety of criminal games. They offer a shocking number of those things on there. I don't want to think of how well she will do at those sorts of things, and it is sure to encourage her to greater heights of crime. Flee now before the horror gets you!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Evil Weatherman

The weatherman is evil, is all that I can say. I've suspected this for awhile, but he finally confirmed it, by calling for snow, on National Quilting Day, when a quilt store was having a sale. Naturally you can imagine what the polar bears wanted to do right away. I can only assume that this weatherman has someone who is employed at this store, and gets bonuses for panicked purchases. And to make matters worse, one of those fabrics is a rather suspicious looking cat print. I think the polar bears have plans to draft me into helping with the assembling of quilts!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Bear Picnic

The bears just got an invitation to a picnic. I can only assume that means the bear that sent it isn't a reader of this blog. Here he gives the date and place of this picnic in an invitation that Betsy Bear is sure to see. I have never seen such a recipe for disaster in my life. She's already making plans to get a giant snitching sack. Do you think I should call the police and give them an early heads up, so they'll know to expect lots of crime on the day of the picnic? I'd hate for them to let officers have time off, and then have to call them in again.

Seed Horrors

Well, every store has seed out, probably in anticipation of the arrival of the Easter Bunny in a couple of weeks. The rabbits already have their first packs of the season along with eighty onion bulbs. I do hope our neighbors thought to double their homeowner's insurance in anticipation of this event. And, to make matters worse, the rabbits checked in a magazine today, and saw how to get an early start on stuff. They're wanting to trot out in the next few days to start digging up their plots to put in their spring vegetables. Have you ever heard of something so alarming in your life?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Zoo Game

The people in charge of the human's zoo game on Facebook messed things up, and as a result, the human is now part of a boycott. Normally I would be thrilled, but she's talking about the time she will have for writing now that she doesn't have to tend her zoo. And what will she be writing? Rabbit encouragement! She has several new ideas for more horror! What did our neighbors do wrong to deserve this? I urge everyone to write to Zoo World on Facebook right away and demand the Wildlife points be put back the way they were. The neighbors love their home so. Help save it!

Monday, March 15, 2010


I swear, this town has more foolish behavior going on than any other place I've ever heard of. There was a cake show this weekend, and right on a bus line too. You would think the library would know better than to organize something like this, wouldn't you, with the sticky paw prints that Betsy's left all over their books. But there you go, they did it, and if they had insurance, I do hope it doesn't pay for them doing something so dumb right where that bear could get to them. I think you can safely guess what happened to all of those cakes with Betsy on the loose.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

That time of the Year

It's that time of the year again, the time when groups of children trot around, oblivious to the danger they are in, as they sell boxes of cookies. Needless to say, Betsy has been having a blast, and I imagine there are a bunch of children who now need psychiatric care as a result of her antics. And there's a human hanging out next door with cookies too. Have you ever heard of anything so foolish? I told my cat mother to warn her away but I guess she didn't listen. I'm keeping my paws over my ears whenever I'm in the section of the house closest to those neighbors so I won't be a witness to the horror. And the rabbits aren't any help. They think they can use the empty cookie boxes as a weed barrier or something in their garden. I think they're encouraging Betsy to gather more cookies!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Quilt Show Horrors Day Two

The human went back to the quilt show this morning, and of course those delinquent polar bears and Betsy went with her. I do hope all of those quilts were insured, and I hate to think of what happened to those poor people who were having a raffle for charity, and offered candy as incentives. I can't even say what Betsy did to that little venture. It would get my blog an x rating. And the human took photos of this evil too, so I there is evidence of what my siblings did. Really, they should be ashamed, and to make matters worse, the human thinks she might need to go back for more fabric at some point.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Apologies to the Quilt Show

Some foolish human had an exhibit of antique quilts up at the quilt show when the humans trotted up there today. Those quilts had survived sixty years or longer, and then they met the polar bears. Do you think I can be blamed for what those naughty polar bears did? And I'm sure that someone is going to come looking around here for Betsy Bear. There was an incident with some quilts and honey stains. I don't think those wash out. Really, what was the human thinking, letting both the polar bears and Betsy accompany her? And to make matters worse, she's wanting to go BACK tomorrow!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Quilt Show

The human is going to that quilt show tomorrow, and all I can say is that I hope those poor, foolish humans have insurance. The polar bears have been complaining a lot about how nippy it's been lately, and I just know they're going to try to get their paws on every quilt that they can. Really, the human ought to be ashamed, going to such an event and endangering all of those quilters with my warmth obsessed siblings. And what if they get fabric? They will then need wool for batting!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Moment of Silence Please

May we have a moment of silence for the poor neighbors, who are about to become homeless? The stores have started putting seed out, and the rabbits got five new packs this afternoon. They have two of sweet banana peppers, one of Hungarian hot wax, one of Delicious tomato and one of gray zucchini. And, to make matters worse, one of our neighbors just had some remodeling done. She's going to regret that big time in a few weeks. The bunnies are thinking about hopping out for special seed starting materials, sure to get your seeds growing faster, soon. Our neighbors are doomed!

Saturday, March 6, 2010


I have decided that Farmville is evil. Granted, it's keeping the human nicely distracted, but you won't believe what the game is offering. It is allowing sheep to be used as a crop! Don't these foolish people know better? Such crops are bound to attract polar bears. And now I have my polar bear siblings camped out here while I'm trying to type, wanting me to hurry and get off so they can check the crops, and see if it's time to harvest the sheep yet. Have you ever heard of such? And they just allowed the human another free sheep today, too!

Book Sale Tommorrow

The human is plotting to go to a giant book sale in the morning. Normally, I would be okay with this, but the polar bears are making plans to sneak along, in order to look for books on scarves, and quilts, and the bunnies were thinking of stowing away to get some books for their garden. I don't want to think of what Betsy is hoping to find, or maybe she's just hoping that there will be lots of babies with their parents that she can take for all of their candy. Do you suppose I ought to call and warn this book sale that they are doomed?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Horrible February

I'm sorry I didn't post much in February. The month was totally terrible for me. I swear, I ought to bring charges against our weatherman. It seemed like every time I turned around, there he was on television, predicting more snow. I think he gets some sort of horrible pleasure out of seeing polar bears run around in a panic, trying to find mittens, scarves, hats, sweaters and earmuffs. Really, he should be ashamed of himself. It was bad enough that he skimped on studying the weather this summer, and just made his forecasts based on what rain dances he spotted the rabbits doing out in the backyard, but this is just too much. Doesn't he have something better to do with his time? I ought to turn him in to the weather association!