Saturday, December 31, 2011
As if it isn't bad enough that there is a massive bear plot to take over one or more states, now the bunnies are up to something, and I'm not sure I want to know what it is. The first seed catalog arrived just yesterday, and as expected, they bounced around reading it, and then they hopped outside to show it off to their new squirrel friend. I'm not allowed to even look at the door anymore, but I watched them from the window. One squirrel soon increased to many squirrels gathered around the catalog each armed with a little pencil and pad of paper. I can only pray I saw it incorrectly, but it looked like they were drawing up plans for the world's largest corn maze, which will take up the whole of this state from the Virginia border, down to the Georgia line. And with the squirrels involved, I fear this corn maze might actually happen! What in the world are our neighbors going to think if they wake up to find they're living in a corn maze one day?
Friday, December 30, 2011
If you live in Alaska, I suggest you start hunting sheep, and possibly fish now, to pay your taxes come April. The polar bears have befriended the grizzly bears. There was a special about it on PBS. Really, should they be allowed to broadcast something alarming like that on the channel where children watch those funny puppet things? Anyway, the bears have teamed up, and with the polar bears' new wealth, I'm sure they're plotting to take over Alaska and make it succeed from the Union. So if you should want to keep living there, I suggest that you start looking for an appropriate payment for your new bear overlords now. True, Alaska is kind of cold, so they'll probably eventually swap it for a warmer state, but until then, be prepared to pay bushels of wool and tons of fish for the privilege of living on the bears' new property.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The bunnies' preoccupation with that Kindle continues. Normally, I would be thrilled, since it might distract them from attempts to make me work, but right now I'm very nervous about the thing and what the rabbits might be reading on it. I'm sure that there is nothing in their reading list on the benefits of laziness, and I wouldn't be surprised if they don't have a copy of that book on forcing cats to bathe as well. I tried to look at it this morning, to see what horrible materials they have but as soon as I laid a paw on it, I was pounced on by several bunnies, and accused of trying to scratch the nice screen with my claws. Really, the nerve of those rabbits! And now they are keeping a close eye on it, and another batch are keeping a close eye on me, to make sure I don't bother their precious little machine!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
This Christmas was a terrible success for Betsy, I am very sorry to say, which means that it was the stuff of nightmares for regular people. Really, I don't know why those poor people don't give up on celebrating the holiday, and I certainly don't understand why Santa keeps foolishly attempting to deliver gifts. If you lost food this holiday season, well, it's your own fault for not eating quickly enough before Betsy could get to your house, now isn't it? And if you lost socks that you had foolishly hung with care, the polar bears are using them for paw warmers. Good luck getting them away from those bears. As for anyone missing sweaters, I just hope you didn't need them, for Betsy has sold the entire lot to various flocks of sheep, who suffered a horrible wool loss after the polar bears got through with them. Really, I don't know why you people keep trying. All you're doing is feeding that bear, and possibly encouraging the polar bears.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
The Kindle has arrived, and needless to say, the bunnies are thrilled with it. They're all gathered around it now, poking at it to figure out how to load what I'm sure is a terrifying amount of rabbit reading material onto it. Does anyone know the best way to block them from obtaining gardening guides? Heaven knows what they might accomplish should they make those things portable!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Does anyone know of there are any rules for reciprocating Christmas gifts? More specifically, are there rules for what a good, decent feline should do if you work hard each year, and send gifts to relations, who constantly forget to gift you with something in return? I don't blame the dogs, of course. They're shut-ins, who aren't allowed out of their yard to go shopping, but really, what in the world is their human thinking? Is there something that I should be doing about this situation? For several years this has gone on, with my gifting these canines with no return gift. Should I assume their human is horribly prejudiced against felines?
Friday, December 23, 2011
Horrible news. The bunnies are getting a Kindle for Christmas. I can only assume that their leader, the Easter Bunny, had a chat with Santa and somehow convinced him that the bunnies had been extra good, and were deserving of this. Well, Santa should be ashamed of letting a cotton-tailed creature fool him in this way! A Kindle. Horrors, horrors, horrors! Do you know how easy having one of those things in their paws will make carrying around books about work? And books on gardening? How can Santa do this? Do you think it's too late to try to get their present revoked?
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Just a few more days until Santa starts out on his attempt to once more deliver gifts. I do hope he's had the opportunity to double his insurance since last year, for goodness knows, Betsy has doubled the number of traps she has on hand to capture him, and get all of his goodies. I think I might have to find a hiding place come Christmas Eve, to avoid the chaos that is sure to result. I wonder if hiding in the lower branches of the Christmas tree might work? Goodness knows that Santa won't reach it, and as long as no one gifts us with food, Betsy will leave it alone. I wonder how I should go about constructing an ornament disguise?
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
This afternoon it was the mice the human let go out, to visit a restaurant and order a cheeseburger, hold the burger, bun and everything but the cheese. Perhaps I can convince the human to let the mice go out again, instead of allowing who knows which ones of my siblings to trot out next? Perhaps going out will put those mice in the mood to make a longer trip to visit their large rodent cousin, with me along for the ride, and for the cheese when I get there.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
The human let my owl sibling flap out of the house this afternoon to accompany her to yet another doctor's appointment. Really, I don't know why she keeps letting my siblings trot out, and then has problems when I try to go out to prevent the squirrel from converting our yard into a pumpkin patch or a corn field. Anyway, the owl came home all fired up from being allowed out, and now refuses to head for bed for the night. Just perfect. How am I supposed to get sleep with an owl hooting, and flittering around the house all night?
Monday, December 19, 2011
The human limped off to the doctor today, to get that wart looked at, in the company of a bear and the anteater, and the next thing I know she's limping home, in worse condition than she left in. Apparently the doctor decided to try to scrape a bit of wart skin off with a scalpel or something, and needless to say, it didn't go well. The human is practically sobbing from pain at the moment, and her foot usage is very limited. Really, why in the world didn't that bear do something to prevent this? Now how will get proper service?
Saturday, December 17, 2011
As if things weren't going badly enough, with Betsy taking to train robbery, one of the bears reported passing the zoo while they were out with the humans, and seeing that construction work is being done there, probably to make it nicer for the residents, although really they ought to be working on improving security, with how often various creatures pop over here for parties. At first, I wasn't sure why I needed to know about this, but then it hit me. If work is being done at the zoo, there will be noise, and I'm sure that the penguins will object to that, never mind the red pandas, zebras and who knows what other animals. So, they'll likely be looking for somewhere else to stay until the humans are finished with their zoo improvement project. And why do I have a feeling that my siblings are going to offer this place as temporary accommodations? Well, they better not invite the lions, is all that I can say! My box isn't big enough for one of those!
Friday, December 16, 2011
I'm sorry I didn't post last night, but I was trying to lay low. The human let Betsy Bear out to visit the mall, and I was sure that the law would be arriving any second to arrest that awful bear for the robbery of the train they had running, circling the mall walkways. There were a number of children on it that Betsy held up for all of their candy. Those poor, poor children. They'll will probably need counseling for their robbery trauma, and I'm sure they got to see Betsy attack Santa's representative too, for all of his candy canes. I don't know why the mall doesn't do something, having a screener at the door to make sure that bear doesn't get in!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
The bunnies hopped around a bit ago to show me something. Apparently dollars y several places are offering a hundred dollars for photos of my kind. One cat has even earned cash already with a photo of himself in a hat like the rabbits had the human purchase for me. A hundred dollars. Do you suppose this is a sign that I should give in and wear the hat, at least for photo sessions? I could get a whole lot of cheese for that much money.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The bunnies have convinced the human to scatter corn seed in the front yard now, and of course their little squirrel buddy darted right over to check the seed out. I spotted him from the window, digging, and I am sure planting the seed. Wasn't the pumpkin seed and plotting to turn the yard into a giant pumpkin patch bad enough? Now they want to add a corn maze to the mix! And I am not fooled by their reassurances that a corn maze would bring in lots of money for us. I'm sure all it will do is result in the entrapment of our neighbors, if they foolishly try dropping by.
Monday, December 12, 2011
The human went out to that store that was having a sale on books again, and you won't believe the horror she found. A book, showing how to have a party devoted to the rabbits' beloved bunny author! Really, why in the world did some place create such a work, much less put it out where my human could purchase it? Needless to say, the bunnies were thrilled when she gave it to them, though, and they have been reading ever since, and are undoubtedly planning to host the sort of celebration the book recommends. They'll probably pop invitations to all of their rabbit friends into the mail tomorrow. Really, doesn't the mailman have enough troubles this time of year, lagging around Christmas cards, without adding bunny mail to his burdens?
Sunday, December 11, 2011
How worried do you suppose I should be that the human has been looking at a picture of this creature who is apparently begging for a good home? Just look at the size of the horns on that thing, and I'm sure it's an elephant, so it is likely a vegetarian. That's just what we don't need around here, more vegetarians, especially one with horns that could serve as PLOWS! I sense the garden growing by leaps and bounds if that thing gets in here.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Another bunny came hopping into the house today, along with a dog, bringing my sibling count up to 712. And this rabbit seriously worries me. She's in a cheerleader outfit, you see, and I'm sure that doesn't bode well at all. A cheerleader. She'll probably lurk in the garden come spring, calling out cheers to encourage the vegetables! Isn't talking with plants supposed to help their growth? If that works, I hate to think what cheering for them will do.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Upon hearing of my possible video appearance, the bunnies did some checking for me, and they told me this afternoon, when I tried to demand they stop looking for a carrot print Kindle case so I could get online to learn the best techniques for memorization, that they're sure this part will be a non-speaking role. Do you suppose I should be offended by that? As a cat, I'm sure I could add a ton to the video on the topic of cat fur, but at the same time, if the role is non-speaking, it might indicate that noise is to be kept at a minimum, which might mean that I will not have to wear the collar with the bell. And if I don't have to wear that collar while filming, then the bunnies might forget to poke it back on me afterwards! Perhaps silence is a virtue?
Thursday, December 8, 2011
The human hobbled to her doctor today, and it turns out he's making an educational video, including a segment on cat fur. Well, he can't do a segment on cat fur without a cat, now can he? Naturally, the human suggested me for the role, and I'm sure I would be just perfect. I wonder what collar would look best on film? Perhaps I should send the bunnies out to do a bit of shopping for me.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
This isn't the best photo, I suppose, but here is where the bunnies intend to force me to sleep, when I am drug to the country.
My assigned sleeping space will be just behind where the anteater is sitting.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
The human heard back from the human she's asking about artwork for those frightening books of hers. I don't know if I should hope that this works out or not. True, the books might distract my siblings from their plans to force me to wear headgear, but what if getting the books finally together provides encouragement for them? Betsy Bear plays a rather prominent role in those children's books, and goodness knows that bear doesn't need any encouragement.
Monday, December 5, 2011
The human went to a store today, and what did she come home with but a book, all about the bunnies' beloved bunny author's works. Such an annoying looking book, with bunnies all over the cover. The rabbits were very pleased with it, though, and now they're all clustered around, looking at it, and it's big enough that several bunnies can check it out at once. And even worse, it has crafts in it, bunny related crafts! You know they're going to want to make all of those, and I'm sure they're going to try drafting me to assist!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
I was innocently napping, when I was pounced on, and hatted again this afternoon. After much studying of me, my siblings have concluded that the hat looks best draped jauntily over one ear. So, I can look forward to spending my holiday with a sibling pouncing on me every time I turn around, and poking the hat on. Maybe I ought to offer to help them with their evil plans for getting their books published. They're looking for an illustrator now, you know. Perhaps if I could get them occupied with that, it would distract them from poking headgear on me!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Sorry I haven't posted for a few days. First I was trying to cope with the dizzy human, who was keeping the computer off, and then I was in hiding. You won't believe what happened to me last night. The human had gone out, in the company of a rabbit, I am sure, and when she returned, she had a HAT! A hat in MY size! It's a Santa hat, bright red with a pom pom on the end. And of course the bunnies insisted I try it on, so pictures could be taken. I have never been so embarrassed in my life, and with my numerous siblings' antics, that is saying something. Anyway, I finally escaped, and had to spend the evening staying out of sight, for fear of being hatted again.