This Christmas

This Christmas was a terrible success for Betsy, I am very sorry to say, which means that it was the stuff of nightmares for regular people. Really, I don't know why those poor people don't give up on celebrating the holiday, and I certainly don't understand why Santa keeps foolishly attempting to deliver gifts. If you lost food this holiday season, well, it's your own fault for not eating quickly enough before Betsy could get to your house, now isn't it? And if you lost socks that you had foolishly hung with care, the polar bears are using them for paw warmers. Good luck getting them away from those bears. As for anyone missing sweaters, I just hope you didn't need them, for Betsy has sold the entire lot to various flocks of sheep, who suffered a horrible wool loss after the polar bears got through with them. Really, I don't know why you people keep trying. All you're doing is feeding that bear, and possibly encouraging the polar bears.

Stockings

Has anyone ever noticed how big rabbit feet are? I really didn't pay much attention until the rabbits decided that they have to have stockings to hang up for Santa to stuff with seed on Christmas. I shudder to think of how much seed would be able to fit into a sock designed to fit on a large rabbit foot. Aren't there laws against things like that?