Tuesday, July 31, 2012
While the bunnies were checking out youtube for work related films, they found something truly alarming. It seems that many authors are making videos about their work and posting them on youtube to attract readers. So now the bunnies have decided that they should make a film about those frightening rabbit novels. Can youtube videos be rated dangerous for viewing?
Monday, July 30, 2012
Still no sign of the pool repairman. I don't like how the bunnies keep looking suspiciously at me, and then at the phone, though. I think they might be getting the idea in their fluffy heads that I was the only one near the telephone at the times the repairman might have called, and thus most likely to have said something to prevent his showing up. So now they are looking for my leash, and planning a nice, long session in front of the laptop, watching videos on WORK! They have the notion that since I might have done something to run off the repairman then that means I should be forced to labor, fixing the pool myself!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Should you have cookies in your home, I suggest you eat them now while there is still time, for Betsy Bear is on the warpath. The humans bought two packs of cookies on Friday, but upon the opening of these cookies, there was a horrible smell like motor oil, and and even worse taste. Needless to say Betsy, who had been standing by with milk for cookie munching was not pleased at all, especially since these were the only cookies in the house. She's talking about punishing the bakery, but first she intends to hunt down more cookies to munch. Beware should you have cookies! Betsy might be coming after you soon!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
I can't believe this, and I will see that home improvement store in court! The humans dropped in there this afternoon on their way back from the vegetable fest, and the person who waited on them gave them the news that he completely redid his house based on info from videos on Youtube. So now the bunnies are camped out, making a movie playlist of work related features to watch! And they expect me to attend this viewing! The home improvement store should be ashamed and so should youtube. This can only lead to the pool being fixed and the cottage being remodeled too, and you know the bunnies will try to put me to work helping!
Friday, July 27, 2012
I can't believe this. That horrible store, who delighted in selling the bunnies cheap seed, has a vegetable festival scheduled for tomorrow. Needless to say, the bunnies are wanting to hop to it, and horror of horrors, they are wanting me to accompany them! They're trying to coax me into agreeing by offering to go by the fish restaurant down the street afterwards, but still, so much vegetable exposure, is fish worth it? And what if one of the fish place's other feline customers see me?
Thursday, July 26, 2012
The swimming pool repairman hasn't showed up for the last two days to finish the job he was hired for, and get the pool into shape for the bunnies and the penguins. Now isn't that just a horrible, horrible shame? Hehehehehehee! That storm actually did me a good turn, taking out the answering machine. Now there is a much greater opportunity to reach the phone before the human on the other end hangs up. Not that the bunnies and penguins can ever prove that I am doing something with the telephone to prevent the repairman from showing up so they can go swimming. Anyway, if they were so worried he might call, why don't they hook up a phone in the human's room where the love to lounge, so they can answer first?
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The illustration woes are getting worse. Now I must start censoring the internet, I fear. The human learned from a magazine of a place where drawings can be obtained for five dollars each. FIVE DOLLARS! For such a good price, the human would be able to easily afford getting some of those bear books illustrated too. If you have children, I suggest you hide them now. Betsy Bear might be coming soon to a bookshelf near YOU!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Does anyone have suggestions for possibly sabotaging the phone, the car and any other things that the human can use to contact that person at church? I just heard her a bit ago, talking about how she needs to check in with them about the rummage sale promotion, and wouldn't it be nice if while she did that, if she checked too, about hiring that person she learned of to provide the cover for the rabbit work. A cover with a rabbit on the front! Have you ever heard of something so frightening? It will have a rabbit and a vegetable on the cover. And the bunnies are sure it will appeal to the farmer's market bunch and the food co-op people too. There must be something I can do to prevent this illustration from taking place!
Monday, July 23, 2012
The bunnies shared another horror from yesterday with me while they were lounging around awaiting the arrival of the repairman who is to get the pool fixed for their bunny swimming pleasure. Apparently while the human was at Sunday sermon, she got the happy news that the people in the pew in front of her have relations who are artists. So now she thinks she might have a good solid lead on getting that nightmarish rabbit book illustrated. Sniff, sniff, sniff. Really, the church should be ashamed of themselves! The bunnies are horribly encouraged now, and I don't want to think of how they will be acting should this book lead pan out!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
The humans took a little trip to the country today, in the company of three rabbits, to check on the cottage. When they returned. the bunnies were pleased to announce that everything was perfect, and then they started bouncing around chatting with other rabbits about how nice it would be to go up there in a few days, just in time for that nightmarish event honoring the tomato. I know I saw one of them hopping off to get my leash too. I don't want to attend something honoring the tomato! The event always has a cannon on hand for some nutty reason, and Betsy always manages to swipe it. I don't want to be there where I can be declared and accessory to her crimes!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
I barely escaped a trip to the beauty parlor, and a clawacure today. The bunnies located a beauty parlor that serves felines, and they were all fired up to drag me in for a trim, and probably a bath or something torturous like that too. I wouldn't put it past them to want to bathe me. They were lurking with my leash, and I was sure they were going to catch me, but thank goodness, the humans were expecting a repairman, and weren't able to drive the bunnies to the parlor with a captive cat. I fear what they might have planned for Monday, though. My poor claws!
Friday, July 20, 2012
Does anyone know what sort of living accommodations geese like? I just learned that a flock of these birds are living down by the creek only a couple of blocks away. That creek is on public land, and I don't think it is very fair for the city to collect money for renting to the geese, when there is a perfectly nice feline in the bird dwelling business so close by. What can I do to make my property more attractive to the geese? We've got a swimming pool with a diving board here. Don't you think they would like that much more than the boring creek?
Thursday, July 19, 2012
The kitchen is still smoky and the human's allergies are still troubling her. And I am getting worried. The bunnies are still lurking in the human's room, after snoozing there all day, and when I passed by a bit ago, and pressed my pointy ear to the space beneath the door, while pretending to sharpen my claws on the carpet, I know I heard them discussing fleeing to the smoke free country! What in the world am I going to do if they do decide to take a little trip? I know they'll try dragging me along! And if the human's sinuses feel better up there, who knows how long I might be trapped!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
We had another storm today. When it started, I looked around for the bunnies, sure they were dancing, but the lot of them were in the human's room, snoozing, so I'm not sure who to blame for the weather. Anyway, the power failed once more, and then when it returned, we got the happy news that lightning had damaged the hot water heater, and the kitchen was filled with an awful, smoky odor. Until the offending smell was tracked down, my siblings thought an evacuation was in order. I was almost trampled by Betsy Bear, rushing for the car! A neighbor was able to pop up, though, and hopefully fix the thing. The issue now is that the human is severely allergic to smoke, and must dose herself with sinus medication before it is too late. And while she's dosed and snoozing, who will be watching the bunnies?
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
The tree continues to grow. A relative offered to look up some obituaries for the human, so she sent off a long list bright and early this morning. I don't know what I'm going to do. And there is still no fence around that tree. What if a nut falls off one of the upper branches and hits a cat? Can I be sued by my fellow felines? It isn't like I've done anything to encourage the growth of that horrible, awful tree!
Monday, July 16, 2012
The human did find the information on Cousin Fred today. Horrors, oh, woe and horrors. That tree is growing more and more, and I don't like the looks of some of the nuts perched on the limbs. I'm sure there is a high danger of one or more falling and squishing something. I wonder if I can demand some sort of fencing be put up around the tree to protect my fellow felines from falling nuts?
Sunday, July 15, 2012
My troubles continue. Now the human believes she has found Cousin Fred! She saw a picture that she is sure is him as an adult, and now she's got an email in to the person who posted it asking questions. Oh, this can only lead to trouble, Finding Fred will surely lead to his brother Cousin Ernest, and probably to his sister Cousin Lucy too! I suggest people take shelter immediately, least a falling nut from that tree hits you.
Before the human could even try calling that church, she did a bit more poking online, and in a horrifying bit of news, she found that Cousin Elmer is dead! That awful relation just had to have an unusual name, making him easy to track down, and then he just had to go off and get himself captured and killed in World War II, which made it easy to find the rest of his annoying, annoying family in Louisiana. That terrible tree sprouted several new limbs with the happy news of the marriage of several of Cousin Elmer's siblings. A falling nut warning should go into effect right away.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Since the rain has trapped the human indoors, and has made getting to the archive difficult, the human has developed another plan. She is going to call a church tomorrow, right after Sunday sermon, to see if they have any records of Cousin Hugh. Nothing good can result from this, absolutely nothing. If this church is helpful, it will only make the human want to VISIT and it's right down the road from the country cottage! Now I must somehow sabotage the phone too, before the bunnies can offer to dial the number for her!
Friday, July 13, 2012
The humans lagged home another fan today, and there was talk about how it would be so useful at the country cottage. Oh, I don't like this sort of talk at all! If they're getting fans for that cottage, it makes me fear greatly that a visit is being planned! I just escaped a visit only yesterday! I can't be threatened with the country again so soon! Does anyone know how to sabotage a fan?
Thursday, July 12, 2012
The grandhuman vetoed the bunnies' plot to spend the night in the country, claiming it was raining too much. Really, this is the first good turn that the rain has done me. All it has done until now is added the bunnies' gardening plans, but if it has now saved me from capture and a country trip, I will welcome it.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
I heard something alarming just a bit ago. The human was chatting with the bunnies, and she was talking once more about how much she enjoyed her last visit to the country and how much she would like to go back. Sniff, sniff, sniff. So the bunnies suggested going again in a day or so. A day or so! That isn't enough time for me to find a hiding place!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
I must sabotage the bus right away. The human found another annoying batch of relations who have had the nerve to die, and she is wanting to go to the archives to hunt down their obituaries. Really, those people should be totally ashamed of themselves. Don't they have the least bit of common sense? And it will be just my luck they will have left extensive obituaries too. Anyway, I'm thinking about risking it and recruiting one of Nick the Cat's relations to stroll around the location where the buses are dispatched from. Surely if one of those cats walked in front of all of the drivers, it would be enough to save me from the human researching that tree more.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Really, I ought to sue all of the human's relations for the trouble they are causing me. I'm almost afraid to sleep now, since it seems every time I turn around that human is adding a new branch to her horrible, awful tree. My napping has been disturbed horribly and I am very sure that keeping a kitty from sleep violates some sort of law. I don't know what I am going to do. Now Cousin Gladys had the nerve to die, and Cousin Virginia too. And I won't even get into the LIVING relative the human is chatting with on Facebook!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
I am a nice cat. I don't know why I must continue to be punished like this. I really don't. I think I'll have to move under the table. Surely I will be safe from nuts falling off the tree under there. Now Cousin Sandra has died, and left an obituary with information the human can use to CALL her survivors! And, oh horrors, Cousin Edward is dead as well, and now Cousin Audrey too. What are these people thinking, having the nerve to die, and then having the nerve to place an obituary in the newspaper? It would serve them right if a nut fell of the tree and smashed their tombstone!
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Horrors, horrors, horrors! Someone call the authorities at once! Oh, you won't believe this, and someone should be arrested for this right away! The human was poking a bit a the family tree in preparation for a possible archive trip next week and you won't believe what she found. Cousin Irene is DEAD! She is dead and she left an obituary detailing the names and information on her THIRTEEN children! Thirteen of them, and then her daughter, Cousin Patti, had the nerve to die too, and leave an obituary as well! The tree shot up several feet upon the human discovering this information! Doomed! We're doomed!
Friday, July 6, 2012
The bunnies didn't go to the country today, but I'm almost wishing they had now. Instead, they amused themselves helping the humans with opening the POOL! I was hoping the humans would forget about opening that thing this year, I really was, but after the storm that someone danced up, the cover was damaged and there was no choice. It's filling with the last of the water now. This is going to be a disaster. All that pool does is attract penguins, and provides a place for the bunnies to splash about between gardening. Only disaster will result from it being open. I think I just spotted my penguin siblings with paper for constructing party invitations too! Do you know how disruptive a penguin party is?
Thursday, July 5, 2012
It's just terrible. My poor, poor fur is all sweaty! We had a power failure just a bit ago, and once more the house ended up roasting! This time the lack of air was due to a storm. I swear if I find that the bunnies danced up this bad weather while celebrating their impending country visit, I will make them pay. I don't know how I will ever get my fur back into shape, and what if some other cat sees me and thinks I got sweaty from WORK?
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Once more people are celebrating the birth of our country by trying to blow parts of it up, and by ruining my napping too. Really, there should be some sort of law against this, blowing things up in a cat residence zone! And did you know that the bunnies can roll their big ears up? They have them curled in buns, pinned to the top of their heads, so the noise isn't bothering them at all!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Really, we must live in the most careless part of town. The bunnies have now drafted their friends the squirrels into hunting down change to be used for books. Have you ever seen a squirrel dragging a sack larger than them, with the tail included, up the sidewalk to be delivered? Apparently the squirrels searched the park, and under the slides and swings were a goldmine of loose change, that had escaped the care of various children. What where those children thinking? Do they want to see me drug away to the country so the human can go book shopping?
Monday, July 2, 2012
Rotten rabbits. You won't believe what they have done this time. First, they hopped out this morning with the human for breakfast, and while the human was finishing her meal, the bunnies amused themselves searching the parking lot for change. Apparently a lot of humans had been rather careless, for they returned with a nice sack. A sack, and they intend to donate the money to the human for book purchases! A country trip in in the offing for sure, with the bunnies offering that cash and the wonderful book sale the human found going on. I'm doomed! I wonder if I have time to order a disguise so no one will recognize me?
Sunday, July 1, 2012
The human is no help against my fast approaching doom. Really, I'm not sure why I have human servants if they aren't able to do a better job, keeping the bunnies in line, and preventing them from going through with their plots to drag me off to the country. Honestly, the human might as well encourage the bunnies. She's talking about all of the fun she had the last country visit, reading a ton of books, and the wonderful book sale she found up there too. And of course the bunnies are encouraging this, and are even offering to provide more books for her reading pleasure so she'll want to go up there again. They've offered money for her to use at the book sale! Woe is me! Some foolish person is selling books for five cents! You know that will attract the human, especially if the bunnies are paying!