Thursday, May 31, 2012

Cousin Edward

More awful news. The human found Cousin Edward on the census, and his son, Cousin Edward Jr. and even worse, Cousin Edward Jr's offspring, who he amused himself giving an unusual first name which will simplify tracking her down. Sniff, sniff, sniff! The tree is GROWING! And I don't like the way some of those nuts on the top of the tree are looking either. I'm sure they're going to fall and squish something. Oh, and the human found Cousin Edward's sister, Cousin Harriet, too, and her offspring and their offspring as well. So much tree growth!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Sue the Mormons!

I must sue the Mormon Church right away. Really, I don't know why those people aren't up to their necks already in lawsuits for encouraging the growth of family trees. Really, with how fond they are if encouraging those things, one would think they were relations of the gardening obsessed bunnies. Oh, you won't believe what they have done this time, though. They have amused themselves indexing the 1940 census for Kansas! Kansas where the human has a ton of relations! Sniff, sniff, sniff. Thanks to those horrible, awful people, she has already found the married name of Cousin Doris! Cousin Doris! Finding her married name can only lead to finding obituaries, and then to tracking down her offspring. Oh, sniff, sniff, sniff! And Cousin Doris couldn't be bothered to marry someone with a common name like Smith or Brown either, but picked someone with the most unusual name possible, with means the human thinks tracking her family down will be a breeze! We're doomed!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Jammies Update

The human continues with her rabbit dressing. She's been going on and on about how soft the bunny jammies are, and how comfortable, and now she's talking about how they would be the perfect attire for the COUNTRY! She wants to wear them up there! I have never been so humiliated in my life. How will I ever explain it if any country kitties see her, dressed in rabbit-lovers' attire?

Monday, May 28, 2012

New Bunny

There is a new bunny on the loose. Really, he was probably attracted to the neighborhood by the human's bunny jammies or something, for he showed up right after she put them on. My bunny siblings looked out a window this afternoon and spotted this bunny, hopping about the back yard, checking out their garden work. Just perfect. Another gardening rabbit, and he's a smaller bunny too, so I'm sure he's young, and undoubtedly has bunny parents and a ton of rabbit siblings in his burrow! So now there will be more bunnies, to loiter in the backyard, garden and party with my siblings! What did I do to deserve this? Do you know how annoying bunny parties are?

Sunday, May 27, 2012


The local pizza place is still offering an all-you-can-eat salad bar for some reason. Do you think I should alert someone that loons are obviously running free? Those humans would have to be out of their minds to offer such a thing anywhere near my bunny siblings. The human let them hop out there with her, and once more they cleared the entire thing out, along with all of the veggie lovers pizza. Okay, I can kind of see the though behind having the salad there, to lure bunnies in, but still, surely those people know how much salad bunnies can eat! To allow them to stuff themselves silly for one low price seems like the worst possible financial decision.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Horrors! Oh, Horrors!

A nightmarish horror hit this morning, I am afraid. The human went out, in the company of a couple of bunnies, for breakfast, and then she popped by the store. And you won't believe what she had with her when she returned! Bunny pajamas! And I'm not talking about pajamas for the rabbits to wear, with a hole in the seat for their cotton tails. These are human sized jammies, with cartoon bunnies all over them! What in the world am I going to do if anyone sees the human in them? They will know she's a bunny supporter, and I will be humiliated! Why, oh why, couldn't she have bought the kitten jammies instead?

Friday, May 25, 2012

Movie Update

That poor, poor movie theater. Really, you would think by now they would know better than to offer all you can eat popcorn deals, though. They are located in the same town as Betsy Bear, after all. Needless to say, that bear took full advantage of the popcorn deal when the human went to the movies today, and managed to completely clear the snack bar out. I do hope that the people who were there for the evening showings didn't want anything to munch on. And, to make matters worse, the human wants to return to watch the movie again, and you know Betsy will go along. That poor, poor theater. They will never be able to feed anyone else popcorn again!

Thursday, May 24, 2012


The human wants to attend a movie tomorrow. At least it isn't a bunny movie. I am trying to console myself with that fact, but despite the fact that it isn't starring a rabbit, my bunny siblings still want to attend with the human. And some of the bears are wanting to go as well. I'm sure the human will agree too. She would probably let my siblings get away with murder if they liked. I do hope that theater is insured. The bunnies are sure to splash carrot soda everywhere, and Betsy Bear will undoubtedly rob the snack bar for everything they have.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Swiss

Really, the Swiss should be totally ashamed of themselves. Why in the world weren't they making chocolate and producing bird style clocks instead of what they have gotten up to, supplying the bunnies with vegetable seed, seed that I am sure is very aggressive and vicious. Honestly, those seeds even look vicious with little pointy spikes all over them, sure to damage a paw if accidentally stepped upon, and now they mass of Swiss Chard is sprouting in the garden, and sprouting in frightening, alarming, horrifying numbers! The bunnies will probably be able to fill a bed with that alone. Really, the Swiss should be ashamed of themselves, and don't think I won't let the neighbors know which country is to blame if they are attacked by those plants!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Horrible! Awful! Nightmarish!

Oh, you won't believe this! The bunnies have found another place that is giving away FREE seed! I can't believe this. Don't these places know better, and would you believe they don't require proof of lack of floppy ears and a fuzzy cotton tail or anything? I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this business was some sort of subsidiary of the Department of Rabbitculture! Or possibly it's ran by rabbits. Anyway, the bunnies are demanding that I get off-line so they can request their seed right away. Really, they should be ashamed of themselves. What in the world will become of our neighbors if the bunnies get more seed?

Monday, May 21, 2012


The human took a couple of the bunnies to that funeral this evening, to assist in entertaining children. Betsy begged to go as well, since she heard a baby that she was sure would be in possession of candy, would be there, but luckily the human vetoed that. Anyway, the bunnies had a lovely time, watching videos starring our mouse sibling's cousin, and getting hugs. Did you know bunnies love hugging. The oddest thing I've ever heard of. And, to make matters worse, to reward them for their assistance, the human purchased a pack of SEED, table queen squash, as a reward!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

You Know

You know, I've been doing a bit of thinking, while awaiting the next horror that the rabbits are planning to inflict. I have a number of polar bear sisters, and they have cub offspring, but there are no boy polar bears in the area. So, where did these cubs come from?

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Doomed! Doomed!! DOOMED!!!

Oh, the horrors that I have seen today. A former neighbor died, and the humans had to go to the funeral home, but first they had to stop by the store to get a plant to take. The bunnies offered to hop along, and help with lagging the plant out to the car. I knew I should have been suspicious. Letting them near vegetation is never a good idea, but never did I dream that things would end like this. They got the plant at the local grocery, you see, and the floral section just happens to be right near the seed sale! While the clerk was putting a ribbon on the plant, and sprucing up its pot, the bunnies did a bit of shopping. They had a large sack of seed packets when they hopped home. Here's what they got; another giant pack of beans, a pack of pumpkin, three packs of cucumbers, a pack of watermelon, three packs of cherry tomatoes, four packs of beefsteak tomatoes, a pack of table queen squash, four packs of yellow squash, two packs of zucchini, a pack of cantaloupe and a pack of peppers. We are doomed! And there is still plenty more seed left, so I'm sure they'll go shopping again soon!

Friday, May 18, 2012


Someone call the authorities! I demand that relation who had the nerve to die be persecuted right away! We are all doomed, and it is all her fault! First, the bunnies went hopping to the store to get goodies to feed the bereaved canines. They found a lovely deal, and lagged it out to the dogs right away. Needless to say, the dogs have decided that the bunnies are their new best friends forever. Unfortunately, though, the dog goodies weren't the only things the bunnies got a deal on. The store was also having a SEED SALE! They came hopping back with a giant pack of bean seed, two packs each of cucumber, beefsteak tomato and table queen squash seed and a pack of California Wonder peppers. And, as if the bunnies' activities weren't bad enough, the human decided the cheer herself over this death by poking at the family tree and she just found a mass of relatives! The horrible, awful tree is growing!

Thursday, May 17, 2012


I'm afraid that my postings might be delayed for a bit, although I will try to keep up. The humans just had a death in the family, though, so they might get the idea to limit my computer time. And the bunnies have the idea, too, that we ought to offer to host the canines of the grieving relations during this time, so I might be facing that as well.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012


The bunnies stayed in today, something that would normally be considered good, but unfortunately, they stayed in and spent their time checking their seed supplies, to plot what they want to plant next. Our poor, poor neighbors. The bunnies are planning to hop out tomorrow morning, bright and early, to plant more packets of seed. Really, I don't like the look of those plants on the packets at all. More zucchini and cucumbers, and I'm sure they'll throw in about a million watermelon seed too. I'll have nightmares about the vegetables tonight, I am sure of it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

More Planting

More seeds were poked out today, I am very sorry to say. Do you think I ought to go ahead and plan a small going away party for our neighbors? Goodness knows they aren't going to be here too much longer at this rate. The bunnies poked out butternut squash, roma tomatoes, a jumbo pack of zucchini, two packs of cantaloupe, eggplant and Swiss chard. I had always heard the Swiss were cuckoo clock making pacifists, so I'm not sure why in the world they amused themselves selling things to the bunnies, but for some reason they did. I'm sure those plants are vicious. Oh, and to make matters worse, the rabbits gave me the happy news that the pumpkins look like they're getting second leaves, and the watermelon are as well. Doomed. We are all DOOMED!

Monday, May 14, 2012

At Least they Stayed in Today

At least the bunnies stayed in today. That's something to be thankful for. I'm not sure if I like what they've been doing while they've been staying in though. They've got a giant pad of paper, and pencils in vegetable colors, and are drawing garden maps! Do you suppose I ought to alert our neighbors, whose homes are marked down as the future residence of the cucumbers, pumpkins and the vicious watermelon? I'm sure they didn't agree to this plan of the bunnies, to allow the plants to take over their residence!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Help! Police!

Does anyone know the number for the law enforcement division that deals with rabbits? I have to call them right away and file a complaint. The bunnies got on the human's computer today and sent out a message, pretending to be her, trying to find those pallets that are needed to construct their plant beds! What in the world am I going to do? When the rabbits went out this afternoon to raid the pizza place's salad bar, and to eat all of the veggie lovers' pizza on the buffet, they found a good deal on topsoil. All they need is the pallets to get things started!

Saturday, May 12, 2012


On the up side, I wasn't captured and drug off to the country today, but with what happened, I almost wish I had been. Really, this day has almost been too horrible to put into words, but I suppose I should try. First the bunnies rode up to the country with the humans this morning, bright and early. Since they didn't try to capture me and stuff me in the car to go and be forced to dust under the beds, I was okay with this. Little did I know that what happened would be worse than being made to dust. First, the humans passed a church having a sale, and the bunnies convinced them to stop since it was a Presbunterian church, the most rabbit friendly religion around. Horrible place that it is, they sold the bunnies more decorations for the booksigning table, decorations shaped like RABBITS! And then, as if bunny decorations weren't bad enough, the human happened by the local homeless shelter too, and who was waiting them but a bear, a pup and a monkey, who all pounced on her and begged to move in. 727 siblings! I thought that was a plane, not a horror. And then when the humans, bunnies and new relations returned, because the monkey needed to do laundry, the bunnies had three pepper plants and a new pack of pepper seed with them! And, to top things off, after they poked out the plants, they came hopping in to give me the happy news that the seed they put out last week are SPROUTING!

Friday, May 11, 2012

As if the Country isn't Bad Enough

As if the plot to drag me to the country isn't bad enough, now the bunnies have worked out what they are sure is the perfect way to open up more garden space, since a plow doesn't seem to be forthcoming to clear it. They're going to get more of those pallets and use them to make flat beds for their plants as well as making the upright beds! Do you know how much more garden space that will give them? They've done the math, and they're sure they can put a good ten pallets along the inside of the fence, in what they call the wasted space next to the pool, and they bet they can get way more than ten pallets in the upper yard. Oh, and they found the landscape fabric they need to construct these beds too, at a very cheap price. Can I sue the Dollar Store for offering the bunnies such a deal? I'm sure they're going to try to drag me out soon, to lag the pallets home so they can start to work on this project!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Country Fast Approaches

The weekend, and thus the human's plans to visit the country, are fast approaching. Oh, woe is me! What did I do so wrong to deserve capture and vegetable exposure? My one slight hope is that the grandhuman mentioned possibly allowing me to stay at home, but that could end badly too. The last time I was left alone for any length of time, my food dish ended up empty along with both back-ups. At least if that happened, with the bunnies in the country, I wouldn't be facing vegetables, but it would be just my luck that the monkeys would offer to fill my dish with BANANAS! Really, this weekend is shaping up to be a total disaster!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Country Threat Continues

The threat to go to the country is continuing. I heard the bunnies chatting about it a bit ago, and, I am sure issuing seating assignments for the ride up! Horrors! I know they've got me on their seating list somewhere, fastened in a seatbelt between two rabbits! Really, I don't know what in the world I'm going to do. The humans seem all fired determined to spend Mother's Day up there for some reason, which makes me very much afraid that I won't be able to escape the trip. I'll bet the bunnies already have plans to try to use this as part of their plot to convert me to vegetarianism, too!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Country Again

I heard the human talking a bit ago, and that threat to visit the country this weekend is still in full force. Really, what in the world am I going to do, to try to prevent this? I tried causing a series of disasters around the house, hoping that it would make the humans have to devote all of their time to cleaning, but thus far that's not working. The bunnies just hop behind me, pick things up and glare. They're threatening to get the carrots out now to keep me in line, and to prevent me from ruining their plans for a country visit. What in the world am I going to do? The carrots they have a particularly pointy this time, and are sure to be painful when used as weapons.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Worse than the Country

The human and the bunnies didn't go to the country cottage today, but where they went was so alarming that I almost wish they had visited there instead. The human had to go by the food co-op, that den of rabbit encouragement, and the bunnies hopped along. They returned with a giant sack, full of seed all ready to poke into those pallets, the second they get the beds put together. And there is even worse news. I suggest you send all small children away now before they can be terrified by this. I will wait.

Are they gone? If any children remain, and have nightmares tonight, remember, I warned you. The bunnies talked to someone at the co-op about ordering pumpkin seed. They just have the shelled kind in their bins at the moment, but the bunnies need the kind still in the shell. They've requested a special order. A special order that will likely require them to purchase at least a half pound of seed, if not a full pound. Do you know how many pumpkin seed are in a pound? We will never see our neighbors again! This entire section of the state will become nothing but a giant pumpkin patch! We're DOOMED!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Monday Plans

I just heard something frightening when I was strolling past the human's room. The bunnies were lounging on her bed, and I heard them talking about possibly going to the country cottage tomorrow, to fix things up in anticipation of a weekend visit. They were even talking about dragging me along, and I'm sure they already have a dust cloth with my name on it! I have to find a hiding place right away, although with the number of rabbits in this house, I'm not sure where there might be a place that they wouldn't be able to trap me. And what in the world will I do if they do go to the country this weekend? I'm sure they'll want me to spend the entire time trotting around to visit other rabbits, and probably those squirrels too, and there will be only vegetables to eat!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Continuing Bed Construction Plans

For anyone who likes horror, you can see a demonstration of how to convert pallets into plant beds here. I wouldn't look unless you're in to horror, though, for I can promise you that the thing is truly, truly frightening. The bunnies have been busy all day, trying to work out how many pallets they will need, to cover the fence with plant beds. Oh, this will be a nightmare, I am sure of it! They're planning to poke beans in there, and cucumbers, and pumpkins, and I'm sure the aggressive, expansionistic watermelon plants too. I'm sure I will have nightmares tonight, thinking of it. As soon as they finish with the math, working out the number of flats required, they plan to grab me and drag me off to the store, to start gathering pallets for the assembly line!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Bed Construction Plans

I shall sue the paper. That is what I have to do right away. The bunnies are all fired up about the plan they found in that horrible, awful newspaper, for building plant beds that can be leaned against a fence, or the side of a house. They're sure this will triple or possibly quadruple their plant space, especially if the houses that they lean these beds against happen to belong to our poor, misfortunate neighbors. The bunnies have noticed on their many trips out, that the local paint store has many of the pallets that the plan calls for to assemble these beds, so now they are wanting to go down there, with the wagon, to drag a pile back. And who do you think they have down to help pull this wagon? ME!

Thursday, May 3, 2012


The first plants and seeds went out into the bunnies' garden today. Doomed. We are all doomed! The put out two tomato and pepper plants and then they amused themselves planting packs of sugar pumpkin seed, jalepeno pepper seed, cucumber seed, super marmande tomato seed, rutgers tomato seed, two packs of watermelon seed, table queen squash seed and what is the worst vegetable of all, CARROT seed! And they're just getting started with planting too. I'm sure they're going to want to hop out tomorrow to poke out more packs of seed. Right now they've got them in one bed, waiting until they sprout and get a decent size, and then they'll spread them out. The horrible newspaper has given them ideas, too, for how to construct more beds to house their plants. I see nothing but trouble looming.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Stayed In

Miracle of miracles, the bunnies stayed in today. Of course, that's probably because the human didn't go out, but still, I will take what good news I can get. Goodness knows that the bad news is alarming enough. I've heard much talk about the country of late, and a possible visit to the country, either within the next couple of days, or for the weekend, to celebrate Mother's Day. Honestly, what about that holiday calls for torturing a cat by dragging them off to the country and vegetable exposure?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Went Out Again

The bunnies went out again. Perhaps I ought to go ahead and give up on trying to prevent them from hopping out. At least if they're out riding around with the human, that means that there are fewer rabbits here, to harass me about working, and to dig up the yard for gardening purposes. Hmmmm. Maybe I should be shoving those bunnies out the door! Did you know they were talking about bringing a relative who owns a plow to get their garden dug? Nothing good can result from that. I wonder if I offered them bus fare if they might be interested in a long trip?