Thursday, April 29, 2010
The rabbits emailed me a bit ago, to let me know they're ready to start terrorizing people with promotions for those rabbit books tomorrow. There's even a farmer's market just a short ride away, to provide the bunnies with more encouragement. Honestly, I have never been so glad to be in jail in my life. Who knows what will happen once the rabbits get going? They say they have already approached one author, and they are sure to chat up more first thing in the morning! What if they get someone before they've had their morning coffee, and the person agrees to buy the books?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The alibi seems to be working out well so far. At least I can't be blamed for the antics of the rabbits, who are plotting to hop all over some writing thing, helping the human hand out cards advertising those nightmarish stories of hers. The bunnies have even speculated on the possibility of giving away seeds, just to get more attention. I don't want to think of the trouble that sound cause if they do it. My one worry about this alibi, though, is the fact that the humans ordered a clawacure for me while I'm here. Really, I like my claws just the way they are, thank you very much. Does anyone know how I can cancel this procedure? Perhaps I can poke in the computer, and delete a few entries.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I am happy to announce that I am getting a shiny alibi for the upcoming antics of Betsy and the bunnies. They're planning who knows what horrors to try to sell their books, so I'm off to jail! Thank goodness, I will now have a nice alibi for their crimes, and can't be held accountable for what I'm sure they're going to do. I can't wait. Do you think I should demand the warden sign a check sheet each day, so I'll have proof I was there, and innocent?
The human just finished her synopsis sheet for the teddy mystery series, and all I can say is how alarmed I am at the number of times my name appears on this sheet. The teddies claim that they're just wanting to reward me for being such a good sibling, by getting me a book part, but I know better. They want me as an accessory to their book crimes! If I appear in a book with Betsy, I'm sure the law will hold me responsible for that terrible bear as her accomplice! The human should be ashamed.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I wonder if I should start a countdown to the upcoming doom of those poor bears who live up in the mountains? Betsy Bear just checked the calender, and realized that the human is due to trot up there in a few weeks to visit the cemeteries for Decoration. And naturally, when you let my human loose in a cemetery, with all of those graves and relatives, she can't be trusted to keep that delinquent bear in line. I've found pages on Mapquest, marking the best routes to those poor mountain bears' dens, so that Betsy can rob them of all their food. She's even plotting hunting down a few extra cemeteries for the human, just to keep her distracted, and give her more time to rob those poor bears. I do hope they have their dens insured.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The human went out today, and when she came back, she had a flyer with her from the store, advertising a contest for my kind, with a hundred dollar prize. This is the same store that sells seed at discount prices and encourages bunny delinquency. Naturally, the rabbits fell all over, trying to check the flyer out, and now they're looking suspiciously at me, commenting on what they could do to beautify me, and how many seed 100 dollars would buy. I did the math! It would buy 400 packs at current seed prices. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can avoid this contest? If I take part, I'll surely end up as an accessory to gardening!
The human got business cards to advertise her books today. I wonder if I ought to arrange to get some business cards too, in response, saying that I am not to blame for the actions of my siblings? She got the cards in a lovely green color, that is sure to remind the rabbits of vegetables, and will only encourage them. I'm trying not to think of how Betsy will be encouraged.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
The human is continuing in her horrible encouragement of those bunnies. She ought to be ashamed! Now she's working on getting synopses done of all of her ideas for the rabbit series, in preparation for shopping them around. What in the world am I going to do? The bunnies are sure to get even more encouraged when they see everything put together like that!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The human's feeling better, and in a bit of bad news for me, she made this recovery just in time to chat with a new cousin. I have never been so alarmed in my life. And she's hoping to find other cousins through him, too, which is such a horrible sign that I don't even want to think of it. I really should find a way to block Facebook. I'm sure that it is going to lead to giant amounts of trouble over that awful tree.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
The human went to the country today, and took that delinquent Betsy with her, along with a bunny. I don't even want to imagine what trouble they might have managed to get into, because goodness knows, the human can't be trusted to supervise them. The poor country. I do hope they have lots of insurance up there. Their only hope is that some relation of poor Farmer Turley is running for sheriff. I just hope he is doing in on a strong bear and rabbit control platform.
Friday, April 16, 2010
The human has done it this time. She has tracked down a batch of new cousins via Facebook! This can only encourage the growth of that horrible, horrible family tree, which is sure to be a disaster. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can block Facebook before the human uses it to track down more alarming numbers of relations? I'm sure finding them will lead to reunions, and selling of various family books, which will likely end up with me being put to work licking and stamping envelopes. Do you know how bad the glue on envelopes tastes?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
The rabbits got a package in the mail today, and you won't believe the horror it held! Someone sent them a batch of grape starts for planting out in the garden. Does anyone have any ideas about the potential invasive qualities of the grape? Since it was delivered to the bunnies, I can only imagine these plants are bad news. The rabbits never request any plants that aren't troublemakers. Right now they're camped out around the box, debating where to plant.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Please remember our neighbors, for they are doomed. The human is now on chapter two of the bear story, and needless to say, Betsy has been encouraged in alarming ways, and is planning frightening amounts of crimes for what she claims is research. Then the human started a new rabbit story and is already halfway through the first chapter. You don't want to know how the bunnies took that happy news. Our poor, poor neighbors. I just hope they are insured for writing.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
The poor, poor neighbors. I don't know how in the world I am ever going to break this to them, but the human is making plans for submitting one of those stories of rabbit horror. What in the world will become of our neighbors should she find someone to buy and publish it? It will surely encourage my bunny siblings to greater heights of rabbit delinquency, and gardening horrors. I think I might need to steal the ink from her printer before it is too late.
Monday, April 12, 2010
The human made the Facebook group, like I was afraid she was going to do. Now she's just got to send the announcement to all of her cousins, and then have them post to other cousins. I hate to think of how far this horrible thing could go, and it's sure to add more alarming branches to that tree of hers. Facebook should be ashamed! Isn't it bad enough that they encourage rabbit gardening? Now they're helping with that awful tree!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
I think this is a bad, bad sign. I caught Betsy Bear looking at the human's maps today and taking notes. I just know she is plotting out a route to travel once she gets her paws on that bear sized car. She's even been poking around at Walmarts online to see if she can have it shipped to get it faster. I would suggest if you had plans to drive anywhere, you do it soon, because soon the highways are going to be a disaster area. I can just see it now, with that bear zooming around, fleeing crimes, loaded down with loot. And the polar bears aren't helping. They're making plans to ask her to drive them about to get wool for quilts. I do hope everyone is okay with becoming pedestrians. That's the only way you will be safe soon.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
I blame Cousin Margie, who had the audacity to die three years ago for my current troubles. The human found her obituary just yesterday, and of course it was nice a detailed, adding alarming amounts of limbs onto that horrible family tree of hers. Really, couldn't that cousin have taken better care of her health, or if she had to schedule her demise, couldn't she have found a way to hide her obituary first? Now the human has information on her siblings, and is determined to hunt them down too, and add a few more limbs. There is even talk of setting up a family page on Facebook, so she can guide new cousins, and make plans for horrible family activities. I don't want to think of how all of this is going to cut into my computer time. She ought to be ashamed!
I would like to issue a warning to all of the drivers out there of an upcoming highway disaster. Betsy Bear has found out that Walmarts is selling a bear sized vehicle. and now she is making plans for the purchase of a get-away car. I think you can imagine the dangers that she will pose, zipping down the highway, fleeing the scenes of her crimes. If you drive. I urge to to look into becoming a pedestrian now before it is too late. Betsy might soon be on a road near you!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The new rabbit came hopping in today, which is probably a record for a rabbit's arrival. Obviously the head bunny put her on a deluxe flight or something. Just my luck. And you won't believe how fond this rabbit is of gardening, too. Her name is even Blossom, which doesn't seem like a good sign at all. She's been chattering with the other bunnies about pumpkin blossoms, and squash blossoms, and horror of horror, cucumber blossoms. I think I might need to trot down to the neighbors' house, to tell them goodbye soon, for they are surely doomed.
The human's little farm is having some sort of campaign to chose a new animal, and I would like to urge all of my readers to go here and vote for the sheep by fanning them right away. I know it might sound crazy with the polar bears and their wool obsession, but if they have sheep to tend on the computer, maybe it will prevent them from harassing flocks of sheep around here. Not to mention, if they're distracted with a farm full of sheep, it might keep them from getting bad ideas from the fourth volume of the human's books. So vote for the sheep today!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I think I need to start looking for a nice hiding place. The human got a book from that horrid person who came up with the month of writing horrors, designed to encourage nightmarish amounts of writing. She just thought up a twist, too, for the bear book that she's working on, that I'm sure will get that plot flying. I don't want to think of what the encouragement will do to Betsy. Isn't it bad enough how she gets encouraged by her appearances in the childrens' books?
Monday, April 5, 2010
I'm surrounded by horror is all that i can say. The human is amusing herself multi-tasking, working on those awful novels of hers, and poking at the family tree at the same time. She thinks she's got something worked out, that will no doubt make that tree grow to a frightening size. She should be ashamed. And then there's the encouragement she's giving not only the bunnies but Betsy Bear too. I'm sure there's a law somewhere about encouraging Betsy Bear, or if there isn't, there should be. The human's hoping to get a chapter done tonight, and I'm sure it will just inspire that bear to rob someone to celebrate.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The head rabbit arrived, and even though he lost a nightmarish number of baskets and candy to Betsy, he still seemed fairly happy. My bunny siblings showed him all of their gardening plans and seed collections, and they were given alarming amounts of praise for their bunny industry. To make matters even worse, the head bunny said they were doing so well that he left another bunny to assist them, and he's made arrangements for a second bunny to arrive soon to offer further help. Our neighbors are doomed.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
The head rabbit will be hopping around in just a few hours, and you don't want to know how excited my bunny siblings are about his arrival. They're all running around, making preparations, and getting vegetables together to greet him, and getting seed packets out so that he can see how industrious they plan to be in the upcoming gardening season. What if the Easter Bunny is very impressed, and rewards them with a large basket full of seeds for all of this? Maybe I ought to offer up a prayer that those rabbit snares that Betsy Bear laid out, to try to get her paws on his baskets, work?
Friday, April 2, 2010
The human hasn't managed more writing so far today, thank goodness. I don't like the way that she keeps looking at me, though, and then looking at her soda like she is trying to figure out why the caffeine didn't keep her from sleeping in all day. She has no proof I sabotaged those drinks, none what so ever! I just hope I can get the tops off of the rest when she goes back to sleep again, and she doesn't get wise and switch to cans.
The human did it. She started another tale of teddy terror this morning. I was hoping it was all an April Fool's joke, but it's looking like it isn't. I suggest everyone run for their lives now. I just know this story is going to encourage Betsy to go on a crime spree. Really, doesn't the human know better by now?