Monday, December 31, 2012


If anyone like the bunnies ask, I was online this morning. I was online, and certainly wasn't loitering in the floor, possibly causing the human to stumble, turn her ankle, and nearly end up falling on top of a batch of rabbits. Now the human is sitting propped in bed, ice on ankle, and the bunnies are looking suspiciously at the floor, and anyone who might have been on the floor at the time of this ankle injury. Well, if they want to look at me, I was happily online at the time, and had nothing to do with it! And at least the human's injury kept the polar bears and bunnies home today, and safely away from any shopping trips to buy annoying things for me.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Shopping Tomorrow

The bunnies are going to hop out tomorrow, in search of various items to feed me. I wonder if I should be looking for a hiding place tonight? The problem is, with my tummy fur missing, and the heater acting up, the places that I can use as shelter are limited. Right now I'm limited to my cage, since it has a blanket, and my box house, that is also blanketed. Both will make it very easy for the bunnies to find me when they want to start stuffing me with horrible foods.

Saturday, December 29, 2012


It's snowing! Oh, horrors, it is snowing! I will see the weatherman persecuted for this! The snow is flying fast and furious, and I am very concerned. The polar bears arranged to have my tummy fur stolen when it was just a bit nippy. I will be lucky to dodge being completely shaved with snow flying. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to protect myself from fur theft?

Friday, December 28, 2012


Does anyone know the potential evil of the mushroom? The bunnies have gathered two votes from medical professionals in favor of stuffing me with them. Okay, it's better than one of the bunnies' other plans to stuff me with carrot juice, but I'm still not sure mushrooms are a good idea. What are mushrooms anyway? They look suspiciously vegetable like to me, but I didn't find them listed on a vegetable warning page.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Tummy Fur Theft

I'm back, and I absolutely must find a lawyer to sue that vet for stealing my fur right away. I know he took it, and sold it to the polar bears to be stuffed into a quilt. My polar bear sisters are always talking about how warm looking my fur is. They probably called while the humans' backs were turned, and offered the vet cash for a large hunk of tummy fur. That's my best fur and I was robbed of it. I know I saw someone at the vet's office with a soda from that company who supplies the bears with cash. If that isn't proof they're in league with the polar bears, I don't know what is!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Still the Bunnies

It's still the bunnies. Our brother is feeling much grumpier today and is digging through the phone book now looking for an attorney to sue the vet for robbing him of a sizable hunk of tummy fur. While he's doing that we thought we would post and update you. We've done some looking and chatting with others, and we have many wonderful ideas for possible cures for him. The human is feeling much better after we lounged on the bed last night telling her all of our ideas. We think tomorrow we'll hop out to start gathering cure materials. And isn't it just such a coincidence that all of the materials we need are located near the food co-op, which our brother calls that den of seed encouragement?

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Our Brother's Problem

It's the bunnies. Our brother attacked the tree last night. He claims he was trying to save us all from Betsy Bear, but we aren't so sure of that. He got an upset tummy and got lagged to the vet today as a result. Unfortunately, the vet has now diagnosed him with a tumor. Our human has been in hysterics, and fur everywhere is being threatened by tears. Anyway, Sir Pinky is currently high for the moment on medication, so we are posting. And we are also looking for cures for him. Did you know that carrot juice is considered good for his problem? Isn't he just so lucky that he happens to live in a house full of rabbits!

Our Brother's Problem

It's the bunnies. Our brother attacked the tree last night. He claims he was trying to save us all from Betsy Bear, but we aren't so sure of that. He got an upset tummy and got lagged to the vet today as a result. Unfortunately, the vet has now diagnosed him with a tumor. Our human has been in hysterics, and fur everywhere is being threatened by tears. Anyway, Sir Pinky is currently high for the moment on medication, so we are posting. And we are also looking for cures for him. Did you know that carrot juice is considered good for his problem? Isn't he just so lucky that he happens to live in a house full of rabbits!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Lock your Chimneys!

Lock your chimneys! Lock them right away! Hurry before it is too late! Every household is in danger tonight! The new reindeer, who arrived last week, was giving some flying demonstrations to my other reindeer siblings, and the next thing you know, Betsy had a horrible idea in her head. She captured all of the reindeer, all five of them, and has them hitched up to a sleigh! She's going to take to the air at any moment to go on a crime spree to end all crime sprees! She has a rope to slide down the chimneys, and sacks to hold every cookie, pie cake and present she can get her paws on! We're doomed! Doomed, I tell you, doomed! Lock your chimneys now while you still have time!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Church Report

The humans actually let the squirrel ride in the front seat on the way to church this morning. Now everyone knows that there is a giant squirrel living here. How embarrassing! I was hoping to limit the number of people who knew about the squirrel, and now the humans might as well have taken out a billboard. And worse, the church did drop off those sacks, and now the squirrel is happily munching on some nut filled candy bars. They fed him too! If they're going to feed the squirrel, where is my sack of treats?

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Disaster Looms

Disaster looms tomorrow. Not only is that squirrel lurking, plotting to drag me to church, but now he came in to give me the happy news that for Christmas, the church is distributing large sacks of nuts to squirrels! He's expecting a sack tomorrow! Nothing good can result from that squirrel being gifted with nuts. It's sure to make him grow more, which will lead to a sure disaster! What is the church thinking, catering to squirrels this way? Really, are those bushy tailed troublemakers such wonderful parishioners?

Friday, December 21, 2012


The squirrel came trotting in just a bit ago, to tell me I should start scrubbing my fur now, in anticipation of going to CHURCH on Sunday! I'm going to be drug off, and forced to listen first to a bunch of humans attempting to sing, and then to a sermon. And I'll probably end up with a new batch of siblings too, since apparently churches have decided to solve the homeless creature problem by having them move in here. Sniff, sniff, sniff! And now the squirrel is listening to church music and insisting I listen to the squirrel church anthem as well! Isn't there a law against such torture?

Thursday, December 20, 2012

More Bad Luck

Nick the Cat's relations are around here somewhere. I haven't seen their evil black tails poking up yet, but I know they are in the area, and they should be arrested at once. I am sure they are to blame for the coming disaster. There are wind advisories out for the area, and do you know where the wind is blowing from? It is blowing from the home of the BEARS! It is a plot, I am sure of it. The bears are probably getting ready to launch little balloons now, to blow them right to my dwelling, where they will be enthusiastically welcomed! Who knows how many siblings this wind could give me? A floatilla of bears might be in the air at this moment, on their way here. Nick the Cat will pay!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Today's Bad Luck

I must check the bushes, for I am sure that one of Nick the Cat's relations is lurking nearby, due to the sudden upswing in bad luck. Really, it's too horrible to be believed. First, Cousin Don H. had the absolute, unmitigated nerve to die, and worse, to leave a nice fat obituary in the paper, just ready for the human to find and stick on that awful tree. And, even worse, when she was poking around, looking for more relation names for what I thought was the relatively safe task of package labeling, the human believes she might have stumbled onto yet another relation twist. I know I saw branches on that tree twitching. Not a good sign. It will surely start to grow next, and what if nuts start to drop from it?

Tail Adjustment

I'm back and you won't believe the trouble I am facing now. One of the bunnies and two of the reindeer herd rode to the human's chiropractor appointment this afternoon, and now they have got an awful notion in their fluffy heads. They think my tail is out of alignment, and that I should see a chiropractor right away to get it adjusted! My tail is perfectly aligned, I will have them know, and don't think I am not suspicious. All of them have short, fluffy little tails. I think they are plotting to have my long, slender tail adjusted into their tail style!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Josie Rabbit on Our Brother's Vet Visit

Hehehehehehe! Our brother was gloating over his vet visit, and the trouble he was planning to cause. Well, the joke is on him! The vet just put him on MEDICATION! He has to take two pills a day. Not only are we sure that they will be yucky and disgusting, but now because of this, he is doomed to have to travel everywhere we go. No more dodging trips to the country, and when it comes to visiting the birthplace of the bears, we're going to go ahead and book his seat! We're going to have so much fun with this! We must send the vet a thank you note right away!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Vet Appointment

I am booked for a vet appointment tomorrow. Normally I am annoyed by these things, but now I am kind of looking forward to it, after the success I had last visit. I wonder who I will be able to drive into fleeing the area this time? I'm thinking I will go for the blonde receptionist, who called me grumpy one visit. Tomorrow is going to be a lot of fun!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

More Bus Issues

The bus company continues to trouble me. Now the bunnies are studying the routes, trying to find the cheapest way to get to the birthplace of the bears, even if it means being on a bus for twenty-four hours straight. They say that will be fine. They'll have their carrots, and they will be perfectly content. Well, what about me? I refuse to share a public box with rabbits! They can't expect me to cross my paws for that long, and I know they will expect me to go on this trip with them!

Friday, December 14, 2012


The bunnies said it couldn't be done, but I am happy to announce that I have achieved the greatest feline success imaginable! I am happy to announce that the huffing and puffing stunt I pulled at the vet's office a few months ago did in fact manage to blow that vet away! Success! I don't know of another cat who has managed to blow a vet away. The bunnies all said that only the dogs' cousin, the wolf, could accomplish such a feat, but I showed them! Maybe I'll work on blowing away a building next. Or a bus stop!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Bear Birthplace

I'm doomed. I am really doomed this time. I'm such a nice cat. What did I ever do to deserve this? The bunnies are clustered in the human's room, along with the bears, discussing a visit to the bears' birthplace. They're trying to convince her that a visit there is sure to help sell those books she's written for children starring my delinquent teddy siblings. I think the human is listening to them, I really think she is, which worries me that such a trip, and massive sibling increases are looming in my future. And what if the bears can get free tickets to travel? They will surely expect me to go on the trip in such a case. I think it is ten hours to the home of the bears. Ten hours and the only litter box will be shared with BUNNIES!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Horrible Bus News

I am going to have to sue the bus company. That is all there is to it. You won't believe the horror they have came up with this time. Those awful, rotten people are GIVING away tickets! Free bus tickets! I think I feel ill. The bunnies are wanting to take a look online now, to plan another little trip while their travel is free. There is even talk about going to visit the birthplace of the bears! I don't want to visit the birthplace of the bears! Do you know how many siblings such a visit could net me? The bus company will pay for this!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Reindeer on a Bus

The reindeer was placed on a bus this evening, heading for our house. I expect she'll be here soon, although it will be my luck she will want to stop somewhere to shop first. All of my siblings and impending siblings seem to love shopping. I hope this reindeer wasn't one Santa needs, is all I can say. And if she is, I hope Santa won't hold her moving against me. It certainly wasn't my idea, and it also wasn't my idea for a bear to move along with her!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Rabbit Horde

The human let eleven bunnies hop out with her this afternoon, when she went to visit a lawyer. Why she needed to let the bunnies accompany her to a legal office is something I will never understand, but they have convinced her totally of the power of their feet to bring good luck, so they get a trip whenever she heads into any situation involving legal matters. They have her conned completely. Anyway, they came back chattering to themselves. Apparently they stopped at the homeless shelter looking to pick up one of my reindeer siblings' relations, only to find that they must make arrangements for her arrival via the internet, so now they are demanding I get off of here so they can by the deer a bus ticket to the house. And you know that they will insist that she doesn't travel alone so who knows how many siblings I might end up with soon!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Church Report

I narrowly dodged going to Suday Sermon this morning. That squirrel was all fired up about attending, and getting his name added to the membership rolls. I was sure he was going to grab me and insist upon my attending as well, but somehow I escaped. I don't think I will get that lucky next time, though. I spotted the squirrel digging out my leash when he returned from sermon, and I don't know what else he would need it for. I don't want to go to church! I'm sure there are homeless creatures just dying to move in there! And what if I am expected to tithe? I have no desire to turn over tuna!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

More Horrors from the Relative's Visit

I can't believe this. I finally got up the nerve to check what that relative brought for gifts, and you won't believe how horrifying the packages were. She brought a giant bowl of NUTS! NUTS! The squirrel has invaded my table and is busily munching on those right now. He's sure to grow bigger as a result, and there are shells everywhere. I just know I am going to puncture a paw on one. And even worse, she brought a QUILT! So now the polar bears are all fired up, playing with it, and trying to figure out how all of them can best snuggle in it to keep warm. Can you imagine worse presents?

Friday, December 7, 2012

Relative Was Here

One of the human's relatives was just here. I wonder if I can sue for this visit. Relatives dropping in never lead to anything good for me. I'm just glad that my human was in bed at the time or she surely would have used this visit to gather details for that horrible tree of hers. At least the grandhuman doesn't do that. The visiting relation dropped off Christmas presents, though, which makes it likely the human will have to call with her thanks for the gifts soon. She'll probably ask genealogy questions then. I sense tree growth soon!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Bus Arrived

The bus arrived today with the squirrel and the dragon, along with their luggage. The dragon seems like he will be a nice sibling, but I am deeply concerned about that squirrel. He is up to something, I am sure of it. He lagged in a giant suitcase I fear is packed full of seed, and he's already talking about attending CHURCH! I just know that the squirrel will expect me to attend Sunday sermon as well, and what if there are more siblings awaiting me at the alter? Churches seem fond of forcing massive amounts of siblings upon me. What in the world will I do if this squirrel gets me into a church and then I am presented with a horde of new siblings? I knew letting him move in was an awful idea, I just knew it!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Still No Squirrel

The squirrel isn't here yet, and I am becoming alarmed. He is at a seed store, I just know it, stuffing his suitcase full of seed! Do you know how many pumpkin seed are in a pound? And how aggressive pumpkin are? And that squirrel is allowed fifty pounds in his suitcase. Sure, brushes to keep his tail bushy will take up some of that, but still, he will be able to pack frightening amounts of seed in there. And then what if he uses his carry-on luggage to transport seed too? We're doomed!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Relative Horrors

I happened to check the human's email today, while looking for updates on where that squirrel is. I thought it best to keep an eye on his travels so I would know which states I should issue warnings to my fellow felines to avoid until his bus departs. Anyway, I didn't find a bus schedule update, but something much worse. The human was discussing archive visits with a cousin! I sense trouble looming. Discussing archive visits can only lead to more visits being planned, which can only lead to more bus travel. And I just know that sooner or later, those bunnies will come hopping in with a bus ticket in MY NAME! And then I will be forced to ride cramped up next to a horde of bunnies, and I will have to share a litter box with them too! Do you know what sort of litter bunnies prefer? CORN litter! Even in the box they want vegetables!

Monday, December 3, 2012

Pool Report

I can't believe this. This afternoon, the humans were once more attempting to do some work with that awful pool, with the assistance of the bunnies. I was hiding inside, hoping not to be noticed in case this work meant a pool party and zoo break might be looming in the future. I was all snuggled up in my condo, with ears tucked in under my tail. That must have muffled the hopping noises, is all I can figure, because I surely didn't hear the bunnies. It was only when I popped out to my box that I found what they had done. They snatched the mat I had right outside my box door, a not welcome mat to try to keep visiting friends of my siblings like the pandas and practically every other rabbit in the state out. They took my mat, and it is now outside, being used as a filter cover for the swimming pool! Can that get me charged as an accessory to any pool related crimes or escapes?

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Squirrel and the Bus

Well, the number of the bus the squirrel and the dragon are riding arrived in the human's email today, along with instructions on tracking their travel route. I thought about doing that, to see what the squirrel is up to, but I'm honestly a bit afraid to know. What if I look and it shows online that the bus the squirrel is on has made a stop at a seed store? You know, he's allowed fifty pounds of luggage on the bus. He could be filling that weight limit with massive amounts of seed, even as we speak!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Still No Squirrel

There is still no sign of the squirrel. Okay, yesterday I thought his taking his time to arrive was a good thing, but upon further reflection, I am getting nervous about this delay. What if the reason it is taking the squirrel so long to get here is because his bus stopped off at a seed store so he could gather gifts for his future bunny friends? He could be picking up massive quantities of seed at this very moment! The bunnies do not need more seed! I demand that bus get a move on! If I must put up with a giant squirrel, they better hurry and get him here! I think I can take his presence better than the worry about what he could be shopping for while I'm not looking.