Thursday, December 31, 2009

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Thirty-One

The human wrote 4197 words on the rabbit Christmas story, bringing her total on that little piece of horror writing up to 49,162, only 30,838 words away from her goal of 80,000 words. She thinks that the next chapter will just fly, too, so I expect a truly alarming amount of writing to be reported tomorrow.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Thirty-One

Another month of noveling horror is about to come to a close, and I am afraid to think of what the next month will bring. The human is sure that she will be able to finish her two current books easily, and then will be able to get a decent start on the next book in the series. I don't even want to think of the accomplice gatherings she's poking into, trying to pick the best ones to attend. Those are too alarming for words.

Word Count Month Two Day Thirty-One

The human just finished up Act One of the second rabbit story, writing 1800 more words, bringing the total on that up to 23,004, and she has everything that she needs to have happen in the next few chapters all in her head, so she thinks she can fly through the entire thing. Have you ever heard of anything so alarming in your life?

New Penguin

Another penguin has moved in. Her flight just arrived today, and naturally she caught a cab right over to the house. I am very worried about this penguin. Naturally she arrived without luggage, which means I am going to have to somehow find clothing to force her into, and in even worse news, I swear I heard her telling my other penguin siblings that she passed out all of the party invitations that they wanted sent out. I just know that they've invited every penguin they could possibly find a nest address for to come up for a pool party!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Thirty

The human wrote 1888 words on the second rabbit story today, bringing her total there up to 21,204. She is well on track to be able to finish Act One with a few more thousand words tomorrow.

Word Count Month Two Day Thirty

The human wrote 3612 words on the rabbit Christmas story today bringing her up to 44.965 words total, 35,035 words away from her goal of 80,000. She's still a bit behind where she was wanting to be, but I'm seriously afraid that she's going to be able to get caught up, especially since she managed some stuff in this current chapter that she claims will help the next few chapters to fly.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Thirty

The human is looking up writing conventions to attend now, along with typing like crazy on her horror story. There's a big one that she's dying to attend in the spring, and she's trying to figure out if she can manage the fee while it's still at the early bird rate. I hate to imagine what will happen if she is able to go and meet with all of those other writing people. I'm sure they would encourage her terribly in her pursuit of such frightening noveling.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Nine

The human wrote 1070 words on the rabbit Christmas story, bringing her total up to 41.353. She's now 38,647 words away from her goal of 80,000 words. She's upset, though, because she wanted to get to at least 44,000 words today. I shudder to think of what she might try to get herself caught up to her goals.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty-Nine

The human didn't get as much accomplished with her writing as she had hoped for today, due to her leg being messed up and then a headache that she ended up with somehow. The writing just wouldn't flow like she wanted it to, so she just had to pause in the chapters she was working on. Needless to say, she's totally ticked, and is trying to work out a plan for a marathon writing session to get caught up.

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Nine

At least the human isn't as upset about the second rabbit book. She wrote 1078 words on it, bringing her up to 19,316. She's almost at the end of Act One, and I'm sure she'll be able to finish it, even if she fell a bit behind today.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Eight

The human wrote 1930 more words on the second rabbit story that she's working on bringing her up to 16,308 words on that one. She's almost finished with the First Act, and she's muttering about maybe working all day or all night to try to get that finished in the next day or so.

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Eight

The human reached the halfway point today. It's all downhill from here as far as finishing the book is concerned. She wrote 3675 words, bringing the novel up to 40,283 words total. She is now 39,717 words away from her goal of 80,000 words. I'm sure that she will start to write faster now that she is over that middle number, too. She always speeds up once she hits the magical 40,000 word mark.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty-Eight

The human came strolling in with another jumbo serving of caffeine today. Really, what are these restaurants thinking, providing her with these drinks? I'm starting to suspect that the rabbits have offered them produce for their menus if the help keep the human awake and cranking out large quantities of rabbit encouragement.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Seven

The human wrote 1993 words on the second rabbit story that she's working on, bringing that particular horror up to 16,308. She says that she is now roughly one chapter away from finishing Act One and will certainly get it done before the New Year.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty-Seven

The noveling is still proceeding according to plan, despite how I keep hoping for the human to develop writer's block. She's even thinking about taking a day or two this week just to write and see how many words she can crank out total. I wonder if I can find a place to hide that day? She might start working on a third rabbit story soon, too, just so she'll have a good start on two different ones when she finishes the Christmas story.

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Seven

The human wrote 4431 words on the rabbit Christmas story today, finishing up the eighth chapter. She is now at 36,608 words, and will likely hit the halfway point tomorrow. It's all downhill once she hits the magical 40,000 words. I wonder what I should do to alert our poor neighbors? It seems to sad that they will start their year homeless.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Six

The human wrote 1885 words on the second rabbit story, bringing her up to 14,314 words total on that. And, in even worse news, she says that she has the next three chapters mapped out in her head, so it's just a matter of getting them written out. She's threatening to spend an entire day next week just working on cranking out writing even if she has to sit on ice permanently to manage it.

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Six

The human wrote 5341 words today, bringing her up to 32177 words total on the rabbit Christmas story, which is roughly where the human says that she wants to be. At the rate at which she is going, she will hit the halfway point in the next day or so, and who knows, she might be able to finish Act Two by the New Year. What a horrible way to start a year off.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty-Six

I want the restaurant that provided the human with the extra large serving of soda prosecuted! Or possibly persecuted, and tarred and feathered. She is now setting on the bed, wide awake and typing like crazy. And to make matters even worse, she went out this afternoon, claiming she was going to drop off a Christmas gift. She returned with an idea for book eight in the rabbit series. The horrors just keep on coming!

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Five

At least the human isn't complaining as much about the second rabbit story and falling behind. She managed to do 1842 words on it, and is finished with the third chapter of that horror story now, bringing it up to a total of 12,429 words. She's got the next couple of chapters plotted out in her head, too, and I'm afraid she will be able to really fly if she can ever get things caught up like she wants them to be with the other story.

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Five

The human wrote 2053 words on the rabbit Christmas story, bringing her up to 26,836 words total. Frankly, that still sounds nightmarish to me, but the human wasn't pleased at all about falling behind where she wants to be. I don't want to think of what she's going to do to get caught up.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty-Five

The human wasn't feeling well today, and didn't get as much writing done as she hoped. That was good for our poor neighbors, but not so good for me. Needless to say, the human wasn't happy, as this is the second time she's fallen behind what she was hoping to do due to issues with her leg, and she's considering scheduling a writing marathon to make up for it. Going to camp out at that bakery where she met with some of her accomplices has been tossed out as a possibility for this noveling horror. I wonder if I call and tell them that Betsy Bear might come with the human if that would be enough to shut the bakery down?

Friday, December 25, 2009


I would like to wish my readers a Merry Christmas, along with extending an apology to anyone who might have been missing goodies under their tree this morning. There was an "incident" with Santa when he dropped by here. Betsy Bear was lurking in the living room and needless to say she attacked his sack. I think she somehow got onto the roof too, because I kept hearing frantic shouts from reindeer instead of the prancing and pawing that I understand is customary for such animals. Unfortunately, Santa did leave something for me, a new collar complete with bell. The rabbits forged my name on a letter requesting this. They claim it will be just perfect for when I am forced to travel with them promoting books.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Four

The human wrote 4235 words tonight, bringing her total for the Christmas rabbit story up to 24,783. At the rate at which she is moving on this story, she'll hit the halfway point before she knows it. And once she's at the halfway point, then it's all downhill for finishing the story. I do hope Santa brings our neighbors the keys to new homes. They will be needing them soon.

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Three

The human wrote 1904 more words on the second rabbit story. It is now at 10,587 words total, which means that she is now half through with the first act. Perhaps I should have bought our neighbors homeowners' insurance for Christmas, except I wasn't sure of how to find a policy that covered acts of rabbits. To make matters even worse, the human's getting ideas now for how to wrap up Act One of this story and then a plot twist that will spice up Act Two.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty-Four

The novel horrors are still proceeding according to schedule, even with the human having to take time off to finish wrapping presents and then to go out to eat. Don't think I don't blame the restaurant that she went to for supper either. Really, what WERE they thinking, providing her with three large glasses of soda? She'll be up all night at this rate, and I shudder to think of what she will manage to get done. My only comfort is that she didn't go to the restaurant with the coca cola cake. That much caffeine on top of the sodas is the last thing she needs.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Three

Act One of the Rabbit Christmas story is finished. The human wrote 4134 words on it, bringing her total up to 20,548 words. I just know if she keeps this up that she's going to finish Act Two before the New Year. Really, she should be so ashamed of herself. doing all of this and encouraging those rabbits so much.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty-Three

The human is still in pain, but she got out the ice, and amused herself setting on it so that she could get her typing done. I don't know what I'm going to do, I really don't. The words seem to be flying, and to make matters worse, she's thought up and idea for a few chapters of one of the bear stories too. The neighbors are doomed. If the bunnies don't destroy their house with gardening plans, then Betsy Bear will rob them blind because of book encouragement.

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Three

The human wrote 1728 words on the second rabbit story, bringing the total on that up to 8689. I don't know what I am going to do with her enthusiasm for typing. Santa will probably trip over her tomorrow when he risks a Betsy Bear attack to poke presents under our tree. She's thinking of staying up all night and working as a Christmas gift to herself.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Two

The human wrote 1623 words on the second rabbit story, bringing her total for that up to 6955 words. She had been hoping to get more in, but at least she isn't as grumpy over her progress on that story being delayed by her leg issues as she is over the delay on the Christmas story.

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-Two

The human managed to get through the fourth chapter of the Christmas rabbit story today with 4202 words, bringing the story up to 16,414 total so far. She still isn't happy about the writing day she missed, though, and is talking about getting a double dose of caffeine from somewhere tomorrow so she can get caught up. I can only hope her dentist recommends against it.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty-Two

The human is still in pain, and her writing has been slowed down considerably. Needless to say, she isn't pleased at all, and is threatening to do whatever she has to to get back on track, even if it means living on ice to keep her poor, damaged leg frozen solid. I wonder if I should sacrifice my cheesy snacks to unplug the refrigerator? I don't want her to hurt, but I don't want our neighbors to become homeless either.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty-One

The human managed to get some writing done on the second rabbit story she is working on before her leg started to kill her. She wrote 1889 words bringing the story up to 5332 total and concluding the first chapter with their realization that an actual murder has taken place.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty-One

The human's in considerable pain from her leg this evening. As much as it does bother me to hear her going about, moaning in pain, at least it has had the side effect of slowing down her noveling a bit. Perhaps the poor neighbors won't be homeless for Christmas after all. She did mention something alarming about purchasing a CD of Christmas music, though. I wonder how worried I should be about that putting her in the mood to write Christmas stories through her pain?

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Twenty

The human wrote 1770 more words on the second rabbit novel, bringing it up to 3435 words total so far. She's hoping that if she can write at least 1600 words per day, then she'll have at least the first act of this book done by the time she finishes the Christmas story, and can fly through the rest. I'm very afraid she just might be right about that. Our poor neighbors are doomed.

Continuing Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty

Bad news. The book being mislaid didn't slow the human down like I hoped. She just poked around on the internet and found the information she needed. Really, the internet should be ashamed of just having such horrible information available where my human can find it and get horrible ideas.

Word Count Month Two Day Twenty

The human wrote 4087 words on the rabbit Christmas mystery bringing her up to 12,212 words total. Our poor neighbors are doomed. She's been able to produce 4000 words for three days in a row now. What am I going to do if she can maintain this level of writing speed?

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twenty

The human is missing a book that she claims is absolutely critical for completing part of the second rabbit story that she is working on. I can only pray that this book remains among the missing so her horrible writing is slowed down. Really, she's setting a nightmarish pace on the Christmas book, and I shudder to think of what she might be capable of doing on the second book if she ever finds the research book she needs.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Nineteen

The human started on a second rabbit story. She is currently at 1665 words, and is about halfway through the first chapter. Our poor neighbors are doomed. She's got the first few chapters all plotted out in her head, and she's sure that as she gets into it, the rest will come to her fast.

Word Count Month Two Day Nineteen

The human wrote 4117 words on the rabbit Christmas mystery today bringing her up to 8125 words total so far. She says she has the rest of Act One plotted out in her head, too, so she might actually try to fly through that in the next day or so, depending on how things go. She should be ashamed, cranking out so many alarming words so fast. I can only hope that Christmas shopping will come along to distract her.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Nineteen

The human's work on the latest rabbit book is going well. It's going so well, in fact, that the rabbits are encouraging her to work on two books at once, and I fear that she is going to listen to them. I caught her making character cards for another one of the books in the series and she was muttering something a little while ago about trying to crank out at least part of the first chapter for that. What am I going to do if she manages two books at the same time?

Friday, December 18, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Eighteen

The human just finished the first chapter of the horrible rabbit Christmas story. Her word count for this novel is currently at 4008 words. I'm honestly afraid of what she might accomplish tomorrow, especially if we get snow. She says she's got the next chapter plotted out, and the basics for the entire first Act planned out in her head. I'm afraid that's a horrible sign that she's going to be able to fly through this thing.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Eighteen

The human found a site that is supposed to help you write a book in a week, and she is thinking about signing up after Christmas. Do you think I can report this horrible site to someone? Our neighbors will never see their house again if the human's speed at writing horrible stories of rabbit encouragement gets up to cranking out a book a week. I'm very worried that something like that could work for her, too. She's already got the entire first act of the next rabbit book plotted out. It's just a matter of her getting it typed, and this horrible site might show her how to up her speed.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Seventeen

The second book is done. The human wrote 5290 words, bringing her up to a total of 80,261 words for the second book. Have you ever seen such an alarming word count? Really, she should be ashamed, and the rate at which she is cranking out these words is alarming to say the least, especially since she's writing around holidays which are thought to slow writing down. What if this means her speed will increase come January? I've heard there are some who can crank out a book a week. What will I do if the human decides to try that next? She's already mastered a book in a month.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Seventeen

Does anyone know of a good hiding place for a laptop battery, where the human will never find it, but I can get to it easily? I really have got to do something. The human now has the first Act for that horrible rabbit Christmas tale plotted out. She's planning to start work on it tomorrow. It will probably result in the bunnies doubling the number of seed they're asking Santa to bring them in the name of story research, and he might actually do it if it's a Christmas story.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Sixteen

The human didn't get as much done yesterday as she would have liked because her leg was bothering her. She still got 2443 words written out, though, bringing her total up to 74,971 words only 5029 words away from her goal. She already has about a thousand words of that written for the last chapter, and she has plans for the chapter before the last that I'm afraid she's going to be able to just fly through. She'll probably finish the horrible thing tonight and get right to work on that Christmas story. I must alert the neighbors right away.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Sixteen

The human has thought up the plot for the Christmas rabbit book, and those bunnies are hopping around her bed like crazy telling her how much fun she would have writing a Christmas book at Christmastime. What am I going to do if she listens to them? All of those horrible holiday carols will probably just help her keep the horror writing going.

Horrible Weather Report

I want the weatherman arrested, drug into the streets and possibly tarred and feathered! He has just issued a report calling for snow this weekend. Do you know how much work my human might get done if she gets snowed in the house? The weatherman is collaborating with the bunnies. I just know it. It's bad enough that he cheated on his forecasting all summer by looking out his window with binoculars and issuing rain reports based on their rain dances. Now he's actively helping them, probably as repayment for all of the work they saved him over the summer. He should be ashamed, and don't think I won't be telling the neighbors about this.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Fifteen

The human wrote 2452 words today, bringing her total up to 72,528. She's now only 7,472 words away from her goal of having 80,000 words. She's planning to go to bed early, too, so she can work all day tomorrow to finish. My only hope to prevent this is to find a sedative to pop into her drink. Does anyone have any idea how to find a fast acting sedative?

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Fifteen

The human believes that she will finish the latest rabbit horror by tomorrow at the latest. She has all of the twists and turns that she needs to have take place mapped out in her head so she is sure that she will be able to write the ending fast. Then she wants to get started right away on a new rabbit horror. She's even thinking of starting out with the first chapters of the next five in the series at once to see which one she seems to be able to work on the fastest. What am I going to do if she decides to do all five at once? That much rabbit encouragement could prove fatal, or at least destructive, to our poor neighbors and their continuing ability to use their homes.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Fourteen

The human wrote 5024 words today, bringing her total up to 70,077. She is now only 9923 words away from her goal of 80,000 words. She's threatening to work hard, and to possibly either cancel all medical appointments or lag the laptop with her so that she can work from the waiting room in order to get the story finished by Wednesday. Have you ever heard of such a nightmarish idea? If she finishes this horrible thing by Wednesday, that means she could be close to finished with a third book by the end of the month!

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Fourteen

I'm afraid the human's noveling horrors are proceeding according to schedule. She's hoping to finish the second book in the next day or so so she can get right to work on cranking out the third book. Really, she should be ashamed, and how I will explain this to the neighbors, I'll never know. I third book will be sure to result in the loss of their houses after all of the encouragement it will give those rabbits.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Thirteen

The human wrote 2121 words today, bringing the novel total up to 65,053. She is now only 14,947 words away from her goal of 80,000 words. I have no doubts at all she's going to hit that nightmarish total soon. She's already planning to go to bed early tonight so that she can work all day on writing. I'm sure that will lead to nothing good.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Thirteen

The human was a bit distracted today, trying to finish off her Christmas orders, but she still managed to get more work on that horrible novel done. I'm afraid to imagine how much more writing she'll be able to crank out now that she's got all of the Christmas stuff ordered. Really, she should be ashamed, and I don't even want to think of what might happen if things continue at the rate that they are going. Perhaps I will sneak the battery for her laptop into someone else's package for Christmas. That might slow her down.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Twelve

The human wrote 3183 words on the second rabbit novel today, bringing her total up to 62,932 words total. She's now only 17,068 words away from her goal of 80,000. She has some horrible ideas, too, about what she needs to do to get to the end, so I just know that the horrible thing is really going to fly now.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Twelve

The human is hard at work on Act Three of the second rabbit book, and has high hopes of being finished in a few days. I wonder if I should go and take photos of our poor neighbors now? With all of this encouragement of rabbits, I'm very much afraid that some of them might not manage to escape their homes before the bunnies' garden takes over. We might need photos for the missing persons' reports. The human has been thinking about what she wants to do for the third book, too, and is running plot ideas over in her head so that she can get off to a fast start. That seems like the worst possible thing to have happen. What if the third book goes even faster?

Friday, December 11, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Eleven

The human wrote 3038 words today, bringing the story up to 59,749 words total. She is now only 20,251 words away from her goal of 80,000 words. I'm afraid she's planning to try to get a lot of work done this weekend so that she can finish this horrible thing quickly, and hopefully get at least halfway through on the next book by the first of the year. Really, isn't there a limit to the amount of horror one year can have?

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Eleven

I would like to ask for a moment of silence in memory of the poor neighbors who are about to loose their homes. The human finished up Act Two today, and started in on the first bit of Act Three. Really, the entire thing is just too horrifying for words, and she thinks that with how well this is progressing, she might start to play around a bit, and work a bit on the next book as well, so she's ready to gt of to a fast start as soon as she's done with this one.


Has anyone ever noticed how big rabbit feet are? I really didn't pay much attention until the rabbits decided that they have to have stockings to hang up for Santa to stuff with seed on Christmas. I shudder to think of how much seed would be able to fit into a sock designed to fit on a large rabbit foot. Aren't there laws against things like that?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Ten

I knew that the human being awake all day would result in the horror to end all horrors. She wrote 6145 words today, bringing the second rabbit novel up to 56,712 words total. She is now 23,288 words away from her goal of 80,000 words. The story is on chapter 14 now, and she thinks she'll finish Act Two by tomorrow at the rate, and will be able to make a descent start on flying through Act Three. I think I will have to go into hiding if her noveling continues at this pace. I'm sure that many words are highly hazardous.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Ten

The human didn't sleep at all today, and I hold the restaurant that supplied her with massive amounts of caffeine to blame for this state of affairs. Needless to say, she's gotten a lot of writing done, and she is absolutely thrilled by the fact that she's almost done with Act Two of the rabbit book several days ahead of schedule too. Oh, this is such a horrible thing that I don't want to think of it. If Act Two goes fast, it's surely a bad sign that the last act will fly by even faster. She's even working on what she intends to have as the last chapter of the book, since she had a good idea hit on how she wanted to conclude things. Really, she should be so ashamed.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Nine

The human wrote 2271 words today, bringing her word total up to 50,567. She is now only 29,433 words away from her goal of 80,000. Have you ever heard of something so nightmarish and I just know the words are going to come at an alarmingly fast rate now that the human says that she has pretty much everything in the rest of the book plotted out.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Nine

The human claims to know exactly what she's going to do for the rest of the second book in the rabbit series, which is a horrible sign. If she knows what she needs to do, I'm very much afraid she will be able to fly through writing up the rest of the book. The rabbits already have five more bunny books for her to work on after this one, not to mention the teddy books and a romance series she's wanted to do for awhile. Isn't such large amounts of writing illegal in some places, and I just know it will give all of my siblings bad ideas.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Continuing Word Count Month Two Day Eight

The human wrote 1954 more words today, bringing her up to 6136 words for the day and 48,296 for the story total so far. She is now 31,704 words away from her goal of 80,000 words. Our poor, poor neighbors. They are so doomed that it isn't funny. I don't know how I'll ever break this to them, but I suppose I better let them know soon, so they can request new homes from Santa.

Word Count Month Two Day Eight

The human refused to return to her bed where she belonged this morning after the other human left. She got on the computer and has thus far cranked out 4182 words, bringing the rabbit story up to 46,342 words. She is now 33,658 words away from her 80,000 word goal. I've got to find a sedative to slip into her soda right away, is all that I can say.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Eight

I have never been so embarrassed in my life. The human just got off the phone to my vet, after placing a call to check out a rabbit fact for the book. And she let them know it was for a book, too, so they're sure to have questions for me the next time I go out there. Really, she should be ashamed. I have no idea how I will explain the rabbit related horror to the vet, and what if she thinks I am an accomplice to this? Really, the human should be so ashamed of herself. Couldn't she call some vet that we don't know, if she absolutely had to consult with them about rabbit issues, and disguise her voice so she couldn't be identified?

Monday, December 7, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Seven

The human wrote 2140 more words, bringing her up to 42,160 words total in the second rabbit story. She is now 37,840 words away from her goal for this horrible bit of writing, which means our poor neighbors are only a few days away from having to face the loss of their homes.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Seven

The writing is going along according to schedule, I'm afraid. And even worse, the human's almost through reading that horrible Book in a Month thing. Really, that author should be so ashamed of writing such a thing, and making it such a quick read too. The human seems to speed up every time that she looks at it, which can only be bad news for her finishing the second rabbit book faster than she did the first.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Six

The human hit 40,020 words today after writing 3977 words. She is now 39,980 words away from her goal of 80,000 words to complete the novel. Our poor, poor neighbors. I don't know how I will explain this all to them, and I'm sure my cat mother isn't going to take things well when she looses her home due to those rabbits receiving such terrible amounts of encouragement.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Six

The human re-read a few sections in the horrible Book in a Month thing of hers, and I just know that it's put horrible notions into her head. She came back from dinner talking about locking herself into her room to type all night. What do I do if she's serious about that? I need to be able to get in there to get online. Isn't denying me computer access some sort of cruel and unusual punishment?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Five

The human is caught up as far as her word count goes. She's up to 36,043 words total in the second rabbit story after writing another 4016. She just knows that she will hit 40,000 tomorrow, and I have serious fears that she might be right. Once she gets over 40,000 words, if things go like they did last time, her writing will really start to fly. What in the world am I going to do if she completes another rabbit book? Those bunnies will be absolutely impossible to live with after receiving that much encouragement.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Five

The writing on that horrible bunny book is continuing according to schedule, even though the human fell a bit behind yesterday. She still thinks she'll be able to hit 40,000 words by the end of the weekend if she keeps things up the way they're going. I so blame her doctor for this. She's still in pain from what he did yesterday, and thus must stay in bed where she has nothing to do but to type. And it doesn't help that those bunnies are lurking in her room, always ready to hop up on the bed with suggestions for her.


It is snowing here, and I don't just mean a light dusting of flurries either. There must be an inch or two already on the ground and the weather is giving every indication that it plans to continue dumping snow all day! I am trapped in the house with a crippled human. What in the world am I going to do if the other human can't make it home from work? My human says that she can get to some of my food, but I'm just not sure at all. And what about all of the time that she will have to write if we end up snowbound? I want the weatherman prosecuted for this!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Four

The human is up to 32,027 words today after writing 1151 words today. Needless to say she wasn't pleased, but she was feeling too awful to manage more. I shudder to think of how much writing she's going to try to do tomorrow to make up for falling only slightly behind today.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Four

I hoped that the human's doctor appointment today would have delayed her writing. I wanted it delayed, not what the doctor actually did! He kept her waiting for two hours, so now she is in absolute agony, and I would not be surprised at all if she ends up not being able to walk again after this. Really, doesn't that doctor have a brain? Not only is it annoying to have to listen to the human moan in pain, but if her leg is flared severely, she'll have to stay in bed. Her computer's in the bedroom. She'll get more writing than I want to think about done now, and it is all that doctor's fault.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Three

The human is up to 30,876 words on the second bunny story after cranking out another 2140 words today. I don't know what I'm going to do if she keeps things moving along like this. I'm sure she'll hit 40,000, which is the halfway mark, over the weekend at this rate.

Impending Sheep Doom

The poor sheep are doomed, and I can only hope that should any sheep be reading this, that they run and call their insurance agents right away to make sure that the impending loss of their wool will be covered under their policies. The human dreamed up an idea for a seventh book in the rabbit series where sheep will play a large role. Isn't it bad enough that those books are encouraging the bunnies? Must the human write something to encourage polar bears too?

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Three

The novel is progressing according to schedule, according to the human, which means that the house is filled with partying rabbits. They're planning large seed orders now, and they're sure that they'll be able to get them too, if they let that horrible place that supplies free seed know that it is for a book. I shudder to imagine the size of their garden after all of this encouragement.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day Two

The human wrote 3181 words today on the second story of rabbit horror, bringing her total for the nightmarish work up to 28736. Really, she should be so ashamed. I can only hope that the doctors' appointments she has booked for the next few days will slow her down slightly or she's sure to get the awful thing up to 40,000 next.

Novel Horrors Month Two Day Two

The human is still hard at work on the novel, and I'm afraid it's still going alarmingly well. She went back and added a bunny scene to Chapter Six, and I'm very sorry to say that it's got her moving in exactly the direction she wanted to go. So much for my hopes of her getting hit with a large case of writer's block. At this rate, she might be halfway through by the beginning of next week. Our poor, poor neighbors. It's so tragic they are to become homeless at Christmas thanks to that human writing such terrible rabbit encouragement.

Swimming Pool

The place the human's going to for therapy is insane, is all that I can figure. They have a swimming pool, and they're actually letting the human into it. Needless to say, the penguins were very excited to hear this, and they're already making plans to stow away in her bag the next time she goes. That poor pool. The filter is doomed for sure with all of the penguin feathers that will soon be clogging it.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Word Count Month Two Day One

The human wrote 2314 words today, bringing her total for the second bunny book to 25,555 words so far. Have you ever seen something so shocking? I do hope our neighbors have insurance, and in worse news for the poor neighbors, there is an alarming report of snow heading for this area. Snow will give the human nothing to do but to stay home and write! The weatherman should be ashamed!

Novel Horrors Month Two Day One

She's still writing, and I don't like the way the rabbits are lurking in her room. I just know that I heard one of those little cotton-tailed things hopping onto the bed and saying something about how since it's the Christmas season and all she ought to work on the planned Christmas rabbit book too. What am I going to do if she listens?

Christmas Corruption

Those rabbits have done something totally terrible as part of their planned Christmas celebrations. Isn't it bad enough they've got the human cranking out massive amounts of rabbit centered writing? Now those bunnies have convinced her to give a rabbit book to a couple of unsuspecting children for Christmas! They're plotting to convert those poor things to bunny lovers, I just know it, probably thinking that by the time the human's rabbit books come out, they'll be old enough to beg for a copy. Really, those bunnies are just too sneaky.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Word Count Day Thirty

I would like to suggest a moment of silence for the poor, poor neighbors, who are soon to loose their homes. The human wrote chapter six today and part of chapter seven. She wrote 3060 words, bringing her total up to 23,241 for the second rabbit story. For the month of November she's written 105,099 words total. Have you ever heard something so alarming, and she has a number of horrible plans to top that total for next month!

Novel Horrors Day Thirty

The month is almost over, thank goodness, but I'm afraid that it's put so many bad ideas into the human's head it isn't funny. She's been poking around online looking for a little word counter program like the one on the horrible novel writing site, and she's hopping to top the number of words she wrote this month when she gets to work in the morning on next months' writing. Oh, and there's a horrible rumor going around, too, that this thing could become a year round event! Do we really need that much horror?

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Word Count Day Twenty-Nine

Act One is finished, and in only six days too, one day faster than she did things for the first book. The human wrote 4256 words, bringing her total up to 20,181. Have you ever seen a number so large? She's hoping to get at least another chapter, if not two more, done in Act Two today, and with the amount of caffeine she has left, I'm afraid she just might manage it.

Novel Horrors Day Twenty-Nine

I want that horrible movie theater prosecuted for this! They sold the human a giant soda, and even worse, they offered free refills. She is never going to sleep now, and I shudder to think of all of the writing that she's going to accomplish. Our poor neighbors. I hope they've put a new home on their wish list for Santa, because with this amount of encouragement of the rabbits, their current dwellings are doomed. Do you think they'll take it the wrong way when they get up in the morning and find their siding dotted with little post-it notes marking what the bunnies are planning to plant there for next year's garden? With how awake the human seems at the moment, she'll probably be able to get started on Act Two tonight, putting her way ahead of schedule.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Word Count Day Twenty-Eight

The human wrote 3082 words today, finishing off the fourth chapter, and bringing her up to 15,925 words. She's hoping to finish Act One tomorrow and hit 20,000 words. At the rate at which she is going, I am very afraid she will do it. My only hope is that the movie she is going to see with a friend tomorrow will distract her from thoughts of bunnies, at least for a bit.

Novel Horrors Day Twenty-Eight

I managed to distract the human with a video game for a bit hoping it would make her sleepy so she couldn't write, but she somehow managed to creep out and obtain caffeine, and is now wide awake. I hope the store who sold her that soda feels terribly guilty. The bunnies are working on a seed list thanks to the encouragement this book has given them. And the human came in from collecting the caffeine muttering something about good fortune promised in her horoscope. I wonder what sign our neighbors are? Somehow, I suspect they're the one who's horoscope says, property loss expected, disaster in your future.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Word Count Day Twenty-Seven

The human wrote 2175 words on chapter 4 of the horrible, second rabbit novel today. Her total is now at 12,843 words. And in even worse news, she now says she knows all of the twists and characters that she needs to bring in to get through act one. That probably means she'll be able to crank out the rest of the words for it at an alarmingly fast rate. I shudder to imagine how fast this book might end up completed. And she's already making plans to start hunting for an agent! Can you imagine how much having an agent devoted to rabbit writing will encourage the bunnies?

Novel Horrors Day Twenty-Seven

Those rotten sales. I hope those stores feel so guilty, and those horrible customers should feel guilty too, for being on their best behavior and keeping the lines moving in a speedy, orderly fashion. The human was back by noon, and now she's planning to get right to work on the novel as soon as she takes a brief nap. I don't like the amount of caffeine that terrible clown as supplied her with either. I just know that horrible creature is up to something.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Word Count Day Twenty-Six

The human wrote 3712 words on the second rabbit story today, finishing up the third chapter. The total word count is now at 10,698. She was thinking of working on the next chapter but she decided to go to bed early in order to hit the sales tomorrow. I can only pray they're good so that she will stay out all day and far away from the computer. She already has the next chapter planned in her head, along with the turning point for the end of Act One. If she keeps things up at this pace, she will have Act One finished by the end of the weekend and will be speeding ahead through Act Two. Isn't this high of a writing speed against some sort of a law?

Novel Horrors Day Twenty-Six

The parade didn't work as a distraction, and, in even worse news, the human was allowed a extra large slice of chocolate cake, made with Coca-Cola when she went out for Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Believe me, I will be reporting this restaurant promptly for supplying her with so much caffeine. She will probably be wide awake, typing on that horrible novel all night at this rate. She's almost through with chapter 3, and she claims to have chapter 4 plotted out in her head already. Maybe the sales tomorrow will distract her. It is our neighbors' only hope of ending this horrible encouragement of rabbits.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Word Count Day Twenty-Five

The human finished chapter 2 of the second novel. She wrote 2511 words today, bringing her to a total of 6986 for the story so far. She thinks she next chapter is going to just fly, so I don't even want to think about how many words she'll crank out tomorrow. She's talking about trying to break 10,000. Maybe I can distract her somehow with a parade.

Novel Horrors Day Twenty-Five

The novel is moving along nicely according to the last report, or at least I assume that's what the bunnies dancing about shouting about their pending fame means. I am holding that horrible clown, Ronald McDonald, responsible for the human's typing tonight. He foolishly supplied her with large quantities of soda, and she's thinking of staying up all night to write.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Word Count Day Twenty-Four

The human wrote 4475 words for the horrible sequel to the bunny novel today, and she was terribly pleased with how fast the words were flowing once she got to typing on the awful thing. What am I going to go if she's able to keep up that pace? She's starting off faster on this novel than she did on the last one!

Novel Horrors Day Twenty-Four

I want that bakery prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law! The human just got back from her accomplice gathering, and you can't imagine how wide awake she is after all of the caffeine the bakery let her have access to. She will probably be awake all night and I shudder to think of the amount of noveling that she will accomplish. I swear, I ought to buy Betsy a bus ticket and send her down there to appropriately punish the bakery for such horrible activities. They should be ashamed. I won't even comment on her horrible accomplices. They even talked tonight about setting up meetings to continue things once the month is over. And here I thought I would be safe come December!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Word Count Day Twenty-Three

The novel is now at 80.063 words with the human still having five or six more chapters to go through for her initial edit, which can only lead to at least a few hundred more words being added to the total. Really, I have never seen anything so alarming in my life, and she's started to work on the sequel as well, claiming that she's got the entire basic first act already mapped out in her mind. I really must turn in the names of the horrible humans who came up with this awful month of noveling horrors to our poor neighbors, who will surely loose their homes over this. I don't even want to think about the terrible person who wrote the book with instructions on completing a novel in a month and then dared to sell a copy to my human. That one should really be ashamed, and possibly held accountable in a court of law when the neighbors loose their home due to rabbit encouragement.

Novel Horrors Day Twenty-Three

The human is almost finished with going through the novel and making any immediate corrections and additions. The entire thing is going to well, that she plans to start right in on the sequel in just a little bit. The claims that she's already got the first two chapters of two sequels mapped out in her head, which can only bode ill for her being able to crank them out fast.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Word Count Day Twenty-Two

The human finished the novel. She wrote 12,091 more words to bring the total up to 79,560 with 21 chapters total. She's going to go back over the thing looking for places where she needs to add after taking a little nap so I expect her to have 80,000 by nightfall. Oh, our poor neighbors are doomed, and since she finished this book so fast, she's sure that she can crank a sequel out even faster.

Novel Horrors Day Twenty-Two

She's finished, well practically finished. All she's got to do is to finish the last chapter with the wrap-up, and then check back to make sure she didn't leave any plot holes anywhere, and the entire horrible thing will be finished. I will be spending all of next week hiding from rabbits celebrating the completion of this book. Really, the human should be ashamed. I'll post later with a word count.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Continuing Word Count Day Twenty-One

Chapter Eighteen is finished with 3451 words, bringing the human's total to 67,469 words. She's now 12,531 words away from her goal. She's definitely planning to write all night now, and she thinks those last few bits of words will just fly at this point. I'll probably have a second novel to report about by tomorrow's novel horrors update.

Continuing Novel Horrors Day Twenty-One

The human is almost through with Chapter Eighteen, which means she has roughly 2 more chapters to go in this novel horror. As soon as she finishes the chapter, she's going to take a nap, and then there have been alarming mentions of working all night to get the rest of the book done. I wonder if I can hide her clock?

More Sheep Issues

The human got another sheep magazine for research purposes today. Really, those magazines should be ashamed of themselves, endangering those poor sheep by sending magazines like that out here where polar bears can see them and research flocks. I will probably be called to testify when the sheep file suit. And, in even worse news for the poor sheep, the human is thinking of emailing a local sheep owner named in the magazine, to ask a few sheep related research questions. This can only end up being terrible news for the sheep who live with this person, since in the book the human is planning, the sheep in question are noted for their wool. I wonder if I should send an email to all of the local shepherds named in the magazine with a warning not to reply to any questions? I'm sure the polar bears are planning to email them questions too, pretending to be a human.

Word Count Day Twenty-One

The human wrote 2287 words this morning, bringing her total up to 66,305 words total, only 13,695 words away from her goal of 80,000. She's already got more work planned for when she wakes up from a short nap. She's going to be able to finish the entire horrid thing this weekend. I just know it.

Novel Horrors Day Twenty-One

The human was feeling a bit better this morning, which doesn't bode well for our neighbors. The bunnies have sent invitations out to all of their little rabbit friends for a party to celebrate the novel's completion. I can't even begin to imagine the disaster it will be for our neighbors to have that many rabbits, all hopping around, partying, and I'm sure they'll want to do some gardening too. That always seems to be a popular activity at bunny parties. And what about the turkeys? I have the pool house rented out to a flock of turkeys hiding here to avoid that awful holiday next week. They're sure to have issues with a loud party going on right in front of their rental!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Word Count Day Twenty

The human wrote 3737 words today bringing her total to 64.018. She was hoping to write more, but her leg was giving her trouble, and that slowed her down. She's only 15, 982 words away from her goal of 80, 000 words, though, so if she gets to feeling better tomorrow, she's sure to make it this weekend. I wonder if I have time to hide her ice?

Novel Horrors Day Twenty

Things are still proceeding according to plan with that human's horrible, horrible book. She's just about through with chapter 17, and now has the nightmarish goal of being finished, and hopefully starting the first chapter of the sequel by Sunday. My one hope of the novel being disrupted is the fact that somehow the human messed up her leg, and it is rather difficult to write while balancing bags of ice all over it. The rabbits have a horrible party planned to celebrate when this thing is done, and I just know they're going to try to force me to attend.

The Sheep's Case

I think those poor sheep have a wonderful case against someone for their upcoming wool loss. Poor, poor sheep. They seem so proud of their wool, and now they are going to have it all snitched. The human got two magazines devoted to sheep this afternoon, and I just know I heard the polar bears creeping around this afternoon while she was nappinng, taking a look at it and making maps of where to find these poor sheep. Really, that magazine should be ashamed of themselves, and the human should be too. And in even worse news, the human's thinking of finding a shepherd to talk to via email to ask more sheep related questions. Really, what is she thinking?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Word Count Day Nineteen

She finished chapter 17 with 3039 words bringing her total count up to 60,282. She is now 19,718 words away from her goal of 80,000 words, and she expects the next chapters to just fly. She would have written more tonight, too, but her doctor's appointment ran long. I can only hope the appointments she has planned for tomorrow run long as well or I am sure she will finish this thing by the weekend.

Novel Horrors Day Nineteen

She has the entire thing plotted out now. The thought of a perfect twist to handle two of the chapters that she isn't sure of, and now the entire thing is plotted out. All she has to do is to type it up, and with it plotted out in her head, I'm sure that won't take long at all. Our poor, poor neighbors. The rabbits have a large party planned to celebrate this being finished and I just know that part of the celebration will involve work on getting the ground for next year's garden ready. Or, even worse, ordering more SEED!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Continuing Word Count Day Eighteen

The human finished chapter 15 with 3233 words. Her total as of now is 6983 words for the day, bringing the overall book total to 57.243. She is 22,757 words from the 80,000 words she is shooting for completing the book at. Our poor, poor neighbors. What if she is able to write that many words everyday, now that she's managed it once? And she claims she has ideas for at least three of what she hopes will be the last five chapters, and she knows generally what will have to be in the other two. Have you ever seen so much horror? You don't want to know how the rabbits are celebrating and the party they have planned for the novel's completion.

Continuing Novel Horrors Day Eighteen

The sheep are doomed. The human heard from several sheep magazines, and all of them are sending her research materials for one of the books she is planning as a sequel to her horrible, current bunny work. Those poor sheep. I'm sure the magazines will have ads, that will probably provide addresses of pastures and website information. The polar bears will be able to get online to find the wooliest sheep, and then they can get directions to their pasture for wool gathering via Mapquest. Can those sheep sue these magazines for their upcoming wool loss?

Word Count Day Eighteen

The human just wrote 3750 more words thanks to the insomnia that she's claiming I gave her, bringing her word total to 54,011, 25,989 words away from her goal of 80,000 words. She's finished two more chapters so far, and now she's threatening to start on chapter 15. If things continue the way they have been, she thinks she has roughly six more chapters to go.

Novel Horrors Day Eighteen

The neighbors are doomed, and is all my fault. I wonder if they will be able to file a lawsuit against me for this? The human is still wide awake, and busily typing. She's now claiming that the shock and trauma of my taking off like that have caused insomnia. Frankly, I blame the soda that bakery she had her accomplice gathering at sold her, but she isn't listening right now. Not that it really matters, because whatever is keeping her awake has led to her coming up with exactly how she wants to end this horrible novel. She has the last two chapters all plotted out in her head, along with a few of the twists she wants on her way to get there. It's just a matter of her getting the horrible thing typed out now. If she really does have insomnia, she could be finished by the weekend at the rate she's going, and have lots of time left in the month to get to work on one of her planned sequels. Maybe I could beg the mailman to take a letter to the neighbors since I don't dare set paw outside the door anymore.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Word Count Day Seventeen

The human wrote 3148 words today bringing her up to 50,261. She's only 29,739 words from her goal of 80,000 words for the entire thing. And, in even worse news, she is claiming that the shock of my attempted escape has got her wide awake, so she's thinking about staying up for the rest night and doing more writing. Our poor, poor neighbors. Maybe I can distract her with a video game.

Novel Horrors Day Seventeen

My plan to disrupt the human's novelling didn't work as well as I hoped. She went out this afternoon to another accomplice gathering, and came trotting home all ready to crank out alarming amounts of words. I darted out the door the second she was in, thinking that if the humans had to spend the night hunting me, then no noveling could be done. I'm afraid I was caught much sooner than expected, though, and now the human is declaring that she ought to write an extra chapter just to punish me for traumatizing her! Can the neighbors blame me if she does? I was only trying to stop her.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Word Count Day Sixteen

The human wrote 2143 words today, bringing her total up to 47,113. That is only 32,887 words from her goal of 80,000 to finish the book. She's getting alarmingly close, and the month is barely half over. She's got plans to attend a gathering of her accomplices tomorrow, and I'm sure with their assistance she'll be able to get over the 50,000 word mark easily. I have never seen something as alarming as this thing in my life.

Novel Horrors Day Sixteen

The human is going ahead full steam with doing research for the sequels to the rabbit novel. She's been poking around online trying to figure out how to get free magazine issues on such topics as alpacas, sheep, goats, gardening and something on wool that I'm sure the polar bears snuck in there. Have you ever seen such a dangerous research list in your life? I swear that things get even worse around here with each thing she writes. Now I'm going to have to worry about polar bears going wild due to writing along with the bunnies. I am one little kitty. I can not be possibly expected to keep the entire lot of them under control.

Word Count Day Fifteen

The human did 3226 words, bringing her total to 44,970. She's still right on track, unfortunately, even with the trip home yesterday and being busy looking up research and stuff for that terrible sequel with those alpacas and everything. I wonder if I ought to trot down to the neighbors with the human's word count? She's only 35,030 words from her goal of having the novel complete by 80,000 words, and I know that the bunnies have horrible plans to celebrate its completion.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Novel Horrors Day Fifteen

The human is making so much progress on her novel that she thinks she's going to definitely start working on one of the planned sequels within the next few days so as to not loose momentum. I have never hear something so alarming in my life. And in even worse news, I am very much afraid it will be the bunny novel she has in mind featuring a herd of alpacas, since she came home from her accomplice meeting crowing about plotting the first two chapters on the way home. In case anyone doesn't know what an alpaca is, they're basically sheep, but taller. They claim they're relatives of the camel, but with all of that wool they trot around with, they can't fool me. They're tall sheep! I'm sure all of you can imagine the problems with the human working on a book with such wooly subjects. Not only will it attract the bunnies due to the rabbit issues, but it will also attract polar bears due to that wool! And, in the worst news yet, the polar bears found a nice fat brochure while they were raiding that arts and crafts center, all about alpacas and even listing the homes where some of these poor animals live. They're already begging the human to take a research trip.

Poor Kentucky

I would like to offer my sincere apologies first to the hotel that my siblings stayed at last night and then to the poor state in general. The hotel had a lovely breakfast buffet, had, of course being the operative word. Those poor, poor desk clerks arrived this morning to find that all of their waffles had been snatched and their honey and porridge supplies completely cleared out. Then, to make matters worse, the bunny hopped off with all of their tea! I hope that hotel is insured, and I hate to imagine how the poor maid will react, having to remove so many honey stains from sheets due to Betsy eating in bed.

Then, to make things worse for the state, the human decided to start at an arts and crafts center on the way home. It's connected to a college, but that apparently hasn't helped too much, because they actually had bags full of wool there! The polar bear cubs had went along on this trip, so I think you can safely guess what happened. The place foolishly was offering fudge for sale too. I hope they weren't too upset to find that gone, and I'm afraid to mention the decorative gourds I heard of. I just know the rabbits tried to crack them open for seeds.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Word Count Day Fourteen

The human wrote 2501 words today, according to the report the rabbits just emailed me, bringing her overall total to 41,918 words total. Her count is down a bit for the day, but the bunnies say that's just because of how busy she was with the ride up and meeting the accomplices and everything. She's already planning tomorrow's writing to get the word count back on its upward trend.

Novel Horrors Day Forteen

The human attended that gathering of writing accomplices today, and the bunnies who stowed away with her just emailed me, telling me all about all of the horrible ideas she's got from this meeting. Really, the humans in charge of it should be ashamed. And now the human's tucked into a hotel room just down the road from a garden center, and you know she's going to be so busy working on her new material that she isn't going to supervise those bunnies. I shudder to think of what they will do with garden supplies so close. The human should be ashamed and all of her little accomplices should be too!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Word Count Day Thirteen

The human wrote 4661 words today, bringing her up to 39,417 total. I wonder if a disaster can be declared due to that many alarming words? She's almost halfway done, and it seems her words per day are increasing every day, which can only bode ill for her finishing this thing and starting more horror.

Novel Horrors Day Thirteen

The human's writing speed is increasing, which doesn't seem to bode well at all. She is almost at the halfway point, and is crowing terribly about being way ahead of schedule. So alarming. I just know she'll start work on a second horrible novel for the bunnies and probably more writing than I want to consider for the bears as well. And, in even worse news, she's attending a meeting of accomplices tomorrow. Should you live in the state of Kentucky, I suggest you flee at once. Betsy Bear will be traveling with her.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Word Count Day Twelve

The human finished Chapter 9 with 4266 words bringing her up to a total of 34,756 words. She says she's right on track with things as far as the novel structure, too, and she thinks she could even be just a tiny bit ahead. That doesn't seem to bode well. If she gets this one done faster than expected, then what does that say about how fast she will be able to crank out the next novel?

Novel Horrors Day Twelve

The human is hard at work on the novel, and has high hopes for finishing chapter nine tonight. Oh, I don't want to think of how encouraged the bunnies will be if she does that. I do hope our neighbors listened to me and made sure that rabbits weren't excluded under the terms of their homeowners' policies. And, in even worse news, the human just submitted a story featuring the bears hitting a national park. She's planning to work on the dinosaur one over the weekend and potentially send it in on Monday. And the company she sent to is making a movie out of their last book! I don't think they make enough x's and r's to properly rate a movie featuring Betsy Bear and isn't it cruel to let her loose in a national park? Don't those poor park rangers have enough to cope with, what with forest fires, and poaching and littering? Must they face Betsy too?


If the poor, misfortunate soul who happens to have our mail route is reading this, might I suggest looking into the benefits of retirement or perhaps a transfer to a nice, safe route in deepest, darkest Africa where all you'll have to worry about is delivering packages of veggies to one Mister Mokele Mbembe. I am very sorry to say that Amazon has taken to carrying large quantities of bear items at a very good price, so needless to say, my siblings have large amounts of shopping planned. I hope the postal service provides major medical insurance.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Word Count Day Eleven

The human wrote 3303 more words bringing her up to 30,490 so far which has her right on track with this thing. I have never heard anything so alarming in my life. And what if she finishes early and starts another novel? Oh, we are doomed. She's already through chapter 8 and still going strong.

Novel Horrors Day Eleven

The human expects to hit 30,000 words tonight, and I shudder to think of how many she will have by the weekend. She might even pop over to meet some accomplices tomorrow to get more terrible encouragement. And, in even worse news, she heard back from someone and is now getting ready to send in a horrible story featuring the bears and the dinosaurs. I'm sure it will only serve to encourage the dinosaurs and they're vegetarians! Anything connected with vegetables should be strongly discouraged around here. Oh, I just know they're going to want to visit this person to discuss the book, and what will I do, trapped with that many vegetarians? There should be LAWS!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Word Count Day Ten

The human wrote 2437 words today for a total of 27,187. You won't believe how many of those words involve the rabbits either, and their actual detecting involvement. She's already well over a 100 pages into this thing and still right on course. I'm sure she's going to reach 40,000 by week's end if this keeps up. Have you ever heard of something so alarming?

Novel Horrors Day Ten

The human has heard back from one of those people who are also writing with non-human characters and she's received more alarming suggestions about what she can do with the story and how to get those horrible bunny characters involved in the detecting than I want to think about. Really, I ought to turn them in to our poor neighbors for such horrible encouragement of bunnies. My one comfort was that it was raining and the human didn't get to meet her accomplices in person this afternoon.

Continuing Novel Horrors Day Nine

I just found that the human has posted a message to her group of accomplices, looking for others who are using non-human characters and talking about the bunny story. She's already got replies from two people. I just know they're going to encourage further rabbit writing, which can only be bad news for all.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Word Count Day Nine

The human's at 2374 words for today bringing her to 24,751 total. She was hoping to write more, although she's still on track, but her sinuses were bothering her and she wasn't able to type as much as she wanted. She's planning a big writing day tomorrow to make up for the sinus slowness of today, though, along with hopefully meeting with her accomplices. Oh, such horror is not to be imagined!

Novel Horrors Day Nine

She's still writing, and most alarmingly, she's writing an extremely rabbit heavy scene at the moment. Oh, this doesn't bode well at all. The entire book is too encouraging for those bunnies in the first place, and every time a rabbit character gets page time and lines it just gets worse. The human should be so ashamed of herself. Encouragement is highly dangerous to rabbits.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Word Count Day Eight

The human wrote 4051 words today. Is that enough for our poor neighbors to get disaster relief based on bunny encouragement? The humans has 22,379 words total so far, and it's only the eighth of the month. Those poor neighbors. They are doomed. I wonder if I should go and post a word count on their door so they know to run for their lives?

Novel Horrors Day Eight

Thanks to a time mix-up, the human missed her gathering of accomplices for today. I'm afraid all that means is she'll try even harder to get together with them the next time, though. Anyway, since she couldn't meet the accomplices, the human amused herself trekking to a bakery for a little writing session on her own. I hope that poor bakery was insured and the ice cream store two doors down from it too, because the human took Betsy Bear with her.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Word Count Day Seven

The human wrote 2523 words today, bringing the horrible bunny novel to 18,237 words so far, each word more encouraging to the rabbits than the word before it. Really, I have to figure a way to lock the computer so she can't get on it. She's made it through to what she calls the turning point at the end of the first act, which seems a horrible sign. Act two is scheduled to start tomorrow, and goodness only knows what horrors it will bring since it is supposed to be twice as long.

Continuing Novel Horrors Day Seven

In other horrors of the day, at least the human wasn't able to make it to her horrible gathering if accomplices due to a football game, which you would think would be good news, but I'm afraid it only gave her time to think and develop horrible ideas. She's attending a writing workshop next week, and thanks to her horrible thinking, she has now got some idea in her head about dropping by some place in person to try to sell one of her books. She thinks if they can just meet her, she's sure they'll want her teddy series, so she's making plans to email and see about trying to set up an appointment. And if she sets up an appointment, I just know I will be drafted to go along and supervise those teddies! Have you ever heard something so alarming, me trapped in a hotel with them, and you know what Betsy does at hotels. Isn't making a cat participate in such against some animal cruelty law?

Novel Horrors Day Seven

The human is finishing up her first week of novel horrors today, and she says she's right where she was hoping to be on the novel. Oh, have you ever heard of anything so horrible in your life? I just know she's going to be able to finish the entire, horrible thing in a month. She's almost through with the first quarter of it, according to her, which is a terrible sign. If the bunnies are so happy when she's written a quarter of a novel about them, what are they going to be like when she's finished? I just know those bunnies are going to get horrible ideas thanks to all of this rabbit themed writing and then what are our neighbors going to do for homes?

Friday, November 6, 2009

Word Count Day Six

At least the human had that horrible church to distract her today, so she didn't write as much. She still did 2229 words, bringing her up to 15796 so far. At this rate, I fear she actually might finish the rabbit novel this month, and I fear how a completed book would encourage the bunnies. I wonder if I could borrow the computer battery for a few days?

Novel Horrors Day Six

The human did some checking, and it turns out that that horrible batch of accomplices of hers are having meetings all weekend for the purposes of encouraging writing. Naturally, she's planning to attend everything she can. Really, they should be so ashamed. The rabbits are already highly encouraged, and have obtained more seed for research purposes.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

More Continuing Word Count Day Five

The total word count for today now stands at 4671, bringing her up to 13153 words so far. Have you ever seen something so frightening as those word totals? And, in even worse news, the human's already making plans to meet with her group of accomplaces at least once this weekend. I'm sure they'll encourage her to word heights that I don't even want to think of.

Continuing Word Count Day Five

The human did more writing this morning and cranked out 1142 more words, bringing her up to 11686 total so far. I hold that horrible clown Ronald McDonald responsible for this. He let her get her hands on excessive caffeine last night which gave her a terrible amount of energy for writing. Really, I ought to turn the Hamburgler or even worse, Betsy, loose on that clown to punish him.

Word Count Day Five

Like I said in my previous post, the human wrote 2062 words this morning, which brings her overall word count up to 10544. She has to have 50000 words for the novel writing thing she is working on, and she is hoping to get to 80000 although she didn't think she was writing to the speed where she could manage that in a month just yet. I have serious worries that she is, though. And what am I going to do if she writes tonight as well? Heaven only knows how high her word count for the day might end up being. Really, doesn't she have other things to do for her birthday besides writing such frightening amounts?

Novel Horrors Day Five

The human's birthday is today and as part of her birthday fun, she cranked out another batch of writing on that terrible rabbit story. She wrote 2062 words just this morning, and she is so thrilled that it isn't funny with her progress and how things seem to be fitting together as far as the overall structure and and the outlines suggested suggested in various books she's read on the subject of writing at a speed like this. I don't think you want to know how the rabbits are celebrating.

Continuing Word Count Day Four

The human did another 614 words on that story featuring the teddies and poor Santa, bringing her up to 1804 on that. I wonder if Santa can sue for being endangered so? I just know Betsy, that awful bear is going to want to drop in on Santa for book research purposes. Isn't it bad enough when she took all of his cookies and milk just for fun? Does the human have to now give her a justification for tormenting him?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Word Count Day Four

The human wrote 2204 words on that horrible rabbit story today, bringing her up to 8482 total so far, which means she is right on track with her progress for this horrible story. She's even got tomorrow's writing planned out, featuring rabbits actually doing some detecting. Really, have you ever heard something so alarming?

Novel Horrors Day Four

The human's about to get right to work on her horrible writing so I figure I figure I should update while I can. The bunny book is progressing according to plan, which is naturally making the rabbits happy. That doesn't bode well for our poor neighbors. And, in even worse news, the human has found that some people are working on more than one novel for this month, which is giving her horrible ideas. Really, will the horrors never end? I'm just glad my turkey renters are arriving to check into the pool house tomorrow. They'll keep my mind off of the writing horrors.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Word Count Day Three

The human got back from her writers' gathering with an additional 2081 words of the rabbit story bringing her up to 6277. Honestly, that thing gets more frightening each day, and I don't like how each additional word makes those bunnies bounce about happily celebrating. I keep hoping for writer's block to strike but I'm afraid the human seems on course so far. Does anyone know anything I can do to encourage a block? The bunnies are hoping to post to that terrible gardening list soon to ask other gardeners to take a look.

The Bakery

Betsy Bear returned from terrorizing that poor bakery, and to make matters worse, she brought back a menu as a trophy of all that she snitched. I'm afraid the rabbits got their paws on the thing, and saw where this bakery also offers soups, including loads of vegetarian selections. They're now planning to hop along on the human's next visit to sample the veggies. Oh, horrors! And pretty much every writer's event this month is scheduled in one of these bakeries! They're doomed!

Novel Horrors Day Three

The human is off to meet with her accomplices, and to make matters worse, they are having this meeting at a bakery! Betsy Bear is with the human! Really, I should just go ahead and alert the law now, because that bakery is doomed with that bear roaming free, and if the human's busily committing more alarming writing, you know that she isn't going to be able to supervise Betsy at all. That poor, poor bakery. I hope they have paid their insurance.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Word Count Day Two

The human wrote an additional 2000 words on that rabbit story today, bringing her up to 4196 total so far. Have you ever heard something so alarming? And she's planning to hurry off to bed early, too, so she can get up nice and fresh in the morning and devote all day tomorrow to writing work. She's even got plans to meet with some of her fellow writers or as they should more likely be called accomplices tomorrow for even more alarming writing than I want think about. Really, these accomplices should be reported at once, I know they're going to encourage her, which will only encourage the rabbits and Betsy Bear to cause more trouble.

On the Up Side

On the up side, the human is looking rather sleepy. I made sure her ability to get to caffeine was limited today, and then made sure to keep trotting into her room to meow and paw and generally disturb her so she couldn't get any sleep. She looks like she could drop off to sleep at any moment so perhaps the writing damage will be limited.

Novel Horrors Day Two

The human is making alarming noises about needing the computer to crank out another chapter of that rabbit story, so I need to make this post fast. Really, she should be so ashamed of herself for writing this, given how it's encouraging those rabbits. Our poor, misfortunate neighbors, the ones who have the dogs living with them, are going out of town tomorrow. They are going to come home to find that their house has been taken over by the bunnies for gardening purposes inspired by that human's book. Perhaps I ought to send them a note that they should keep going?

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Continuing Word Count Day One

The human just did a bit more writing, this time on that alarming story featuring the teddies and Christmas. Her word count on that so far is 1190, and she isn't even halfway through the first chapter. Really, she should be ashamed of herself writing a book featuring that horrible Betsy and Santa. I just know it's going to result in poor Santa being attacked.

Word Count Day One

The human just finished cranking out the first chapter of the gardening book, and the rabbits are all hopping around celebrating. Her word count for this horrible thing is at 2196. I wonder if she will get extra credit for pictures of our poor neighbors and the loss of their homes? I've heard each picture is worth a thousand words.

Continuing Novel Horrors Day 1

Oh, and after the human cranks out her required word count for the day for the rabbit story, she's planning to work on a teddy story set at Christmas and involving Santa! Have you ever heard of something so dangerous? Betsy's already making noise about taking a trip to drop in on poor Santa for story research. Really, what in the world is the human thinking? We will end up on Santa's bad list for sure if the human lets that bear visit him and raid his sack for book purposes. Isn't it bad enough what she did to him last Christmas just for fun?

Novel Horrors Day One

The human has started on that horrible rabbit mystery for the novel writing month. Our poor, poor neighbors. Can they hold whoever thought up this month of writing to blame for the impending loss of their homes? The rabbits are encouraging the human to use the people on their little gardening list to help proofread this nightmarish story and you know when the bunnies send chapters around to be proofread, they're also going to be dropping hints about obtaining seeds. I know where some of these horrible people who encourage this noveling are going to be meeting. Should I alert the neighbors so they can go and catch them?

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Novel Writing

I have three hours until that horrible novel writing month starts. I wonder if by any miracle that might be enough time to flee the area? Goodness knows that our neighbors need to flee for their lives right away. I've spotted a couple of the bunnies lurking around the human, giving her ideas for the first book in the bunny gardening series, and I caught her just a bit ago, doing some outlining in her notebook and seeming excited about the ideas she has. That doesn't seem to be a good sign at all, especially since the plot she has in mind involves rabbits planting things. I just know they're going to be able to use the idea of getting a mention in a book to get a ton of seeds handed over to them, and then what in the world will happen to our neighbors?

The Mall

The local shopping mall was foolishly amusing themselves passing out Halloween candy today and to make matters worse, they started nice and early, so I think you can safely guess where Betsy was amusing herself while waiting for those foolish churches to open up this afternoon to produce their candy. Oh, all of those poor, misfortunate children who went up to that mall expecting candy. I can't be in any way held accountable for the poor dears becoming the victims of attacks and raids on their sacks of goodies by that bear, now can I?

Friday, October 30, 2009


I hate the month of November. There is this horrible November event scheduled that is supposed to result in a complete or nearly complete novel by the end of the month and naturally the human had to rush and sign up right away. And of course, the teddies and the rabbits are all enthusiastic about this and are eagerly planning what they can do to assist. I wonder if I ought to go ahead and tell our poor neighbors to flee for their lives? The bunnies are planning another rather large seed order in the name of book research. And as for Betsy Bear, I don't want to know what she's planning, but I'm sure it's some sort of crime and the human has just given her the perfect excuse to get away with it. I wonder where I can hide until November is over?

Polar Bear Property

Has everyone here heard about those polar bears up in Alaska who were just given large tracts of property? Needless to say, my polar bear sisters were thrilled to hear this news, and are thinking about the appropriate gifts to send to their fellow bears for property warming parties. Why do I have a feeling that every sheep in this state is doomed?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Vet

Oh my heavens! The human has really done it this time! She has now invited my VET to this horrible church supper! This is part of some sort of trick to get me involved in assisting with this thing, I just know it. And what am I going to do if these humans don't start working right, and the vet shows up to find there is no food left? You know she will hold me accountable as the only feline around. What a dirty trick on that human's part to force me into providing assistance. She should be ashamed.

More Church News

The human and that church have definitely made up, and she spent more of my valuable blogging time than I want to think of today calling around to check with churches who hadn't replied yet to her advertisement. Really, what is she thinking? I need my computer time, and talking to these places only reminds Betsy of their existence and their potential for having Halloween candy on hand. One foolish church even mentioned they were passing out candy tonight. Really, if they're foolish enough to do that, they almost deserve Betsy getting them.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Human's Back

The human's back and I'm afraid Betsy returned with her, smelling of honey and other yummy treats. I just know she totally robbed that poor hospital, and I can only hope that no one there really wanted to eat today. As for the bunny who hopped along, I'm not even going to try to guess what that rabbit was up to. I'm sure it somehow involves vegetables and won't be good for our poor neighbors and their continuing ability to live in their homes at all.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Annoying Church News

In some annoying church news, the human talked to the church that made her cry, and apparently all is forgiven. She's planning to start doing more work for that terrible place as soon as she gets home tomorrow. Really, I wonder if I'll have time to trot down the computer store and buy a lock for the laptop while she's gone. I need this computer for blogging purposes and her church stuff takes an alarming amount of time.

Human's Ankle

The human goes in tomorrow to get a pin out of her ankle, and supervising the teddies and my name are being mentioned alarmingly in the same sentence. I think she's plotting to leave me in charge. I wonder if I have time to call the place where she is going for this to alert them? Betsy is planning to stow away, and I just know she is going to commit who knows how many robberies. And I don't even want to think about what possible reason the bunnies have for planning to go as well. I'm sure whatever they're up to won't bode well at all.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


I wonder if the zoo has noticed those missing penguins and zebras yet? I don't know what in the world I am going to do if the authorities come looking for them. They're all camped out in the back I suspect waiting for daylight so they can start partying again. Really, it's a wonder the neighbors haven't alerted the law on them. There are penguin feathers and I don't want to think of what else scattered everywhere.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Even More Issues

Oh, this is getting ridiculous. Now Zenobia Zebra is out there in the back yard too, helping hang out party decorations and putting out little selections of food like apples and carrots with toothpicks in them. I'll bet she's invited all of the zebras from the zoo and from who knows where else too, to pop over! The black and white decorations do go with both penguins and zebras after all, so both groups will match the party. I wonder if the police have ever had to come out for penguins and zebras having an excessive party gone wild?

More Penguin Issues

Oh, and the penguins have been gathering alarming amounts of penguin movies and television programs as well, for entertainment for this party they have planned. I don't even want to think of the number of disks they have to show to all of their little penguin friends. How long are these other penguins going to be here that they think they'll have time to watch all of that?

Tuna and Black and White Buntings

How worried do you suppose I should be? My penguin siblings are wadding around the back yard hanging up a bunch of black and white penguin colored buntings all around the fence and from every place they can get to. Granted as penguins they are pretty short and can't reach high, but given enough time I just know they'll find the ladder and decide to try it. I don't like what they're doing with the tuna, either. They snatched every can they could find, and all of the salmon too, and have made little balls out of them, with toothpicks poking out. They're planning to serve little penguin appetizers! They used an entire box of 1000 toothpicks the human had for cake decorating purposes so I think you can imagine how truly alarming this is. How many penguins are they expecting that they need this much party food?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Video Games

The human has discovered more alarming video games that she can play online, I am very sorry to say. On the up side, it did distract her rather nicely from that church issue, and her being online is keeping Betsy Bear and the bunnies from getting onto Google Earth. It's cutting drastically into my computer time, though, especially with her saying she just needs to play one more level every five seconds. I ought to password protect this thing for my use only. I really should.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

That Annoying Church

The church has really done it this time, and for once what they have done doesn't in any way, shape or form involve encouragement of my delinquent siblings. They have made my human cry! After the five or six hours she's spent, hunting down and sending emails to promote this dinner, not to mention time spent replying to emails, time that I should have had on the computer chatting on this blog, the church has decided to completely ignore what my poor human has done, and are preparing dinner for under 100 people, when my human has invited every church in town, including all of the megachurches. So, needless to say she's crying her eyes out, because of all of the time she spent trying to make things work but she thinks that they don't really want her to be involved in the activity stuff, which was making her so happy. Does anyone know what to do to comfort a heartbroken human? Even if it was annoying and totally messed up my computer time, she was really happy doing this, and the rejection has just crushed her. I ought to send Betsy down there to raid their refrigerator. That would serve them right.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Trick or Treating

Now the rabbits are getting into the act and wanting to go trick or treating a well. Somehow they found out about this thing called candy corn that is passed out on Halloween, and they want to gather some for a crop for next year. I'm sure they want to raid pumpkins for seed too. I wonder if I could check into jail until this terrible, terrible holiday is over?

Church and Halloween

I think our town must have the most foolish churches around. It seems that all of them are amusing themselves hosting trick or treating events, and to make matters even worse, these events are spread out over the next two weekends. I hope they're insured is all that I can say, because Betsy Bear has out maps and is hard at work marking out a route to maximize her candy gathering capacity. The poor, poor children who are planning to attend all of this too. I hope they weren't really attached to the idea of getting candy.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Even More Google Earth Issues

Now the human is wanting to poke at Google Earth too, in order to hunt down cemeteries and dead relatives! Really, I have never heard of one computer program that could be so troublesome. I am so doomed as long as this is on the computer that it isn't funny. Really, what sort of lunatic created this program and how can I turn them over to the funny farm?

Even Worse Thing about Google Earth

I just realized that the horrible Google Earth program could be used by Betsy Bear too, to track down bees in their little hives, along with the dens of poor, defenseless bears! Really, what in the world were the people who created this thinking of? It's the perfect tool for crime! Oh, I definitely have to delete this right away. I'm sure if I leave it on the computer that will make me count as an accessory to the crimes it will lead to.

Google Earth

Some foolish person has introduced the rabbits to the pleasure of Google Earth, and now they're demanding I get off the computer at once so they can play with it and look up all of their little rabbit friends' burrow addresses! Oh, this program is going to be such a pain that I don't even want to think of it, and heaven help us all if the penguins start to use it. I'm sure it will give them bad ideas for locating more penguins to invite over for parties. I really must delete it from the computer the second those bunnies hop off to the fridge for a snack. It's much too dangerous to be left on here.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Even More Church Issues

The human spent another three hours online hunting down churches to send announcements to as part of her second wave of publicity. Honestly, have you ever heard of something so horrible in your life? She's sent to pretty much every denomination she could think of and a few she probably just dreamed up. Really, this is going to totally mess up my computer time if she keeps up at this pace and what in the world am I going to do when she insists on computer time for flyer construction?

Pumpkin Seed Church

The church where those alarming amounts of pumpkin seed were obtained have replied to the human's message about that stew dinner, and they were horribly friendly with their offers to help. Really, they probably know the rabbits live here and want to encourage bunny drop in visits to their pumpkin patch. Or possibly they're plotting to get the rabbits to grow and supply pumpkins for them next year. Either way, the rabbits think somethin must be done to thank these nice humans and why do I have a feeling it is going to result in a church visit and seeding?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Pumpkin Seed

The rabbits are hard at work, plotting to get their paws on more pumpkin seed. The foolish church that has these unguarded seed is alarmingly close to the store where the human gets her allergy medicine. I suspect the bunnies plan to hide the box so she has to go out for more, and thus they can stow away and hop off for seed gathering while she's in the store. Do you suppose I ought to alert the human to this rabbit plot? They're planning to bring a little seeding scoop to make the seed gathering go faster.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

More Church Issues

You know, I thought back when that turkey dinner was converted to a beef stew supper, I thought it would be a good thing, so the turkeys I'm expecting in any day now to hide out for Thanksgiving wouldn't be alarmed. Little did I know. Now that there are three weeks to go until this event, the human is pressing hard to promote it, which means increased computer usage on her part and decreased blogging time for me! Really, she just spent two or three hours looking up churches and email addresses to send announcements to, which severely cut my internet time. What if it's like this every day until this meal is served?

I Blame the Church

The human decided to visit a batch of church sales today, along with a bookstore due to the weather taking a turn for the nippy. One of these foolish churches was daring to have a PUMPKIN sale at the same time as their rummage sale. I think that you can guess what happened. They had some pumpkins that had been damaged and were laying unattended and just packed with seed ripe for the taking. There are now several hundred pumpkin seed on the counter drying. Our poor, poor neighbors. Can they sue this church for this?

Friday, October 16, 2009

If They Don't Go to the Country

In even worse news, if the humans don't go to the country, my human is talking about going to some archive to do some genealogy work and expand that terrible, terrible family tree. Really, I'm not sure what thing would be the worse, a visit to the country and being forced to try to supervise Betsy and the bunnies or having that tree sprout new branched. I wonder if I have time to hide her genealogy notebook?

Human Plans

I wonder if I could hide with my cat mother this weekend? I'm afraid the human is making rather alarming plans that I don't want to be associated with in any way, shape or form. She's been talking about visiting the country more than I like, saying how peaceful it is and how she could get so much writing done. Really, what is she thinking? Think of how many crimes Betsy Bear could commit, and does poor Farmer Turley really need a visit from the rabbits? She's been saying that I really ought to go to the country with them, too, which makes me think she's planning to mark me down for bear and bunny supervision duty. I think I must pop out to my mother's house tomorrow to be on the safe side.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Frog

Can a frog be billed for a pool cleanup, not that I have any idea how in the world the humans are ever going to clean up the pool after what that frog did. For some insane reason, he decided that he wanted the pool to match himself so the little thing hopped in one day while I was napping and made off with some of the human's cake coloring. She had leaf green and emerald green and some sort of Christmasy green, and probably a few other greens as well. You don't want to know what our poor pool looks like now after the frog has redecorated and I want to know how he can be billed for this.

Penguin Escape

Now that I've had time to think on it, perhaps it would be best if the zoo penguins drove off in a catering van after all. We aren't far from the zoo and surely if they drove slowly with several penguins steering and a couple to navigate they couldn't get into too much trouble. Certainly they couldn't get in as much trouble as some humans do behind the wheel. My penguin siblings have been checking our fish supplies and making alarming noises about fish usage for their party. I refuse to hand over all of our tuna, so if those zoo penguins are planning to party here, they'll just have to bring their own supplies.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Penguin Costumes

I want the zoo to know right now that I am in no way, shape, or form responsible for this, and I refuse to be held to blame just because I share a home with a batch of delinquent penguins. They were doing some poking around and found a scene in this thing called Mary Poppins featuring penguins waddling around with trays impersonating waiters. Needless to say, they thought this was a great disguise and emailed the zoo penguins right away about it. The penguins will probably be able to escape in a catering truck now if all goes well! I can only hope they don't try to drive it. I'm sure they aren't licensed.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Zoo

The local zoo is foolishly hosting a Halloween event running for two weeks this month. All I can say is that they are so doomed it isn't funny, and I can't possibly be held accountable for the disaster resulting from their foolish decision. There will be people trotting all over the zoo in costume, which will make it the perfect time for jail breaks. I spotted an email my penguin siblings sent to the zoo penguins with instructions for mask construction, and I don't even want to look at what Zenobia Zebra sent out. All of the penguins, and likely the zebra herd too, are plotting their escape during this by pretending they're humans in costume! And then they're going to trot over here to party! Honestly, the zoo should be ashamed of themselves for setting up the circumstances that will lead to these perfect escapes, and I want it known now that I am not to blame! I just hope the neighbors buy that when the yard and house are packed full of partying penguins and zebras.

Monday, October 12, 2009


I was checking the human's iTunes downloads a bit ago and it's alarming to see how many of them relate to that awful, awful tree. What's even worse, though, is that someone has actually put together a podcast on woodpeckers and woodpecker eviction! Does anyone know how I can go about filing a complaint with iTunes about offering such a horrible program without an explicit label? I'm sure it would greatly offend my tenants if they knew of it.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Speaking of the Woodpecker

Speaking of my woodpecker tenants, I just found that youtube has a woodpecker channel, running woodpecker videos. Am I required to offer my tenants internet access so they can watch these woodpecker programs? Right now they just have access to basic cable but they're making noise about wanting educational viewing as well, which they claim these woodpecker programs would provide.


Is it legal to require tenants to list their specific species when they're filling out a rental application, or could they potentially try claiming some sort of discrimination? The grandhuman is a bit upset that my woodpecker tenant has invited a batch of his woodpecker friends to move in here and install holes right next to his. Of course, I'm thrilled to have more tenants, but the grandhuman is complaining terribly. So, I was thinking if I knew the woodpeckers' species, well, did you know there are some woodpeckers you absolutely can't evict no matter what?

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Jail Location

I just found out that for some reason my cat mother has been placed in a jail up towards the country where Betsy Bear and the bunnies have amused themselves causing havoc. How concerned do you think that I should be about this? Do you that I need to call my mother and let her know she should deny all knowledge of that bear and perhaps claim an allergy to bunnies? I would hate for her to end up accidentally put down as an accessory to them.

Friday, October 9, 2009

The Poor Senior Citizens

I would suggest if you qualify as a senior citizen and live anywhere in the immediate area that you flee at once. The human seems to be making fairly good progress on that book she is writing involving a senior center and she's even talking about popping around to one to do research. I just know if she does, Betsy Bear will stow away for a visit as well. Isn't what she did to those poor seniors during that yard sale bad enough? I wonder if those poor things issued warnings to their fellow seniors to be on the lookout for that bear? I do hope so, especially since the human has an idea for which center to visit for research purposes, and it's a nice one. It would be a shame if Betsy destroyed it.

Cat Mother and Jail

I just got the news that my cat mother has been booked for a jail cell for this weekend and possibly the next week while her humans play at the beach. She really, really did pick a good time to report to lockup, too, because that human is planning to write all weekend, which will lead to a horrible lack of supervision for those teddies and especially for the rabbits. I'm sure her humans would hold her totally accountable if they came home to find the rabbits had hopped down and converted their sun room into an indoor garden while they were away. Not to mention, hopefully after staying indoors for a bit in a cozy cell, my mother will decide to convert to the life of an indoor cat.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Great News!

I finally have some good seed news for a change! The cotton seed arrived today, and just in time too, as the polar bears have been grumbling about the weather getting nippy, and looking at Shelia Sheep and the scissors in a rather alarming manner. Now I just have to find a pot so I can get some cotton planted right away. Surely if I can fool them into thinking wool grows on plants, they will leave the sheep alone.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Giant Pumpkin

I just found a truly nightmarish report on a pumpkin weighing in at 1725 pounds. Oh, I shudder to imagine a vegetable of that size, and you don't want to imagine how the bunnies reacted to the news of this terrible thing. And in even worse news, the human who was insane enough to grow this is offering seeds from it for free! Do you know how many seeds a pumpkin of that size likely has? And, of course, the rabbits are planning to write in right away for some and are already making pumpkin feeding plans for next year. I hope the neighbors have their insurance paid up.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

More Book Doom

As if it isn't bad enough that the human is writing stuff with those teddies and the rabbits, that I'm sure will eventually land me in jail, but now she's gotten an idea for a couple of stories based on things she's found on that terrible tree of hers! She's thinking of a couple of archive trips, just to make sure she gets the entire, horrible thing down correctly! Really, how did I end up with this much bad luck? You would think with all of those rabbit feet hanging around here, I would be fairly safe from such terrible luck.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Seed Orders

Apparently a few of the places the bunnies requested seeds from have worked out that they are rabbits, and shouldn't be given such an extensive gardening education, because they're refusing to hand over seeds. Normally that would be a good thing, bur unfortunately, the rabbits have taken this denial as a challenge and now they're demanding I get offline so they can poke around and work out how to get the seeds they want handed over. Really, it would have been so much easier on me if those places had just handed over the seed without a fuss. Sure, the neighbors would be homeless by May, but at least my computer time wouldn't be disturbed.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


A couple of new cousins just amused themselves emailing the human last night, and of course that's got her right back to poking and that horrible tree again. Does anyone know how to install a relative filter onto her email program so she doesn't continue to get these dangerous mails? I believe something especially dangerous called a reunion might be in the planning stages and I want to nip that horrid idea right in the bud.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Cow Robbery

To make the day even worse, this relative of the humans happens to live alarmingly close to where a batch of cows have their pasture. Some of my rabbit siblings stowed away in the car, and I just know that they harassed these poor cows for their manure! The cows are supposed to be saving that manure to be sold to help make ends meet and to purchase hay and other cow treats! How in the world are they ever going to explain to the farmer they live with if they let a batch of bunnies talk them out of it?

Power Failure

The power at the country cottage has been cut or if they haven't got around to turning the lights up there off yet, they surely will soon. The power company had a meeting for all of their happy customers this morning, followed by a meal, each individual lunch all tucked in a convenient sack. Unfortunately for this poor power company, the location where they chose to have this was along the route the humans chose to take while returning their allergic relative home. And in even worse news, it was right by a church sale known for good deals that the human just had to stop at. Betsy Bear was in the car, and I think you can safely guess what happened. What do you think the electric company can do to punish us besides cutting the lights? The trunk was full of empty sacks when that bear returned.