Friday, September 30, 2011

Country Tomorrow

The rabbits are planning a little trip to the country tomorrow, for that annual fall festival, and, I am sure, to size up things for a potential move. I probably ought to make plans to spend the weekend in bed now, so that I'll have a alibi. Goodness knows what trouble the rabbits will get into, especially if anyone is foolishly selling seed like they did last year, and Betsy is lagging out piles of snitching sacks, even as I type, in anticipation of robbing anyone foolish enough to try to sell food at this event. And you know that awful bear is supporting the plan to move if the bully's mother gets elected. If she's living in country, it will make it so much easier for her to rob the happy picnickers, campers and boaters, after all. I do hope the country has insurance.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Lack of Feathers

There is a distinct lack of feathers in this place, at least feathers besides the outfit that my woodpecker tenant is currently wearing. I checked the pillows, only to find that they're stuffed with something the polar bears will surely mistake for wool, should they every spot it. Really, how in the world am I going to tar and feather Nick the Cat for inflicting such horrible luck on me if I can't find some feathers? And he richly deserves tarring and feathering too. I woke up this morning to a bunny measuring my bed, to figure out how best to pack it for the potential move to the country, and a batch of other rabbits, taking an inventory of my property, and wanting to know if I would absolutely need everything! Maybe I will catch the bus. It runs right by a bird store, and surely some of those creatures would be willing to donate their old feathers for such a good cause as punishing Nick the Cat for causing this trouble!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tarring and Feathering

I have the tar, not that it will show up on Nick's fur, but at least it will make the feathers stick, that is, if I ever get my paws on some feathers. I thought about asking my woodpecker tenant for some feathers he wasn't planning to wear again, but it turns out he donates all of his used feathers to some sort of bird charity, for birds who are down on their luck, and who are forced to actually nest in trees instead of cozy holes like he has. And when I asked the bunnies about hopping to the store for a sack of craft feathers, they were too busy, consoling the human over her remembrance of the trauma of being bullied and telling her how they would love to live in the country,and that they're sure the move will be a good thing if it comes to that. It looks like I'm going to have to rob a pillow, but that horrible cat will be feathered yet for causing me this horrible luck!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Possible Move

Nick the Cat is to blame for this! I know he is! That rotten feline! Even though he is already black, I will see him tarred for this, and feathered too! That horrible, horrible cat! He ought to be ashamed of himself! The mother of the human's high school bully is running for election, and the human is saying if she wins, that we will be moving to the country so she won't be forced to be reminded of her school torment for the next four years. She looks like she's about to cry, thinking about the bully, so I think she might be serious about the moving thing. The country! I might be forced to become a country kitty! And did you know that the bloc of feline voters has been disenfranchised, so I can't even do anything to try to save myself by trotting to the polls and voting for someone else?

Monday, September 26, 2011

Dogs, Just When You Were Doing Good

Dogs, just when you were doing well, and I thought you might be getting the hang of proper behavior, you go and do this. Really, you should be so ashamed. The human limped down to the food co-op, that den of rabbit encouragement, this morning, in search of something to use to help her poor foot. And do you know what they had there? Dog drinking fountains set up right in the front, and even worse, dog BEDS, undoubtedly so you canines could take a snooze between helping rabbit customers hop to their vehicles with their vegetable and seed purchases! The horrors! The sheer HORRORS! Oh, dogs, you should be so ashamed, at such obvious signs of rabbit collaboration, and vegetable assistance. You should be ashamed!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Definitely Better

Oh, and now my dino sisters are saying they have some dinosaur relations working at that park my woodpecker tenant's uncle is associated with! A nice long vacation is in my future for sure. The one thing that I am a bit concerned about, though, is that there's a water ride in the section of the park that this dinosaurs are employed in. Really, those kinds of rides are so annoying, and would you believe they don't even have fish in the water? What's the use of water without fish? But the dinosaurs seem rather proud of it. What if they expect me to take a ride on it when I get down there? When the human toured this park before she mentioned seeing feline tourists in that section, undoubtedly being forced on the ride by dinosaurs! I might get wet!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Better and Better

Now the dinosaurs are getting involved in my vacation plans. Really, this is going so well, I dont' know why I didn't try recruiting my siblings ages ago. Danica Dinosaur and Tracy Triceratops happened to be strolling by when some of the bears were looking at the brochure for the mouse's park, and they pounced on it, flipped through a few pages and then started showing off pictures of other dinosaurs, cousins of theirs, who have found work there. They even have an entire section of one of the parks devoted to them, and to dino activities. Now to get those two to writing their relations as well. I can smell a free trip and a cheese feast in my immediate future for sure!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Library Charges

While poking around and checking out those comics starring that bunny who lives with the mouse, my rabbit siblings happened upon some comics starring my woodpecker tenant's uncle. Naturally, they hopped out to his hole to alert him to this literature, and now he's wanting to fly in, to do a bit of reading. Do you suppose I can use the library usage to justify increasing his rent? Although, now that I think about it, his uncle does have connections, down in Florida, just down the road from the giant rodent's park. Maybe I can draft the woodpecker into my vacation plans too! Birds have a tendency to go sourh, after all, around this time of year, at least the ones who haven't planned in advance and rented a nice home from me. Even though he has a snug hole, perhaps the woodpecker would like to take a trip south for old time's sake, on a bus to save on his wings. I understand the park his uncle does business with caters to feline tourists. I can take an extra long vacation and see EVERYTHING!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Better, Dogs, But Not Quite

Dogs, you are doing better. I must give you an A for effort. The human dropped by the local mission this afternoon, and several of you barked rather vigorously at her. Now, the local mission is the place that keeps letting various homeless creatures trot off with the human, but this is where the problem was. The human had stopped there today, not to collect more siblings for me, but to pick up some mouse items, mouse music and mouse toys, designed to put my mice siblings in the mood to visit their big rodent cousin. That sort of thing is what I DON'T want discouraged. I suggest looking in the window, to check the items in the human's hands first, before barking from now on.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Continuing Wart Issues

The human continues to have issues with that wart, and now, horror of horrors, she says if things don't improve in a couple of weeks, she's going to a doctor about it. What if they want to surgically remove it? The last time she had to have some sort of surgery, with that messed up ankle, my service was severely limited, not to mention how my tail was endangered from the wheelchair. I will get Nick the Cat for this! He is responsible! I know it! He got his little dog friend to trot over her and infect her with that papillon virus, and now see the trouble it is causing me!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Falling Vegetables

I've been trying to lay low, in the hopes that should the human end up dog-sitting, that the rabbits won't spot me and drag me along. I think the bunnies might be on to me though. This morning, when the human was trying to get her breakfast from the freezer, and I had my nose poked out in search of cheese, I was nearly bopped on the ears with a container holding a batch of OKRA! I know the bunnies were to blame for this falling vegetable. They probably thought that it would be a perfect distraction, so they could pounce on me, and slip my leash on in preparation for dog-sitting duty! I was lucky to escape in time! Who knows what they might try next, though, since the okra didn't work. They'll probably come after me with a can of beans, or possibly spinach!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Possible Dog-Sitting Scheduled

Oh, this is the stuff of nightmares. The human, who my canine cousins live with, just had a relation who dared to schedule their demise. Such a rat, and if I could, I would have the deceased prosecuted! So now the human is planning to offer to dog-sit the two canines, so they won't be forced to stay home alone for the duration of the funeral! The rabbits have already eagerly offered their assistance with this dog-sitting, and now they're glaring at me, expecting me to raise my paw and offer to help too. And if I don't, you know they'll just sign me up regardless of my wishes. Dog-sitting. What in the world will I do, if other cats find out I have been DOG-SITTING?

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Wart and Nick the Cat

The human did some research on her little wart issue, and it turns out, I might have wrongly accused those frogs. Not that they are not the laziest creatures I've ever seen, well deserving of suspicion, but still, it looks like they didn't cause this bit of trouble. It seems that the wart results from some sort of pap something or other virus. It looks suspiciously like papillon to me, and a dog of that species is a known associate of Nick the Cat! That rotten cat probably recruited his dog associate into helping him, and afflicting my human, knowing all of the trouble it would cause me, to have her laid up with foot function sorely limited. I will get that cat, I swear I will!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I Love Comics!

Oh, I'm absolutely loving the comics that my siblings have taken to reading, starring the giant mouse and his duck friend. It's getting their minds turned towards vacationing, which can only be good for me. I can almost taste the cheese now. To get to that size, you know that mouse has to have a ton of cheese. And now the bunnies are looking interested. They came hopping in, wanting to check the card catalog online for a book about work, only for a comic, with a bunny in it, to catch their eye and distracted them. So now they're questioning the mice closely, wanting to find out if this bunny does autograph and picture sessions. I'm sure if he does, it means he's as large as the mouse. Frightening amounts of vegetables they grow down there, after all. But there is an up side. If the bunnies can meet this rabbit, they'll hop off to loiter around his garden, to stuff themselves with salad, and I won't have to deal with them! And if they stuff themselves enough, they'll be too full to harass me about work! Win-Win!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Proposed Ban

It would be so easy for the library to get the bunnies and their book borrowing under control. Really, I don't know what they're waiting for. One of their branches is right down the street, and I'm sure in the path of the bunnies planned gardening. I won't even say that the rabbits shouldn't be allowed to borrow books at all. I'm sure there are some books that are harmless for bunnies to read. Perhaps those books starring their relation Peter, although more of those books than I'm sure are safe are set in gardens. The author did write a book starring a kitten, though. The bunnies could be permitted to borrow that, or maybe one of her duck books. Really, the real problem is the bunnies getting books on work and gardening. All the librarians would have to do is check for long, floppy ears every time someone comes to check those books out. It wouldn't be hard at all. And hopping. The hopping is a dead giveaway too.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Library Policies

The local library has decided to bar certain humans called sex offenders from their doors. Frankly, those sorts are very annoying humans, and I am glad to hear that they have been banned. I don't know why in the world they were ever issued cards to begin with, although, seeing as the library is happy to hand out those cards to every rabbit that hops in the door, expressing an interesting in reading, I guess they aren't exactly selective. Now, if that place can ban patrons, now that they're starting to clean out some of the trouble-making humans, why can't they do something about the bunnies? They allowed them to hop off with another book on work, just this afternoon, that I'm sure bodes ill for me! That sort of thing needs to be banned as well!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Feline Comic

The mice were poking around, looking for more comics starring their cousin and his Duck buddy, when they found something interesting and hurried to share. It seems a CAT has got his own comic book! Take a look! It's not the best picture, I will admit, but he's on the right side between purple girl and blue boy, and down from Mister Horns.

Nice, isn't it? After so many years of that flying dog, getting a book, it's good to see felines finally getting their just place in the comic book world. Sure he has to share the book with a few aliens, but you know, as a cat, who is really in charge. And not only is he a cat, but he's an Earth cat, which in this sort of book means he'll likely end up team leader sooner or later. I recommend you go out and purchase this issue right away. I think I'll be dispatching the bunnies soon, to hop off to the store to get my copy!

Oh, and he has a TOY too!

You know many human comic characters have gone years and still don't have toys!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Making Mice Write

I have to force those mice to compose a letter to their cousin right away, so I can get vacation planning scheduled. Oh, the horror I am facing, and fleeing to visit the mice's cousin is the only way I will be safe. The humans are planning another work trip to the country next month and you know how fond the rabbits are of anything involving work. If I don't have a vacation planned, they'll capture me for sure! If I can schedule a trip, though, and I'm sure the bunnies would want to go as well, seeing as it's the season for that big food festival when vegetables are out full force, then I will be safe! Now where is a pen and paper, or do you suppose I ought to have the mice go with emailing their cousin?

Monday, September 12, 2011

Vacation Packing

I've decided to do a bit of planning, so I'll be ready when my mouse siblings and the bears too, finally hear from their relatives the good news that and invitation to visit has been extended. I thought I would start by working out what to pack. I know the toy mice are out, so I was thinking possibly my lizard or a large ball of string for that. Clothing is the issue that concerns me, though. I wonder how felines are expected to dress when calling on mice? Do you suppose I should pack my dress collar? And what about my sweaters?

Sunday, September 11, 2011


The human is playing around with that online map thing again, but I can't object at all at this time. She just pulled up a view of the park my mouse siblings' relation owns and is looking through it. And the mice are lounging on the bed, looking over her shoulder. Seeing pictures of their relative's cozy home are sure to make them want to take a trip down there to visit him, and of course, it would be horribly rude for them to go without their big cat brother, now wouldn't it? Perhaps I ought to change the human's screensaver to flash pictures of the park, to put the mice in the mood.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Bad Luck Squad

The bad luck squad has really done it, and I do hope that all decent ebony furred cats will finally rise up, and take steps to bring these horrible felines into line, before your color is disgraced forever. The bunnies dropped by that church sale again, the one that seems determined to supply them with every bit of linen they need to transform the country cottage into a rabbit paradise, only to learn that one of the ladies waiting on them was injured while feeding a batch of cats, including a black one. Of course, she said this black feline looked like the cat who owns her, obviously a cousin, so I'm sure he wasn't to blame for her terrible luck. Nick the Cat and his relations were obviously lurking, possibly hidden in a shrub, spreading bad luck and framing innocent felines. Really, now that they've done it once, who knows what other decent cats they might try their paw at framing next. Something must be done about that lot, before it is too late!

Friday, September 9, 2011

My Plan

My plan is going very well, if I do say so myself. I casually pushed that brochure for the mouse's park under the noses of some of my bear siblings today, and remarked on the bear on the center page, wanting to know if he was a relation. They took a look and started exclaiming on how he was their cousin, who they hadn't seen in ages, and then they begin to go on about how wonderful it was that he had done so well for himself, finding a place with that mouse. Then some of the bears that the human has allowed to visit the park before started going on about how nice the place was, and how happy their cousin has to be, being able to live there. Oh, it will be no trouble at all, to convince them they should write him, to see about a visit! Maybe he will even send money, along with that mouse, for bus fare! And, if all of the teddies went, oh, my! I'm sure we would have the bus to ourselves, without any humans to cause a problem, besides the human to drive. My whiskers are quivering just thinking about it. And really, it isn't like the bears would all need full seats, so think of all of the lovely space I would have, to stretch out and play online the entire trip down!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Mall Report

The human dropped by the local mall today. Normally this would be an alarming bit of news, since they have a teddy adoption center there, but I think the visit might work out to my benefit. She picked up a brochure on the park my mouse siblings' cousin runs, you see, and they've been pouring over it ever since she brought it home. I am sure they are wanting to go, and in ever better news for me, it seems that their large mouse cousin has taken to hanging out with another BEAR too, besides the yellow one that always strolls around with that large honey pot, just daring Betsy to rob him. There was a picture of this new bear in the brochure, and he looks very much like several of my siblings! I'm sure he's a relation as well, so perhaps I can draft the bears into my plan, to get down to the park, and the cheese buffet I'm sure is present! Oh, I can just smell the cheese now, in every flavor and kind!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Neighbors and the Bad Luck Crew

The humans came in from the store today commenting on how our neighbor's house, the one that Nick the Cat's relations seem to love lurking around to terrorize the humans, seems to be deserted. There was much speculation on if the neighbors had moved. Not that I could blame them if they did. Being trapped and tormented by those cats, it isn't like they got much use out of the property they were paying for so it makes perfect sense they would want to flee to a bad luck feline free zone. But then there is the matter of the house. With those horrible, rotten cats lurking around, I'm sure it won't sell. And what if they figure out a way to get in? They could declare the entire place their property, not just the porch, and invite every family member they have to move in with them! With that much bad luck, concentrated in one spot, oh, I shudder to think of the possible disasters that might ensue! I might have to to demand the bunnies recruit more of their friends and relations to live here, for the protection their big feet can offer!


I'm not sure if Nick the Cat's relations have found a way to deliver bad luck from the shelter of our neighbor's porch, or if this is a continuation of the bad luck that arrived on Sunday. I suppose it's a continuation of that, or at least I hope it is. The human called the local flower shop, a den of rabbit collaborators if ever there was one, to order a plant for that funeral. I was okay with that, since she didn't go down there, or take any bunnies down there, which would surely lead to plant purchases for themselves, and then I saw the card the human had written out, telling them what to put on the plant. She had my name signed to it! MY NAME! So now, I'm sure I'm on the hook for part of the cost of that plant! I had never even met the deceased! Why should I be forced to pay for a flower, just because my name was forged on a plant card?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Rain Again

It is raining again. The bunnies held a dance last night, after the car was pulled in by that awful truck, and this is the result. They thought that a bit of rain might help those shrubs damaged by Nick the Cat's kind, and I have to admit that I approve, not of the possible plant benefits, of course, but of the rain itself. With any luck it will wash away that horrible family's attempts to claim my property as their territory. And, in an added benefit, as long as the rain is falling, those rotten cats are trapped on our neighbor's porch, and thus can't drop off bad luck for me! Of course, that does mean our neighbors can't leave their home, but surely by now with how those cats hang around, they've learned to stock up on food, so they won't starve. And, anyway, my dodging more bad luck is much more important than their being able to eat, don't you think?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Horrors! The Sunday Horrors!

Oh, the horrors I have experienced today. I suggest you send all small children, kittens and sensitive souls away before reading this. I will wait.

Are they gone? Okay, if they aren't I am not to blame. I warned you. First, the humans got the news that a relation had managed to schedule their demise, thus necessitating them rushing off to a funeral down in Georgia. And naturally, my siblings decided to go as well. At least the rabbits managed to look properly mournful while loitering in the back seat, with their ears dropped and suitably funeral appropriate expressions on their faces. Betsy, on the other hand, had an expression of glee as she polished her pie spoon and fork. Georgia, as I'm sure you all know is well known for their peaches and pecans, and of course those tree products are good for one thing in that bear's opinion, pie, possibly with large helpings of ice cream on the side. I am afraid to think of how many people were left with only empty pie plates to show for their baking, while those humans were in the funeral home, and Betsy was unsupervised. Then, on their way home, the car stopped on the humans. They had to get some sort of giant truck to drag it the rest of the way home. My napping was totally wrecked, with the noise that thing made when it pulled the car home. And it might return too, to drag the vehicle off to the repair shop if the humans can't get it to start again, so I suppose I ought to count tomorrow's nap, or possibly Tuesday's as a total waste too!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Country and Insurance

I hope those poor people who have the misfortune to live in the country or like to go there to picnic had a chance to double their insurance, for they will surely need it after this afternoon. The humans went up there again, for another go at the yard, and naturally the bunnies and Betsy accompanied them. The bunnies came home with damp ears from swimming with the cows, and Betsy returned with cookie crumbs in her fur, smelling of stolen sandwiches and cake. I wonder how much sandwich insurance costs? I'm sure there are going to be a ton of claims on those policies after the holiday. And, to make matters worse, the lawnmower broke down again, which means a third trip will be necessary. I wonder, if I call everyone I can think of, to warn them, and alert all of the campgrounds, if everyone will have time to move?

Friday, September 2, 2011

The Country

The humans went to the country today, to tend the yard up there. Naturally the rabbits hopped along, planning to drop in on their friends the cows to collect more manure, to try to repair the bush Nick the Cat's relations damaged, not to mention taking a dip in the cows' personal swimming hole. Before they could hop off, though, the humans' lawn mower broke, and thus they had to return home. Needless to say, the bunnies were not pleased, and those horrible bad luck cats that are loitering at our neighbor's, trapping them in their dwelling, are prime suspects in their view. I suspect Betsy more, though. If the lawn mower is fixed, the humans will have to return to the country tomorrow, you see. And, due to those scheduled fireworks this weekend, Betsy naturally felt the weekend would be a much better time for picnickers, their baskets stuffed with sandwiches, cookies, sodas and other goodies, to be in the area. Massive amounts of thefts are planned, I am sure. I just hope all of those poor, misfortunate picnickers thought to purchase insurance, before taking off for their weekend fun, for they will surely need it when Betsy is through with them.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Getting Rid of Bad Luck Continued

I happened to glance at the calendar today, and realized something. The humans have an event scheduled for this weekend involving those annoying fireworks things, that I think might work perfectly in my plot to repel Nick the Cat's relations, before they can present me with more bad luck. Perhaps one of those fireworks could be misaimed, to singe a tail or whiskers. Wouldn't that be amusing, and sure to send those horrible bad luck causing disgraces of cats fleeing the zip code?