Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Success

I'm very sorry to announce that Betsy has declared this Halloween a complete success, which means that many children will be trotting to their school guidance counselors on Monday, in search of help to recover from the trauma of their robberies. Those poor, poor children. And apparently they all visited the churches' candy fests too, before trotting over here, so their sacks, pillowcases and plastic pumpkins were quite full when they arrived. Needless to say, Betsy soon relieved them of all of that. If any parents are reading this, you can drop by tomorrow to pick up the remains. Pillowcases will be hanging from the fence by the egg gourds. Please see the rabbits if you're looking for a plastic pumpkin.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Child Bait Prepared

The human has 65 bags packed full of child bait, ready to be passed out to those poor, misfortunate trick or treaters. Those poor, poor children. The human made sure to pack the bags nice and full, too, with loads of things that are sure to lure lots of children to the door, once they hear what the human is passing out from all of their little friends. And Betsy will be waiting, ready to rob them as soon as they trot away. I think I will have to go into hiding tomorrow, least I get tangled up in the ensuing police investigation.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Horror Has Begun

Well, the horror season started today, and if anyone comes checking, I do hope my loyal blog readers will let the authorities know that I was on here, warning people, and can't possibly be blamed for the horrors that struck this evening. Betsy came trotting in with a giant sack, packed full of goodies, a bit ago and I have a bad feeling that this sack is only the beginning of snitching nightmares to come. Those poor, poor children. They will need therapy for years to recover from the trauma of this weekend.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Countdown to Horror

I did some checking, and would you believe that some churches are actually offering up candy starting tomorrow? Really, I thought churches were supposed to be nice, good places, but various ones are spending this weekend putting out child bait so that Betsy can have a crime spree. Those poor, poor children. They will never want to set foot in a religious institution again after this. Betsy already has over a hundred snitching sacks in her paws, in anticipation, and she knows where she can obtain more if necessary.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Horror Approaching

There are just a few more days until the town is hit full force with horror. I can only hope that everyone has taken precautions, and have stocked up supplies so they can hide in their homes until the worst is over. Not only are we facing Betsy's planned crime spree and mass candy theft, but noveling horror month is about to start. And just when I was starting to recover from last year's horrors too. The rabbits already have paper and pencils out, and are hard at work on ideas to give the human for this year's novel horror. I am afraid to find out what those bunnies might think up this time. It will surely put tons of bad ideas into their little rabbit heads, whatever it is.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Might be in Trouble

I might be in a bit of trouble with the humans. For fun, I decided to play a game of hide and seek while they were out, only it slipped my mind to leave something to inform them of this. Really, I had the best hiding place ever, but the humans didn't seem pleased with my cleverness after they were forced to tear the house apart trying to find me. The human was very upset, and now there is much talk about sticking me on a leash, or assigning a rabbit to watch me at all times! Really, it was just an innocent game! What's so wrong with that?

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Library Horrors

Does anyone know who I should call to complain about a library? Not only did that foolish place provide the human with her Cousin Kerr's obituary, but to make matters worse, it allowed a bunny to hop out with a book on growing more vegetables in less space than you thought possible! I'm sure you can imagine how pleased all of my rabbit siblings were when they saw this book, and now they are all hogging valuable space on the table that should be mine, taking turns reading it, checking out the pictures, and drawing garden diagrams. Our poor neighbors. And just when they thought they might be safe from the garden too. The library should be ashamed. What did our neighbors ever do to them?

Friday, October 22, 2010

I'm Back

I'm back, and just in time, thank goodness, seeing as the bunny made a mess out of the one simple post I asked her to hop to the library and make. Really, these rabbits are so unreliable. The human now has a shiny new computer, although she's still upset about the old one, and the trouble she now faces in getting her data off of it. She's still ranting about that, and possibly about a visit to small claims court to force the people who sold her the last defective drive to pay for this. I can only hope she calms down sometime soon, so I can have some peace, to fix the muddle that bunny made of my poor blog.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Reporting Our Brother's Whereabouts

Hello, Bebe Bunny here with an update on our brother and why he hasn't been blogging lately. He's fine, never fear, and probably lazier than ever, but the human's computer crashed a week ago today, and he is currently internetless. He thought the human was obtaining a new computer but time seems to be dragging on without a new machine being forthcoming, so he sent me hopping down to the library to post an update. He would have came himself, but the library's a bit too close to the genealogy archives for his comfort. Hopefully the human will get a computer soon, so he can get back on.

Reporting Our Brother's Whereabouts

Hello, Bebe Bunny here with an update on our brother and why he hasn't been blogging lately. He's fine, never fear, and probably lazier than ever, but the human's computer crashed a week ago today, and he is currently internetless. He thought the human was obtaining a new computer but time seems to be dragging on without a new machine being forthcoming, so he sent me hopping down to the library to post an update. He would have came himself, but the library's a bit too close to the genealogy archives for his comfort. Hopefully the human will get a computer soon, so he can get back on.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

This Weekened and The Country

I heard alarming mentions of a visit to the country being scheduled for this weekend today. I do hope that this post will give all of the poor misfortunates who live in the country time to flee. The rabbits are already packing their veggie gathering sacks, the polar bears are demanding I get off the computer to give them time to search out the addresses of the closest flocks of sheep on Mapquest, and you do not want to know what Betsy Bear is doing. I can only hope that everyone in the country has doubled their insurance for they are doomed.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Child Bait

I can't believe the humans. They have purchased at least seven bags of candy to hand out to children for Halloween! You should have seen the happy dance Betsy did when they brought it in. With that much candy, she is sure that a bunch of children will be lured to the door, and thus will fall into her paws for robbery purposes. Seven bags. Oh, I shudder to think of the number of children that much candy will bring in, and then Betsy will get them! The humans should be ashamed!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Archive Visit

I couldn't choke down the bus schedule. Really, they make those things totally unpalatable. They ought to be ashamed. So, the human trotted off to the archive right after lunch, and has a ton of obituaries on order, that I'm sure will lead to nightmarish amounts of growth, of that giant tree of hers. She's making noises about going back up there tomorrow, too. Maybe I ought to find a hiding place while I still can. I'm sure that tree is a threat to public safety!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Library Visit

The human went to the library today, and came back with a bus schedule. I fear this means she is planning an archive visit, possibly tomorrow. Do I have any moral obligation to try to prevent this by eating the bus schedule while she's sleeping? It looks extremely unappetizing, but I suppose I could choke it down if I have to.

Friday, October 8, 2010

To Whom It May Concern I.E. The Sheep

If any sheep are reading this, and I do hope you are, you should know right now that your wool is doomed. Perhaps you ought to go ahead and sheer yourselves now, to save yourselves some trouble later. Another polar bear moved in here today, and naturally she didn't waste any time putting her fluffy head together with the other polar bears to plot quilt construction and how wool might be obtained for batting in these quilts. I now have four full sized polar bear sisters and three cub nephews, so I'm sure you can see that there is no way your wool will be spared. And that's assuming that they don't draft some other members of my 659 siblings to assist them in wool gathering. I would place an order for sweaters now. Perhaps you can get some sort of group rate.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Genealogy Horrors

The human heard from a cousin today, and now she is bouncing around, celebrating a potential genealogical success. I have a very bad feeling that confirming this might mean a trip to the country, though, and possibly to the location where that bakery that Betsy attacked the first time the human met with this cousin is situated. Those poor bakery employees. I do hope their insurance covers them for two Betsy induced traumas in less than two months.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Upcoming Horror Season

I trust that everyone is starting their preparations right now for this year's upcoming horror season, that will hit full force in a few weeks, when children go trotting around, carrying sacks, and collecting goodies. Really, those children's parents should be charged with negligence for allowing such activities. All it does is to expose their children to crime with all of that candy in one place, attracting Betsy Bear. She's already got every snitching sack in the house out, in anticipation, and she's planning to place an order for a few more sacks soon. Those poor, poor children. Really, do they need to learn about crime so early? They will be scared for life!

Monday, October 4, 2010

More Sale Horrors

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was trying to recover from the trauma of those church sales, but a rest didn't help much. The human finished unpacking the bags she got, and more horrors were discovered. It turns out that in addition to all of the rabbit encouragement, she also purchased a large sack of fabric, just perfect for quilts! I think you can imagine how pleased the polar bears were to see that. They're currently going through it, to see what pieces go best with their fur, and making plans to get their paws on wool for batting. All sheep in the area should probably put an order in now for sweaters, for their wool is doomed!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Punishing the Church

After the trouble they have caused, I can only pray that Betsy helped herself to every goodie that those pesky churches were trying to peddle today. You won't believe what they did! First of all, one of the churches had a rabbit lurking about, and as soon as the human came trotting over, of course this bunny hopped up and tackled her, begging to be allowed to move in. And to make matters worse, the adoption fee for the bunny was so reasonable, that the human was able to adopt a bear as well. I now have 657 siblings. Then, to make the horrors of the day more nightmarish, another church was selling SEED! Naturally the rabbits were thrilled to spot the giant seed display, and came hopping home with 33 packs, including an alarming number of packs saying something about giant pumpkins. Our poor, poor neighbors are doomed!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Opening New Rentals

I just realized something yesterday. The humans have a whole attic that they really aren't using, except to store the Christmas decorations, and the flowers that they lag to the cemeteries every year while Betsy runs wild and torments the mountain bears. If I could install a hole up there, I could rent out the space to any number of birds in need of winter lodging. I'm sure that there are tons of them who are tired of that long commute south, after all, and who would love to nest in a nice attic for the winter. Does anyone have suggestions for how to advertise? I'm going to tell my woodpecker tenant to invite all of his friends.