Friday, July 30, 2010
I have more proof the church is up to something horrible. The human dropped by a church today, to visit some sort of sale, and there were a couple of bears lounging around. Of course, when the spotted my human, they darted up, and started begging to go home with her, claiming they were homeless misfortunates. She bought it, of course, so now I am up to 647 siblings. Really, the church should be ashamed! And, of course, as soon as these bears arrived home, they joined the rest of my siblings in the great photo debate. That's just what I need, more siblings to argue over photos that I will then be expected to appear in.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Does anyone have any advice on how to sabotage a phone, hopefully quick advice before the human can place a call to the minister tomorrow, to get permission to start producing books, and copying other stuff for book purposes. I will probably be put on the assembly line if she gets this going, and heaven help me if she needs things mailed. The taste of envelope glue will never get off of my tongue. I tried cutting the lines, but the scissors I found didn't work too well, and the polar bears refuse to loan me their good scissors. Any other ideas as to what else I can do? I'm planning to hide the cel phone while she's sleeping tonight.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I want the church prosecuted for this right away! I want the minister arrested! I want the choir drug off in handcuffs! And I won't say what I want done to that office store who helped the human with her horrible work. She trotted down there this afternoon, with a big book full of the church records from 1945 on, and got them reduced in size, to a format suitable for binding and selling. Needless to say, the human was very pleased when she came home, and was chattering about going to the church soon, to do more records. And they showed her how to do the evil things on her own, too, which can only lead to disaster. If she isn't dependent on the copy girl, who knows how fast she will be able to crank stuff out? And what if the church is impressed? One of those horrible books on encouraging family trees had an evil article on the importance of church records for tree growth. She thinking of showing it to the minister! What if they do decide to help her with conference expenses? Who knows what that could lead to?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I wonder if I can sue the church? The human is determined to get something done this week, on making copies of the church records to sell for genealogical purposes. She has big plans, if she can get the copies she needs made, and I'm sure that this won't bode well. She's thinking if she gets things together like she wants, that the church might help with her fees for that genealogy conference they are foolishly having here. I am very much afraid she could be right, and heaven help us all if she is. Who knows what tree growth that could lead to! Can the church be charged with encouragement of a monsterous family tree?
Monday, July 26, 2010
I heard the human talking about paying a visit to the country today. I wonder if the country has had time to obtain insurance, yet? Because my delinquent siblings also heard her, and they started chattering about how many nice photo opportunities there might be, up in the country. If they get it into their heads to trot up there to take pictures of themselves, they will surely expect ME to go as well! I have visited the country before, and frankly, I have no desire to go again, after the havoc Betsy caused up there last time. Those people carelessly leave their boats, golf carts and if he's finished it, planes, totally unguarded for Betsy to make off with, and I refuse to become an accessory to her crimes!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
I just heard of a bear who tried to make off with some human's car. You can find the article here. I can only assume that this bear was some relative of Betsy's, and was plotting to take these poor humans' vehicle as a getaway car for some crime. I do hope they are insured for such things. Of course, it could be worse, though. It could have been Betsy herself who got her paws on their car. If she had snatched it, goodness only knows where it would have ended up, and how many crimes it would have became a part of. At least this bear was a novice driver.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
I am a good cat, a model of decent feline behavior, I feel. I don't harass mice, I'm good and kind to my human, well, as long as my food bowl is full, anyway, I put up with the antics of my siblings. So, would someone want to tell me why I am now being punished with these photo antics? They are planning to order the new memory cards for their photo session tomorrow, and they have their little eyes on a two pack! That will be over 4000 photos if they use both cards! And I will be expected to be in every shot! Does anyone know the best place to hide from a camera? True, I do have 643 siblings at last count, but still, that does not, in any way, shape or form call for that many pictures!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
My siblings are still plotting that group photo, and now they are wanting online to visit wikipedia, to look up the best settings. That's why I couldn't post yesterday. Really, they're totally out of hand. I don't know what I'm going to do. The rabbits are insistent that they must have their photos in the garden, and the penguins are just as insistent about using the pool. And now the penguins are trying to recruit the stingray and the otter to their cause! The one thing they all agree on, though, is that I should share these photos. What am I going to do if the penguins win? The chlorine in the pool will ruin my nice fur!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I swear, when I get my paws on the person who suggested my siblings could win something, for being the largest group of fluffies, they are going to pay. They have all jumped enthusiastically on the idea, and are now debating the proper sitting for a group photo. The rabbits are arguing for the garden, so their horrible plants can be used as props, while the penguins are wanting the swimming pool as a backdrop. And the polar bears, of course, are insisting that quilts be out in full force, and are saying they aren't coming out for a shoot until their warmth can be assured. They are even planning to order a new photo card for the human's camera, just to hold all of their photos! And there is much talk about my appearing in each photo, to show my support! I will be out there all day, and my nap schedule will be totally ruint! the human who put this into their little heads ought to be ashamed!
I can't believe this. Some human gave my human the idea that she should submit pictures of all of my siblings, to try to win something, for having the most bears and other assorted fluffies. You don't want to know how pleased that delinquent batch was with this idea, and now they're all trotting around, demanding my assistance with their laundry to make sure their clothes look their best, and arguing over fur brushes. And what if they try to get me to appear in this photo? I refuse to appear in something so frightening!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
I really wonder what our neighbors did to offend the Native Americans. Their ancestors must have ripped them off big time, is the only thing I can figure, because both types of seed that those people provided to the rabbits are sprouting. Needless to say, the bunnies were thrilled, and are thinking of asking for more seed. If the Natives send it, I will know for sure there is some horrible plot going on. Well, my ancestors were respectable cats, who had nothing to do with any property issues, so I demand to be left out of this!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Those polar bears have really done it this time. I caught one of the cubs, lounging on the human's pillow and whispering into her ear as she was snoozing, on how she could win a prize in the quilt show the next time it comes around. And of course, this will require more fabric purchases. They already have a website picked out, where these fabrics can be obtained, too. And they're trying to tell her a mini-quilt would work best, so there will be loads of fabric left over for them. Does anyone know how I can block such a dangerous website?
That quilt show, that foolishly picked this town for their convention was apparently stricken with amnesia, because they returned this year. Needless to say, the polar bears were thrilled, and sent one of the cubs off with the human when she visited today to collect materials for constructing blankets. There were several bags in view when that cub came back, and then tiny little boxes, holding enough fabric in each one for a full sized polar bear quilt. They're planning to beg the human to take them back tomorrow, to try to get more goodies. And then they will need batting for these quilts. I do hope all sheep in the area have good insurance policies that cover them for wool loss.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I'm very sorry to announce that the tomatoes are starting to sprout. The bunnies have tons sprouts from the homestead, beefsteak, cherry and rutgers tomatoes plus the first sprout from that horrible fellow named Willie who lives in a boxcar, and devotes himself to encouraging bunnies. The cantaloupe is up, too, and the rabbits are sure that they will find even more sprouts when they hop out tomorrow. Probably with my luck, their zebra tomatoes will sprout next. Those things are sure to cause trouble.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I wander if I should get a going away present for our neighbors, for they will surely be leaving soon, if they know what is good for them. We had more rain today, and with each drop, it seemed another plant sprouted. Needless to say, the bunnies are thrilled. The bushel gourd, spaghetti squash, butternut squash, blanch & vert, honeydew melon, watermelon, poinsett cucumbers, national pickling cucumbers and okra are all rearing their leafy heads. Some tomatoes are sprouting too, but they didn't get names off their little markers to report in on those yet.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The human went to meet a friend this weekend, which would normally be good news, since she took Betsy Bear with her. Unfortunately, the friend was at a convention, and another human was also there, who had wool in her possession, and then admitted to knowing the location of a flock of wooly sheep. Needless to say, the polar bears were pleased to get this news, and they are busily plotting how to get their paws on this wool right now. I hope those poor sheep have insurance.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The rain worked. The Kharboza melon, the Russian pumpkin, and the local pumpkins are sprouting, which is a horrible sign. The other seeds are sure to sprout at any time, I am sure. Our poor neighbors. I will be very sad to see them go, but I don't see there is any choice. The rain also helped the bunnies' watermelons, which can reach a hundred feet in length. Unless our neighbors want to be overtaken by giant vegetables in the middle of the night, they should flee now.
Friday, July 9, 2010
The bunnies held a practice dance in the backyard last night, and sure enough, rain came pouring down this morning. And, of course, this rain seems to have done a world of good for their garden, according to the rabbits. They put on little raincoats, and hopped out to check, then rushed back in, to announce there were sprouts. I don't want to think of what they might find tomorrow.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The rabbits are not happy, due to the current lack of rain. They had been distracted with planting, you see, and forgot to do their rain dancing as much as they normally do. Now, they're worried the lack of rain is keeping seeds from sprouting. I don't see this as a problem, but the bunnies most certainly do. They have invited every rabbit in the area to come over this weekend for a giant rain dance to correct the issue. I would suggest all humans start work on your arks now. Given those rabbits' track record, I am very afraid you will need them.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Our neighbors spent yesterday foolishly shooting off fireworks, instead of packing their bags to flee. They will pay for that decision now, is all that I can say, and I hope they know they have no one to blame but themselves. The bunnies poked out more watermelon today, this time a funny gray kind from Charleston, and then a jumbo pack of okra. They didn't get it exactly where they wanted it, but they're sure that it can be moved, once they have sprouts. And once it is moved, the neighbors might as well say goodbye to their homes.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
The bunnies were right. The kettle gourd and the dipper gourd poked their leafy heads up today. That means that everything from their first round of planting is beginning to sprout. Isn't there a law against such alarming gardening success? And what about their second round of planting? The bunnies are hopping about in eager anticipation of those things popping up. They think it could even happen as early as tomorrow. I wonder if I have time to hide?
Saturday, July 3, 2010
The bunnies planted more. They just hopped in to announce that they put out banana squash big enough to feed gorillas, banana melon for medium sized monkeys, Cinderella pumpkin, moon and stars watermelon, patissons panache blanc et vert, spaghetti squash, sucrine du berry, bushel gourd, Cherokee black tomatoes, black zebra tomatoes, tomatoes from someone named Willie who makes his home in a boxcar, and great white tomatoes, which are probably popular with certain species of whale. The zoo should go on high alert right away, as I'm sure escapes to sample the produce are being planned. Someone needs to have a talk with the Native Americans too. I'm sure their contributions to the rabbits' garden are part of some plot to punish us all for the loss of their land hundreds of years ago.
As if their current crop of sprouts wasn't bad enough, the bunnies poked out twelve more things this afternoon. They planted Green Zebra tomatoes, brandywine tomatoes, Mr. Stripey tomatoes, Cherokee purple tomatoes, giant paws full of sweet peppers, Hamilton market peppers, paprika peppers, cantaloupe, two different types of cucumbers, Hungarian hot wax peppers, and butternut squash. I wonder if I should offer to help our neighbors pack, so they can flee before it is too late?
The bunnies are hopping around celebrating so much that I can hardly hear myself think. The sprouting is coming along alarmingly well. The birdhouse, luffa, penguin and gooseberry gourd are up, along with the white squash, mandarian cucumber, more of the Ukraine cucumber and those pumpkins from that evil uncle named Herman. It has only been six days since those things were planted, which makes this sprouting even more alarming. They suspect that the dipper gourd and kettle gourd will be up soon, too, as if we need more sprouts. The Department of Rabbitculture who supplied them with some of the seeds will be so pleased.
Friday, July 2, 2010
I'm very sorry to announce that the bunnies obtained packs of cantaloupe, cucumber and Hungarian hot wax peppers today. They plan to hop out in the morning to plant the horrible things. Oh, and the farmer's market is open too, right near the horrible genealogy archives. Of course, the rabbits were thrilled to hear this, and are encouraging the human to visit right away. I can only hope her leg will prevent her from trotting up there tomorrow.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Maybe our neighbors are serial killers. If they are, then wouldn't it be a good thing for the rabbits to get rid of them? I can only hope that they have taken to murder, for the bunnies have surely sealed the doom of their house today. They hopped out and planted ten more things. They put out another pack of cucumbers, bushkin pumpkins, some sort of Russian pumpkin, a Spanish pumpkin, some melon called Kharboza, gooseneck gourd, whale gourd, apple gourd, and two different types of local pumpkin.
I am very upset to announce that the first seeds that the bunnies planted have started to sprout. They hopped out today, to put out more things, and came rushing in to announce that alarming amounts of squash are popping up, and they believe a few cucumbers too. Oh, and the first Ukraine cucumber is up as well. The Department of Agriculture, a.k.a The Department of Rabbitculture, who supplied them with those seeds will be so happy to get the good news, I'm sure.