Zoo Break-In

We heard the oddest news today.  Apparently a bear tried to break into the zoo.  We can only assume he was planning to establish his den there, thinking the fence might prevent Betsy Bear from popping in to rob him of all of his honey.  Really, if that was his plan, he should have consulted a map.  We live maybe a mile or so from the zoo, putting it in the heart of Betsy Bear territory.  If this poor bear wants to live someplace that might be marginally safer, we recommend he apply to move in down at that large mouse's dwelling in Florida.  At least Betsy only turns up there occasionally, and they're very bear friendly.  He might even be able to find work in one of the shows.

Very Sorry

We are very sorry for the shrieks today. We went shopping, and Brother was not pleased with what we bought. Really, what sort of disaster does he think almost twenty yards of fabric might cause? We're sure that whatever disaster he is envisioning, it isn't serious enough to call for such noise. We got a lovely striped patterned fabric that our zebra sister is in love with. Oh, maybe that's it. There's a minor flood over by the zoo right now, giving escaping zebras a clear path to sail right to our house. Maybe Brother thinks that fabric will attract them, and they might be headed here right this moment. Hmmmmm. If all of the zebras come, wanting clothes, I think we need to buy more fabric.

Plans, Lovely Plans

Our sister, Zenobia Zebra, has finally decided on the outfit she wants to wear. Really, it's taken her forever to pick something, so we were thrilled when she told us she has decided to go with the three piece skirt, jacket and camisole outfit, in suitable zebra colors. We just have to hop to the store tomorrow to pick up the material, and possibly material for our leopard sisters as well. We're so happy they finally picked something, after such a long debate, but you should have heard the kitty screams. Really, we don't think making clothing for one zebra is likely to lead to mass zebra escapes from the zoo and the construction of multiple zebra outfits, do you? Maybe we ought to buy some extra material just in case, though.

Pool Repairman is Coming!

The pool repairman is coming tomorrow, to hopefully correct what the first repairman did wrong. I hope the zoo has invested in extra locks for the penguins' home, because my penguin siblings are working on party invitations now, in anticipation of the pool being repaired and functional soon. The zoo has a mass of Halloween events planned, which will only make the penguins' fleeing easier if their dwelling isn't secured properly. Really, they'll probably waddle right out disguised as waiters. And do you know how loud penguin parties get? And how much fish they eat? MY FISH!

Diving

The penguins are practicing their diving form, bouncing up and down on the beds and the couches, trying to touch their beaks to their webbed feet. Not a good sign. Diving practice makes me think they are planning on doing a bit of swimming soon, and penguins going swimming can only lead to them inviting other penguins over to take a dip. And the other penguins are likely to be from the zoo, too. I don't know why in the world that place hasn't done something to up their security. Surely penguin escapes can't be good for business.

Pool Update

The pool repairman finally arrived, and I fear that what he did this time might have actually fixed the pool. The human was saying something about how it was looking much better when she limped in after supervising the work. Just perfect. The penguins heard her, and now they're planning a little party! And of course that means inviting all of the zoo penguins to waddle over to celebrate with them. The zoo is along the route to the country! My penguin siblings will probably recruit the human to collect their party guests on the way back if she goes up there this weekend!

Plant Sale

The bunnies went to that awful plant sale, and it was even worse than I feared. They came hopping home with a green zebra tomato, the plant they plant to feature on the front cover of their first bunny novel. Needless to say, they were thrilled to find the plant, and are even talking about purchasing a special pot for it to live in! Nothing good is going to come of that, and as if the fact the bunnies want to put this plant on a book cover isn't bad enough, then there's the fact that it's sure to attract zebras. They're probably on their way over, even as we speak. It wouldn't surprise me at all. The plant sale was alarmingly close to the zoo, so the zebras there probably already know of the bunnies' purchase! And what in the world am I to do, when the back yard is full of a zebra herd, I would like to know!

Zoo Horrors

You won't believe what our local zoo has decided to do. Honestly, they must have put loons in charge over there or something. They have decided to allow obviously insane humans to get married at the zoo now. That's probably what the construction they have going on is related to. They're probably installing a wedding pavilion or something! Really, what in the world are they thinking, allowing weddings over there? I know some zoos down in Florida do foolish things like that, but really, them doing it here is just a total sign of insanity. I'm sure all it will do is attract my siblings. The penguins are already preening and fluffing their feathers, trying to make sure they look their best for the weddings they're sure that they will be invited to, with their built in formal wear. And if some humans are nutty enough to want to marry at the zoo, it isn't such a stretch that they will want to invite the penguins to attend. This is going to be a disaster, I just know it. And if the penguins get themselves invited to weddings, I am sure the zebras will be next. Nothing good can come of this.

The Zoo

As if things weren't going badly enough, with Betsy taking to train robbery, one of the bears reported passing the zoo while they were out with the humans, and seeing that construction work is being done there, probably to make it nicer for the residents, although really they ought to be working on improving security, with how often various creatures pop over here for parties. At first, I wasn't sure why I needed to know about this, but then it hit me. If work is being done at the zoo, there will be noise, and I'm sure that the penguins will object to that, never mind the red pandas, zebras and who knows what other animals. So, they'll likely be looking for somewhere else to stay until the humans are finished with their zoo improvement project. And why do I have a feeling that my siblings are going to offer this place as temporary accommodations? Well, they better not invite the lions, is all that I can say! My box isn't big enough for one of those!

Should Have Stayed in Bed

I should have stayed in bed, and if I had known what I would be facing today, I certainly would have. I will see Nick the Cat and his entire family in prison for this! They should be ashamed of themselves, causing such terrible luck. I poked my head out this morning, to see what the pandas were up to, and how the eating was coming, when I got hit in the head by a paper airplane. I opened it, and found a flier from one of Nick's cousins, announcing a bad luck special on the way just for me. And the feline in question was sitting on our neighbor's porch, laughing! This was extra special bad luck is all that I can say, for no sooner was I bopped on the head, than the bad luck started to arrive.

First the humans went to pick up the dryer, and of course the bunnies hopped along, to chat with the appliance repairperson's feline employees. They came home smelling of other cats. Apparently they hugged the repair cats. Anyway, the dryer was collected, and worse, the bunnies learned how these felines were converted from lazy, slothful, proper cats, to hard working, industrious animals. Apparently they attended a seminar given by a beaver, on the virtues of work, and the next thing you know, they had changed their lifestyle completely. The bunnies are already making plans to book me to attend this beaver's next talk. Just wonderful. Hours of chatter on nothing but work, and you know there won't be good refreshments, just sticks to gnaw on.

Anyway, they got the dryer, and took it off to the country cottage. It's there than my luck continues on its downward path. They stopped by the local homeless shelter on the way, and of course the human was tackled by animals with tales of woe as soon as she stepped in the door, hoping to find some games. She came home with five more siblings for me, including an elephant! Isn't it bad enough that we're hosting those escaped red pandas? I'm sure the zoo will be furious to learn that an elephant escapee is here too. Anyway, I'm up to 693 siblings.

Then when they reached the cottage, my luck got really bad. It seems that when the humans were last up there, getting things ready for the start of work, they did something wrong, for they arrived to learn that a window had fallen out. They were only able to make a temporary repair, which means they will have to return for sure next week for serious work purposes. Which means that the bunnies have put a rush on the flooring party. They're demanding that the tea order be doubled, to make sure the pandas are nicely caffinated, and able to stay awake to eat for longer stretches of time. And who do you think they expect to make this tea? ME! Like I said, Nick the Cat and his entire family will pay for this!

More Pandas

More pandas arrived today for the flooring party. Really, what in the world are the airports thinking, allowing so many of those giant creatures to just stroll onto flights without a bit of proof that they are traveling in some sort of official capacity as ambassadors? I'm sure they should have called someone to check. But no, they couldn't be bothered. I would have hated to have been on the flights with the pandas. The noise of sipping of tea would have driven me mad for sure. So now every chair in the back yard has a panda in it, anxiously awaiting the start of the flooring party. Which is scheduled to begin tomorrow afternoon, I am very sorry to say. My panda siblings got an email from the red pandas at the zoo, to let them know they will be sailing off as soon as darkness falls tonight. With several stops to raid peoples' bamboo patches along the way, they should be here by afternoon. And then the munching will begin. And how I will sleep, I have no idea!

Video Issues Too

Oh, and on top of everything else, I found out something horrifying about flooring today. Someone actually produces flooring made out of BAMBOO! Needless to say, the pandas were thrilled to find out about this, and to see pictures of attractive bamboo flooring on the video the bunnies borrowed. So now the lot of them are offering to harvest all of the bamboo needed to floor the country cottage, and to hand over the leftovers as soon as they've munched down every leaf. They've even said that if necessary to complete this project, they will arrange to have more pandas come over from China to help with the eating. Or possibly arrange for those red pandas at the zoo to sail over. Thanks to those storms Nick the Cat's family caused, the road outside the zoo is flooded, and after the red pandas help themselves to a boat in the kids' play area, my panda siblings are sure they would have clear sailing all the way to our house, with just a trot up the hill from the creek once they hit it. They could even swing by our poor neighbors' house and harvest their bamboo for eating purposes on the way. Horrors, Horrors, Horrors! And the bunnies will accept this offer, I just know it, in order to get free flooring. Do you know how noisy leaf eating is? I will be up forever, with all of the pandas in the backyard, munching away, and passing tea around!

If the Zoo Asks

If the zoo asks, I was here all day, being forced to work by a batch of rabbits. I didn't even have a moment to look outside. They barely gave me a moment to drop my my food bowl to grab a quick bite before forcing me back to work. I was totally occupied, and thus could have nothing to do with the penguin disaster that hit today. The human had to go by the zoo not once but twice to get those goodie bag coupons. She says it was due to some sort of mix-up, but I know the real reason. I spotted a penguin waddling in to talk to the other penguins, holding an email from the zoo residents, asking for a second trip, since too many penguins were in residence to comfortably fit into the car, hidden under a blanket in the floorboard, in one trip. Two trips, and two car loads of penguins. I am afraid to look outside!

Horrors Continue

The horrors continue to come. The human is popping by the zoo, first thing in the morning, to pick up one of the last items for those awful sacks! The ZOO! I can just imagine what will happen with her dropping by there. While she's inside, picking up things, a crew of penguins will undoubtedly hide in the car to get a free ride over here. I'm sure my penguin siblings are up to something. They've been waddling around acting entirely too happy lately, and now I know why. They must have a party planned for the weekend, and this is how they're going to get their guests here! I won't get a wink of sleep due to party noise the entire time!

Reunion Work

I'm afraid I have alarming horrors to report in regards to that human's planned family reunion. She's making plans for goodie bags, to lag to it, in order to lure more people in with promises of gifts. As part of this goodie bag assembling, she's been writing various places, requesting donations, based on something that she read in one of her magazines for planners of such horrifying events. I'm very frightened to report that she has already received a positive reply from the local zoo, offering her coupons! Really, doesn't the zoo have enough troubles with repeated penguin escapes, due to my siblings scheduling parties? What if the human's reunion decides to schedule a group zoo trip due to those coupons? Every penguin in the place will surely use such a thing as the perfect opportunity to fly the coup, and trot over here to hang around! I will be up to my pointed ears in penguins!

Continuing Horrors, Almost Too Many to Count

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit, but I didn't want to frighten all of you too much with the continuing horrors. We have had more snow, and you don't want to think about how that particular bit of weather is making the polar bears act. I hope all of the sheep in the area have had time to get wool insurance is all that I can say about that. And then, to make matters worse, the water on top of the pool cover is frozen, making the perfect skating rink for the penguins. They've been zooming around out there, and I know that I've spotted a few extra penguins that I'm sure were listed on the zoo's website as escapees. I really ought to see about scouting out a better hiding place, in case the zoo comes around, looking for those fugitive birds. And then there is the horror of the human's work on the family reunion. But I will share that tomorrow, so you won't be too frightened to sleep tonight.

Alert the Zoo! And Blame the Native Americans!

The bunnies planted more. They just hopped in to announce that they put out banana squash big enough to feed gorillas, banana melon for medium sized monkeys, Cinderella pumpkin, moon and stars watermelon, patissons panache blanc et vert, spaghetti squash, sucrine du berry, bushel gourd, Cherokee black tomatoes, black zebra tomatoes, tomatoes from someone named Willie who makes his home in a boxcar, and great white tomatoes, which are probably popular with certain species of whale. The zoo should go on high alert right away, as I'm sure escapes to sample the produce are being planned. Someone needs to have a talk with the Native Americans too. I'm sure their contributions to the rabbits' garden are part of some plot to punish us all for the loss of their land hundreds of years ago.

Penguin Escape

Now that I've had time to think on it, perhaps it would be best if the zoo penguins drove off in a catering van after all. We aren't far from the zoo and surely if they drove slowly with several penguins steering and a couple to navigate they couldn't get into too much trouble. Certainly they couldn't get in as much trouble as some humans do behind the wheel. My penguin siblings have been checking our fish supplies and making alarming noises about fish usage for their party. I refuse to hand over all of our tuna, so if those zoo penguins are planning to party here, they'll just have to bring their own supplies.

Penguin Costumes

I want the zoo to know right now that I am in no way, shape, or form responsible for this, and I refuse to be held to blame just because I share a home with a batch of delinquent penguins. They were doing some poking around and found a scene in this thing called Mary Poppins featuring penguins waddling around with trays impersonating waiters. Needless to say, they thought this was a great disguise and emailed the zoo penguins right away about it. The penguins will probably be able to escape in a catering truck now if all goes well! I can only hope they don't try to drive it. I'm sure they aren't licensed.

The Zoo

The local zoo is foolishly hosting a Halloween event running for two weeks this month. All I can say is that they are so doomed it isn't funny, and I can't possibly be held accountable for the disaster resulting from their foolish decision. There will be people trotting all over the zoo in costume, which will make it the perfect time for jail breaks. I spotted an email my penguin siblings sent to the zoo penguins with instructions for mask construction, and I don't even want to look at what Zenobia Zebra sent out. All of the penguins, and likely the zebra herd too, are plotting their escape during this by pretending they're humans in costume! And then they're going to trot over here to party! Honestly, the zoo should be ashamed of themselves for setting up the circumstances that will lead to these perfect escapes, and I want it known now that I am not to blame! I just hope the neighbors buy that when the yard and house are packed full of partying penguins and zebras.