Right About the Weekend

I was right about the weekend. The human took off bright and early this morning, to visit that horrible quilt show and book sale with the bunnies, polar bears and Betsy Bear along for the ride. There is now a giant box of book loitering up my table, and with, I am sure, annoying books, probably on work, inside. And then there is what the polar bears did at the quilt show. They returned home with a SACK of fabric! A sack! And a camera full of quilt pictures too, sure to give them ideas for projects, and the bunnies ideas for table decorations for book sale purposes. Oh, and on the way home, the polar bears passed a flock of sheep too, lounging in their pasture, all fluffy and wooly. So now there is sheep nudity visible from the public highway. As for Betsy Bear, I try not to think about what she might have done to those poor mountain bears while the humans and polar bears were in the quilt show. I'm sure she robbed them as usual, and probably reset their alarm clocks for half past May too. And then there is the buffet the humans stopped at on the way home. Betsy attacked the brownies there, or possibly robbed a Brownie for all of their cookies. I'm not to sure about the specifics. I don't really want to know the specifics. But she came home smelling of goodies, and licking chocolate off of her paws, so I'm sure some theft was involved. Really, what a rotten weekend!

Frightening Weekend

I think I'm going to spend the weekend in hiding. Really, it's shaping up to be the stuff of nightmares and I suggest that all people lock yourselves in your homes until the horror is over. Not only is there a book sale this weekend, but the quilt festival is going on as well. The human is wanting to attend both, and of course the polar bears and bunnies want to go as well. The bunnies will find books on work, I'm sure of it, or more books on gardening, or worse, vegetable themed fabric to make decorations for book signings! And the polar bears, I think you can imagine what will happen, with them near so much fabric. Really, this is shaping up to be the disaster to end all disasters, and I hope someone will wake me when it's OVER!

Gardening Season

Gardening season has started, and I'm afraid it has started big time too. The seed is out in the stores. The plants are out. Frighting amounts of both are out. Now the bunnies are hopping about,l worried that they have somehow fallen behind with gardening related matters, and that their leader will be disappointed in them. They have paper and pencil out, and are busily working on a little list to catch them up. And I don't like how much paper this list seems to be taking up, either. There is a frightening amount of talk going around about starting to poke seed into bags to get starts, possibly bright and early in the morning. In the morning! And how will I sleep, if those bunnies are starting seed, I would like to know!

Bunny Season

It's only a few more weeks until the head bunny comes hopping around to once more attempt to deliver baskets of goodies. Really, I don't know why he keeps trying, at least with the part involving the candy type goodies for children. All the candy does is attract Betsy Bear. Really, you would think he would know better by now. Does he like ending up dangling in the air by one paw or something? What really alarms me about this season, though, is what the head rabbit might bring to my bunny siblings. The human's surely going to have at least one edit, and possibly two done by the time he comes hopping down the bunny trail, which will put her frightfully close to publication. The head bunny has always rewarded the bunnies with nightmarish amounts of seeds for their gardening industry. Who knows what he might reward them with for getting a bunny book published! What if he brings them their own greenhouse?

New Bunny Horror

I can't believe this. Now the bunnies' leader has gone into the DONUT business! The local donut shop as a big rabbit picture up, along with a sign advertising the new bunny donuts. They're covered with little sprinkles and frosting to make them look yummy, but I'm sure they're carrot flavored under all of that. Bunny donuts. What in the world was the donut shop thinking? Sure, the donuts will attract tons of rabbit eaters to their business, but how in the world will their human customers get in? And I'm sure the rabbits will spill their carrot juice all over while they're dunking donuts. Slip and falls will be rampant!

I knew It

I knew it. I knew it was a bad idea to let those polar bears snooze with the human. Oh, the HORRORS! They've been chatting with the bunnies or something, I can only assume, and were promised a large basket of fabric, or perhaps new scissors for robbing sheep for Easter in exchange for what they have done. They whispered a new idea for a bunny story to the human! Oh, and the human thought it was an excellent idea too, for she's already taken it and mapped out the first few chapters. She might start writing on it, as soon as she gets her editing done. More bunny story ideas! I'm doomed! I swear, I ought to hop on the bed and drag those polar bears off by their short, stubby tails before they can cause me more trouble!

Glasses Issue

The human is having an issue with her glasses, where she can't wear them for long without ending up with terrible pain in her ears. Needless to say, due to this, editing on those bunny novels has now been delayed! Happy day! And this glass issue sprang up right after the giant edit of a few days ago. Too bad it didn't happen a bit sooner, but anyway, there's no way that the problem can be linked back to me. There are tons of screwdrivers in this house that could have been used to adjust those glasses. The human can't check all of them for cat paw prints! So, until the glasses are fixed, and the human stops hurting, I am safe from the nightmarish bunny writing!

Head Bunny's Movie

If anyone has any shopping they need done, all I can suggest is that you do it now, and avoid all stores like the plague on the 23rd. I can only hope that all of the stores are insured for the impending disaster. Last year's horrible film starring the bunnies' leader is being released on DVD then, and it is sure to be a nightmare. My rabbit siblings are already making noise about going to camp out at the store, so they can get the first copy of the movie. I can see it now. The stores will be filled with rabbits, hopping everywhere! And Walmart is the worst of the lot, offering a special deal, undoubtedly to attract more bunny customers. The clown is probably part of this as well, hoping to get lots of bunny business since he has a ton of restaurants in Walmart. The bunnies will want refreshments while they're waiting for the movie boxes to be unpacked. The clown even has a new, green milkshake that I'm sure will attract rabbits. Really, isn't it bad enough that the clown is encouraging the bears to drop in and now the bunnies? All I can say is to stay in your houses, until the bunny shopping stampede is over!

Must Call the Police

I must call the police at once. I'm sure that Nick the Cat is to blame for this, and causing this much bad luck must violate more laws than I want to think about. The human got more work done on one of those bunny books today, and is almost through with a round of edits. She went to the bakery and amused herself camping out there all day and working. Really, for letting her hang around that place and work on such horror, I hope Betsy Bear robbed them of every cookie in the building. The human was pleased with what she accomplished, and how her editing speed started picking up as she got into things. Just perfect. She's hoping to work more and finish the edit tomorrow. And do you know what will happen once the editing is done? That will put her one step closer to publication! I will be one step closer to attending a book party with a CARROT theme! I'll be one step closer to being drug to the food co-op and to the country to help the bunnies sell the horrible novels! And the money! The money! You know the human will share it with the rabbits, and they're sure to use it for nothing but SEED! Where is the law when you need them?

Horrible Clown

That clown is causing problems again. You won't believe this, but now he's having a sale on fillet o' fishes! That is the polar bears' favorite snack, and now they'll be able to get their paws on more of the things. Really, so many things have gone right for those bears lately. First the human lets them sleep with her, and now they're getting cheap snacks. It's horribly unfair. And with a good luck streak like this going, the bears will probably get a stack full of coupons for bear merchandise the next time they trot down for a meal.

Bed is Even Worse Tonight

The bed situation is even worse tonight. I am doomed. Maybe I should start looking for a pair of scissors, and a needle now, because I am sure I will be needing them for quilt construction soon. Now two of the cubs have joined their fellow cub and the adult polar bears on the human's bed, snuggled under the covers next to her. She's sleeping with FIVE polar bears! And you know they're going to take total advantage of the situation, and whisper in her ear about how much fun having a bunch of quilts would be. And if she was gullible enough to let the lot of them sleep with her, you know she'll listen to them about quilt assembly. Really, I can't believe this, but she's given those bears an entire half of the bed!

Polar Bear Snoozing

The polar bears' sleeping arrangements are getting worse. First it was that cub, who convinced the human to let him sleep with her, curled under two blankets, a quilt and a comforter. Needless to say, he was highly pleased with the arrangement, and this morning called out to the other polar bears around how warm and snuggly he was, tucked in on the bed. So now two of the grown polar bears are up there too, snuggled up, just waiting to snooze with the human. She's going to be sleeping with THREE polar bears! A disaster will result from this, I am sure of it! They'll be whispering horrible ideas about quilts to the human as she snoozes, and what if they convince her that I should be put to work on the quilt assembly line?

More Weekend Issues

I was so distracted by the problems with the snow and the polar bears that I almost forgot my other weekend issue. The human dropped by the local homeless shelter this weekend, looking for a bag for that Kindle, likely for some archive trip, and another bear pounced on her, begging to move in. And, of course, being a gullible human, she agreed. So now I am up to 722 siblings. Really, has any other feline ever suffered with such a large family before?

Snow

That horrible weatherman did send snow today. Really, I ought to call the law and have him persecuted for this. All that the snow manages to do is cause problems for me, problems that I'm sure I don't deserve. Now that large polar bear cub is causing more trouble, camping out on the human's bed, and making complaints about being horribly cold. Anyway, the human feels sorry for him, so she's let him snuggle up under the covers with her. A sure disaster will result from her sleeping with that bear. And what if he convinces her to let him stay there until spring?

More Weather Issues

Yes, the weatherman doesn't like me. I'm sure of it, now. You won't believe this, bdt now he's calling for snow! The polar bears are in a total panic, sure that they are about to end up cold Floor traffic has ground to a standstill as those bears ran about panicking. I was lucky not to be trampled before I could escape to the safety of the dryer! Really, that weatherman ought to be ashamed of himself, causing such a commotion, but all I hear is chuckles from his little weather station up the street as he gloats over the matter.

Lousy Weatherman

I think the weatherman has something against felines, or maybe just against me. As if it wasn't bad enough that he has spent all winter calling for snow and cold, and sending the polar bears into a panic, now he has sent storms up to the country! So the bunnies are wanting to get up bright and early in the morning, to go up and heck the cottage. First of all, I will be disturbed horribly by those rabbits hopping around so early. The weekend is my time to sleep in later than usual. Then there's the danger that they will want me to accompany them for this cottage checking. And even if they don't, I still sense danger. The human's bunny books are set up there, after all. What if a visit gives her more bad ideas?

Food Woes

I'm doomed! The other human forgot to fill my dish before scurrying out the door this morning, and then the crippled human wasn't able to do it! I was forced to diet all day! Dieting, and worse, the bunnies kept hopping by, looking at my empty bowl, and asking if I was hungry. I know they were just dying to fill the bowl with a fat salad if I had so much as indicated that I wanted food, so I was forced to claim I was still full from a big supper the night before. I didn't think I would make it until the other human returned! And the crippled human is still in a good bit of pain from that ankle, so I doubt my chances of getting service tomorrow will have gone up. I don't think I can stand a second day of enforced dieting! I might have to give in and eat a vegetable!

Cripple Report

The human is still crippled, and stuck with ice on her various injuries. Service has declined drastically around here too. I was forced to go over eight hours without someone to wait on me, while the other, uninjured human was at work. Really, there ought to be a law about something like that. I suppose I was lucky in some ways, though. At least the bunnies all seem to be focused on the human for the moment and are lurking in her room with offers of replenishing ice and everything. I was sure they would use this as a chance to offer to take over filling my dish, and attempting to convert me once more.

Short Post

I'm afraid tonight's post will be short. The human managed to end up crippled once more, after a fall at the local BBQ restaurant. She's currently in bed, with ice on knee and ankle and with a polar bear curled up beside her. And, to make matters worse, the doctor she limped to gave her a medication that causes drowsiness! That polar bear will be able to snooze undisturbed for who knows how long! And who is going to serve me with the human crippled, that's what I want to know!

Polar Bear Napping

Oh, this is getting worse. First it was that bunny snoozing with the human and then when I strolled in a bit ago, you won't believe what I saw. There she was, snuggled under the covers, and what was poking out but a round, white ear! I crept closer, and to my horror found that the ear was attached to a polar bear! Now she's sleeping with them too! Nothing good can come of this. They'll probably whisper instructions for obtaining fabric and who knows what else in her ear as she sleeps! Quilt construction will skyrocket! Sheep nudity will be at a all time high!

Ruining Cheese

Those bunnies are stepping up their campaign to convert me to a vegetarian, probably thinking that then they will be able to trot me out at book signings, and get attention for having converted an innocent feline to a life of vegetables. Today they almost ruined perfectly good cheese as part of their plot. They sprinkled it on a carrot, knowing how fond I am of cheese, and thinking that I would gulp the carrot down by accident! Luckily I was able to pluck the cheese off without being forced to swallow a vegetable. It did have a bit of a carrot taste to it, though. Horrible!

Happy Bear Meals

The remains of Happy Bear Meals are all over the house. I can't believe the bears actually got their paws on so many of the things already. They have a giant stack of coupons for various bear merchandise, and they're planning a shopping spree for little clothes and other things, that I'm sure will only result in trouble for me. I'm not sure how it will cause trouble for me just yet, but I know it will. I hope that rotten clown is ashamed of himself for this. And did you know that the only thing they've offered me so far is one slightly burnt fry!

The Clown

You won't believe what that horrible clown who runs the restaurants the polar bears like to visit has done. I'm sure it can be held against him in a court of law. That clown has produced meals for bears and is selling them! Happy Bear Meals, with a coupon for bear related merchandise as the enclosed prize! First feeding them, and then providing encouragement to shop! What in that clown thinking? I ought to turn the Hamburgler loose on him for this. Now the bears are making plans to all trot down there right away for a meal! And they're even thinking about lagging me along, to help eat and get more coupons for goodies! Dining with bears. I will never live it down, and to make matters worse, fish is not one of the menu options for the Happy Bear Meals. I will see that clown in court for this! I will sue him for every pair of floppy shoes that he has!

Quilt Doom

I knew that book the bunnies borrowed would be nothing but trouble. I just knew it. Now those polar bears are plotting to sneak out in the morning, in search of fabric to construct a cat quilt with! They were even talking about taking me with them, to better select fabrics that matched my fur, and I know I saw one of the cubs with my leash. I think they finally gave it up though, when they couldn't think of a way to poke me into the human's bookbag, thank goodness! If I had been forced to go out, they would have me sitting on bolts of fabric all day! Way too much fabric exposure, and what if a sheep had spotted me? Sooner or later, those creatures are going to find a lawyer to sue for their wool loss, and if I was seen in the fabric department, I'm sure they would decide I was an accessory to said wool theft. As it is, I'll be lucky if the cat quilt itself doesn't get me declared an accessory. I wonder if I could hide the thread box, to delay construction?

Lousy Library

I must sue the library right away! Oh, you won't believe the book they let those rabbits get their paws on this time! Really, don't those people supervise the borrowing of materials at all? This is worse than the gardening books! Now the bunnies are borrowing books for the polar bears, and horror of horrors, they borrowed a book on the construction of cat themed quilts! Cat quilts! Oh, no good can come of this! Cat quilts and I am a cat! The polar bears are sure to take this as a sign that I should be put to work on constructing said quilts right away!

Must Sue

I really must sue at once, although I'm not sure if I should sue the relation in question or the local paper. Yet another of the human's annoying relations has amused themselves dying, and even worse, the paper has amused itself publishing this human's obituary! Obituaries only lead to the growth of that tree, something that is absolutely not needed. Really, the paper should be ashamed, and I ought to persecute them and the relative's survivors to the full extent of the law for endangering us all by encouraging that awful tree!

Party

The bunnies are continuing with their party planning. Woe is me! And now they are making plans to draft me into assisting with this! One of them hopped around a bit ago and gave me my first assignment, helping to construct stands to hold various vegetable foodstuffs. Some magazine they found on that Kindle showed how to do it, and now they're all eager to try. Really, I can't believe this! Stand construction calls for glue! I will get it all over my fur, and then how will I get it off, I would like to know!

Book Party

Things with that book continue on their disasterous pace. Now the rabbits are talking about having a party when the human gets the horrible bunny novels published, to celebrate. They've already started to plan the menu! Carrot cake, candied carrots, carrots with dip, carrot soup, pretty much an entire menu featuring nothing but CARROTS! They're planning to stock up on bunny themed decorations too, when the season devoted to their leader rolls around and the stores fill up with such items. And, to make it all a complete horror, they have already informed me that they expect ME to attend this party! And what in the world will I eat at this party, with an all vegetable menu, I would like to know? I'm sure it's all a plot to try to convert me!

Weekend is Worse

This weekend is going worse than expected. The humans haven't visited the cottage yet, true, but with where they have gone so far, I almost wish they had gone there, and had ended up trapped by snow. First the humans went out for breakfast, and of course a rabbit stowed away in the human's bookbag. Honestly, I try to prevent this, but with the number of bunny siblings I have, it seems like one always manages to leap in there at the last second. Breakfast went okay, but then the human got the idea to go by the food co-op for more beauty products, and of course the bunny hopped in too. She had a large sack of corn seed, bigger than the sack the polar bear brought back a few days ago, with her when she returned. Our entire state is doomed if all of those seed are planted. People will be wandering lost in a corn maze forever! And, as if the seed wasn't bad enough, then the human went by the flea market, and would you believe she found someone there to provide info for those bunny novels? I'm sure nothing good can come of that. It will probably encourage her to work faster, which can only lead to my being drug off to the country to help sell!

Weekend Woes

This weekend is shaping up to be a potential nightmare. I heard the humans a bit ago talking about going to the country cottage to check on a few things. It is supposed to SNOW this weekend! What if they do go there and get stuck? Okay, some of the bunnies are sure to hop along with the humans, and will be trapped as well, but I'm sure at least a few rabbits will stay at home. And if the humans get snowbound, those bunnies will immediately pounce on my food bowl, and will try to convert me to their vegetarian lifestyle! Perhaps I ought to risk stowing away with the humans? Although heaven knows the food probably wouldn't be much better in the country.

Valentine's Day Apologies

It's a bit late but I would like to apologize for the Valentine's Day incident, although I really don't know why in the world you people keep trying to celebrate this holiday. Cupid is sure to sue you for endangering him, by making him fly about with Betsy Bear on a rampage. Anyway, Betsy has declared Valentine's Day a total success once again. If you're missing a candy filled heart, the remains are in the back yard, the same place as last year. Please remove them quickly before the bunnies come up with some idea for using them for gardening. And as for those of you who were foolish enough to get married yesterday, and there were a lot of you from what the television showed, honestly, you were just asking for what happened, now weren't you? Anyway, I do hope you didn't rent your cake stands, because the bunnies have already claimed them to hold plants. As for your toppers, the bunnies prefer gnomes for the garden, so come and collect them quickly before they start to remodel on them. Really, maybe next year you people will finally learn, and will spend the day hiding in your houses, so Betsy can't rob you blind.

Just Realized Something

I just realized something. All of my bad luck lately are things that could be considered good luck for the rabbits. That made me suspicious, so I did a bit of double-checking, and had my worst fears concerned. Nick the Cat appears in those dreadful bunny books! Honestly, I had almost forgotten about it, and since he appears as a villain, it didn't seem important, but apparently it is. And he is a black cat. Appearing as a literary villain is probably considered a high achievement for his kind or something. So he is undoubtedly putting his bad luck causing powers towards assisting the bunnies! And with that horrible, horrible feline and his rotten relatives helping them, who knows how much bad luck I will end up with!

Continuing Bus Issues

My problems with the bus and planned trips by the human continue as well. It wasn't so bad when the bus opened up the Florida line down to the mouse's dwelling, and the luxury hotel for my kind, but these new lines, oh, they should be ashamed! There was an article in the paper all about the line that runs right by the archives, and of course it just made the human more eager to visit the horrible place. Really, that awful tree of hers does not need more encouragement! I don't want to think of how tall a trip to the state archives might make it grow. I'm sure it's already a safety hazard, from the potentially falling nuts alone! And then, if this trip goes well, the human is talking about another trip, out to the land of the bears, to attempt to sell those bear books! And what in the world am I going to do if she does that? Visiting the birthplace of the bears is sure to result in more siblings for me, and what if she DOES sell those books? I sense work on the horizon if that happens!

Human's Bed

I staked out the human's bed this morning, and what did I see, tucked under the covers with her, but that rabbit again, all snuggled up, and likely whispering horrible ideas involving seed, and who knows what else to the human. I ended up hopping up onto the bed, to try to get the bunny back under control. Not that it worked, I'm sorry to say. All the bunny did when she saw me was to pull back the covers, and offer to scoot over a bit so I could snuggle up too! The bunny wanted me to sleep with her! Really, sleeping with a bunny! She was probably hoping that her vegetarianism would rub off on me in my sleep if I had accepted her offer!

Food Co-Op Gets Worse

And things are getting worse for me with the food co-op. I swear, that business should be illegal. Now Betsy is getting into the act. It turns out that the place as a giant vat of honey, sitting unguarded, with a little spout that flips right open to allow the honey to flow out into jars, or as Betsy is now planning, into a delinquent bear. Oh, this is just horrible! Betsy could have offered to assist the bunnies with their book, to give her an excuse for a co-op visit, but no, that would be too easy. Instead she is urging the human to finish one of the bear books, so those can be sold at the co-op too, and she will have a perfect reason to go along, and get her paws on that honey! And what am I going to do if the human listens and finishes a bear book? I appear in those! If those books are made available for sell, I will be expected to assist with selling! And then I will be declared an accomplice to honey theft when Betsy gets loose!

More Food Co-op Issues

As if it wasn't bad enough that the food co-op sold the polar bear that corn, today was even worse. The polar bear was lounging on the bed, undoubtedly planning how to creep under the covers with the human, when she asked the bunny who was sitting there, likely plotting the same thing if one of the bunny books didn't involve the food co-op. Much to my horror, the rabbit thought about it, and said that a couple did. A COUPLE! You know what that means! Now the bunnies will want to go there to try to sell books when the human gets them finished! Do you know how long book signings can last? And I'm sure the bunnies won't all stay at the human's little signing table the entire time either. They'll probably take shifts, with some shopping for seeds will others sign

Total, Utter Disaster

The human went out today, and before I could stop her, one of the polar bears wrapped up in a scarf and hopped into the human's bookbag. I thought they were just going out for a fillet o' fish. That's what the bear was waving a coupon for, and since the humans were discussing eating too, I thought I was safe. The polar bear would get the fish and return without any issues. Little did I know. It turns out that the human decided to drop in on the food co-op for some sort of beauty product after lunch, and of course the polar bear trotted along. She had a sack in her paws when she returned, that she proudly presented the bunnies. A sack with corn seed in it! Over a quarter pound of colored popcorn seed, all ready for planting. Needless to say, the bunnies were thrilled. Well, I am NOT thrilled! Now I will be forced to live in a colorful corn maze! Do you know how many popcorn seed are in a quarter pound?

Human Napping

I poked my head into the human's room when she was napping, to make sure that I didn't see any signs of archive trip planning, only to spot something worse. A pair of floppy ears were poking out from beneath the covers, and when I crept closer, I saw that the ears were attached to a bunny! A bunny that was snuggled in the human's arms! She was sleeping with a rabbit! Oh, I sense a disaster brewing if the bunnies have convinced the human that they're wonderful sleep companions. That will only make her fonder of them, and likely to listen to any suggestion they offer her. And what if they suggest my food should be replaced with vegetables? She could very well listen!

Horrible Archives

The human's planned archive trip is getting worse. Now she's talking about staying over for a couple of nights to get all of the research she can done. What am I supposed to do if the humans are gone a couple of nights? I just know my food dish will end up empty again like it did the time they went to visit that ill relation, and then what will become of me? I will be trapped here with a batch of devout vegetarian bunnies who are just dying to convert me! I will be forced to eat a vegetable or starve! What in the world can I do to prevent this?

Carrot Juice

I spotted several rabbits juicing carrots today, and then even more alarming, several more bunnies were online, reading a recipe for mixing up some carrot shampoo that a fellow bunny had posted. And who is this carrot mix intended for, that's what I would like to know. I am missing a brush, and I know that's the sound of water running in the tub. I very much fear that the bunnies plan to capture me and force me to be washed with their carrot product! What if it turns me orange? A refuse to look like a carrot for those rabbits' amusement!

And More Problems

If I thought it was safe to set a paw outside, I would, to check the premises for any signs of Nick the Cat and his awful relations. I am sure they are to blame for all of my current troubles. As if the bunny beauty products, rapidly increasing numbers of siblings and other assorted woes I've suffered of late isn't enough, now the bus company is causing issues once more, with a quick and cheap route right down to the state archives. The human has already looked at things, and is making plans to book her trip as soon as possible. Oh, no good can come of this. If she visits those archives, it will only lead to the growth of that horrible tree of hers. Does anyone have any suggestions for how I can prevent this? The bunnies have already offered to provide the two dollars for the bus ride so hiding money is out.

Bunny Beauty

You will never believe this, but a batch of rabbits have gone into the beauty business! One of the bunnies hopped out with the human today before I could stop her, and when she returned, she happily shared with the rest of the rabbits the news about these cosmetics, shampoos and lotions. One of them even has carrots in the name of the item, so everyone will know right away that bunnies are responsible for this! Bunny beauty products. And the human is thinking of trying out some of this merchandise too. The bunnies let her pet their silky fur and reassured her that the bunny products can do wonders for her as well. They even suggested that I should try out the bunny line, saying it would greatly improve my fur. My fur looks just fine, thank you very much, although I'm sure that won't stop the bunnies from insisting I need to wash in carrot shampoo to look my best! Bunny beauty products, really! What's going to happen next? Are they going to take to selling the things door to door?

Horrible, Horrible Saturday

I don't think a day could go worse if it tried. I swear, I never imagined so many horrors in one day were possible, yet there they were, bright and early this morning. First, the humans went out to breakfast and a funeral home, and a bear trotted along. It was a relatively well behaved bear too, so I wasn't too worried. Needless so say, I should have been. That bear was supposed to get a honey breakfast, visit the funeral home with the humans and return right home! But, oh, you won't believe what she did! She visited the homeless shelter! She visited Habitat for Humanity! When that bear returned home she had two more siblings for me, three magazines on quilt construction for the polar bears and a magazine on cottage design for the bunnies! I have never seen such in my life! I'm up to 721 siblings, and I don't like how the bunnies are reading their magazine, making notes and looking at me either! I think I must ban all bears from venturing out in the future. It just isn't safe for me!

Tomato Festival

The bunnies are already making plans for the tomato festival this year, and it is over five months away! Oh, this means trouble, I am sure of it. The bunnies feel certain the human will have a book ready for selling purposes by then, which means she will need a booth at the tomato fest. A booth! If the human gets a booth at this awful event it means she will want to be there for both days, and of course she won't want to come back here and then have to drive back, which means she will head for the country cottage! I will be forced at the least to go to the cottage, if the bunnies don't think of something worse to force me to do! And who knows what other events they could find in the country, to attend, and to force me to the country cottage for? I'm doomed!

Groundhog's Day

The let the groundhogs have another day this year. Really, who arranges such events? I'm sure it is the same person who is to blame for the Year of the Rabbit. Anyway, my groundhog siblings have been partying all day, and then gloating over seeing their shadows and inflicting six more weeks of winter on us. Groundhogs have no meteorological training. I don't see why they get to dictate the weather, but apparently someone thought it was a wonderful idea to put them in charge of deciding the length of winter. Needless to say, the polar bears aren't taking it well, and are running around panicked, claiming they won't be able to take six more weeks to spring. Six more weeks! My tail will be flat if I have to endure six weeks of panicked bears!

Polar Bear Going Out Again

The polar bear went out again, but this time I think my luck might have changed. It was raining today, and was a bit chilly out. The bear had to hide in the back seat of the car under a blanket instead of lounging in the human's book bag like she always does. When she returned, she was complaining about her ears and nose being cold from the trip, and I think I hear her still complaining. Oh, happy day! As long as that bear is objecting and complaining of the cold, then she isn't likely to want to go out again, and invite more siblings to move in! Oh, happy day for me!

Polar Bear Going Out

One of the polar bears trotted out bright and early this morning. I allowed this after the bear swore that she was going to breakfast at the clown's restaurant down the street. It wasn't until after she had hopped in the human's bag and was almost out the door that she called out that she was riding uptown with the humans after eating, and then might swing by a few stores to help my human with urgent shopping. I was on pins and needles, literally with the needles, all day, sure that I would end up with more siblings until they returned. Really, I have got to figure a way to ban those bears from leaving the house!

Polar Bear Does it Again

I thought I was keeping a close eye on that bear, since she lagged in all of the new siblings a few days ago, but today the polar bear said she was going out again to the clown's restaurant. She even had a coupon in her paws for fillet o' fish so I thought it would be okay. WRONG! It turns out instead of going to the restaurant the clown runs barely four blocks from here, this bear ventured to the branch across the road from the homeless shelter! And of course, after eating she dropped in, and of course, there was a bear there, all eager to move in! I now have 719 siblings!

Snoring

I have yet another issue with that new polar bear, besides, of course, the fact that he is yet another in my horrifying number of siblings. It turns out this cub snores! A snoring bear, and of course he's a rather lazy thing, sleeping enough to almost be cat-like so there is a lot of snoring that I am exposed to. Does anyone have any suggestions for what to do about something like this? The polar bears are still insisting I share their den, so it's more than a bit annoying!

Another Human Relative

Just wonderful. Another one of the human's relations, the very one who caused me all of the trouble last year that nearly resulted in my becoming a vegetarian, has taken ill again. The human got the news this morning, and now there is a discussion on going up to look in on this relative going around that is more than a bit alarming. And what in the world am I going to do if the humans do go off to visit? I don't like how the bunnies keep looking at my dish, and then hopping over to check their salad ingredients, as if they are trying to see what sort of salad would fit in there! As soon as the humans depart, they'll be there, trying to force me to convert, I just know it!

Sibling Nightmare

One of the polar bears and a cub trotted out again today. I thought they were going to drop in on that clown's restaurant down the road to get a sack of fillet o' fish, so I wasn't too concerned. But then they were gone much longer than would be needed to make a food purchase from that clown, and you won't believe what they had with them when they came back! They had dropped in on the homeless shelter, and gathered more siblings! I am now up to 718 siblings. And worse, they invited another polar bear to move in! Another polar bear! And this one is a chatty thing too, and big even though they say he's still a cub. I hate to think of what size he will be when grown if this is his cub size. Really, I'm almost tempted to demand the weatherman send more snow. I think I would rather risk my tail instead of taking a chance on the polar bears going out again!

Dragons!

Tracy and Danica got an email from their dragon cousins today, saying they would love to drop by to discuss plans for the Year of the Dragon. I tried to keep them from seeing it, but somehow those dragons had attached a little growl sound to the email, so the dinosaurs knew they had mail. The bunnies offered to supply the food for this gathering too. There is going to be trouble, I just know it. Those rabbits are already hard at work, getting recipes for grilled vegetables that they are sure the dragons will love together. VEGETABLES! If the dragons aren't already vegetarians, they will be by the time the bunnies are through! Another year focused on vegetables! What did I do so wrong to be punished like this? And even worse, what if a few dragons decide to move in with their cousins?

Dragons and Dinosaurs!

I can't believe this! At first I thought those bunnies were fibbing, saying the dinosaurs were cousins to the dragons, but then Tracy Triceratops and Danica Dinosaur rolled out their family tree this afternoon for me, and there the dragons were, perched on a limb, waving their claws! This is horrible! And my dinosaur sisters have already sent an invitation to their cousins, asking them over for a party to celebrate their shiny new year! Nothing good can come of this. I'm sure the bunnies will be attending this party as well, and will be full of suggestions for what they did for their year. And worse, Danica and Tracy are both devout vegetarians! What if their cousins the dragons are as well? The vegetarians do not need another year! Why, oh why, couldn't they give another year to something sensible, like the rodents? At least they are cheesateraian!

Not So Fast, Brother

Not so fast, brother. It's Josie Rabbit here. We just checked, and did you know that the dinosaurs are cousins to the dragons? Naturally, Tracy Triceratops and Danica Dinosaur plan to help celebrate their cousins' good fortune in getting an entire year devoted to them, and we have a ton of suggestions, left over from our year. Oh, it's going to be a great year! And Tracy and Danica are both vegetarians, you know, so we're sure they'll love all of our suggestions!

Year of the Dragon

Hallelujah! The Year of the Rabbit is finally over, and they are giving a year to something sensible, like the dragon! Really, I don't think I could imagine a worse thing than a year devoted for rabbits if I tried. I don't know how they bribed someone to give them one. I'm sure the year of the dragon will be much better, and thank goodness, no dragons live here to annoy me with celebrations over their year!

I am Worried

I am more than a bit concerned. I caught one of the bunnies reading the print version of How to Wash a Cat and another rabbit reading the ebook version. And now I hear running water and a large bottle of feline shampoo is missing. How alarmed do you suppose I should be by this? And can the author of this book be held accountable in a court of law for writing an instructional manual on forcing a feline into water exposure?

Sibling Update

I can't believe this. Santa, I suppose in some sort of attempt to avoid Betsy Bear, or throw her off the trail, dropped by today with the human's gifts, almost a month late. And would you believe what he had for her? Three more bears! I am us to 715 siblings! And even worse, one of them is a polar bear! Five adult polar bears are here now, plus the three cubs. And I'm sure this one will expect me to share their den too. I can't believe this. Sleeping with so many bears. Why isn't there some sort of law? How could Santa do this?

Polar Bear Food

The polar bears had more fish today, fish patties this time, one per bear and then a couple for the cubs to share. And would you believe that once again, I went fishless? The polar bears told me that I should stick to the food in my dish, since that was what the humans served, or if I insisted, I could share the rabbits' meal, a giant bowl of CARROTS! Really, why isn't such behavior illegal, denying such a nice feline as myself fish, and worse, trying to force me into eating a vegetable?

Sign

I was strolling by the picture window this afternoon when I saw a truly alarming sight. A batch of squirrels were in the front yard, putting up a sign under the direction of the bunnies, declaring our yard is the future home of the world's largest corn maze and pumpkin patch! And then they presented the squirrels with a large sack of corn seed for planting purposes! With a sack of seed that size, this corn maze is going to happen sure! I don't want to live in a corn maze! And what in the world am I going to do if I need to go somewhere? How will I find my way out once the stalks go up?

Yarn Troubles

The polar bears saw a picture of some knitted or crocheted blankets, and now they are plotting to make similar items to snuggle under. I wouldn't mind this, since normally it would mean yarn entertainment, but the bears are horribly, unfairly protective of that yarn, and don't even like my looking at it. Really, what do they think I'm going to do to harm their precious yarn? And they're still demanding I share their den, too. Have you ever tried to sleep in a place packed with multiple large needles and hooks?

Polar Bear Ventured Out

The humans found and finished off the pack of fish sticks the polar bears had hidden in the freezer to supply them with snacks in case of snow, so one of them had to venture out today to lay in supplies. Since fish was involved, I offered to handle this for the bears, but for some reason I don't think they trust me around such foods. Anyway, the bear trotted out, or more appropriately, rode out, in the human's book bag and returned smelling suspiciously of fillet o' fish, and with a sack from that clown's business with food for her fellow bears. And would you believe they wouldn't hand a single fillet over for me? All the offered was half a BUN!

Zoo Horrors

You won't believe what our local zoo has decided to do. Honestly, they must have put loons in charge over there or something. They have decided to allow obviously insane humans to get married at the zoo now. That's probably what the construction they have going on is related to. They're probably installing a wedding pavilion or something! Really, what in the world are they thinking, allowing weddings over there? I know some zoos down in Florida do foolish things like that, but really, them doing it here is just a total sign of insanity. I'm sure all it will do is attract my siblings. The penguins are already preening and fluffing their feathers, trying to make sure they look their best for the weddings they're sure that they will be invited to, with their built in formal wear. And if some humans are nutty enough to want to marry at the zoo, it isn't such a stretch that they will want to invite the penguins to attend. This is going to be a disaster, I just know it. And if the penguins get themselves invited to weddings, I am sure the zebras will be next. Nothing good can come of this.

Bear Roommate

Being those polar bears' new roommate is never going to work, at least not in their current den. I don't know how in the world they fit in there, and certainly have no clue how they expect me to move in. Really, the thing is maybe a 2 foot by 2 foot square den, if it's even that big, and with the number of polar bear sisters I have, not to mention the cubs, I'm sure it violates some sort of rule about number of residents allowed. I was stepped on all last night. I've got to convince them to move into the cozy box I've made my bed in although how I'll do that, I'll never know. with their quilt obsession, and the fact that their den's quilted, needless to say, they don't want to move out, no matter how big I tell them my box is, and how much more paw space it offers. They just claim that the smaller space saves more warmth. Really, all the smaller space does is gets my tail stepped on, and I'm sure the bears are going to be along any minute, wanting to drag me to bed again!

Bear Den

The polar bears' obsession with warmth continues to cause problems for me. They ought to be ashamed of their latest idea. I was snoozing innocently in my bed, when the lot of them came trotting in, and the next thing you know they were examining my fur. I'm sure they insulted it, calling it thin and not very plush, unlike their own thick fur, but they decided it would do none the less. Worst luck. Now they have ordered me to move out of my own cozy bed and into their den! They expect me to snooze with them, so they can get extra warmth from MY fur! The warmth from this fur should go to no one but me, I'll have those bears know, but I'm sure if I don't show up in their den they'll track me down and drag me in. Really, they ought to be ashamed, and how in the world will I ever explain, should other cats learn that I am sleeping with bears?

More Snow

More snow is looming in the weather forecast. I swear the weatherman was almost chuckling when he gave that bit of news. Really, he ought to be ashamed of himself, gloating when my poor tail in endangered, due to his panicking of the polar bears. An entire weekend of snow. Perhaps I ought to invest in some sort of tail protector. With an entire weekend with snow due and time to panic, my tail is surely in the greatest of danger. The polar bears are all clustered in the human's room now, listening to the heater running, and debating if it is making funny noises, that might potential signal problems. And what in the world are we going to do if the heater fails? Going to stay with the dogs will be our only option. And, of course those dogs both have little, short tails, unlike my fine, long tail, so I won't be able to share the burden of being trampled by the bears.

Snow Coming Down

It's snowing, and rather hard too. Needless to say, the polar bears are pitching a fit over this weather and are demanding something be done right away to ensure their warmth. There is also a good bit of wind, and they're very worried that the power might go out. And what in the world am I going to do if the power goes out and the heat fails? I refuse to chop wood to build a fire for those bears! My paws are nice and soft, thank you very much, and being forced to cope with an axe would ruin them! I suppose if the power fails, I will have no choice but to go and stay with the dogs. They have to be better than panicked polar bears.

Koalas

I have no idea why the polar bears did this. Honestly, it's summer in Australia right now. It isn't like this is going to be useful, but for some reason, the polar bears have found something offering quilt patterns based on the animals of Australia, including the koalas. Enough koalas live here already, I will have them know. They don't need to be trying to attract more. I suppose it's a good thing that it's summer down there while the polar bears are poking at this, though. It isn't like any of the Australian animals will need quilts, and thus will want to move in.

Squirrel Reading

I'm afraid the squirrel enjoyed the book. Really, I just knew this was going to happen when the bunnies let him get his paws on that book. He trotted over here this morning, and has been on the porch with the rabbits ever since, discussing literature, and I'm sure making plans to convert other squirrels to readers too. Only disaster can come of of all of the local squirrel population taking to reading. And what if they decide to amuse themselves reading books on corn mazes? The bunnies are already wanting to convert the front yard if not the entire neighborhood, town and state into a corn maze, and have been working at recruiting the squirrels for planting the corn seed. If the squirrels are able to read books about the mazes the bunnies want, it will only make them enthusiastic, and what if they get ideas for how to make the corn maze even worse? I wonder of I have time to demand the library ban them?

More January Issues

Yes, I absolutely have to trade this month. Now I have a problem with the squirrel, that I'm sure won't end well. The bunnies happened upon a story by their beloved bunny author, starring a squirrel, and of course they just had to present a copy to their squirrel buddy, to encourage him to become literate. He's tucked into his tree right now, looking it over, and the bunnies are sure it will lead to a lifetime of reading for him. And what if it leads to the squirrel getting a library card? Goodness knows that library isn't selective about who they give those little things to. No good can come of that squirrel becoming a reader. Like my siblings, he will just get his paws on books about seed and the planting of seed. That can only lead to disaster! Really, how much longer is this month going to last, and how much worse will it get?

Trading January

I wonder what I would have to do to trade this month for something else? It surely is doing nothing but causing problems for me, and I will be ever so happy to have it gone. I can't believe what this month has done now. Really, why isn't stuff like this illegal, torrmenting a feline so? The human got the happy news today that someone is getting married at church, and now she has the idea of asking if this lady needs someone to make food, or possibly to assemble favors. No matter what task the human offers, all I can see is work for me! You know the rabbits won't let me take my favorite position of snoozing when any sort of work is going on. They'll craft me and force me into an assembly line, or into an apron for baking assistance. What in the world am I going to do?

Trouble Looming

The human got the news today that a relative has taken ill and is in the hospital. I sense trouble looming for me. You might remember last year, that at about this time, a relative took ill, and the humans trotted off to visit, almost resulting in my conversion to vegetarianism when they stayed away too long and I ran out of food. What do I do if that happens this time? The rabbits are looking at me and chuckling suspiciously. I just know they're making plans to force me into a life of salads and other alarming vegetables. Really, why can't these humans behave and stop causing me such horrible trouble?

Kindle Requests

I think I ought to be very concerned about this. The human just sent in a request to the library for some books in ebook format that they don't have yet. Really, requesting ebooks. I sense much danger in this. What if the rabbits decide to request special ebooks next, books about gardening or work? Isn't it bad enough that the library allowed them all to have cards and hop in any time they like to check out frightening numbers of terrifying titles? What will I do if they start letting them special order ebooks too?

Food Bag

Really, I don't know what the humans' problem is. They left the sack holding my food out today, and of course I decided to serve myself from it. But when the people found out, they got all upset, and now the sack is wrapped in three different bags until it can be added to my food bin. Why in the world did they get so upset over my serving myself? You would think they would appreciate the bother I was saving them, of having to struggle with the food bin lid!

The Kindle

The bunnies left the Kindle unguarded for a bit, and by slipping under the bed, and behind the desk, I was able to get my paws on it, to check out what they are reading. OH, you won't believe this! They have a book on starting SEED on there! SEED! And they just got a big, fat seed catalog in the mail! Oh, this doesn't bode well at all. I'm sure that book will encourage them terribly. Do you suppose I could risk erasing it from the Kindle before they could read too much?

Snow Today

There was snow on the ground this morning, and polar bears still in a panic. Really, why don't they go up the street and torment the weatherman for inflicting this weather on us instead of making me miserable? Oh, right. Going to torment him would require venturing outside, and heaven knows they have no intention of risking getting a paw in the snow. Until spring arrives, the only way those bears will leave the house will be in a human's arms, and wrapped in a ton of blankets. So the weatherman gets of totally free for doing this, unless.... Perhaps I might have just found a use for that squirrel after all. The weatherman's little station is only a short scamper away. I wonder how much the squirrel would charge to trot up there each morning and borrow his car keys?

Possible Polar Bear Plot Moving Up?

The polar bears and grizzlies' plot to take over a few states and form a bear republic might have been moved up the time scale, and frankly, I blame the weatherman for it. Once more, that horrible person is calling for snow, sending my polar bear sisters into a panic. The fluffy white stuff has been floating down, and my poor tail has been nearly trampled by their big paws more times than I want to think of. And I just heard them talking about how nice a roaring fire would be to get all snuggly warm, and how all they needed for this item is human to chop the wood. I'm sure they're thinking of making wood chopping another task for the humans are living in what will soon be bear country, along with paying taxes in fish and wo

Happy New Year, at Least For Betsy Bear

Well, another New Year is here, and I can already tell that it is shaping up to be a disaster. The humans went out to eat, and would you believe that in the gift shop of the restaurant they visited, they were putting out Valentine's items, including Valentine's candy? Needless to say, Betsy Bear was very pleased to learn of this. Really, what was that place thinking? It is six weeks until Valentine's Day! Do they really want to have merchandise in their store that will attract Betsy Bear for six weeks? They will be wiped out! And this is the place that keeps selling the human highly caffeinated cake too. I f Betsy gets her paws on that, I don't think the state, or possibly the country will survive. The only way things are kept functioning now is due to the fact that the bear occasionally snoozes, and gives the normal people time to obtain food. Six weeks, and that bear possibly getting her paws on dangerous cake. We are all doomed!

Bunny Issues Too

As if it isn't bad enough that there is a massive bear plot to take over one or more states, now the bunnies are up to something, and I'm not sure I want to know what it is. The first seed catalog arrived just yesterday, and as expected, they bounced around reading it, and then they hopped outside to show it off to their new squirrel friend. I'm not allowed to even look at the door anymore, but I watched them from the window. One squirrel soon increased to many squirrels gathered around the catalog each armed with a little pencil and pad of paper. I can only pray I saw it incorrectly, but it looked like they were drawing up plans for the world's largest corn maze, which will take up the whole of this state from the Virginia border, down to the Georgia line. And with the squirrels involved, I fear this corn maze might actually happen! What in the world are our neighbors going to think if they wake up to find they're living in a corn maze one day?

Bear Plot

If you live in Alaska, I suggest you start hunting sheep, and possibly fish now, to pay your taxes come April. The polar bears have befriended the grizzly bears. There was a special about it on PBS. Really, should they be allowed to broadcast something alarming like that on the channel where children watch those funny puppet things? Anyway, the bears have teamed up, and with the polar bears' new wealth, I'm sure they're plotting to take over Alaska and make it succeed from the Union. So if you should want to keep living there, I suggest that you start looking for an appropriate payment for your new bear overlords now. True, Alaska is kind of cold, so they'll probably eventually swap it for a warmer state, but until then, be prepared to pay bushels of wool and tons of fish for the privilege of living on the bears' new property.

Continuing Kindle Ownership

The bunnies' preoccupation with that Kindle continues. Normally, I would be thrilled, since it might distract them from attempts to make me work, but right now I'm very nervous about the thing and what the rabbits might be reading on it. I'm sure that there is nothing in their reading list on the benefits of laziness, and I wouldn't be surprised if they don't have a copy of that book on forcing cats to bathe as well. I tried to look at it this morning, to see what horrible materials they have but as soon as I laid a paw on it, I was pounced on by several bunnies, and accused of trying to scratch the nice screen with my claws. Really, the nerve of those rabbits! And now they are keeping a close eye on it, and another batch are keeping a close eye on me, to make sure I don't bother their precious little machine!

This Christmas

This Christmas was a terrible success for Betsy, I am very sorry to say, which means that it was the stuff of nightmares for regular people. Really, I don't know why those poor people don't give up on celebrating the holiday, and I certainly don't understand why Santa keeps foolishly attempting to deliver gifts. If you lost food this holiday season, well, it's your own fault for not eating quickly enough before Betsy could get to your house, now isn't it? And if you lost socks that you had foolishly hung with care, the polar bears are using them for paw warmers. Good luck getting them away from those bears. As for anyone missing sweaters, I just hope you didn't need them, for Betsy has sold the entire lot to various flocks of sheep, who suffered a horrible wool loss after the polar bears got through with them. Really, I don't know why you people keep trying. All you're doing is feeding that bear, and possibly encouraging the polar bears.

Kindle's Here

The Kindle has arrived, and needless to say, the bunnies are thrilled with it. They're all gathered around it now, poking at it to figure out how to load what I'm sure is a terrifying amount of rabbit reading material onto it. Does anyone know the best way to block them from obtaining gardening guides? Heaven knows what they might accomplish should they make those things portable!

Reciprocating

Does anyone know of there are any rules for reciprocating Christmas gifts? More specifically, are there rules for what a good, decent feline should do if you work hard each year, and send gifts to relations, who constantly forget to gift you with something in return? I don't blame the dogs, of course. They're shut-ins, who aren't allowed out of their yard to go shopping, but really, what in the world is their human thinking? Is there something that I should be doing about this situation? For several years this has gone on, with my gifting these canines with no return gift. Should I assume their human is horribly prejudiced against felines?

Rabbit Reading

Horrible news. The bunnies are getting a Kindle for Christmas. I can only assume that their leader, the Easter Bunny, had a chat with Santa and somehow convinced him that the bunnies had been extra good, and were deserving of this. Well, Santa should be ashamed of letting a cotton-tailed creature fool him in this way! A Kindle. Horrors, horrors, horrors! Do you know how easy having one of those things in their paws will make carrying around books about work? And books on gardening? How can Santa do this? Do you think it's too late to try to get their present revoked?

Santa

Just a few more days until Santa starts out on his attempt to once more deliver gifts. I do hope he's had the opportunity to double his insurance since last year, for goodness knows, Betsy has doubled the number of traps she has on hand to capture him, and get all of his goodies. I think I might have to find a hiding place come Christmas Eve, to avoid the chaos that is sure to result. I wonder if hiding in the lower branches of the Christmas tree might work? Goodness knows that Santa won't reach it, and as long as no one gifts us with food, Betsy will leave it alone. I wonder how I should go about constructing an ornament disguise?

This Afternoon

This afternoon it was the mice the human let go out, to visit a restaurant and order a cheeseburger, hold the burger, bun and everything but the cheese. Perhaps I can convince the human to let the mice go out again, instead of allowing who knows which ones of my siblings to trot out next? Perhaps going out will put those mice in the mood to make a longer trip to visit their large rodent cousin, with me along for the ride, and for the cheese when I get there.

Owl

The human let my owl sibling flap out of the house this afternoon to accompany her to yet another doctor's appointment. Really, I don't know why she keeps letting my siblings trot out, and then has problems when I try to go out to prevent the squirrel from converting our yard into a pumpkin patch or a corn field. Anyway, the owl came home all fired up from being allowed out, and now refuses to head for bed for the night. Just perfect. How am I supposed to get sleep with an owl hooting, and flittering around the house all night?

Wart Report

The human limped off to the doctor today, to get that wart looked at, in the company of a bear and the anteater, and the next thing I know she's limping home, in worse condition than she left in. Apparently the doctor decided to try to scrape a bit of wart skin off with a scalpel or something, and needless to say, it didn't go well. The human is practically sobbing from pain at the moment, and her foot usage is very limited. Really, why in the world didn't that bear do something to prevent this? Now how will get proper service?

The Zoo

As if things weren't going badly enough, with Betsy taking to train robbery, one of the bears reported passing the zoo while they were out with the humans, and seeing that construction work is being done there, probably to make it nicer for the residents, although really they ought to be working on improving security, with how often various creatures pop over here for parties. At first, I wasn't sure why I needed to know about this, but then it hit me. If work is being done at the zoo, there will be noise, and I'm sure that the penguins will object to that, never mind the red pandas, zebras and who knows what other animals. So, they'll likely be looking for somewhere else to stay until the humans are finished with their zoo improvement project. And why do I have a feeling that my siblings are going to offer this place as temporary accommodations? Well, they better not invite the lions, is all that I can say! My box isn't big enough for one of those!

Train Robbery

I'm sorry I didn't post last night, but I was trying to lay low. The human let Betsy Bear out to visit the mall, and I was sure that the law would be arriving any second to arrest that awful bear for the robbery of the train they had running, circling the mall walkways. There were a number of children on it that Betsy held up for all of their candy. Those poor, poor children. They'll will probably need counseling for their robbery trauma, and I'm sure they got to see Betsy attack Santa's representative too, for all of his candy canes. I don't know why the mall doesn't do something, having a screener at the door to make sure that bear doesn't get in!

Pictures

The bunnies hopped around a bit ago to show me something. Apparently dollars y several places are offering a hundred dollars for photos of my kind. One cat has even earned cash already with a photo of himself in a hat like the rabbits had the human purchase for me. A hundred dollars. Do you suppose this is a sign that I should give in and wear the hat, at least for photo sessions? I could get a whole lot of cheese for that much money.

Today's Squirrel Report

The bunnies have convinced the human to scatter corn seed in the front yard now, and of course their little squirrel buddy darted right over to check the seed out. I spotted him from the window, digging, and I am sure planting the seed. Wasn't the pumpkin seed and plotting to turn the yard into a giant pumpkin patch bad enough? Now they want to add a corn maze to the mix! And I am not fooled by their reassurances that a corn maze would bring in lots of money for us. I'm sure all it will do is result in the entrapment of our neighbors, if they foolishly try dropping by.

Bunny Party

The human went out to that store that was having a sale on books again, and you won't believe the horror she found. A book, showing how to have a party devoted to the rabbits' beloved bunny author! Really, why in the world did some place create such a work, much less put it out where my human could purchase it? Needless to say, the bunnies were thrilled when she gave it to them, though, and they have been reading ever since, and are undoubtedly planning to host the sort of celebration the book recommends. They'll probably pop invitations to all of their rabbit friends into the mail tomorrow. Really, doesn't the mailman have enough troubles this time of year, lagging around Christmas cards, without adding bunny mail to his burdens?

Dinosaur?

How worried do you suppose I should be that the human has been looking at a picture of this creature who is apparently begging for a good home? Just look at the size of the horns on that thing, and I'm sure it's an elephant, so it is likely a vegetarian. That's just what we don't need around here, more vegetarians, especially one with horns that could serve as PLOWS! I sense the garden growing by leaps and bounds if that thing gets in here.

Cheerleader Rabbit

Another bunny came hopping into the house today, along with a dog, bringing my sibling count up to 712. And this rabbit seriously worries me. She's in a cheerleader outfit, you see, and I'm sure that doesn't bode well at all. A cheerleader. She'll probably lurk in the garden come spring, calling out cheers to encourage the vegetables! Isn't talking with plants supposed to help their growth? If that works, I hate to think what cheering for them will do.

Non Speaking

Upon hearing of my possible video appearance, the bunnies did some checking for me, and they told me this afternoon, when I tried to demand they stop looking for a carrot print Kindle case so I could get online to learn the best techniques for memorization, that they're sure this part will be a non-speaking role. Do you suppose I should be offended by that? As a cat, I'm sure I could add a ton to the video on the topic of cat fur, but at the same time, if the role is non-speaking, it might indicate that noise is to be kept at a minimum, which might mean that I will not have to wear the collar with the bell. And if I don't have to wear that collar while filming, then the bunnies might forget to poke it back on me afterwards! Perhaps silence is a virtue?

Possible Video

The human hobbled to her doctor today, and it turns out he's making an educational video, including a segment on cat fur. Well, he can't do a segment on cat fur without a cat, now can he? Naturally, the human suggested me for the role, and I'm sure I would be just perfect. I wonder what collar would look best on film? Perhaps I should send the bunnies out to do a bit of shopping for me.

Sleeping Assignment

This isn't the best photo, I suppose, but here is where the bunnies intend to force me to sleep, when I am drug to the country.

My assigned sleeping space will be just behind where the anteater is sitting.

Book Horrors

The human heard back from the human she's asking about artwork for those frightening books of hers. I don't know if I should hope that this works out or not. True, the books might distract my siblings from their plans to force me to wear headgear, but what if getting the books finally together provides encouragement for them? Betsy Bear plays a rather prominent role in those children's books, and goodness knows that bear doesn't need any encouragement.

Bunny Book

The human went to a store today, and what did she come home with but a book, all about the bunnies' beloved bunny author's works. Such an annoying looking book, with bunnies all over the cover. The rabbits were very pleased with it, though, and now they're all clustered around, looking at it, and it's big enough that several bunnies can check it out at once. And even worse, it has crafts in it, bunny related crafts! You know they're going to want to make all of those, and I'm sure they're going to try drafting me to assist!

Hatted Again

I was innocently napping, when I was pounced on, and hatted again this afternoon. After much studying of me, my siblings have concluded that the hat looks best draped jauntily over one ear. So, I can look forward to spending my holiday with a sibling pouncing on me every time I turn around, and poking the hat on. Maybe I ought to offer to help them with their evil plans for getting their books published. They're looking for an illustrator now, you know. Perhaps if I could get them occupied with that, it would distract them from poking headgear on me!

A Hat

Sorry I haven't posted for a few days. First I was trying to cope with the dizzy human, who was keeping the computer off, and then I was in hiding. You won't believe what happened to me last night. The human had gone out, in the company of a rabbit, I am sure, and when she returned, she had a HAT! A hat in MY size! It's a Santa hat, bright red with a pom pom on the end. And of course the bunnies insisted I try it on, so pictures could be taken. I have never been so embarrassed in my life, and with my numerous siblings' antics, that is saying something. Anyway, I finally escaped, and had to spend the evening staying out of sight, for fear of being hatted again.

Short Post

I'm afraid my post tonight will have to be short. The medicine the human is on has the unfortunate side effect of making her dizzy, which means she's keeping the computer off much of the time. That wouldn't be so back, but she's also keeping the power for it turned off, making it more than a little complicated for me to get it back on for my use. Really, what in the world was the human who gave he that medication thinking?

The Snow

I will have that horrible weatherman arrested for this, just see if I don't! Oh, how could he be so evil and why isn't someone doing something about it? The polar bears conned that soda company into donating umpteen dollars to them. Surely some of that money could be spent, to punish such horrible cruelty. The weatherman arranged for the first flakes of snow to arrive today, and I think you can safely guess how the polar bears took it. My poor tail will be squished, beneath their big feet, I am sure of it, with how they are running about, in a blind panic, trying to make sure they have enough blankets, hats, and sweaters to cope with the snowfall. My poor, poor tail, and it is all that weatherman's fault! He is sitting in his little studio up the street laughing! I can hear him!

Today's Report

We're in charge of the blog again this evening, while our brother paws through the phone book, trying to find the number to call, to get the authorities to come and drag all of Nick the Cat's relations away to jail for inflicting horrible luck upon our brother's head. Pinky is sure that they are to blame for all of his troubles. Not only is the weather man calling for snow still, and upsetting our poor polar bear sisters, but the human is now ill too. Really, we don't know exactly why that's alarming our brother so much. It isn't like the human was scheduled to do anything important this week that we'll have to take over running for her, but still, he sees the illness as just more bad luck to trouble him. Anyway, he'll be back as soon as he finds the phone number and arranges for those awful cats to be arrested.

Finally Back

I'm finally back, after the bunnies finally decided to deem the flea medication soaked in enough to render me safe. Really, I think I was fine the entire time, and they wanted an excuse to stay in charge of my blog longer. This will be a short post tonight. The weatherman has proven how truly evil he is once more, and is calling for snow. I think you can imagine how the polar bears are taking that. So, I have to try to find a place that is safe, as the run around panicking, and dragging every blanket in the place out to try to insure their warmth. Does anyone have any suggestions for the safest locations?

Sales!

The sales start in a few hours, and would you believe that some stores are having lovely specials on clothing for our brother this year. Do you think we should drag him along with us, to try things on, or should we just ask one of the polar bears, who is his size, to accompany us?

Gingerbread

Is everyone looking forward to the Friday Shop-a-thon? Our human is already making plans to limp to it, and of course, we will have to hop with her, to help with carrying bags, and that sort of thing. That isn't the most important thing, though. Starting on Friday, needy gingerbread people are going to be available for adoption. We hope all of you will take the time to help one of these poor creatures in finding a good home. We're hoping to take in two of them ourselves. Our only worry is how we will go about preventing Betsy from drooling or trying to snack on our new siblings. At least our brother, who is still banned from blogging, by the way, isn't fond of gingerbread, and will probably be okay with them.

Bebe and Josie Again

It's us, taking over the blog once more. Our brother was diagnosed with a flea today, likely picked up when he amused himself trotting outside, to try to run off our squirrel friend. He has been treated with flea medication, and is banned from laptop use until he is deemed safe once more, due to the human's allergies, and the potential for her turning into a hive covered mess should the flea medication bother her like the last pest repellant did. Should you see Pinky on here, please report him at once, so we can disinfect the laptop and protect our poor, poor human. Really, the hives were totally painful looking and disgusting the last time. We don't want a repeat.

Polar Bears and Soda

Three days where I've been able to blog. Perhaps the rabbits are starting to forget about my insults towards their squirrel friend. Oh, the horrors I have to report, though. The polar bear lobby has somehow convinced a soda company to devote funds to arranging their polar bear happiness. Every bottle in the house now has an announcement on it about helping those bears. Really, all of that attention. All it will do is make them get big heads, as if their heads weren't large enough already. And the poor sheep. I'm sure that some of this assistance the polar bears are trying to con the humans into giving them will involve robbing massive amounts of sheep of their wool, thus inflicting the horror of the naked sheep upon all sensible creatures. Really, what were those soda people thinking?

Yesterday

The bunnies are distracted, helping the polar bears with some sort of soda project, so it looks like I'll get to post two days in a row. Really, I thought I would faint when I learned what yesterday was! I don't know how in the world those sneaks did it, but somehow black cats managed to get yesterday declared some sort of official day in honor of black felines. Really, what in the world were the humans who granted them this day thinking? True, there are a number of decent cats of this fur color, who probably do deserve a day for themselves, but with Nick the Cat and his cousins trotting around, just think of the dangers! I'm sure that frightening amounts of bad luck and terror resulted yesterday, as those cats celebrated the day. It's a wonder the town is still standing!

Today's Evils

The bunnies finally got distracted, so I could slip back on here. Honestly, I don't know what those rabbits are thinking, trying to ban me from blogging, just because I was willing to speak up about the evil their new bushy tailed friend is plotting, with his attempts to turn the front yard into a pumpkin patch. Really. what will become of the neighbors if this squirrel succeeds in what he is up to? The squirrel isn't at the top of today's evils, though. That honor goes to the new penguin movie that was just released. Really, what in the world were the film studios thinking this year, first releasing a film about the head bunny and now this work? I hate to think of the number of penguins who have already fled various zoos to camp out in the theaters and watch this film. I'm sure the smell of their fishy treats and seafood sodas will be murder to get out of the carpets. And even worse, the polar bears managed to get their paws on a large stack of magazines today, devoted to the construction of various articles of clothing out of WOOL! Really, was this Be Kind to Animals Who Live In Cold Climates Day or something?

Brother's Bad Behavior Continues

Really, we don't know what in the world we are going to do about our brother. His bad behavior, harassing our new squirrel friend is continuing, and is highly annoying. He's taken to lurking in the window in the mornings, to shout out threats at the poor squirrel when he comes down from his tree for breakfast. We don't know what in the world we are going to do about him, we really don't, and we have a massive seed planting project scheduled for next week, too, when all of the humans finish up with pumpkins for their holiday pies.

Sorry We Didn't Post Last Night

We're very sorry we didn't post last night, but we were having to have a chat with our squirrel friend. Our brother made another attempt to trot out the door when the humans returned from the grocery store, after saying many unkind things about the squirrel, and the hard work he is doing, converting the front yard into a possible pumpkin patch come spring. Really, we don't know what his problem with that is, and won't he be happy not to have his naps disturbed by the lawnmower if the pumpkins take over? It took forever for us to convince the poor squirrel that our brother is certainly not going to get out and munch him down for a snack. Really, we don't know what we're going to do with that cat. At the rate he is going, he will never be allowed online again!

Nicest Squirrel

There is the nicest squirrel hanging out in the front yard. We think he must live in our neighbor's oak. Anyway, we're very pleased to have this squirrel as a neighbor. The humans put the pumpkin we were using for Halloween out in the yard for any needy animals, and the new squirrel neighbor trotted right over. And do you know what he has been doing? He's been burying the seeds! He's doing gardening! A gardening squirrel. What a nice creature, and a perfect friend for us. Honestly, our brother has been lurking in the window, yelling about this, and the fact that our front yard might be turned into a pumpkin patch come spring, but really we think he's just being ridiculous. And anyway, what's wrong with doing away with the yard for a pumpkin patch? It will save on mowing, and perhaps if we create a nice enough patch, it will lure in that Great Pumpkin creature that funny child with the blanket is always talking about.

Still No Feline Improvements

Our brother is still amusing himself being a horrible, horrible cat. Really, we don't know what in the world he is up to, although we are sure the fact that the human gave him cheese to lure him in the last time he got out the door has some baring on the situation. He probably has his eyes on getting the entire bag. Really, though, he is annoying the humans terribly. He tried to trot out again when we returned from our second trip to the country today. Oh, it is going to be so NICE when we finally get him up there, and away from these bad influence cats! We're sure they aren't helping the situation at all.

Still Hasn't Learned

Well, our brother still hasn't learned. He tried to duck out the door again, when the humans were getting things ready to go to the country. Really, we don't know what in the world he is thinking. Possibly he is talking to the wrong sort of cats. There has been a white cat hanging about lately that we thought would make a suitable friend, but perhaps that cat is one of Nick's relations, with his fur dyed as a disguise, trying to lure our brother into temptation. Really, we will be so happy when we get him up to the country and away from such bad influences. We checked out the beds today, and started working out the sleeping assignments. Our brother is currently assigned to the top bunk, row 2, space 6, right in the middle of three bunnies, a frog, a reindeer and four bears. That ought to be nice and cozy for him.

Did It Again

Our brother did it again, popping out the door, right under the human's cane, when they were returning from a visit to a church sale. Really, we don't know what in the world he was thinking and he is just lucky that horrible relation of Nick the Cat wasn't waiting to cross his path, and give him awful luck. He would have DESERVED it too, for alarming the humans so and making them run around trying to get him back in the house! So, he is banned from the computer until further notice as a result of this bad behavior. I wonder if we should go ahead and rename this blog? The Bunny Report, perhaps?

Congratulations to the Canaries!

We would like to extend our congratulations to any canaries who might be reading, on their new island ownership. Way to go, canaries! Was that new island very hard to make? Our human took a look a bit ago, and thinks it looks adorable. It's a bit small, yet, true, but we know you're still working on it. Have you thought about how you're going to decorate yet? We would be happy to contribute seeds to the cause of beautifying your new property. Just let us know what you would like, and we will be happy to send the seeds via our leader. We have some lovely Spanish seed that we are sure would be just perfect, that the Department of Rabbitculture sent us.

Josie Rabbit and Bebe Bunny Here

Hi, it's Josie and Bebe bringing you the blog tonight. Our human went to the doctor this afternoon, and when she returned, our brother decided to dodge right under her cane and go trotting out the front door. Really, we don't know what in the world he was thinking, although we are sure that cheese, and the potential for cheese being used to get him back inside was and idea floating between his pointy ears. The humans are very upset with him, though, and he is currently being punished, and being denied computer access. Until his punishment is over, the blog will be in our capable paws.

My Fate

The bully's mother won. My human is currently sobbing, and the rabbits are hovering, including Josie Rabbit camped out on the bed for hugging purposes. Really, what is that bunny thinking? Tears are horrible on fur. It will serve her right if she has to make an emergency appointment at the beauty parlor to get her fur fixed, after cozying up to the human like that. Anyway, the bunnies are fussing over the human like crazy, and telling her about how they would just love to live in the country. They've even offered to get boxes to start packing for the move. Sniff, sniff, sniff! I will be lucky if I don't wake up tomorrow to find that they've stuffed my bed into a box, with ME in it! What in the world am I going to do? The cottage isn't even 900 square feet! I have 710 siblings! That's almost a sibling for every square foot!

The Day of Decision

Sniff, Sniff, Sniff. Today is the day. Election day. I will learn first thing in the morning if I'm to become a country kitty or not. Sniff, sniff, sniff. What in the world am I going to do? The human is all upset, over this, and of course the bunnies are reassuring her that they will be more than willing to move, and help her move the rest of us as well. I know by the rest of us, they're referring to ME! This is so unfair, and of course since felines are not permitted to vote, I couldn't even raise a paw to save myself. The country. What in the world will I do if I have to move to the country? So many vegetables there, and a ton of happy bunny gardeners, I am sure! Not to mention WORK! Doomed, I am doomed if I have to go!

Week is Ruined

The week has barely begun, and I can already say it is going to be terrible. The human is going uptown tomorrow, to some place alarmingly close to those horrible genealogy archives. I know nothing good can result from her being in that area. I really have to get the woodpecker to go something soon, to prune some of the upper branches of that tree before it drops nuts and squishes us all. And, while the human is gone, the bunnies have plans for that photo. They're talking about surprising her with it when she comes home! Which means they will expect me to be up bright and early for posing purposes! What in the world will other cats think, if they find I was up at the crack of dawn, for something besides a food dish visit?

More on the Photo

I think the bunnies are serious about this photo and making a card of it. They got a coupon for card print-outs today, and just now they hopped around with a measuring stick, to size me up for photo placement purposes. They've currently got me placed between a bear, and Josie Bunny in the seating chart, but they say that might change if anyone's ears are particularly perky or something. This is going to be a nightmare! And how will I explain to other cats why I am in a rabbit and bear photo?

Christmas Card

The bunnies got a horrible idea today, for a family Christmas card. I'm not sure how the idea ended up in their fluffy little heads, but when I find out who is to blame, they will be prosecuted, you may be sure of that. Anyway, they came hopping in, to give me my seating assignment for this card, along with orders to show up with my fur nicely brushed, and dressed in my best collar, all ready to pose! They're expecting me to have my photo taken with all of them! I have 710 siblings! Do you know how long it will take to get all of them together, much less to get them posed and a decent photo taken? I will be stuck dealing with them all day!

Horrors at the Church

The human went to a church sale today, and came trotting home with fabric that made the polar bears squeal and start bouncing around, plotting quilts. And, in even worse news, this sale had a ton of bedding on offer. The bunnies might hop over to check that out tomorrow. Really, I don't know why these churches keep doing this to me, encouraging my siblings. And the secretary who works at my VET is responsible for this sale and the resulting sibling encouragement too! Oh, horrors! What did I do to her, to make her want to do something like this? And it will be just my luck too, that she will meet the bunnies and like them, if they hop to the sale tomorrow. That can only lead to trouble for me, the next time I have to visit the vet. What in the world will I do?

Brother's Post

Hello. It's Bebe Bunny here. We see out brother has posted, as much as admitting his guilt in the disappearance of our human's character cards. Really, he should be totally ashamed of himself, doing something like that. But it isn't going to stop the creation of the new rabbit story, we hope he knows. If the character cards aren't found in the morning, the human is going to start writing anyway, and will correct things later once they are found. Maybe we will even encourage her to go and lounge at the local bakery, and write. She always seems to get so much done there. This book will be finished yet, and our brother can't stop it!

Updating

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was trying to think of a way to prevent rabbit encouragement, and the time got away from me. It's awful, just awful, what the human is plotting. And she's already got the first section of the next bunny novel plotted, too, which can lead to nothing good, I am sure. I think I have came up with something, though, to prevent this writing. The human was all ready to start her writing, and then when she went to look for her little note cards with the info on the spellings of names and everything, to keep her established characters straight, she couldn't find them. Hehehehehehehe. No writing can take place until she has those cards. And she can't prove that I have a thing to do with their disappearance either! Happy day! No encouragement for the bunnies!

Wart Report

The human limped off to get the wart looked at this morning, in the company of two polar bears, and would you believe that it was still there when she returned? Really, I'm not sure how to feel about this. The removal would have been surgical, and would have resulted in weeks of recovery time, but the doctor warned of the possibility of something horrible sounding called tendonitis, that could also cripple the human and cut into my service the longer the thing stays. Right now they're looking at using some sort of patch things to try to remove it, although how that will turn out is anyone's guess. Either way, it looks like I'm doomed to a crippled human, and crippled humans bore easily. That doesn't bode well at all! When the human is bored, she tends to write, which can only lead to rabbit encouragement!

Doctor Visit Tomorrow

The human limps off to the doctor tomorrow, to get something done about that wart, something that I'm sure will cause no end of trouble for me. Really, what in the world was the human thinking? Tomorrow is one of the worst nights of the year! Betsy will be out in force, robbing those poor, innocent children of all of their treats, and I don't want to know what Nick the Cat and his rotten relations have planned. I spotted them earlier trotting up the street and chuckling. Nothing good can come of something that amuses those horrible felines. I would hide, and not come out until the start of November, but then November starts the month of novel horrors! Oh, woe is me!

Sale Report

The bears, bunnies and other members of my assorted group of siblings had a lovely time at the sales this morning. They ended up hitting two, instead of the one they had planned on, and came home with several outfits. And more siblings. It seems that a large batch of homeless animals were loitering at these sales, looking for a likely human to take them in, and of course they decided upon my human. Three bunnies, two pups, a bear, a koala and a unicorn were with her when she returned home. Eight total! I now have 710 siblings!

Shopping

The bears found a place having a sale on bear items tomorrow, I am very sorry to say. They've been scurrying about gathering money for a little shopping expedition ever since they got the news. I really ought to go and check my hiding places, to make sure that none of their gathered money is mine. I really don't think they're paying proper attention to where they're getting their funding. Really, what sort of place would offer bear merchandise for sale? It's bound to attract my siblings. The polar bears are even debating venturing out on the grounds that some sweaters might be available for purchase!

Today's Sibling Update

I now have 702 siblings. Once more the human dropped by the local mission, and was tackled by a homeless animal who begged to move in. My one comfort is that this latest animal is a monkey. At least monkeys are fruitaterians, unlike the vegetarian bunnies, so I am safe from attempts to convert me. True, the monkey does swing down and offer me a bite of his banana now and then, but at least he isn't pushy about his chosen foods, unlike the rabbits. I think I could start to tolerate monkeys as relations.

Garage

I could swear that I posted about this, but I did some looking and I guess not. Back during all of those storms that Nick the Cat and his relations amused themselves afflicting us with, those horrible cats managed to knock over our neighbor's garage with a tree. Now they entertain themselves from time to time, trotting up the street to the property to admire their handiwork and laugh themselves silly at the damage they have done. I suspect they have gotten their paws on catnip, too, catnip that I'm sure that they've snatched from my patch, because they sound suspiciously giddy to me. Really, knocking over garages and robbing their fellow felines. Why in the world hasn't the law done something, and drug all of those rotten cats off to jail?

Bus!

Oh, this is wonderful! The bus company is having a special on trips to Florida! TWO DOLLARS each way! Honestly, the mouse makes at least that from one run in his penny machines alone. He could easily afford tickets for his little cousins to come and visit him, and for me to ride along with them! Two dollars. I might even have that poked back somewhere! I can almost taste the cheese now!

Worse! Worse!

I just passed a bunny, looking over the book they're working with the bears to make into an ebook, and it's worse than I thought! The story is a Halloween one! That means that pumpkins are required! That means that they will expect me to help pull that awful wagon down to the store to collect the giant orange vegetables! Helping set up photos is bad enough, but being forced into packmule duty too, it is too much!

Ebooks

I knew that letting the human look at all of those little ebooks was a bad idea. First, it cuts into my computer time, to have her lurking on here and reading, and now the ebook notion has attracted the attention of my siblings. The bunnies reading is bad enough, since their book selections always seem to lead to some sort of trouble for me, but what they have come up with now is truly horrifying. They have taken a notion into their fluffy little heads to make a ebook out of one of the human's stories, and to start selling it right away. They've already issued my orders, to report bright and early in the morning to help them start sitting up photos for the book! They're going to force me to WORK! And what if they sell copies of this book? I'm sure no good will come out of any money they make from it!

Horror Season Approaching

Once more the horror season, when children trot around gathering candy, is fast approaching. Really, I don't know why in the world those children keep trying. With Betsy Bear on the loose, it isn't as if they will be able to enjoy their treats. This year, she's got a fishing pole, with a candy bar attached to the end, that she's plotting to use to lure in more children, and thus more candy. Those poor, poor children. I hope their guidance counselors are braced for the upswing in trauma due to that bear's actions.

Today's Country Visit

On the up side, the humans' visit to the country this morning didn't result in work for me. Since the human still isn't 100 percent, and since they had some worries about the fact that they need to mow the yard at the cottage before work could be done, something that the human was concerned could lead to a illness return, they didn't go up there at all this week. Unfortunately, that didn't prevent the human from visiting a different place in the country this morning, looking for information on that horrible tree of hers. And, of course she found it, and came trotting home pleased as anything, and planning another trip to look for more info soon. And, in other horrible news, she dropped by a homeless shelter as well, while she was waiting to see if a different, horrible tree encourager would return, and was tackled by a bear, with a tale of woe. I now have 701 siblings!

Voting

The humans went to do some sort of early voting thing today. I thought it was okay, but my suspicions were aroused when they returned with a vegetable odor around them. It turns out that this polling place is at the FARMERS' MARKET! Needless to say, I was very alarmed, and then the rabbits hopped in and made it all worse, with the happy news that of course they had known all about this, since all bunnies are registered voters! They even showed me their little cards, giving them permission to vote! Have you ever heard of something so foolish in your life? Really, they're bunnies, easily distractable creatures. If someone dangled a carrot in front of their noses, or a packet of seed, all rational thought would fly out of their heads. And they are being allowed to vote while felines are disenfranchised? Really, who thought this up? Cats would be sensible, responsible voters, unlike certain cotton-tailed troublemakers!

Rotten Weatherman

I ought to tell the polar bears that the weatherman has offered to host them at his house this year for the winter. I really ought to, after the trouble that horrible meteorologist has caused me. It's turned nippy here, which sent the polar bears panicking to check the weather forecast, and what did they see but something calling for SNOW! I tried to convince them that this snow is scheduled for elsewhere, or was possibly an hallucination on the part of the weatherman, but they didn't listen, and now I have a batch of bears running everywhere, demanding mittens, sweaters, hats and blankets be produced at once. Stampeding bears tend to not look where they're running either. My poor, poor tail is in dreadful danger from their big feet! I swear, the weatherman will pay for this! Perhaps I will find a way to divert Nick the Cat and his relations up to the weatherman's little weather station. It would serve him right to be tormented by those cats!

Rabbit Shopping

I couldn't believe what I found when I checked out the bag the bunnies lagged home. Five books and a magazine, all for the human, and once more, not a sign of my desired feline comic! They claimed that they looked everywhere, without finding it, and I ought to be glad that it seems to have sold well, and that my fellow feline is a success, but I know better. They probably got distracted my an issue of Gardening Monthly, and didn't look at all. So now what am I going to do? If I send them to check out the store at the mall, they'll probably end up hopping to a movie with their fellow rabbits, and will forget yet again!