Tuesday, January 31, 2012
One of the polar bears trotted out bright and early this morning. I allowed this after the bear swore that she was going to breakfast at the clown's restaurant down the street. It wasn't until after she had hopped in the human's bag and was almost out the door that she called out that she was riding uptown with the humans after eating, and then might swing by a few stores to help my human with urgent shopping. I was on pins and needles, literally with the needles, all day, sure that I would end up with more siblings until they returned. Really, I have got to figure a way to ban those bears from leaving the house!
Monday, January 30, 2012
I thought I was keeping a close eye on that bear, since she lagged in all of the new siblings a few days ago, but today the polar bear said she was going out again to the clown's restaurant. She even had a coupon in her paws for fillet o' fish so I thought it would be okay. WRONG! It turns out instead of going to the restaurant the clown runs barely four blocks from here, this bear ventured to the branch across the road from the homeless shelter! And of course, after eating she dropped in, and of course, there was a bear there, all eager to move in! I now have 719 siblings!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
I have yet another issue with that new polar bear, besides, of course, the fact that he is yet another in my horrifying number of siblings. It turns out this cub snores! A snoring bear, and of course he's a rather lazy thing, sleeping enough to almost be cat-like so there is a lot of snoring that I am exposed to. Does anyone have any suggestions for what to do about something like this? The polar bears are still insisting I share their den, so it's more than a bit annoying!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Just wonderful. Another one of the human's relations, the very one who caused me all of the trouble last year that nearly resulted in my becoming a vegetarian, has taken ill again. The human got the news this morning, and now there is a discussion on going up to look in on this relative going around that is more than a bit alarming. And what in the world am I going to do if the humans do go off to visit? I don't like how the bunnies keep looking at my dish, and then hopping over to check their salad ingredients, as if they are trying to see what sort of salad would fit in there! As soon as the humans depart, they'll be there, trying to force me to convert, I just know it!
Friday, January 27, 2012
One of the polar bears and a cub trotted out again today. I thought they were going to drop in on that clown's restaurant down the road to get a sack of fillet o' fish, so I wasn't too concerned. But then they were gone much longer than would be needed to make a food purchase from that clown, and you won't believe what they had with them when they came back! They had dropped in on the homeless shelter, and gathered more siblings! I am now up to 718 siblings. And worse, they invited another polar bear to move in! Another polar bear! And this one is a chatty thing too, and big even though they say he's still a cub. I hate to think of what size he will be when grown if this is his cub size. Really, I'm almost tempted to demand the weatherman send more snow. I think I would rather risk my tail instead of taking a chance on the polar bears going out again!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tracy and Danica got an email from their dragon cousins today, saying they would love to drop by to discuss plans for the Year of the Dragon. I tried to keep them from seeing it, but somehow those dragons had attached a little growl sound to the email, so the dinosaurs knew they had mail. The bunnies offered to supply the food for this gathering too. There is going to be trouble, I just know it. Those rabbits are already hard at work, getting recipes for grilled vegetables that they are sure the dragons will love together. VEGETABLES! If the dragons aren't already vegetarians, they will be by the time the bunnies are through! Another year focused on vegetables! What did I do so wrong to be punished like this? And even worse, what if a few dragons decide to move in with their cousins?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I can't believe this! At first I thought those bunnies were fibbing, saying the dinosaurs were cousins to the dragons, but then Tracy Triceratops and Danica Dinosaur rolled out their family tree this afternoon for me, and there the dragons were, perched on a limb, waving their claws! This is horrible! And my dinosaur sisters have already sent an invitation to their cousins, asking them over for a party to celebrate their shiny new year! Nothing good can come of this. I'm sure the bunnies will be attending this party as well, and will be full of suggestions for what they did for their year. And worse, Danica and Tracy are both devout vegetarians! What if their cousins the dragons are as well? The vegetarians do not need another year! Why, oh why, couldn't they give another year to something sensible, like the rodents? At least they are cheesateraian!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Not so fast, brother. It's Josie Rabbit here. We just checked, and did you know that the dinosaurs are cousins to the dragons? Naturally, Tracy Triceratops and Danica Dinosaur plan to help celebrate their cousins' good fortune in getting an entire year devoted to them, and we have a ton of suggestions, left over from our year. Oh, it's going to be a great year! And Tracy and Danica are both vegetarians, you know, so we're sure they'll love all of our suggestions!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Hallelujah! The Year of the Rabbit is finally over, and they are giving a year to something sensible, like the dragon! Really, I don't think I could imagine a worse thing than a year devoted for rabbits if I tried. I don't know how they bribed someone to give them one. I'm sure the year of the dragon will be much better, and thank goodness, no dragons live here to annoy me with celebrations over their year!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
I am more than a bit concerned. I caught one of the bunnies reading the print version of How to Wash a Cat and another rabbit reading the ebook version. And now I hear running water and a large bottle of feline shampoo is missing. How alarmed do you suppose I should be by this? And can the author of this book be held accountable in a court of law for writing an instructional manual on forcing a feline into water exposure?
Saturday, January 21, 2012
I can't believe this. Santa, I suppose in some sort of attempt to avoid Betsy Bear, or throw her off the trail, dropped by today with the human's gifts, almost a month late. And would you believe what he had for her? Three more bears! I am us to 715 siblings! And even worse, one of them is a polar bear! Five adult polar bears are here now, plus the three cubs. And I'm sure this one will expect me to share their den too. I can't believe this. Sleeping with so many bears. Why isn't there some sort of law? How could Santa do this?
Friday, January 20, 2012
The polar bears had more fish today, fish patties this time, one per bear and then a couple for the cubs to share. And would you believe that once again, I went fishless? The polar bears told me that I should stick to the food in my dish, since that was what the humans served, or if I insisted, I could share the rabbits' meal, a giant bowl of CARROTS! Really, why isn't such behavior illegal, denying such a nice feline as myself fish, and worse, trying to force me into eating a vegetable?
Thursday, January 19, 2012
I was strolling by the picture window this afternoon when I saw a truly alarming sight. A batch of squirrels were in the front yard, putting up a sign under the direction of the bunnies, declaring our yard is the future home of the world's largest corn maze and pumpkin patch! And then they presented the squirrels with a large sack of corn seed for planting purposes! With a sack of seed that size, this corn maze is going to happen sure! I don't want to live in a corn maze! And what in the world am I going to do if I need to go somewhere? How will I find my way out once the stalks go up?
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The polar bears saw a picture of some knitted or crocheted blankets, and now they are plotting to make similar items to snuggle under. I wouldn't mind this, since normally it would mean yarn entertainment, but the bears are horribly, unfairly protective of that yarn, and don't even like my looking at it. Really, what do they think I'm going to do to harm their precious yarn? And they're still demanding I share their den, too. Have you ever tried to sleep in a place packed with multiple large needles and hooks?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The humans found and finished off the pack of fish sticks the polar bears had hidden in the freezer to supply them with snacks in case of snow, so one of them had to venture out today to lay in supplies. Since fish was involved, I offered to handle this for the bears, but for some reason I don't think they trust me around such foods. Anyway, the bear trotted out, or more appropriately, rode out, in the human's book bag and returned smelling suspiciously of fillet o' fish, and with a sack from that clown's business with food for her fellow bears. And would you believe they wouldn't hand a single fillet over for me? All the offered was half a BUN!
Monday, January 16, 2012
You won't believe what our local zoo has decided to do. Honestly, they must have put loons in charge over there or something. They have decided to allow obviously insane humans to get married at the zoo now. That's probably what the construction they have going on is related to. They're probably installing a wedding pavilion or something! Really, what in the world are they thinking, allowing weddings over there? I know some zoos down in Florida do foolish things like that, but really, them doing it here is just a total sign of insanity. I'm sure all it will do is attract my siblings. The penguins are already preening and fluffing their feathers, trying to make sure they look their best for the weddings they're sure that they will be invited to, with their built in formal wear. And if some humans are nutty enough to want to marry at the zoo, it isn't such a stretch that they will want to invite the penguins to attend. This is going to be a disaster, I just know it. And if the penguins get themselves invited to weddings, I am sure the zebras will be next. Nothing good can come of this.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Being those polar bears' new roommate is never going to work, at least not in their current den. I don't know how in the world they fit in there, and certainly have no clue how they expect me to move in. Really, the thing is maybe a 2 foot by 2 foot square den, if it's even that big, and with the number of polar bear sisters I have, not to mention the cubs, I'm sure it violates some sort of rule about number of residents allowed. I was stepped on all last night. I've got to convince them to move into the cozy box I've made my bed in although how I'll do that, I'll never know. with their quilt obsession, and the fact that their den's quilted, needless to say, they don't want to move out, no matter how big I tell them my box is, and how much more paw space it offers. They just claim that the smaller space saves more warmth. Really, all the smaller space does is gets my tail stepped on, and I'm sure the bears are going to be along any minute, wanting to drag me to bed again!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
The polar bears' obsession with warmth continues to cause problems for me. They ought to be ashamed of their latest idea. I was snoozing innocently in my bed, when the lot of them came trotting in, and the next thing you know they were examining my fur. I'm sure they insulted it, calling it thin and not very plush, unlike their own thick fur, but they decided it would do none the less. Worst luck. Now they have ordered me to move out of my own cozy bed and into their den! They expect me to snooze with them, so they can get extra warmth from MY fur! The warmth from this fur should go to no one but me, I'll have those bears know, but I'm sure if I don't show up in their den they'll track me down and drag me in. Really, they ought to be ashamed, and how in the world will I ever explain, should other cats learn that I am sleeping with bears?
Friday, January 13, 2012
More snow is looming in the weather forecast. I swear the weatherman was almost chuckling when he gave that bit of news. Really, he ought to be ashamed of himself, gloating when my poor tail in endangered, due to his panicking of the polar bears. An entire weekend of snow. Perhaps I ought to invest in some sort of tail protector. With an entire weekend with snow due and time to panic, my tail is surely in the greatest of danger. The polar bears are all clustered in the human's room now, listening to the heater running, and debating if it is making funny noises, that might potential signal problems. And what in the world are we going to do if the heater fails? Going to stay with the dogs will be our only option. And, of course those dogs both have little, short tails, unlike my fine, long tail, so I won't be able to share the burden of being trampled by the bears.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
It's snowing, and rather hard too. Needless to say, the polar bears are pitching a fit over this weather and are demanding something be done right away to ensure their warmth. There is also a good bit of wind, and they're very worried that the power might go out. And what in the world am I going to do if the power goes out and the heat fails? I refuse to chop wood to build a fire for those bears! My paws are nice and soft, thank you very much, and being forced to cope with an axe would ruin them! I suppose if the power fails, I will have no choice but to go and stay with the dogs. They have to be better than panicked polar bears.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I have no idea why the polar bears did this. Honestly, it's summer in Australia right now. It isn't like this is going to be useful, but for some reason, the polar bears have found something offering quilt patterns based on the animals of Australia, including the koalas. Enough koalas live here already, I will have them know. They don't need to be trying to attract more. I suppose it's a good thing that it's summer down there while the polar bears are poking at this, though. It isn't like any of the Australian animals will need quilts, and thus will want to move in.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I'm afraid the squirrel enjoyed the book. Really, I just knew this was going to happen when the bunnies let him get his paws on that book. He trotted over here this morning, and has been on the porch with the rabbits ever since, discussing literature, and I'm sure making plans to convert other squirrels to readers too. Only disaster can come of of all of the local squirrel population taking to reading. And what if they decide to amuse themselves reading books on corn mazes? The bunnies are already wanting to convert the front yard if not the entire neighborhood, town and state into a corn maze, and have been working at recruiting the squirrels for planting the corn seed. If the squirrels are able to read books about the mazes the bunnies want, it will only make them enthusiastic, and what if they get ideas for how to make the corn maze even worse? I wonder of I have time to demand the library ban them?
Monday, January 9, 2012
Yes, I absolutely have to trade this month. Now I have a problem with the squirrel, that I'm sure won't end well. The bunnies happened upon a story by their beloved bunny author, starring a squirrel, and of course they just had to present a copy to their squirrel buddy, to encourage him to become literate. He's tucked into his tree right now, looking it over, and the bunnies are sure it will lead to a lifetime of reading for him. And what if it leads to the squirrel getting a library card? Goodness knows that library isn't selective about who they give those little things to. No good can come of that squirrel becoming a reader. Like my siblings, he will just get his paws on books about seed and the planting of seed. That can only lead to disaster! Really, how much longer is this month going to last, and how much worse will it get?
Sunday, January 8, 2012
I wonder what I would have to do to trade this month for something else? It surely is doing nothing but causing problems for me, and I will be ever so happy to have it gone. I can't believe what this month has done now. Really, why isn't stuff like this illegal, torrmenting a feline so? The human got the happy news today that someone is getting married at church, and now she has the idea of asking if this lady needs someone to make food, or possibly to assemble favors. No matter what task the human offers, all I can see is work for me! You know the rabbits won't let me take my favorite position of snoozing when any sort of work is going on. They'll craft me and force me into an assembly line, or into an apron for baking assistance. What in the world am I going to do?
Saturday, January 7, 2012
The human got the news today that a relative has taken ill and is in the hospital. I sense trouble looming for me. You might remember last year, that at about this time, a relative took ill, and the humans trotted off to visit, almost resulting in my conversion to vegetarianism when they stayed away too long and I ran out of food. What do I do if that happens this time? The rabbits are looking at me and chuckling suspiciously. I just know they're making plans to force me into a life of salads and other alarming vegetables. Really, why can't these humans behave and stop causing me such horrible trouble?
Friday, January 6, 2012
I think I ought to be very concerned about this. The human just sent in a request to the library for some books in ebook format that they don't have yet. Really, requesting ebooks. I sense much danger in this. What if the rabbits decide to request special ebooks next, books about gardening or work? Isn't it bad enough that the library allowed them all to have cards and hop in any time they like to check out frightening numbers of terrifying titles? What will I do if they start letting them special order ebooks too?
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Really, I don't know what the humans' problem is. They left the sack holding my food out today, and of course I decided to serve myself from it. But when the people found out, they got all upset, and now the sack is wrapped in three different bags until it can be added to my food bin. Why in the world did they get so upset over my serving myself? You would think they would appreciate the bother I was saving them, of having to struggle with the food bin lid!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The bunnies left the Kindle unguarded for a bit, and by slipping under the bed, and behind the desk, I was able to get my paws on it, to check out what they are reading. OH, you won't believe this! They have a book on starting SEED on there! SEED! And they just got a big, fat seed catalog in the mail! Oh, this doesn't bode well at all. I'm sure that book will encourage them terribly. Do you suppose I could risk erasing it from the Kindle before they could read too much?
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
There was snow on the ground this morning, and polar bears still in a panic. Really, why don't they go up the street and torment the weatherman for inflicting this weather on us instead of making me miserable? Oh, right. Going to torment him would require venturing outside, and heaven knows they have no intention of risking getting a paw in the snow. Until spring arrives, the only way those bears will leave the house will be in a human's arms, and wrapped in a ton of blankets. So the weatherman gets of totally free for doing this, unless.... Perhaps I might have just found a use for that squirrel after all. The weatherman's little station is only a short scamper away. I wonder how much the squirrel would charge to trot up there each morning and borrow his car keys?
Monday, January 2, 2012
The polar bears and grizzlies' plot to take over a few states and form a bear republic might have been moved up the time scale, and frankly, I blame the weatherman for it. Once more, that horrible person is calling for snow, sending my polar bear sisters into a panic. The fluffy white stuff has been floating down, and my poor tail has been nearly trampled by their big paws more times than I want to think of. And I just heard them talking about how nice a roaring fire would be to get all snuggly warm, and how all they needed for this item is human to chop the wood. I'm sure they're thinking of making wood chopping another task for the humans are living in what will soon be bear country, along with paying taxes in fish and wo
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Well, another New Year is here, and I can already tell that it is shaping up to be a disaster. The humans went out to eat, and would you believe that in the gift shop of the restaurant they visited, they were putting out Valentine's items, including Valentine's candy? Needless to say, Betsy Bear was very pleased to learn of this. Really, what was that place thinking? It is six weeks until Valentine's Day! Do they really want to have merchandise in their store that will attract Betsy Bear for six weeks? They will be wiped out! And this is the place that keeps selling the human highly caffeinated cake too. I f Betsy gets her paws on that, I don't think the state, or possibly the country will survive. The only way things are kept functioning now is due to the fact that the bear occasionally snoozes, and gives the normal people time to obtain food. Six weeks, and that bear possibly getting her paws on dangerous cake. We are all doomed!