Saturday, December 25, 2010

Betsy's Christmas Success

I'm very sorry to say that Christmas was a big success for Betsy. I do hope that no one asked Santa for any gifts that they urgently needed, because those wishes are doomed to go unfilled. All edible goodies have been munched down, and any valuables such as jewelry or electronics are going to the local pawn shop come Monday to raise more money for snacks. And if you requested a sweater, Betsy's likely already sold it to a sheep somewhere in anticipation of their upcoming wool loss due to the polar bears. The best thing that I can suggest for all of you, is to just try to forget this holiday ever happened. That's what I'm going to be doing, or at least I will if Betsy ever does something with the reindeer currently loitering in the backyard.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Facebook Crime Wave

Betsy finally did it. She joined one of the criminal games on Facebook under the human's account. She has been playing for under an hour now, and is already up to level five! I'm sure that's the worst possible sign. The humans are going out to eat in a bit, too, and the computer will be unguarded. That means Betsy can play without supervision, and get alarming amounts of criminal ideas, likely until Santa comes!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Santa's Doom Approaches

Poor Santa. In less than twenty-four hours, he is doomed. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what should be done with the reindeer, once Santa falls into Betsy's clutches? The prancing and pawing upon the roof will surely disturb my rest if they're allowed to stay unsupervised. Betsy has hung the chimney with traps, sure to snag Santa, so she can get her paws on his sack, and on all of the goodies therein. I do hope that no one spent too much time composing him a letter with wishes, for thanks to that bear, you will not be getting a thing. And for goodness sakes, don't leave any cookies unattended tomorrow night! It will attract her to your home for sure!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Sue the Bus Company! Sue the Newspapers!

I must get an attorney right away is all that I can say, for I am sure that I have an excellent case against the bus company and the newspaper for endangering us all. I'm sure you will be as horrified as I was to learn that a new bus route has opened, offering round trips to Washington for twenty dollars. As you might know from some of my posts this spring, Washington is the home of the National Archives, a place just packed with alarming amounts of genealogical materials. The human has been doing a money count, ever since she saw the article on this bus route, and she is sure that she has the twenty dollars to cover her fare to gather alarming amounts of research materials! And even worse, this bus offers internet access for the entire trip! She will be able to research the tree, and find even more things that she needs before she even gets there! We are all doomed! Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Relative Visit

One of the human's relations dropped in today, supposedly to collect Christmas presents. Unfortunately, the human in question happens to know a bit about the family tree, and my human started to question her. Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. And this human is supposed to return in a few days, too, which will only give my human more time to think up more genealogy questions. Does anyone know the best way to sabotage a doorbell?

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Animal Adoptions

I've noticed, when I've checked what the human's doing on Facebook, that a lot of different animals have ads popping up, requesting adoption for the holidays, including an entire herd of polar bears. How worried do you suppose I should be about the human constantly seeing such advertisements while tending her little farms and zoos? I don't want to imagine what could happen if another polar bear moved in here!

Friday, December 17, 2010

More Evil from the Weatherman

I think that I need to report the weatherman to someone, I really do. Once more, he is calling for snow, and naturally the polar bears are in an uproar. The World Wildlife Foundation is likely who this horrible polar bear cruelty should be reported too, right? Or would the local sheep association be better? Thanks to the horrible weatherman, record numbers of sheep are going to lose their wool soon. I can only hope that those poor sheep got their requests for sweaters in to Santa in time.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


It's just a few more days until Santa will be trotting around, although why he still tries making deliveries in this neighborhood with Betsy on the loose, I will never know. I can only hope that no one in the immediate area is hanging stockings with care, because they are sure to go unfilled. Betsy is currently checking out the chimney, and plotting to install some sort of trap.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Continuing Weatherman Issues

The weatherman continues to cause problems. Now he's calling for ice tomorrow evening, and I don't think he means the ice that goes in the human's soft drinks either. Honestly, ice is just snow that needs a bit of fluffing, so of course the polar bears are upset once more. I will probably be forced to go without sleep tonight due to the sound of them running about, gathering blankets and other things they have labeled necessary warmth supplies. I swear, if the weatherman keeps this up, I will tell the rabbits that he is donating the hill on which his little weather studio is located, for additional gardening space come summer. Being trapped by squash and watermelon for a few months will serve him right!

Monday, December 13, 2010


When I get my paws on the weatherman, he is going to be so sorry for all of the trouble he has caused. We now have several inches of snow on the ground, and needless to say, I have frantic polar bears, demanding blankets, quilts, heaters and mittens to insure their warmth. And the weatherman is lurking, up in his little studio a block away, watching all of this with great glee. I'm sure I saw flashes of light from his binoculars a bit ago. Really, wasn't it bad enough when he observed the rabbits this summer to forecast rain? He ought to be fired! Not to mention tarred, feathered, and ran out of town on a rail. If the polar bears see another flake of snow, I shudder to imagine what will happen. This is all the weatherman's fault!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Back and Polar Bear Troubles

I'm back. Sorry for the delay in posting, but I've been dealing with major polar bear issues here. We've had the dreaded s-word, snow, lately, and it's got them in a tizzy. They're holed up in the human's room, in their little den, and whenever someone dares to twitch the doorknob, they start shouting about not letting any heat out. And, unfortunately, the human's room is the current location of the computer. So annoying. It took until know for me to sneak in so I could post this. Unfortunately, more snow is in the forecast for tomorrow. Goodness knows what I will have on my paws should that horrible prediction come true!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Sheep and Nudity

Seeing as a bunch of sheep are due to become nudists soon, I suppose this is as good a time as any to bring up this topic. Has anyone ever taken a really close look at sheep without their wool? Really, that look worse naked than I ever imagined possible. And, as I understand it, the humans in charge of them, periodically collect this wool too, if they can get it before the polar bears do, to use for human purposes. I can only hope that they provide sweaters and coats for the sheep after this sheering, if for no other reason than to spare other creatures the horror that is the naked sheep!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Weatherman

Does anyone know how to arrange for an arrest warrant to be sworn out against our local weatherman? I want charges brought against him right away, and I want something done about that horrible fellow Jack Frost too. It snowed here today, and the polar bears have been running around, panicking and demanding emergency quilt construction take place immediately. I feel for any sheep who happen to live in this area. They are sure to be naked soon. My only suggestion to them is to get their letters in to Santa right away, and hope he will drop off sweaters early, for their wool is going to be gone soon.