This Christmas

This Christmas was a terrible success for Betsy, I am very sorry to say, which means that it was the stuff of nightmares for regular people. Really, I don't know why those poor people don't give up on celebrating the holiday, and I certainly don't understand why Santa keeps foolishly attempting to deliver gifts. If you lost food this holiday season, well, it's your own fault for not eating quickly enough before Betsy could get to your house, now isn't it? And if you lost socks that you had foolishly hung with care, the polar bears are using them for paw warmers. Good luck getting them away from those bears. As for anyone missing sweaters, I just hope you didn't need them, for Betsy has sold the entire lot to various flocks of sheep, who suffered a horrible wool loss after the polar bears got through with them. Really, I don't know why you people keep trying. All you're doing is feeding that bear, and possibly encouraging the polar bears.

Year of the Sheep Too

During my research on the horror that is the Year of the Rabbit, you won't believe what I found out. There is a year devoted to sheep, too. Those poor, poor sheep. Normally, you would think having a year devoted to you would be a great thing, but I know my polar bear sisters all too well, The second those poor sheep get together to try to celebrate their year, the polar bears will tackle them with scissors for sheering. They will spend the entire year as nudists! Poor sheep. Does anyone know the best way for them to let the Chinese know that they appreciate the thought, but they need to trade this year for something else, possibly sweaters, if the polar bears have their way?

More Evil from the Weatherman

I think that I need to report the weatherman to someone, I really do. Once more, he is calling for snow, and naturally the polar bears are in an uproar. The World Wildlife Foundation is likely who this horrible polar bear cruelty should be reported too, right? Or would the local sheep association be better? Thanks to the horrible weatherman, record numbers of sheep are going to lose their wool soon. I can only hope that those poor sheep got their requests for sweaters in to Santa in time.