Monday, October 31, 2011
The human limped off to get the wart looked at this morning, in the company of two polar bears, and would you believe that it was still there when she returned? Really, I'm not sure how to feel about this. The removal would have been surgical, and would have resulted in weeks of recovery time, but the doctor warned of the possibility of something horrible sounding called tendonitis, that could also cripple the human and cut into my service the longer the thing stays. Right now they're looking at using some sort of patch things to try to remove it, although how that will turn out is anyone's guess. Either way, it looks like I'm doomed to a crippled human, and crippled humans bore easily. That doesn't bode well at all! When the human is bored, she tends to write, which can only lead to rabbit encouragement!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
The human limps off to the doctor tomorrow, to get something done about that wart, something that I'm sure will cause no end of trouble for me. Really, what in the world was the human thinking? Tomorrow is one of the worst nights of the year! Betsy will be out in force, robbing those poor, innocent children of all of their treats, and I don't want to know what Nick the Cat and his rotten relations have planned. I spotted them earlier trotting up the street and chuckling. Nothing good can come of something that amuses those horrible felines. I would hide, and not come out until the start of November, but then November starts the month of novel horrors! Oh, woe is me!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
The bears, bunnies and other members of my assorted group of siblings had a lovely time at the sales this morning. They ended up hitting two, instead of the one they had planned on, and came home with several outfits. And more siblings. It seems that a large batch of homeless animals were loitering at these sales, looking for a likely human to take them in, and of course they decided upon my human. Three bunnies, two pups, a bear, a koala and a unicorn were with her when she returned home. Eight total! I now have 710 siblings!
Friday, October 28, 2011
The bears found a place having a sale on bear items tomorrow, I am very sorry to say. They've been scurrying about gathering money for a little shopping expedition ever since they got the news. I really ought to go and check my hiding places, to make sure that none of their gathered money is mine. I really don't think they're paying proper attention to where they're getting their funding. Really, what sort of place would offer bear merchandise for sale? It's bound to attract my siblings. The polar bears are even debating venturing out on the grounds that some sweaters might be available for purchase!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
I now have 702 siblings. Once more the human dropped by the local mission, and was tackled by a homeless animal who begged to move in. My one comfort is that this latest animal is a monkey. At least monkeys are fruitaterians, unlike the vegetarian bunnies, so I am safe from attempts to convert me. True, the monkey does swing down and offer me a bite of his banana now and then, but at least he isn't pushy about his chosen foods, unlike the rabbits. I think I could start to tolerate monkeys as relations.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I could swear that I posted about this, but I did some looking and I guess not. Back during all of those storms that Nick the Cat and his relations amused themselves afflicting us with, those horrible cats managed to knock over our neighbor's garage with a tree. Now they entertain themselves from time to time, trotting up the street to the property to admire their handiwork and laugh themselves silly at the damage they have done. I suspect they have gotten their paws on catnip, too, catnip that I'm sure that they've snatched from my patch, because they sound suspiciously giddy to me. Really, knocking over garages and robbing their fellow felines. Why in the world hasn't the law done something, and drug all of those rotten cats off to jail?
Monday, October 24, 2011
Oh, this is wonderful! The bus company is having a special on trips to Florida! TWO DOLLARS each way! Honestly, the mouse makes at least that from one run in his penny machines alone. He could easily afford tickets for his little cousins to come and visit him, and for me to ride along with them! Two dollars. I might even have that poked back somewhere! I can almost taste the cheese now!
I just passed a bunny, looking over the book they're working with the bears to make into an ebook, and it's worse than I thought! The story is a Halloween one! That means that pumpkins are required! That means that they will expect me to help pull that awful wagon down to the store to collect the giant orange vegetables! Helping set up photos is bad enough, but being forced into packmule duty too, it is too much!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
I knew that letting the human look at all of those little ebooks was a bad idea. First, it cuts into my computer time, to have her lurking on here and reading, and now the ebook notion has attracted the attention of my siblings. The bunnies reading is bad enough, since their book selections always seem to lead to some sort of trouble for me, but what they have come up with now is truly horrifying. They have taken a notion into their fluffy little heads to make a ebook out of one of the human's stories, and to start selling it right away. They've already issued my orders, to report bright and early in the morning to help them start sitting up photos for the book! They're going to force me to WORK! And what if they sell copies of this book? I'm sure no good will come out of any money they make from it!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Once more the horror season, when children trot around gathering candy, is fast approaching. Really, I don't know why in the world those children keep trying. With Betsy Bear on the loose, it isn't as if they will be able to enjoy their treats. This year, she's got a fishing pole, with a candy bar attached to the end, that she's plotting to use to lure in more children, and thus more candy. Those poor, poor children. I hope their guidance counselors are braced for the upswing in trauma due to that bear's actions.
Friday, October 21, 2011
On the up side, the humans' visit to the country this morning didn't result in work for me. Since the human still isn't 100 percent, and since they had some worries about the fact that they need to mow the yard at the cottage before work could be done, something that the human was concerned could lead to a illness return, they didn't go up there at all this week. Unfortunately, that didn't prevent the human from visiting a different place in the country this morning, looking for information on that horrible tree of hers. And, of course she found it, and came trotting home pleased as anything, and planning another trip to look for more info soon. And, in other horrible news, she dropped by a homeless shelter as well, while she was waiting to see if a different, horrible tree encourager would return, and was tackled by a bear, with a tale of woe. I now have 701 siblings!
The humans went to do some sort of early voting thing today. I thought it was okay, but my suspicions were aroused when they returned with a vegetable odor around them. It turns out that this polling place is at the FARMERS' MARKET! Needless to say, I was very alarmed, and then the rabbits hopped in and made it all worse, with the happy news that of course they had known all about this, since all bunnies are registered voters! They even showed me their little cards, giving them permission to vote! Have you ever heard of something so foolish in your life? Really, they're bunnies, easily distractable creatures. If someone dangled a carrot in front of their noses, or a packet of seed, all rational thought would fly out of their heads. And they are being allowed to vote while felines are disenfranchised? Really, who thought this up? Cats would be sensible, responsible voters, unlike certain cotton-tailed troublemakers!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
I ought to tell the polar bears that the weatherman has offered to host them at his house this year for the winter. I really ought to, after the trouble that horrible meteorologist has caused me. It's turned nippy here, which sent the polar bears panicking to check the weather forecast, and what did they see but something calling for SNOW! I tried to convince them that this snow is scheduled for elsewhere, or was possibly an hallucination on the part of the weatherman, but they didn't listen, and now I have a batch of bears running everywhere, demanding mittens, sweaters, hats and blankets be produced at once. Stampeding bears tend to not look where they're running either. My poor, poor tail is in dreadful danger from their big feet! I swear, the weatherman will pay for this! Perhaps I will find a way to divert Nick the Cat and his relations up to the weatherman's little weather station. It would serve him right to be tormented by those cats!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
I couldn't believe what I found when I checked out the bag the bunnies lagged home. Five books and a magazine, all for the human, and once more, not a sign of my desired feline comic! They claimed that they looked everywhere, without finding it, and I ought to be glad that it seems to have sold well, and that my fellow feline is a success, but I know better. They probably got distracted my an issue of Gardening Monthly, and didn't look at all. So now what am I going to do? If I send them to check out the store at the mall, they'll probably end up hopping to a movie with their fellow rabbits, and will forget yet again!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Despite their total failure to obtain the correct comic, I am giving those bunnies a second chance. The human has to visit the doctor tomorrow, and will be passing by another place that carries my desired book. I have already given the bunnies their orders, to return to with the red comic starring my fellow kitty. I'm not so sure I should trust them, though. They're easily distractable, and there are at least two more of those horrible green comics out there. I wonder if I ought to print out a picture of my desired comic, so they can't claim they weren't sure which book I wanted? Really, though, it's red and a cat is on the cover. I don't see how they could make a mistake.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Really, why can't my days ever go right? The humans went out today, and the bunnies hopped along with them, of course. While the house was rabbit free, who came strolling along but Nick's cousin, who proceeded to camp out on our steps between doing unspeakable things to the shrubs, and trying to stake a claim to our property! Despite my yelling and threats to call the law on that awful cat for trespassing, he refused to depart until the humans finally returned, when he strolled to our poor, unfortunate neighbors' dwelling. I do hope they have major insurance for I'm sure he amused himself crossing their path when he spotted them enjoying their porch. I thought my luck might be changing with the humans repelling the bad luck cat, but then the rabbits hopped in with a purchase. I have been telling them for weeks that I need a copy of the comic starring that feline, so today they finally dropped in on a store that carries such items. Do you know what they got, though? They got a GREEN comic, one that is the color of vegetables, not the RED book I wanted!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
I'm afraid work is looming hard on the horizon. My poor paws. I've taken such care with them, keeping them nice and soft, and now they're to be ruined by forced labor! The bunnies hopped around a bit ago, to measure my tail for a brush, and to order me to report in the morning to be sized for a hammer! They're serious about making me work! They've even been talking about how nice it would be to spend Christmas at the country cottage, so you know they'll push these repairs like crazy. I'm doomed! Doomed to work! The only thing that might save me now is if the human feels bad enough not to make the trip.
Friday, October 14, 2011
I'm doomed! Doomed, Doomed, Doomed! The humans are talking about visiting the country next week for work purposes, despite the fact that our human is still under the weather. And, since she's under the weather, of course the bunnies are falling all over themselves to offer to help, and to fill in at any work she doesn't feel up to doing. They're even telling her that she can lounge on those sheets that match her jammies if she wants, while they do everything. And, of course, they don't expect to do everything alone! They have already hopped by to give me my assignment, checking the roof for loose shingles, prying damaged flooring, and painting, possibly with a brush tied to me tail! I'm going to be forced to work!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
I just spotted what the human was wearing a bit ago and needless to say, I am horrified. She has on a pair of pajamas that match those sheets the presbunterian church supplied my delinquent bunny siblings a few weeks ago. Horrors, horrors, horrors! I knew about the jammies, of course, but I didn't know how good the match was until the bunnies held the sheets up to the pajamas and started making a fuss about how they matched, and how the human will look so nice sitting on them! And the human was impressed too, patting the cotton-tailed troublemakers on their ears and saying what good bunnies they are. That means she's definitely going to want to use those sheets, which means a visit to the country is definitely in my future! Horrors!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Now for a break from the vampire, and an update on the new feline comic. I so wish I knew how to contact that kitty. I'll bet he would know how to repel a vampire bunny. Anyway, he didn't pop into the latest issue, which was kind of annoying, but the alien currently in charge of the team was debating a second in command at the end of the issue. I think we all know who the only logical choice for that position is. THE CAT!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Does anyone have any ideas for a repellant to keep the bunnies' new vampire friend from deciding that I would make a lovely snack? At first, I was optimistic about using garlic against this rabbit, but then I recalled that garlic is a plant, and as the vampire is a rabbit, the smell of plants might attract him. So now, the only thing I can think of is to stop grooming completely, and hope that it changes my taste enough to discourage the bunny. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I hate to spend forever with a shabby coat, but I don't want to become supper for a vampire bunny either! What in the world were the rabbits thinking, asking him to supper?
Monday, October 10, 2011
The bunnies sent off an email today to their new, hopeful vampire bunny friend, inviting him to hop or fly, whatever vampire rabbits do, over one day for supper. Isn't there some rule against that, inviting a vampire to stroll into your house? And they mentioned ME in the email too, letting the fanged rabbit know that a cat lived here, but they're sure I'm not a rabbit-eater like some felines. So now the vampire knows about me. And, since he's a bunny, I'm sure he won't be interested in snacking on his fellow rabbits, so you know who that leaves!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
I just learned today about a horrible threat, lurking out there, and of course I realized that I needed to warn my readers right away. There is a VAMPIRE on the loose! And worse, this vampire is a BUNNY! My rabbit siblings were poking around online today, and found out about this fanged floppy eared troublemaker. A vampire bunny. It probably turns you into a vegetarian if he bites you! Anyway, my siblings were naturally thrilled to learn about this new bunny, and now they are trying to insist I get off the computer right away, so they can search for his email address, to drop him a letter and ask him to visit! They're wanting to have a vampire over! They say that they will serve him a lovely dinner! He's a VAMPIRE! What in the world are those rabbits thinking! Bunny or not, I know what vampires eat, and it's not good!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
The human is feeling slightly better, but still, she went to the doctor again today for some strange reason. Not that that was necessarily a problem. My only objection to her last doctor's visit was that it resulted in the rabbits offering to fill in for her with that horrible church sale. This visit didn't turn out nearly as well, though. The human is on the mend, true, but the problem was that she felt the need to stop by the local Walmart to restock some of her medicine afterwards. And do you know what she found there? They had a batch of that horrible plant food she us using to soak her injured foot on SALE! What in the world was Walmart thinking, putting items like that on sale, especially with bunnies hopping about? The human came home with four boxes of the stuff! FOUR BOXES! When the rabbits get their paws on that, we are all doomed!
Friday, October 7, 2011
Well, besides being forced to work by the rabbits, they have decided to try to take over feeding me again. Really, isn't that illegal, allowing a batch of devoted vegetarians to feed and try to convert an innocent kitty? There was a bean on my plate today. Really, a BEAN! At least it was short, but it was green and sort of slimy looking. And, of course, the bunnies were all clustered around, expecting me to eat the horrible thing. If such activities aren't illegal, then they should be!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I awoke this morning just as the rabbits pounced, I am very sorry to report. They snapped my leash onto my collar before I could jump out of bed and flee. Then, once they were sure that they had me, they gave me the happy news that I had been assigned to be a puller, along with our reindeer siblings, and one of our horse siblings too, dragging the wagon they rounded up around, to various places so that they could hang up fliers! They made me be their packmule all day! My poor, poor paws. I can barely type. And I know they have plans to make me do the same thing tomorrow, when they want to hop to visit the church sales in search of goodies!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The human is still sick, I am afraid, and the bunnies are hopping everywhere, offering to bring tissues, drinks and who knows what else, and reassuring the human that they will handle everything else for the church sale. I don't like the way they keep looking in my direction as they say that either, or how they are scribbling on pieces of paper. They have probably got me down somewhere as a tacker, or possibly a taper! And, to make matters worse, they have the closet staked out, so I can't escape into its heights!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The human has taken ill, due to smoke exposure while scanning a bunch of photos for that horrible tree. She thought she could avoid problems by going to a public scanner, but it obviously didn't work, and the illness caught up to her this morning. So now she's sniffling, sneezing, achy and miserable! And now the rabbits are unsupervised, and making offers to take over for her with the church sale stuff! You might remember what happened the last time she took ill and the rabbits offered to fill in for her, baking goodies for a baby shower. I must hide while there's still time!
Monday, October 3, 2011
The human went to hang up signs advertising that sale today, and the rabbits offered to accompany her, and assist. I'm not sure how they planned to help with the hanging of signs, since as bunnies they're very short, but that wasn't what was so alarming. The alarming part is the number of libraries the human was hanging these signs in. Libraries filled with books on WORK! And you know what those bunnies came hopping home with. Really, I think I am going to spend the week in hiding. If I could roll the container with my food into the closet, I'm sure I could hide undetected on the top shelf until the safety of Monday morning.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
If anyone asks this week, I am not here. You don't know where I am, but I am definitely not here, and thus can't be blamed for the upcoming disasters. Oh, I can't believe all of this. Nick the Cat must have put in some overtime hours, to produce this much bad luck! First, the presbunterian church down the street is having a sale this weekend. The bunnies are all excited, and are looking for a wagon that they can drag behind them, if they have to hop to that one without the humans. Rabbits hopping to a sale unsupervised. I don't want to think what might happen there. They cause enough problems with the minimal supervision the humans offer. Then the human's church is having a sale at the same time. My computer time has already been cut into, as the human works on advertising it, and you know she's going to insist on attending too, and you know the bunnies will insist on accompanying her! Then, to make the entire matter worse, the human has a visiting, genealogist relative in town that she has plans to get together with. The tree will hit heights I can't imagine by week's end, I just know it! So, if anyone asks, I am not here, and can't be held accountable!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
I always thought this particular denomination was spelled Presbyterian, but now I believe it is in fact presbunterian. Bun as in BUNNY! I have never met a more rabbit friendly religion in my life. I suppose I should have suspected something when the church of that denomination sold the rabbits all of that bedding a bit ago, but now a Presbunterian church up in the country amused themselves selling the rabbits several sacks full of bedding, and pillows to rest their big ears on too! They came hopping home with the sheets, and forced me to sit on them, to see how they went with my fur, before popping them in the washer. I don't know what they were going to do if there was a color clash, although I have a feeling they would be plotting to change my color instead of the sheets! Really, that church should be ashamed of itself! And, as if the bedding wasn't enough, they amused themselves selling a sack of raspberry bushes to the bunnies too! A sack! Do you know how many bushes make up a sack? What in the world were they thinking?