Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Remember Our Neighbors

Remember our neighbors, for those poor people are doomed. I wonder if I ought to call, and let them know now, so they can flee while there is still time? The bunnies have been hopping about with their little packs of seed, and while they still don't have their beds dug as much as they want, they do have a space cleared that they think will work well for starting plants, then by the time they're big enough, they are sure they will have the rest dug up so they can move things. They poked out eighteen different things today. They planted cantaloupe, honeydew melon, frighteningly large numbers of watermelon seed, eggplant, egg gourd, yellow squash, hubbard squash, gray zucchini, California pepper, jalapeno pepper, sweet banana pepper, grand bell pepper, rutgers tomato, homestead tomato, super marmande tomato, cherry tomato, beefsteak tomato and red pear tomato. I do hope the neighbors' insurance covers them for acts of gardening.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Rabbit Report

The bunnies' rain dance worked, I'm very sorry to report. The rabbits have high hope that the rain they danced up will cool things off a bit, so they can hop out in the morning and do some digging. They have a literal ton of tomatoes to plant, so they're very eager to dig. Do you think I need to issue some sort of alert when they hop out, to give the neighbors warning so they can flee for their lives?

More Seeds to Report

I was too horrified to do this last night, but I thought I would let you know today of the continuing seed horrors. The bunnies hopped out yesterday, when it cooled off a bit, and planted two packs of cucumber, a pack of zucchini, a pack of butternut squash and a pack of watermelon. They wanted to plant more, but the ground isn't broken up as much as they like in most places. They're looking into renting a plow now, and I don't like how they keep looking at me when they are discussing who will pull it. Why don't they make the pelicans pull it, when they arrive?

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Prayer Needed

Please join me in offering up prayers, for the poor neighbors, who are soon to be homeless. Really, they weren't bad neighbors. They just forgot to check for pairs of long, floppy ears before moving in, is all. I am very sorry to say that they are all doomed. The rabbits put on hats today, and hopped out to do some planting. Of course, they put out the most dangerous plants first. They have planted luffa gourd, birdhouse gourd, dipper gourd, penguin gourd, kettle gourd, gooseberry gourd, white bush squash, pumpkins from some evil uncle named Herman, mandarin cucumber and some sort of Ukraine cucumber. As soon as it cools down a bit, they plan to hop out and plant more!

Friday, June 25, 2010

News Article

There was an article in the paper today on that poor bear who was killed up in the mountains a month or so ago. The human isn't as upset now, at least, but I'm afraid that this article has given Betsy a horrible idea. She's now got it in her fluffy head that she should file suit against the park, in the name of the bear's survivors. And, as their legal representative, she figures she will get a hefty sum for assisting them with this. Our poor court system. It will never survive a visit from Betsy Bear. I do hope that no one in this state was hoping for any form of legal redress in the immediate future, because that sure isn't going to happen.

Pelican Update

The bunnies just got a response from their first pelican, accepting their kind offer of room and board in exchange for garden help. I just know that's bad sign. This pelican has signed up for a single bird nest, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't show up with a batch of eggs in that big mouth too. And if it's happy here, then more pelicans will surely follow, each needing a bath, a bath that I will be expected to assist in!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Feather Cleaning

This pelican issue keeps getting worse. Not only have the bunnies invited more pelicans than I want to think about up to live in exchange for garden help, but now the rabbits are looking up the best way to clean feathers. I don't like the way that they're looking over at me while reading up on this feather cleaning either. I'm sure those rabbits are plotting to draft me into helping get those birds cleaned up. What in the world am I supposed to do if they try? My paws will be ruined from scrubbing birds!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


The area around the swimming pool looks like a Easter Basket exploded, with all of the nests the penguins have set out for the birds they expect soon, in response to the bunnies' fliers offering room, board and a feather cleaning in exchange for light gardening duties. Light. Ha! I've seen the size of the veggies they grow, and the gardening duties couldn't be considered light by any means. I don't know what I'm going to do if the pelicans take the bunnies up on their offer. Do you know, they eat fish? My rabbit siblings are going through the cupboards right now in search of fish to offer the birds, and some of that fish happens to belong to me! Am I required to offer it to guests, if I didn't invite them to drop by?

Monday, June 21, 2010

Reunion Update

In my horror over the bunnies plotting to invite all of those pelicans up to assist them in gardening, I forgot to update you on the reunion, or maybe I was just trying to convince myself it was all a nightmare. A relative has offered to assist the human financially with getting her genealogy stuff published. Of course, that could indicate professional publication, which would save my paws from having to work the copier, but still the thought of all of that horror being unleashed on an unsuspecting public is almost too much to take!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Latest Rabbit Issues

I need some sort of control for the television. The bunnies got their paws on the remote, and were poking around, looking for a gardening special, when they came upon a program on all of those big mouthed birds who have managed to get their feathers oily. The bunnies were very impressed with the size of the mouths on those things, and the next thing I knew, they were speculating about how much produce the pelicans could carry, and about how they would surely be cheaper that purchasing baskets and bags to haul their veggies. The bunnies are hard at work now on fliers to be distributed to those birds, offering them accommodations here, and a free oil removal in exchange for assistance with gardening duties. The penguins are in the back by the pool, putting up nests for them, too! Have you ever heard of such? And what if all of those pesky pelicans come up? Can you imagine how much produce they could carry for the rabbits?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

The Mailman has No One to Blame

The mailman has no one to blame for his upcoming doom than himself. I want this known right now. When he ends up scratched into a million pieces, he has only himself to blame for his fate. This morning he foolishly delivered a package containing blackberry, raspberry and blueberry seeds to the bunnies. Needless to say, they're very happy, and are plotting the best place to plant their bramble patch right now. Really, what was the mailman thinking? He delivered eight packs of seed, each with at least twenty-five seed inside. that is two hundred seed. What will become of him if all of those sprout? Like I said, he will end up scratched to pieces, and when he does, he should know it is all his own fault.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Five Inches

I have just seen the most alarming five inches in history. The human has a notebook, five inches thick at least, packed full of obituaries for that horrible gathering of relatives. Have you ever heard of such? I don't want to think of how many relatives are in there, and she claims she doesn't have even half of them yet, and is just getting started.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

More Genealogy

The human returned a bit ago with three more coil bound books of genealogy. And even worse, she came back with eight packs of page protectors, enough to hold four hundred sheets of info. I don't even want to think of what might happen if she uses all of those. She already has five notebooks stuffed full of stuff, and now six coil bound books. Really, This genealogy is too alarming, and even worse, she's planning to mass produce some of it for selling purposes! I know she's going to try putting me on copier duty or something when she goes into production mode.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Found the Cables

The human found the cables, worst luck. I knew I should have hid those things better. I did manage to sabotage her ink, though, which delayed her printing a bit. She didn't let it stop her, though, and went trotting off to the office supply store to get her printing done there. She has three books full of genealogy material awaiting binding now, and I just know that she's going to amuse herself putting together more. She's even thinking of making multiple copies of one of the books for selling purposes. We are all doomed. The tree is going to grow out of control for sure. I woulld suggest running for your lives now.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

No Idea

If the human comes around asking, my loyal readers should let her know I have no clue where the cables for her printer might be, and she certainly shouldn't search my bed for them. She is working hard, trying to put together all of her other genealogy stuff so she can show it off at the reunion, but in order to do so, she needs to print. And the cables are mysteriously missing. She's looking all over for them, and muttering about how if they don't turn up, she won't be able to do her planned genealogy. Now, wouldn't that be such a shame?

Monday, June 14, 2010

Evil Growing

Will evil never cease? The human mentioned the bound genealogy information to a cousin, and now the cousin wants a copy. I'm very much afraid she's going to make a copy up for her, and then that can only lead to other cousins wanting copies as well. Who knows how far the evil might spread soon. I wonder if I ought to find a way to sabotage this little enterprise of hers?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

She Did It!

The human has been threatening to put all of her genealogy materials together for awhle now, for publication purposes, but today she actually did it. Office Depot should be ashamed, encouraging the human like this. She came trotting home tonight with three coil bound books, that don't even have half of the genealogy that she has amused herself gathering. And I am trying not to think of the two notebooks the horrible office store helped her fill either. I urge a boycott of this business right away.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

More Tree Issues

The human is hard at work, organizing that tree, and needless to say, she is grumpy, because the relatives are refusing to co-operate. I'm afraid she's finally done, though, at least for the evening. and she seemed happy with the final results, which doesn't seem like it will bode well for me. Does anyone have any ideas of how to best tame such a horrible piece of horiculture? I'm sure it's going to drop nuts on someone, and I hate to think of how many bears Betsy will be able to trap in the upper limbs.

Friday, June 11, 2010

More Proof of Insantity

I have more proof that escapees from the local mental institution are in charge of the fair this year. They are actually having a bear beauty contest at this thing, and to make it even crazier, they are having this at the same time that they are having a honey and bee competition. Betsy's making plans to enter herself in this bear event now, to help in her plans to raid the honey event. I can just imagine what will happen now. There will not be a single drop of honey left, and all of the bees will be captured and carted off to serve Betsy. And goodness knows what will happen to the poor bears who might be Betsy's competition in the bear beauty contest. I ought to call the funny farm right now, and demand that they round up their escapees now, before it is too late!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Fair

Disaster struck today. The catalogue, advertising what events they are going to have at the fair for produce arrived today. Needless to say, my rabbit siblings have been pouring over it, and planning out what they want to enter. I just know they're going to try to go for the giant vegetable event this year, and I don't want to imagine what they will try to do, to encourage plant growth that will allow them a victory. I don't even want to think about the bunny beauty contest this fair has planned, as well. Obviously they let the mental patients out to run this event. Why didn't they just call it a bunny encouragement event? Isn't there some law about truth in advertising?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Reunion Punishment

Those humans will soon regret planning a family reunion, at least the cousin who intends to get married at the upcoming gathering. I've spotted Betsy Bear getting her extra large snitching sack out, and polishing up her cake spoon in anticipation of this event. A wedding is an indication that cake might be in the offing, and of course, Betsy plans to get her paws on this dessert right away. I do hope that the bride and groom didn't pick a nice cake, because goodness knows, there won't be a crumb left when Betsy gets through with it. I wonder if wedding insurance covers acts of bears?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Betsy has Done it Now

Betsy has really done it this time. As if all of that missing honey wasn't bad enough, someone just posted on Facebook, reporting that a large quantity of marbles has gone missing. And, of course, I've been having to deal with the click-clicking of that bear, playing with a big batch of marbles for the last few hours. Does anyone know the penalty for marble theft? I have half a mind to turn her in, if for no other reason than so I won't have to hear those marbles anymore.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Human on Ice

The human's leg is flaring, and she is now sitting on ice, which is a bad sign to say the least. When she's sitting on ice, she isn't supervising that horrible Betsy Bear, who is plotting how to trap innocent bears in the upper branches of the family tree, and even worse, sitting on ice, and needing to freeze that leg gives the human time to work on her computer, poking away at the tree, and adding more limbs! I don't want to think of how many might end up added tonight.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

More Obituaries

I would like to make it known now how much I hate cousin Wendell and his brother Glenn. I'm not to fond of Cousin Mary Evelyn either, and don't get me started on Cousin Cherry who managed to get not one but three obituaries in different newspapers. What does he need with three obituaries? And you don't want to know how pleased the human was when she saw all three of them. Does anyone know who at the police department I should complain to about these terrible relatives? And the human is still poking, trying to find more obituaries, too!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Upcoming Reunion Season

Well, horror season has started. The human has family reunions scheduled for the next two weekends. Really, why hasn't someone made those horrible events illegal yet? It only serves to encourage her genealogy research and the growth of that dangerous tree of hers. I ought to call the law, I really should. Does anyone have suggestions for where I can hide until these horrible events are over? And to make matters worse, a cousin is due to get married during one reunion. Another limb will be stuck on that tree right there.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Speed Dial

I am putting the fire department on speed dial right away. I hope no one in town plans to have any fires in the immediate future, because the fire department will surely be to busy, rescuing bears from the human's monster tree to put them out. Betsy has arranged for fliers to be distributed, wherever she suspects the poor, undomesticated bears live, advertising the tree as perfect for climbing, and a must see for any bear. Then, when they get here, and get stuck in the upper limbs, somewhere around Cousin Roy, she can go and rob their dens at her leasure.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Betsy Getting into the Act

Now Betsy is getting into the act of encouraging that horrible tree of the human's. She's heard that those poor, undomesticated bears that she loves robbing are very fond of climbing trees, so she thinks if she can offer them a particularly nice, large tree, then she can lure them in for the purpose of robbery. Those poor bears. We will probably have to put the fire department on speed dial to rescue them from the human's monster tree.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Bringing Suit

I must contact a lawyer tomorrow to see how to file a suit right away against all of these relatives, who couldn't bother to hide their obituaries. The human has found any number of them, and in worse news, one of them, the one for Cousin Quinn, identified the family business he worked at. The human plans to try to see if it's online tomorrow, because she's sure it will lead her to other relatives. Cousin Quinn should be ashamed, and I intend to hold his estate accountable for endangering us all by encouraging the growth of that family tree!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Tree

The human found a free trial for that obituary site, and is now happily hunting down relatives. Does anyone know how I can file suit against this horrible place? It's surely giving her nightmarish ideas, and that tree is going to end up growing to new heights. She's already found more dead relatives than I want to think of, and with the married names it is producing, it will surely lead to who knows how many more relations!