Monday, January 31, 2011
The loons are out in full force at the library, is all that I can say, and I do hope my poor, loyal readers have hiding places prepared, for you will surely want to head for them once you hear the latest news. The human trotted by the local university library today, and she was amazed at the wealth of genealogy materials the place offered. She came home with her arms full, and I'm very afraid she is plotting a return trip as soon as possible. And, to make matters worse, because the grandhuman has connections to the school, the human is permitted to check out books for a year at a time! A year! Do they know the damage that could result from the human having such materials in her possession for a year?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I thought I would make this a separate entry, to spare you from seeing too much horror at once. The bunny who hopped out to that plant sale, well, after she went there, she decided to pay a visit to another sale, one that has been doing a ton to supply the human with stuff for the reunion and the planned goodie bags and baskets. The bunny came home lagging 18 more bags to be used to assemble goodie baskets! 18 goodie basket bags! Have you ever heard something so alarming in your life, and I just know those rabbits are planning to draft me into helping with the assembling too! I will be forced to work forever, if those bunnies have their way, and I don't want to think of the growth of that horrible tree that these goodie things might lead to.
The bunnies got their year off to a rather nice start according to them, when one of them hopped out this afternoon, and came back lagging a large sack full of plant bulbs. Apparently some church was having a sale, and this foolish religious institution allowed a rabbit to stroll away with the makings for over fifty plants. Have you ever heard of something so frightening? The rabbits are trying to claim that these are just flowers, and are harmless, but they can't fool me. One of the packs clearly says grape hyacinth. Do they really think I don't know what grapes are? That church ought to be ashamed, contributing to the bunnies' delinquency like they did, and at such a reasonable price too!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
I would suggest that all of my readers make plans to lock yourselves safely in your houses now, until this year is over, or else you are sure to meet a horrible fate. I spotted another of my bunny siblings' lists of things they need at the food co-op, and they have down a pound of mung beans, adzuki beans and pinto beans as part of their planned Year of the Rabbit celebrations! Do you know how many beans make up a pound, and pinto beans have a strong history of being vicious and expansionistic. Not only is the neighborhood doomed if this purchase happens, but I suspect this part of the state is as well!
Friday, January 28, 2011
What did I ever do to offend the Chinese? Is this because I don't eat their food? Did that offend them, or something? It isn't my fault, I will have them know. I would happily munch down rice, if the rabbits weren't always spoiling it with various vegetables, and I won't get into what they like to do to noodles. Really, they shouldn't hold that against me at all, but apparently they are, for they have arranged something so horrifying that I almost fear to write it. They have declared this year the Year of the RABBIT! And it was starting out to be such a nice year too, and then they did this. Needless to say, my siblings were thrilled with this happy news, and they're hopping around, making lists now of how they want to celebrate their year, little lists that I'm sure will make my year a disaster, and that will render our neighbors homeless. How many noodles do you think the Chinese would insist I eat in order to get this year canceled, or changed to something else? What about giving the mouse another year? He just opened a hotel for my kind, so I'm sure he deserves a year much more that my delinquent bunny siblings!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
I got my paws on that list the bunnies have for their baskets, and just as I feared, and just as I feared, on the bottom beneath lists of teas, fancy soaps, mugs and such, there is my name with a little note to the side that says basket assembler. They ARE planning to put me to work as soon as they get the materials to assemble these horrible things! Does anyone know the best way to prevent this? I thought of eating the list, but honestly, the paper tastes awful.u
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I can't believe this. I was gone five minutes to get a snack, and what do I come back to find but the bunnies have amused themselves messing up my blog again, and even worse, trying to recruit my readers to assist them with their horrible basket plans! I'm very sorry about that. Really, I need to get a lock for this computer or something to keep them out when I'm away. Does anyone know the best way to install bunnyproofing?
Hey, it's Bebe Bunny again. Our brother trotted off to check out his food bowl, so I thought I would hop on for a minute. I'm sure you heard him complaining about the goodie baskets we talked to the human about making to either gift or sell at the reunion. Really, we don't know what his problem is with something so nice. Our human's been reading tons on improving reunions and what others are doing right for reunions, and we are sure that the baskets, along with the bags are a great way to go. So, here's where you readers come in. What sort of basket would you be interested in? A food goodie basket from the food co-op is a must, along with a tea basket. We can get the materials for that there too. Really, the co-op is just the nicest store, and they're always so happy to see rabbits hopping in. The human's thinking a basket with beauty stuff, too. What else would you suggest? We were thinking books, Christmas stuff, possibly even a pet basket. Please send all suggestions here! We really need your advice!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The human is going to make those goodie baskets, just like the rabbits suggested. She came home today, toting a bunch of basket bags that some store foolishly had on sale, just for that purpose. She has enough to make eight baskets, and I'm sure she will be able to get more basket assembly supplies if she needs them. Now, the bunnies are lounging on the bed, making lists of items that need to go into the baskets, and I don't want to think about how many of those items can be obtained at the food co-op right next to the seed! And as if that isn't bad enough, the little pests are chattering about the best way to assemble these baskets, and I don't like the way that they are looking at me during these talks, like they are marking me down for basket packing duty!
Monday, January 24, 2011
The goodie horrors are growing. I knew that my exile would give those rabbits too much time to come up with bad ideas. Bunnies need careful supervision at all times, in order to prevent them from getting horrible notions in their fluffy little heads, after all. Now they are thinking the human could make up gift baskets too, to either sell to raise money for horrible, family related activities such as obtaining more material for book assembly, for tombstone cleaning or purchase, or for who knows what other horrors that will encourage the growth of that awful tree, or to give out to relatives who have hit milestones. And of course, the bunnies think a great place to get things for these goodie baskets would be at the food co-op, the place that caters to rabbits and the encouragement of rabbit delinquency! The human has several cousins who are really into the kinds of things sold there, so the bunnies told her that they're sure she could get a good price for a goodie basket from that horrible business! And I think she's listening to them! I know I spotted her working on a list of the best materials to put into such a goodie basket! What in the world will I do if she decides to make the horrible thing up? I'm sure the bunnies will want to hop along with her to get the materials, and that can only lead to their getting their paws on frightening amounts of seed!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
I got back on just in time to hear of the latest horrors, involving the human and her plans for those reunion goodie bags. The bunnies had lots of time to poke around on the computer while I was exiled, and they found out that some people offer seeds as party favors. So, naturally, the little cotton tailed trouble-makers hopped to the computer right away to look for information on how to best assemble these things, and now they are all clustered, chattering to the human about what wonderful gifts these would be for the family reunion goody bags! They're even planning to offer their services to design little labels for the seed bags if the human agrees with them, which I'm sure she will. And you know the bunnies will use the purchase of seeds for the goodie bags as an opportunity to obtain extra seed for themselves, too. I'm sensing their horrible garden growing by leaps and bounds! And what if the human goes to the archives? The store with the best selection of cheap seed is right there on the bus route!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
I'm back! The human has finally decided that the flea treatment has worn off enough to permit me to set paw in her room again, and can I say it was just in time too? I can't believe what has happened to my nice little blog in my absence! Gardening posts, quilt posts! I'm surprised they didn't let Betsy Bear post on the best ways to snatch candy from infants! It will take me forever to get this place straightened out! And can I say now, how sorry I am that my loyal readers were subjected to such horrors as my siblings' attempts to blog?
Friday, January 21, 2011
Hello. The snow did stop, so I decided to do what the bunnies were bugging me about, and venture out of the den to post. My name is Annann Polar Bear, and I'm here today to talk about quilts. The simplest way to make a quilt is to find a fat quarter, with a print too nice to cut up. You take that, and then you sew a border on all four sides. If you happen to be a larger animal, you might need two or more borders to get the size you want. Once you have your top to the size you need, pick a piece of nice looking fabric for the backing. Now, we come to the most important part, the batting! We can't say enough about the wonders of wool for batting, and the best wool is fresh off of the sheep! This is the tricky part of quilting, now. First, you must find a sheep. We recommend mapquest for hunting them down. You will need at least two for this, someone to hold down the sheep and someone to weld the scissors for sheering. You won't believe the fuss those sheep put up over handing over wool. They ought to be ashamed of themselves! Here's how we do it. One polar bear pounces on the sheep, while another snags the back hooves, then the cubs move in with the scissors. We also recommend wearing earplugs during this, to keep from hearing the complaints of the sheep, and their threats to contact lawyers and authorities. You will need at least a sheep's worth of wool for a good quilt, possibly more if you are a larger animal, or have made the mistake of making your home in a colder climate. Once you have your wool, stuff it between the two layers of fabric, and secure the layers together in whatever manner you wish. You can use a lot of little, fancy stitches, or thread and knots, whatever works best for you. Then, once you have the two layers secured, use a long, skinny piece of fabric to bind the outer edges and you're done! There, quiltmaking made simple and don't worry, the sheep haven't been able to find legal representation yet!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Hello, it's Bebe Bunny, here to report on our plans for the upcoming gardening season with some help from my sisters Kiley and Josie Rabbit. Now is the time to start making plans for your garden, and we're already hard at work. We've been going through the seed catalogs, and taking an inventory of what we have already. Hopefully by March, we will be ready to start the germination process. Our neighbor offered to assist with digging for the garden this year. Wasn't that so nice of her? And I'm sure the dogs who live with her are going to offer to lend a paw as well, so we need to have lots of seeds ready to go. We tried direct planting last year, but honestly, the sprouting method from the year before, using the coffee filters and the plastic bags worked better, so we plan to go back to that for this season. The top of the hot water heater is an excellent location for seed germination, in case you plan to try this yourself. We can't say enough good things about it. Our grandhuman complained terribly, though, about our seed once we moved them to the little plastic containers on the table, so we're looking for plans to make another germination location, possibly inside the dead dryer. If any fish read this blog, and are planning to upgrade your home with new lights, we would be happy to take the old ones off of your fins to use for this purpose. We're sure, with the dryer bin removed and some lights put in, that the frame will make the perfect, warm home for our seed. I'll be happy to give more details later. Tomorrow, if the snow stops and they're willing to come out, though, the polar bears will report on quilt assembly!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The increased guard seems to be keeping our brother out very nicely, I'm happy to say. Really, he ought to be ashamed, with how he keeps trying to sneak in like he is, even though he still smells of his flea treatment. Luckily we rabbits know how to handle him. So, until he is allowed back, which might not be for a long time, especially if more fleas are found, my siblings and I will be entertaining you. Did you know gardening season is upon us? Tomorrow, I will post on our plans for this happen event, and will offer tips on the best way to get your garden going! And if the polar bears can be convinced to set paw out of their den, they will offer you quilting tips on Friday.
This blogging is actually a lot of fun. I suppose I see why our brother enjoys it so, but still, that doesn't justify his attempts to creep in here when he knows full well that he's banned. We can still smell the flea treatment on him, and we take no chances on the human ending up covered in hives. You won't believe it, but he tried rolling in a can of peas as a bribe just a bit ago! Really, does he think that we are all dumb bunnies? And how would we get into the peas, even if we were interested, anyway? He certainly didn't bring the can opener in as well!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Oh, that naughty brother of ours crept on the computer when he knows he is supposed to stay out of here! Can you believe he did that, knowing what happened with the human and the hives last time? And he took advantage of an infant bunny too, waving carrots under her little pink nose, until she hopped away from her guard post! Well, we're going to take care of that right now. The rabbits assigned to guard duty are having their ranks doubled! Let's see him get past us again. And we're dragging all bags of carrots in here so he can't try the distraction trick too. Really, he ought to be ashamed, and now the computer keyboard is going to have to be cleaned!
Okay, I'm back. The human is taking a shower, so I distracted the rabbit guarding the computer with carrots so I could get on. Honestly, what in the world is the human thinking, banning me from the computer like that, due to a little flea treatment? It isn't like I asked her to put it on me, after all, so why in the world should I be punished with the lack of computer time, just in case said treatment might turn her into a hive covered mess? Really, it isn't fair at all, but of course those rabbits are all on the human's side, and are keeping a close eye on me. Luckily the baby bunny was taking this shift, and she's a bit more distractable than some of the others. Wait. Do I hear hopping? Got to go!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Hey, this is Sir Pinky's bunny sister Bebe with an update on why our brother isn't posting. He's fine, but our grandhuman spotted a flea yesterday, so he was caught, and flea treatment was applied. Unfortunately, our human suspects she might be allergic to something in the flea treatment, so Pinky's been banished from her room, the home of the computer, until it has a chance to wear off.
Friday, January 14, 2011
I'm afraid I have alarming horrors to report in regards to that human's planned family reunion. She's making plans for goodie bags, to lag to it, in order to lure more people in with promises of gifts. As part of this goodie bag assembling, she's been writing various places, requesting donations, based on something that she read in one of her magazines for planners of such horrifying events. I'm very frightened to report that she has already received a positive reply from the local zoo, offering her coupons! Really, doesn't the zoo have enough troubles with repeated penguin escapes, due to my siblings scheduling parties? What if the human's reunion decides to schedule a group zoo trip due to those coupons? Every penguin in the place will surely use such a thing as the perfect opportunity to fly the coup, and trot over here to hang around! I will be up to my pointed ears in penguins!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Sorry I haven't posted in a bit, but I didn't want to frighten all of you too much with the continuing horrors. We have had more snow, and you don't want to think about how that particular bit of weather is making the polar bears act. I hope all of the sheep in the area have had time to get wool insurance is all that I can say about that. And then, to make matters worse, the water on top of the pool cover is frozen, making the perfect skating rink for the penguins. They've been zooming around out there, and I know that I've spotted a few extra penguins that I'm sure were listed on the zoo's website as escapees. I really ought to see about scouting out a better hiding place, in case the zoo comes around, looking for those fugitive birds. And then there is the horror of the human's work on the family reunion. But I will share that tomorrow, so you won't be too frightened to sleep tonight.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Today is worse than yesterday, somehow, even though yesterday I was facing starvation or being converted to vegetarianism. That horrible weatherman is calling for snow, and naturally the polar bears are in a panic. They keep talking about how warm and cozy the hotel the humans stayed at was, and are clustered on the bed, begging to return there right away before the evil snow starts to fall. What if the humans decide to head up that way? They could get snowbound, and then what would happen to me, here alone with the bunnies and their plot to convert me to munching veggies? I wonder if I could convince the rabbits that they all should go along with the humans, to spread the word of the wonders of vegetables to others, instead of just sharing it with me?
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I'm back, and with a nightmarish tale of horror. I suggest you hide all small children now, so they don't accidentally learn of this. One of the limbs on the human's alarming family tree took ill, so my humans had to leave unexpectedly to see to this relation. At first I thought it might work out great, since six out of the seven polar bears currently in residence here and Betsy Bear departed with her, but then the humans were gone for almost three days! I ran out of food! My dish was totally empty. My backup dish was totally empty! The backup dish for the backup dish was empty! And as if not having food wasn't bad enough, the rabbits offered to provide food! They're vegetarians, and you should have seen the looks they were giving me, and the chuckling. They saw this as the perfect opportunity to convert me to their vegetarian lifestyle. They were planning to stuff me with salads, carrots, and broccoli until I gave in and decided to follow their chosen food plan. If they humans hadn't returned when they did, I might have been a vegetarian at this very moment. What in the world am I going to do if they have to leave again?
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been laying low in case the authorities came poking around wanting to find out where Betsy got that load of electronics that she lagged to the pawn shop. Really, if you want to see a truly frightening sight, imagine that bear coming trotting in, lagging a large pile of money. Heaven only knows what she is planning to do with the cash. Oh, and those reindeer are still tied up in the backyard too. I'm sure that's a horrible sign that she's planning to use them for some additional crimes later on in the month. Or perhaps for Valentines' Day. Being able to get airborne would probably help her to attack Cupid for his candy easier.