Monday, April 30, 2012
Things on the rabbit front have gotten worse. Tonight the human let TWELVE rabbits hop out with her to attend a play! A DOZEN bunnies were allowed out of the house at once! Oh, I tried to stop them, I really did, but with that many bunnies, all hopping around, it was impossible. Every time I caught one by the ears, and tried to drag them away from the door, then two more would pounce on me and free the captive bunny. Finally they ended up tossing a piece of cheese and by the time I had found it, they were in the car. I'm sure that play gave them awful ideas. It featured a giant field of poppy plants. Not good at all. They'll probably want to amuse themselves planting those next!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
The bunnies are continuing to be allowed to hop along, whenever the human goes out. So unfair, and I'm sure all it will result in is trouble. Today she let them accompany her when she went out to a buffet. I'm sure the pizza place's salad bar didn't survive, and those rabbits certainly didn't bring back the slice of anchovy with extra cheese pizza that I wanted. Honestly, how much longer is the human going to keep taking the bunnies out? They brought her ONE day of good luck! Surely that doesn't merit this many trips!
Saturday, April 28, 2012
The bunnies went to that awful plant sale, and it was even worse than I feared. They came hopping home with a green zebra tomato, the plant they plant to feature on the front cover of their first bunny novel. Needless to say, they were thrilled to find the plant, and are even talking about purchasing a special pot for it to live in! Nothing good is going to come of that, and as if the fact the bunnies want to put this plant on a book cover isn't bad enough, then there's the fact that it's sure to attract zebras. They're probably on their way over, even as we speak. It wouldn't surprise me at all. The plant sale was alarmingly close to the zoo, so the zebras there probably already know of the bunnies' purchase! And what in the world am I to do, when the back yard is full of a zebra herd, I would like to know!
Friday, April 27, 2012
The bunnies got to hop out with the human again this afternoon. Really, this is the third day I think she's let them go out with her. How many more trips is she going to give them, to reward them for the good luck their feet brought her? They've already convinced her to take them to the plant sale tomorrow, although I'm kind of okay with that. I hate to think of what plants they will get their paws on, but at least if they go with the human, they won't expect me to help pull their wagon over there for shopping purposes.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
The bunnies used what I thought was shredded cheese to lure me into the bunny movie this morning. It looked exactly like cheese, but when I got close enough, would you believe that it was carrot slivers? But by the time I realized, it was too late, and the bunnies had me. Really, I have never seen such a frightening movie as their leader's film. I don't know why in the world it isn't rated R or possibly X. Did you know that the rabbits have an entire island that serves as bunny headquarters? It's a frightening place called Easter Island. Oh, I would never want to go there, and I hope none of my readers are ever forced to visit this place either. All of the rabbits, hopping everywhere, and the entire island is probably packed with nothing but vegetables. Who in the world let the bunnies take over an entire island to serve as their kingdom?
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
As if it isn't bad enough that the bunnies have been promised large amounts of seed, now the human has arranged to host a bunny movie celebration for them. They've got their leader's film, several other frightening bunny flicks, and popcorn all ready for the viewing marathon. And my leash. They have my leash all ready to go, and have already issued my seat assignment, in the second row, between two rabbits, with more bunnies than I want to think of sitting behind me, probably spilling carrot juice upon my ears! Do you know how hard it is to get carrot juice out of fur?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Oh, and as if isn't bad enough that the bunnies are being rewarded for using their feet and bringing the human good luck, in the car on the way home they reminded the human of one of her cousins with connections to the book industry. And that they would bet anything that this relation would just love to help the human get all of her books published! So now the human is planning to contact the relative right away. Oh, I sense disaster. Talking about the books will only lead to publishing books, and talking to a relation will only lead to potential growth of that awful family tree! A double dose of horror!
The human had something that she wanted good luck for this afternoon. As soon as they heard the mention of good luck, the bunnies came hopping in, and let the human know that their feet are just full of good luck, and the more rabbits that accompanied her, the better her luck would be. I was sure the entire thing was a scheme to get to go out, but the human took five rabbits with her, and when she returned, she was crowing about her wonderful luck! So now she has declared it is all due to the bunnies, and that they're her new best friends! I can't believe this! She is planning to buy them lavish gifts of seed as a reward for this good luck! Have you ever heard of something so awful in your life?
Monday, April 23, 2012
Disaster is heading my way. Doomed, I am doomed! A horrible neighborhood, right up the street, is having a PLANT sale starting bright and early Saturday morning! They have huge signs up everywhere advertising this, and the bunnies spotted one while on the way to get the human's glasses adjusted yet again. Plants, and I wouldn't be surprised if they are offering seed for sale too. The bunnies are debating now about getting a tent, and going to camp out at the sale site, so they will be the first in line when it opens on Saturday! That will be a disaster for sure! And they're wanting to take the wagon, to better lag their purchases back, and I'm sure they have my name down on a list somewhere, to help pull said wagon. I know they've already got me down for a sleeping bag if they do find a tent!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
I can't believe this. It's nippy in here, and from what I hear, downright cold outside. The weatherman is to blame for this, I just know that he is. I heard him laughing, up the street in his little weather station just yesterday so I should have known he had something evil planned for us. Anyway, the polar bears aren't taking the nippy weather well at all. I just heard them, talking about catching me and making me move into their den again, for the warmth MY fur would offer THEM! Polar bears snore! If they try to make me share a den with them, I will never get a bit of sleep!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
I haven't been captured and drug to the country so far, but the bunnies are clustered in the human's room, lounging on the bed with her, so they'll be conveniently located to agree that it would be a wonderful idea to go up there to stay, should the human bring it up. I see nothing but disaster resulting from those bunnies being so close, and probably sleeping with the human. I'm sure they're whispering ideas for stories in her ears, which can only lead to more writing and publishing. Which can only lead to visits to the COUNTRY! I knew they were working to get up there!
Friday, April 20, 2012
That mulch is still burning. Really, I don't know what in the world those firepeople are doing, allowing such a thing. Do they WANT to see me captured and drug to the country because they have allowed something the human is allergic to to fill the air? What in the world did I ever do to them? The human had an alarming sneezing fit a bit ago,that I'm sure is somehow connected to exposure to that mulch fire. And as soon as she started sneezing, I heard hopping as the rabbits clustered around. Not a good sign. I'm sure they're suggesting a visit to the country, even as we speak. The day just can't get any worse, and I thought it had hit it's high point of awfulness earlier, when the bunnies hopped in from a sale this Presbunterian church was having with a load of rabbit sized hats, and started talking about how they were sure one of the hats would be a perfect fit for ME!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
The human is still sniffing suspiciously, and now the bunnies are talking about how nice a weekend in the country would be. Does anyone have any advice for what I should do if the rabbits pounce with intent to drag me away to a seatbelt for a little ride? Really, I can't imagine anything worse than being trapped up there. I'm sure that my bunny siblings will demand I come calling with them, on the country rabbits, and probably on the squirrels who have moved in as well. And there will be nothing good to eat in either place except vegetables and nuts! And then there are the sleeping arrangements, stuck in the middle of a pile of my siblings, on the top bunk, so they can steal warmth from MY fur! Maybe I ought to start looking for a hiding place. Surely there's somewhere in the house those rabbits wouldn't think of looking for me.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I just heard a sniff from the human's room. I know I did. A sniff is not good! Next will come a sneeze, and then there will be a bunny right there to suggest a trip to the country. One of the rabbits is even loitering on the human's bed to make suggesting fleeing to the country more convenient! Oh, this will be a disaster! As if the country wasn't bad enough, it's nippy too, and I'm sure that will result in those rabbits, and especially the polar bears, wanting to sleep all snuggled up together. And who will they expect to snuggle with them? ME! They will want to get the warmth from my fur, that isn't intended to benefit anyone else, and use it for themselves! Polar bears snore, and I wouldn't be surprised if the bunnies don't do something annoying in their sleep too. I won't get a bit of rest if I have to sleep with them!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
That mulch is still burning. Really, what in the world is the fire department doing? It has been three days now. Have the decided to make this mulch their career or something? The human had to venture out today, and she ventured in the direction of the mulch fire too, so now she is coughing, taking sinus medication and worried. I'm sure that next she will start to listen to what the rabbits are saying, about how we should all go to the nice, smoke-free country at once. I spotted one of the bunnies a bit ago, getting my leash, I'm sure in eager anticipation of capturing me and popping me into a seatbelt between two of them for the ride up there. And what in the world am I going to do if they do get me? At the rate those firemen are going, the mulch will never stop burning, and who knows how long I will be trapped in the country?
Monday, April 16, 2012
Oh, this is just awful, and why in the world isn't the fire department being punished for not doing their jobs? A giant pile of mulch caught fire yesterday, and it was still burning this afternoon, and smoking up the entire town! My human is allergic to smoke, and ends up coughing, wheezing and miserable every time she is exposed to it. Of course the rabbits know this too, and I just caught the lot of them, clustered in the human's room, telling her we should all flee to the country at once, until the firemen have the air cleared and breathable here. And what in the world am I going to do if the human decides to listen to them? I swear I just heard a cough, and possibly a sneeze as well. Not a good sign. And then she's going to start thinking about the cost of antibiotics should this lead to a sinus infection. Woe, woe, woe is me! She'll listen to those bunnies, I just know it, and the next thing I know, I'll be stuffed in the car between two rabbits, fastened into a seatbelt, and heading for my doom in the country!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
You won't believe this, and if some store sells this outfit to the rabbits, I swear I will see them in a court of law! I found an illustration the bunnies made of how they want to set up the table for book signings, and do you know what was in it? Me, having to drag books from box to table, with a pair of fake rabbit ears in my head, and my nice tail stuffed up inside an imitation cotton tail! They plan to make me look like a bunny! Surely such a costume is illegal. I don't want to think of the tail cramps wearing that cotton tail would lead to.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
The human went to that church event today, and just before she strolled out the door, a rabbit hopped into her arms. I spent hours cringing, just knowing that the bunny would return with a flock of new siblings. Luckily she didn't bring a batch back, but when she returned she had a pile of bunny themed merchandise, just perfect for decorating the human's table for book signings! More bunny items, and so reasonably priced too! Every bunny book signing item just makes it more likely that these books are going to happen, and I am going to be drafted into assisting with selling. And how will I explain to other cats why I am working at promoting such works?
Friday, April 13, 2012
Oh, this is awful! I heard the humans talking a bit ago about an event this church is holding this weekend where there will be frightening amounts of merchandise, and likely hot dogs on sale. REally, the human just had hot dogs this evening. Does she have to munch another one down so soon? Bet apparently she wants to, because she's planning to go to this. I wonder if I have time to sabotage her clock? Such events seem to attract bears for some reason, bears that the human always invites to move in. The siblings I have here are more than enough! I don't know how I'll watch the lot of them if more move in, and believe me, they need careful observation at all times. I heard a couple of them talking just a bit ago about how nice the lawn looks, just perfect for photos, so I think they're plotting to try to do something about organizing a group photo again. We don't need more bears to make the group larger! There are only so many fur brushes around here, after all. more siblings just means an increased brushing line and longer to get a photo done. And the longer it takes, the more likely it is that I will be spotted, trapped amongst the bears, bunnies and others, waiting to pose!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
The human went out to the store today, in the company of a couple of bears. I knew better than to let the bunnies out, since this is the season of sales on bunny themed merchandise, 50% off or more. I thought allowing a bear out would be safe, though. I should have known better. I guess they had been talking to the rabbits, and had agreed to do them a favor, because they returned with a tablecloth, with bunnies all over it, just perfect for book signing decorating! I can't believe this. Now I'll have to keep an eye on each and every sibling, to make sure more of them don't offer the bunnies assistance in shopping for book signing goodies! I have over 700 siblings! How in the world can I watch the lot of them at once?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I can't believe this. I was just checking a few things online and you won't believe what I found. The bunnies have been prowling around one of the fiction sites the human visits, and have encountered another rabbit, a bunny that apparently spends all of his time dreaming up stories! A writer rabbit! And they have now invited this bunny to hop over here to hang out! Oh, absolutely not! That bunny will be a horrible influence, and I refuse to allow him in here! Does anyone know the best locks to keep rabbits out? And maybe some idea for software to block the bunnies from talking to this rabbit online? All talking to him will do is encourage them with rabbit stories, something they absolutely don't need!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Oh, this is just getting worse. Not only has the human dreamed up ideas for the covers for the bunny novels, but now she's been thinking and has came up with an idea for those horrible bear mysteries! A cover featuring ME and the bears! She's going to make me appear on a book cover with them! What in the world will I do if other cats see this? Do you suppose I have time to convince every other feline to give up reading?
Monday, April 9, 2012
Easter was an all around success once more, I am sorry to say. The Easter Bunny tried a catapult this year, to launch baskets to the neighborhood children rather than risk hopping around to deliver the candy himself. Unfortunately, Betsy had a pile of nets. I had wondered what she was going to do with those when she brought them back from the country after the human's last visit. Now I know. The backyard is currently littered with a giant empty basket mountain as a result and the wrappers from chocolate eggs are everywhere. As for my bunny siblings, needless to say, their leader was impressed with their work, and with the bunny book plans. He gave them MONEY this time! Those rabbits have cash in their paws! And you know they aren't going to spend it on anything good, either, but will just use it to purchase seed and vegetable plants!
Sunday, April 8, 2012
I blame the Easter Bunny for this. He must have hopped into the human's room and whispered the idea into her ear. It's the only explanation I can think of. Now the human has ideas for the cover designs for the first six rabbit books, something she thinks will be eye-catching and cute! And with a bunny. In her plan each cover will feature at least one rabbit if not more. At least six covers with rabbits. I hate to think of how encouraged my bunny siblings will be by getting such prominence on a book cover. What is next, giving Betsy Bear a cover shot? WAIT! I think that might be next!
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Oh, this is horrible! As if this week hasn't been bad enough, now this happens to totally top things off. The human just sent off one of her books to a potential illustrator to see if it might be something she thinks she could do. An illustrator, almost the last step before publishing, and just a bit away from selling! Selling, which is what those bunnies are planning to force me to assist with! Why did I ever get out of bed this week?
Friday, April 6, 2012
It's up! The entire census is UP! And worse, they already have an index for Nevada and Delaware. Only 48 states and a few assorted territories to go to finish the thing. Four days to upload the thing. Want to bet it will be indexed just as fast? It would probably have been done even faster if the rabbits hadn't be a bit distracted this week, anticipating the arrival of their leader. I can't believe this. Where are the police?! I'm sure this has to be illegal causing such terrible, awful tree growth!
In all of my alarm over the release of that horrible census, it completely slipped my mind to check the calendar. So needless to say, I was caught off guard when the bunnies pounced on me today, to force me into assisting them with hanging signs welcoming their leader when he comes hopping by this weekend. I can't believe it is time for that bunny to drop by again. My rabbit siblings have a sample of the bunny book all ready to show him, along with the giant sack of popcorn, and their corn maze plans. He is sure to be impressed. Nothing good can come of that rabbit being impressed! Impressing him always seems to lead to abundant rewards for my siblings, and to trouble for me. Perhaps I ought to offer to assist Betsy Bear in putting out the snares to catch the bunny. At least that might delay the horror a bit!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
I anticipate that the rest of that horrible census will be up this evening. There are only a few states left. Four days. It only took them four days to get this thing up. The Department of Rabbitculture is to blame for this, I just know it! There are probably bunnies from that horrible place swarming all over the archive at this very moment, racing around poking this online! With the number of rabbits in existence, it is the only possible way I can see for this to have been completed so fast. Horrors, horrors, horrors! And with all of those rabbits working, I'm sure they'll have an index done soon. I can just see it now. Hundreds, probably thousands of bunnies typing away to get this online, and to encourage that terrible tree!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Where are the authorities! I demand they do their job and arrest that horrible archive right away for endangering us all! They only have a few states left to go to have the entire awful, evil, tree-encouraging census up! It has been three days and they have the entire thing almost posted! And index is sure to follow! At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't here by the weekend. The archive is down the street from the Department of Rabbitculture, after all. They probably sent down there for some bunnies to handle indexing duties. We're all doomed! The human is happily poking away at Kansas now, and is sure to find more relatives. And what if she finds more relatives and invites them to the family reunion?
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
There must be a way to punish that horrible, awful archive for releasing such records. Surely it violates the law the encourage the growth of the human's tree this way. More states including this one became available today, sending the human hurrying to the computer to search for more relations. And more states will surely be up tomorrow. At this rate, can an index be far behind? That tree has already sprouted new branches, and this census has only been out two days. Do you think the archive might have been influenced by the Department of Rabbitculture to do this? I'm sure the rabbits in charge there would think encouraging a monster tree was a wonderful idea!
Monday, April 2, 2012
It's starting already! That tree is growing! The human just found Cousin Lula! And even worse, she found a list detailing Cousin Lula's decendents! Horrors, horrors, horrors! That can only lead to obituaries, learning the married names of Cousin Lula's multiple sisters, and the tree shooting up even further! I will see Cousin Lula's family persecuted for this! Just see if I don't! I can already see those tree leaves trembling more, getting ready to GROW!
Where are the authorities when you need them? Wasn't it bad enough when that horrible archive place down the street from the Department of Rabbitculture let the human trot in and gather all of those pension records, guaranteed to help her grow that awful tree? They have topped themselves with the evil they have caused this time. Really they have, and I hope a nut falls off of that tree and bops them in the head! Those awful, awful people. They just amused themselves releasing the 1940 census! The human has already started poking at the thing, looking to add more relations. Luckily only a few states are up at the moment, and there isn't an index but I fear that will change soon. I can see the tree's leaves quivering in anticipation of the coming growth!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
The humans went to country to check out the cottage today, undoubtedly in anticipation of a visit. I knew I saw the bunnies dragging out my leash for a reason. Anyway, you won't believe what is going on up there. A family of squirrels have moved in, I'm sure at the invitations of the rabbits! They are relatives of bunnies' squirrel buddy who lives in our neighbors' tree and who is assisting the rabbits with garden planting this year. These country squirrels have installed a squirrel penthouse, and even have a little mailbox with the name S and B Squirrel up. Squirrel neighbors. Isn't it bad enough that I have to deal with the squirrels here? Must I deal with them when I'm captured and drug to the country too? Ande what if the bunnies convince those squirrels to help them install a SECOND garden up there?