Sunday, May 30, 2010

Sunday Update

The human is feeling better today, and although most would think that's a good sign, the fact that she's talking rather alarmingly about doing some writing in a bit surely isn't. I don't like the fact that she keeps thinking up new ideas for horrible novels either. The latest, involving a honey festival, is especially worrisome. I'm sure that will give Betsy bad ideas. Can you imagine what might happen if that bear attended a honey festival?

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Human Returned

The human is back from that graduation, and in horrible news for me, she's managed to return with a case of food poisoning. Really, I ought to lock the doors to keep that human from getting out of the house. She gets into trouble any time she leaves. The bathroom is now on my rooms to avoid list, and so is the human's bedroom until her stomach settles. Really, why couldn't Betsy get this? It would be so much safer for all concerned if she was ill and unable to cause trouble for awhile.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Graduation Report

That cousin who had the nerve to graduate should be arrested, is all that I can say. The human managed to get into an extensive genealogical discussion while attending this reunion, and now she is hot on the trail of a coveted family Bible. I'm sure no good can come of her finding that book. Oh, and in even worse news, the rabbits got their hands on two large bags of beans as well. I expect to have to go into hiding, as soon as the bunnies come hopping back, or I might be forced into assisting them with planting these seeds.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Human Plans

The human is attending another graduation this weekend, and I am very concerned. There are alarming numbers of libraries along the path leading to this event, and I just know the human will use this as an excuse to poke more at that terrible tree of hers. Really, what are her relatives thinking? Can't a few of them fail, and spare us all from that monster plant?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Cub Is Home

That cub has been found and returned home. I expect the law to show up tomorrow, asking questions, seeing as the bunnies had their name on that twine they are missing. At least now that the cub is at home, though, things can return to normal around here. Of course, one bad thing about normal, I'm very afraid it will include the human submitting the bunny books to an agent sometime in the next few days. I guess I can sacrifice our neighbors though. Them loosing their home is better than my home becoming hostage central.

The Cub

Thank goodness, that pesky little cub has been spotted, and not tied up in the pool house either. Either Betsy's cousins weren't able to snag her, or more likely, they did, and she escaped. Needless to say, the human is thrilled and I must admit I am too. My fur is safe from sobs, and the house is safe from Betsy's cousins making it kidnapping headquarters!

Monday, May 24, 2010


The human is still worried about that cub, and is thinking of avoiding Facebook for awhile so she doesn't see anything else upsetting. Of course, the problem is, that if she does this, I'm sure that will leave her alarming amounts of time to work on that awful tree of hers. I ought to take that cub to court for causing all of this trouble. And, to make matters worse, I've seen Betsy with the glue, scissors and the newspaper, cutting out words and pasting them onto another sheet, and there are alarming words such as money, with the m crossed out, and replaced with an h to make the word honey, and other words like leave, under, and tree. I don't like that or else phrase she cut out from an editorial either.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Cub Update

Well, that pesky little bear cub is still missing, and although I'm sure her mother just has her stashed somewhere as part of a plot to get a book deal. or more honey or berries as payment for letting those humans follow her around, I have to admit I'm starting to get some concerns too. I saw Betsy online a bit ago, checking out the bear's fan page, taking notes of the number of humans who like her, and chucking as she punched numbers into a calculator. She placed a call to her cousins, the ones in the bear mafia, a short time later, and I'm suspicious of how they were laughing, and talking about something being as easy as taking honey from a cub. The bunnies are missing a net, and they were complaining a bit ago about how their twine for tying up peas and beans is gone as well. I fear Betsy is planning on taking advantage of what this cub's mother is up to, and is plotting with her cousins to snatch the cub for ransom. I can't be blamed if I check in the morning and find the little thing stashed in the pool house, can I?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Bears Should be Arrested

I want those bears arrested right away. Surely there is some sort of law against them causing such damage to my poor fur. As if it wasn't bad enough that there was a poor bear killed in the mountains, now another cub who was on Facebook has gone missing. Needless to say, the human is freaked, and I'm sure will break into sobs at any moment. Honestly, what are those bears thinking? The mother bear probably hid the cub, planning to trot her out later and get some sort of book deal. Either that, or the little thing thought Betsy might drop in, and took to the trees in an attempt to hide. I don't think the human is going to calm down though. Really, what did I do so wrong, to make the bears give me all of this grief? Don't I put up with all of my siblings and their antics with more tolerance than most cats? Those bears should behave themselves and spare my fur! I ought to turn the law loose on them!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Today's Update

The human is still very sad about that poor little bear that was killed in the mountains yesterday. I think I might need fur protection until she stops crying. And, to make things even worse, in an attempt to cheer herself, the human went and poked around some more on another limb of that terrible family tree. Really, I ought to report the relative she investigated today for endangering us all with giant plant life. He's probably already guilty of who knows how many other crimes. I don't care if he's dead. Causing that tree to grow should get him drug in!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Mountain Bear Issue

The human was very upset today due to this poor mountain bear, little more than a cub really, who nipped a tourist, and was then captured and killed by the park service, despite a big effort on Facebook to save the poor thing. I do feel sorry for the bear, who was probably just trying to flee in anticipation of Betsy dropping in, but the human was threatening to boycott the park, which might have cut into her genealogy efforts big time. I'm afraid she's came up with a worse plan, though. She is going to fictionalize this, and put it in one of her bear mysteries. Just wonderful. I hope that park is insured. They were worried about the annoying human who got nipped suing, I'm sure. Well, they should have worried more about this. The other bears weren't happy to begin with about what happened to this poor bear, and were in negotiations with the woodpecker for suitable payback. Now the human will probably need to go there for research, and they will be able to give my tenant a ride to peck apart park headquarters instead of him having to take the trouble to fly. And then there's Betsy. She was ticked too, thinking that this might make the other bears nervous and more difficult for her to hunt them down for robbery purposes. Now she can torment the poor park for that, and for research purposes. They are doomed. I'll bet in a few weeks, they will be wishing the pesky tourist who claimed he was nipped had fallen over the waterfall the trail led to, before this all happened.

Reunion Work Continues

The human went to work trying to get goodies for that horrible reunion today. I ought to be happy, since it might keep her from working on that tree, but I have an awful feeling she can multi=task. And I don't like the way the rabbits are hopping about, offering to assist her in assembling goodie bags once she gets stuff for the reunion either. The bunnies keep looking over at me when they're offering assistance, and then chuckling in a very suspicious manner. . I think they've marked me down for the goodie bag assembly line!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

More Reunion Issues

The human is looking into more stuff, related to that evil family tree to bring to the horrible reunion, so needless to say, I'm working hard on finding a hiding place. She trotted by the office store today, getting prices on getting books made of the genealogy stuff she's gathered. I shudder to think of how big those books might end up being, and even worse, she is looking into making up little booklets to pass out at the reunion, with info on the main groups everyone descends from. Now this wouldn't bother me too much since how much info could a little booklet hold, but the rabbits have been taking a look, and they say they're sure they can save the human the five cent stapling cost. They're looking at me when they're saying this too, and I just know those bunnies are planning to put me to work with the stapler! They're probably thinking they can use the money saved to purchase seed!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Going into Hiding

I have to go into hiding right away. That's my only choice. I don't know how I'll fit my litter box into my hiding place, but I'll have to squeeze it in somehow. The human is making a list of places to contact, looking for goodies for that horrible reunion, and the penguins have been waddling around, suggesting places where their penguin relations live, and asking for free or discounted tickets. They claim they just want to help the human out, but I know better. They want an excuse to get together with their penguin relatives, and plan pool parties! The house will be packed with penguins if the human goes though with her plans!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Humans Have Returned

The humans are back, and unfortunately, Betsy returned with them. She smells suspiciously of honey, syrup and waffles. I'm sure she robbed the hotel the humans camped out at last night. My only comfort is that the human says it wasn't too crowded, so maybe not many people managed to loose their free breakfasts. I hate to think of those poor mountain bears, though. The human encountered another cousin at the cemetery, and got to talking genealogy. The bear had hours to run wild! Oh, and while she was out, the human developed some new, horrifying ideas for the family reunion, too. She's going to start work on that tomorrow. I just know that will lead to nothing good.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Graduation Horrors

The lunatics are out in full force. I wonder if I should look for a full moon or something? They are having a flower festival right by where the human is attending that graduation. Obviously nuts are in charge of this, is all that I can say. Don't those people know that flower festivals attract rabbits? I think I'm going to scout out a hiding place while the humans are gone. Who knows what the bunnies will come hopping back with.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

To The Mountain Bears

If any mountain bears are reading this, and with all of those hotels up there with wifi, I don't know why would wouldn't be, I thought you should know that your doom is fast approaching. The human's been making alarming mentions of getting the flower bin from the attic, in anticipation of cemetery visits, and you know Betsy will be trotting along for this. As you should well know, the human is very distractable in cemeteries so I wouldn't count on Betsy being supervised at all. Perhaps you could check into a hotel for the weekend to hide? She might not think of looking for you there, and there are coupons on practically every corner for rooms. Oh, and cubs stay free, if that helps some of you make up your mind to flee to the safety of a nice hotel.


Our poor neighbors. I'm not sure how in the world I should break this to them. The human has found an agent that she thinks is perfect for her, and now she's making plans to send in a submission to try to get this agent person to take her on with the tales of rabbit and teddy terror. The bunnies are practically bouncing off the walls with excitement, and if I mentioned what Betsy is doing, it would surely lead to jail time. Does anyone have suggestions for discouraging this agent quickly before the human can send in a submission? Oh, and she represents someone with a beekeeper mystery series too. I can see a total disaster there if she takes on books with Betsy.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Hiding Again

Sorry I didn't post last night, but I'm hiding again. The human was poking around, and she found a few additional names for that horrible, horrible tree, which of course led to even more names as she poked around, digging through stuff to find obituaries. Honestly, a tree of that size should be illegal, and if I had my way, it would be. I heard her muttering a bit ago about how she bets she can find a few more obituaries soon, so I suppose I ought to go back into hiding. Who knows where this will end?!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day Apologies

I would like to apologize to all of the poor innocent mothers out there, who's offspring tried to gift them with some sort of desert, only to find the box empty when they went to eat it. I told you that Betsy was in a snit yesterday, since the human gave away cake to someone besides her, so to make herself feel better, she crept around to every house she could find, and collected all of the Mother's Day deserts in sight. There are a ton of empty cake pans, boxes, lids and other assorted desert holding devices all over the back yard now. If you were missing something, please stop by tomorrow to remove the remains.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Betsy's Sulking

Betsy Bear is sulking, and needless to say, I'm trying to avoid her. That bear in a snit isn't safe at all. The human went out, to deliver some things to various houses for Mother's Day tomorrow, and needless to say, she returned smelling strongly of frosting. Betsy has her suspicious that cake was part of these deliveries, and her reaction to someone besides her getting cake isn't in the least bit funny. I wonder if I ought to hide under the bed now? She's sure to plan some crime soon, to make herself feel better, and I'd hate to be seen as an accomplice.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Cat Psychologist Needed

I need a cat psychologist right away, and no, this isn't for me. The human went out today, to poke at that horrible tree, and when she came back, she was all excited and eager to share with me how she met a cat at the archives. Apparently this feline lives there, and is hard at work researching their family tree, because the kitty races into the records room every time the door is left open. Have you ever heard of something so insane? Obviously, the cat needs serious mental help is the only thing that I can imagine.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Tail Shaking

The rabbits shook their tails too much, trying to get rain to encourage their gardening horrors, and managed to get the next writing convention they wanted to attend flooded out. Finally, all of that rain dancing has proved useful! Needless to say, the bunnies are ticked at this turn of events, and the human isn't took happy either, since she planned to double up, and research that awful tree of hers between talks at this convention. They're looking for another event to attend now. How much notice do you suppose the neighbors will need should they find something, and can I be blamed for not hiding the human's writing magazines, listing such frightening events?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I'm Home and Unfortunately so are my Siblings

Well, I'm home from jail, but unfortunately, so are all of my siblings, just full of ideas for promoting and selling those horror stories. And, in even worse news, at least for me, they have their paws full of brochures, and are looking suspiciously at me, and then at the brochures, and chattering with each other about how much fun it would be to lag me along to their next event. They're probably planning to make me accompany them to help pass out materials! What in the world am I going to do? They're looking for feline friendly hotels, and making suspicious comments about how they bet they could figure a way to pass me off as a teddy cat if necessary!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Updates from Hiding

I've been hiding for the past few days, so that I can't in any way, shape or form to blame for the antics of my siblings as they try to push their books. I very reluctantly checked my email a bit ago, and the frightening info awaiting me was so horrifying, I hesitate to share it. The rabbits are planning to attend another horrible book thing as soon as they possibly can, and they're talking about attaching seed packets to the business cards this time. I'm sure that will be a nightmare, and but the bunnies are sure that the humans will think it's a wonderful idea. She's kind of gullible, so I'm sure she'll go for it, too. As for Betsy, I try not to think of what she's done. Things to promote the books are bad enough, but I'm sure that bear has committed any number of crimes as well. There probably isn't any honey or porridge for miles around, thanks to that bear, and I'm sure she's mugged every other bear she can find for their honey too. Then there is the genealogy. That is so alarming I won't even try sharing. It would just keep you awake at night from fear.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Rabbit Update

I was a bit afraid to post yesterday, or check email, in case those horrible bunnies had sent me a message about the novel promotion horrors. I finally decided to risk it, though, and of course an email was awaiting me, detailing all of the hard work the bunnies have done, trying to promote their horrible work. One of the rabbits hopped about, taking notes of what goodies people were giving out, to try to figure out the best goodies to offer for their books. They have decided that seeds would be the best, either seeds, or possibly actual plants. And, of course, should they give these things away, that will mean that they will either have to obtain seeds for gifts, or they will have to grow more plants. Our poor, poor neighbors if they decide to grow plants. They will naturally toss extras in to keep for themselves, I am sure. The neighbors are doomed!