Wednesday, September 30, 2009

That is NOT a Flower!

The bunnies are sending a what the claim is a floral offering to the funeral of our human's uncle. Well, I would like to inform those rabbits that a PEPPER plant is not a flower, and those packets of flower and vegetable seeds that they poked in with the pot don't count for floral offerings either. And to make matters worse, they signed my name onto this package as well, along with forging the human's name. Could this horrible forgery get me taken as an accessory to gardening crimes?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Human News

The human had an uncle to die this morning, so my postings might bit erratic for a couple of days. I'm being threatened with the humans having a relative showing up for the funeral who claims an allergy to cats. Well, I am very sorry, but this is my home, and I was here first. I am not going to jail like I did when the last relative died. So I might be tied up defending my territory for a bit.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Teddies

I don't like the amount of snickering I'm hearing coming from those teddies, and I especially don't like the Google search I just found on people being deathly allergic to cats. The human sticking them into all of her books has gone so far to their little heads it isn't funny, and they're making up totally insane plots to whisper to her while she sleeps. I think they're planning to use me as a murderer in a book! Is there anything I can do to prevent this?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Senior Citizens

Can I be held accountable if I know of some poor, endangered senior citizens and fail to warn them of their fast approaching doom? I spotted Betsy Bear lurking on the human's bed whispering ideas about a story set at a senior citizens' center and of course the need to do research for such a story. Really, didn't those poor senior citizens suffer enough when Betsy raided their center during that giant yard sale? What will become of them if she convinces the human to write about them and thus to make lots of visits for research? They will be lucky to be left with a building by the time that bear is through with them.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Avoided The Country

Well, it seems that rain is useful for something after all. Due to our sudden upsurge in rainfall, I was able to dodge being drug to the country and thus ending up declared an accessory to Betsy Bear and the bunnies' planned crimes. Unfortunately, the human was very disappointed not to get to go up there to spend some time, and she's talking seriously about going up next weekend, and dragging me along. Do you think I can force those rabbits to do a few rain dances to stop her by threatening their carrot supply?

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Bamboo has Arrived

The Fedex package was delivered a few minutes ago, and horror of horrors, it contained four bamboo plants for the pandas! How can I warn the poor dogs next door about their upcoming doom? The pandas are planning to root the bamboo within the next day or so, and after that I'm sure it will be ready fast to be moved next door to take over those poor pups' dog house. And to make matters worse, the pandas and rabbits convinced the human that the bamboo must have been a gift from someone so she isn't even suspicious of the package having her name on it!

Rabbits are about to be Caught

Fedex was just by trying to deliver a package but the human missed them. Needless to say, she was curious because all of her book packages come by UPS or the postal service. I just know that package is full of seed for the bunnies! Oh, thank goodness, those little things are going to be finally caught for impersonating a human. I can't wait. They can't go to the door themselves, since no Fedex guy is going to accept a signature from a floppy eared, cotton tailed bunny, and the human is surely going to be curious about why she's getting a package in her name that she didn't order. Oh, they will be caught for sure, and won't be able to impersonate the human anymore! Finally, those bunnies will be back under control!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Penguin RSVPs

The penguins' guests have started sending in RSVPs for the upcoming party my penguin siblings have planned. I hope our poor, misfortunate mailman has insurance. Over 200 hundred penguins from Seaworld have replied and I don't even want to think of how many aquarium penguins are making plans to come. Friday and the weekend are big days for penguins, but they let my siblings know that security is light on Mondays, so they're aiming for then to head up here. If they escape on Monday before the places open, they might be here by lunch depending on the plane schedules! Oh, I am doomed! Do you think I have time to make a jail reservation to avoid this penguin disaster?

Groundhog Issues

The groundhogs just gave me some horrible news. It seems a large group of groundhogs live down where that Civil War thing took place last weekend, and so my groundhog siblings had the penguin chick drop off a few party invitations for them to be passed out while the human was poking at that awful tree. And in even worse news, these groundhogs live on a train line, so they can just hop a locomotive up here! One of them was spotted a few blocks away a couple of hours ago, and I'm sure he's a bad sign of further groundhogs to come.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Horrifying Clothing

I have found something so alarming I'm not sure I should share it and frighten people, but I suppose you all should be warned. There is some insane person, or perhaps bunnies impersonating people, producing rabbit clothing for humans!



Have you ever seen something so frightening in your life? Look at all of those rabbits on the fabric! They're sure to get you taken as an accessory to gardening, and the bunnies are planning to have the human get a pair as soon as possible and perhaps a matching shirt to go with it.

Also Need to Apologize

I also need to apologize for the antics of Lily Rabbit. Granted, she is just one rabbit, and really things could have been worse, but still what that bunny did was pretty awful. One of the poor neighbors up in the country actually dared to raise a garden this year. Poor dear. I think you can safely imagine what happened with a rabbit on the loose near this garden with no supervision. I expect the misfortune that befell Farmer Turley's tomato farm to make the nightly news and I don't even want to think of what happened with the cows. I just know that rabbit hopped down to their pasture to try to get them to hand over manure.

Today's Country Visit

I would like to offer my apologies to all of the poor people in the country, and especially to those poor lake bears. Betsy Bear went along with the humans when the went up there today, and I'm afraid the lack of supervision was awful! The humans even let that horrible bear stay in the cottage on her own while they popped out for supper. I think everyone here can pretty safely guess what happened. Our neighbors have still not learned their lesson about securing their boat, and naturally that horrible bear got her paws on it. I don't even want to think about the unguarded electric wheelchair she found and the uses she might have put that to.

The Poor Country

The country is doomed, is all that I can say. The humans went up to the country cottage today, and I'm afraid the human was terribly pleased with how well she can get around up there. She has been making much noise ever since she got back this afternoon about possibly going up there to stay for awhile since she enjoyed herself and being able to move easily so much. The poor, poor country. If the human goes up there, the bunnies are sure to hop along with her and even though she's able to move better up there, she's nowhere near able to properly supervise them. I don't even want to think about what Betsy Bear might do up there. I hope everyone in the country is insured is all that I can say.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Woodpecker

I'm happy to say that my woodpecker tenant arrived home this afternoon from his summer vacation, and thank goodness he has given me the perfect excuse not to be drug to the countryside with those teddies. I can't possibly go off and leave my tenant to fend for himself right after arriving home, now can I? What if his hole needs some sort of repairs or other work done immediately? No, I must stay here and make sure the woodpecker is happy. There's absolutely nothing else I can do, and those teddies will just have to go to the country without me.

Horrible News

I swear I have the worst luck of any feline around. You won't believe what has happened to me this time. As if it isn't bad enough that the human has stuck me in a series of books with the teddies, including Betsy Bear, resulting in numerous threats on their part involving projects to research books, well, now the rabbits got to her and have convinced her to give a gardening series a try as well. They've even offered to grow lots and lots of plants for her for book research purposes! Have you ever heard anything so horrible in your life? Those bunnies are going to fill the house with their plants and then they're going to conquer the neighborhood with wild garden growth, all claiming it's for the human's book. Really, doesn't she ever think these things through? I don't know what in the world I'm going to tell my poor cat mother.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Today's Seed Arrival

The rabbits got two more packs of seed today, this time peanuts, and I fear that more seeds will be arriving soon. Do you think I should leave out something for the mailman declaring these packages should be returned to the sender at once? So far the bunnies have got 37 things, and have one on the way that they are sure of, and I know they've ordered over 200 different things. And what in the world am I going to do when they start trying to sprout this stuff?

Golden Bamboo

Here's a page with info on the bamboo the bunnies agreed to order for the pandas. I'm not sure how to feel about this plant personally. Granted, the page mentions potential growth to 30 feet in height, but it seems to imply that the plants normally grow much less than that. So, do you think this could somehow be a safe bamboo? I swear, if it looks like it's heading for 30 feet, I will lock those pandas outside until they've eaten it down to a decent height!

Bamboo Update

The bunnies just received news that their bamboo is going to ship soon. My one comfort is that it's coming from Puerto Rico so perhaps it will take a bit to get here. I wonder if I should call those poor dogs next door to let them know they need to start packing their bones, tennis balls and leashes to move? The rabbits have their dog house marked down for the future location of the bamboo patch, I'm afraid.

Penguins Do Fly

It turns out I was wrong and penguins actually do fly. A couple of them even have enough frequent flier miles for a nice South American vacation. Oh, that's such a horrible sign I'm trying not to think of it too much. If they have the points to get to South America then surely they have enough points to get themselves and all of their little penguin friends up here for a party. They probably even have enough points to travel first class too, where they will have stewardesses to serve them drinks and fresh fish the entire way. What if they catch an early flight before Seaworld opens and their escape is noticed? They could be here by lunch!

More Seaworld Issues

That place should come with a warning sign. The polar bears were looking over the shoulders of the penguins, which is a bit hard seeing as they're so short and stubby and don't have much in the way of shoulders. Anyway, they found that Seaworld also has TWO polar bears making their home there. Needless to say, they're demanding the penguins get the email addresses of these polar bears too, so they can write and see if they're in need of quilts. What if they ask the polar bears up to help with fabric selection or wool gathering? Every sheep in the area is doomed!

Seaworld

The penguins just pulled up the website on Seaworld looking for penguin email addresses and this is the page that popped up on penguins. Why in the world are they allowed to show such frightening things were anyone can see them? I believe I counted at least twenty penguins in that one shot alone, and I'm sure that isn't all of their penguin hoard. Do you suppose the neighbors need to be warned about this?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

More Penguin Trouble

The penguins were doing a bit of checking and they found a horrible place down in Florida called Seaworld. I used to think it was probably okay based on the size of the buffet they offer but that was before I found that they have an entire exhibit area filled with PENGUINS! I'm afraid to look and see how big the exhibit is, because if it's anything like other exhibits down there, it's sure to be large and home to more penguins than I want to think of. I'm afraid my penguin siblings are checking to try to find the email addresses for the penguins who live down there now, so they can invite them up for a party. Does anyone know if Florida can hold me accountable for mass penguin escapes? My one comfort is that at least penguins can't fly, and will thus have to catch a bus up. That ought to delay them a little.

They're Back

The humans returned a bit ago and are planning my upcoming torture in the country now. I might get drug up there tomorrow. As for Betsy Bear, well, she was chuckling rather evilly when she came trotting in, and I know I heard alarming sounds of something large being stashed in the back yard. I just know she's got a purloined cannon back there. I can only hope that the cannon's former owners don't think to look back there for it. That penguin chick was chuckling too, which I'm sure isn't a good sign when it comes to other penguins and the planned party. That little thing had probably 100 invitations for the aquarium penguins and they were all distributed, it seems, which seems a terrible sign. I don't know what the mailman is going to think when he has to deliver all of those penguin RSVPs. And what will the aquarium do when all of their penguins take off to hang out here and party?

It Rained

It rained yesterday. I swear, I ought to file suit against that weatherman who just mentioned isolated showers, not downpours and flooding! The rain kept the human confined to the historical society and lead to more growth on that horrible tree than I want to think about. Also, all of that rain drastically reduced the amount of cannon security available, not that those people ever really bother with proper security measures anyway. I'm just glad that I have an alibi. I even made sure to pop into the window so the mailman could see me and vouch for my being here during the time when that cannon was snitched.

Penguin Chick

The penguin chick escaped. I was supervising the big penguins yesterday to make sure they didn't take off with the humans, and somehow that little chick slipped past me. The little thing is down at the hotel lounging on the bed now, and I'm sure plotting to deliver party invitations to all of that poor aquarium's penguins. Do you know, they actually have the nerve to feature pictures of penguins on their brochures? I'm sure that's a bad sign about how many of the horrible things live there and are about to be invited up here for partying purposes.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Battle Today

The humans took off to that horrible battle a bit ago. I hope all of the poor, misfortunate people who happen to make their home in Georgia had enough time to flee. Betsy seems very sure of capturing that cannon, and I don't want to think of what the rabbits are up to down there. Six of them hopped along and I didn't like the size of the sacks they amused themselves carrying. As for me, I managed to convince the humans to let me stay at home so at least I won't be charged as an accessory to cannon theft or whatever antics the bunnies are plotting.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Tomorrow's Planned Disaster

I urge anyone who lives in the state of Georgia to flee for their lives tomorrow because I suspect Betsy Bear will have custody of a cannon by mid-day tomorrow. I'm afraid she's studied the battlefield arrangements extensively, and I shudder to think what this education will do for her when it comes to cannon capture capability. The rabbits are making plans to go to this event as well, and I don't even want to think about why. There's a seed bank somewhere down there and I suspect their aim is capture it, though. I hope that poor, poor state is insured.

Escape Foiled

I tried to make a run for it this afternoon to avoid being captured and drug to that Civil War thing tomorrow. The human was rolling out the door, and had paused to check the mail. I almost made it, but she snagged me and yelled for help so I could be drug back inside. Can I punish her for that? I was going to go down and hide out at my cat mother's house. I'm sure the bunnies and Betsy Bear wouldn't have thought to check there for me. As it is, they're keeping a careful watch to make sure I can't try fleeing again. I shudder to think of what tomorrow will be like.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Even More Bad News

If you live in the country, well, I would urge you to flee at once but honestly, it probably won't do you much good. We're scheduled to visit there next week, and the rabbits are already packing sacks and stuff for vegetable gathering. And to make things even worse, our poor cousins the Farmers Turley, had a relative to die. The bunnies have been busily checking the obituary listing to work out when the best time will be to find those poor farmers off at a funeral so they can drop in on their crops for lunch. They will come home to find they have been picked clean. As for what Betsy Bear has planned for the country, well, it's too frightening to mention in a blog where small children could see is all that I can say.

More Disasters

I must have the worst luck of any cat around, and I'm not even a black cat. The human has found someplace online that offers a ton of the obituaries that she needs for that terrible, terrible family tree. Granted, she could get the same things through microfilm, but if she gets them online it's instant and she can grow that nightmarish tree much faster. What in the world am I going to do if she decides to give this service a try? Really, she was already crippled while tending that tree so she should realize that this genealogy is so unsafe it isn't funny.

Alarming Package

The rabbits got a rather frightening package in the mail today. Okay, technically it was addressed to the human, but that was only because those bunnies have amused themselves impersonating her yet again. Really, don't these places bother to check for long, floppy ears and cotton tails anymore? The rabbits got 34 packs full of free seed in their little box, and I am very concerned about how many of those packs mention cucumber, pumpkin or squash on the wrapper. How alarmed do you suppose our poor neigbors should be about these seeds? And the bunnies still have more seed orders out there too.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Penguin Disaster Planned

I was just checking those maps Betsy Bear was looking at, and I realized that this weekend is going to be a bigger disaster than I imagined. This Civil War place is suspiciously close to the place where some of the penguins' relatives are living and to make matters worse, I think the human's planning to go right by their home while doing research on that awful relative of hers whose letters she's planning to publish. The penguins have been waddling around with paper, pens and stickers, and I have a horrible feeling they're using them to construct invitations to a pool party to be distributed to all of their relations! Does anyone know if the aquarium can hold me in any way accountable for this upcoming penguin escape? Goodness knows those places just love blaming cats for every other crime that might happen around there. They loose one little fish and automatically they find the nearest feline to accuse of eating it. I don't want to think of the accusations that will be flying when their penguins escape for a party.

Civil War

How bad a sign do you suppose it is that I caught Betsy Bear reading a book all about the Civil War, and more specifically about the battle the human is hoping to attend this weekend? I don't like the way she keeps checking out the maps of the actual arrangement of the battlefield either. Really, what was the author of the book thinking by putting those things in there? I'm sure Betsy is planning to capture a cannon, and those maps will just make it easier to work out her escape route with the cannon of her choice. Those things are never properly guarded.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

This Weekend's Upcoming Doom

The human is still hard at work making plans to attend that Civil War reenactment, and I'm getting more concerned by the moment! I just know I'm going to be caught and drug along to that horrible event. She's got a book she's close to having published of some of her uncle's letters from that war and place, that's she's hoping to find potential buyers for, so she's claiming the trip should count as a business venture. A business venture sounds like a lot of work to this little kitty, and I just don't like the idea of being anywhere where there are cannons and Betsy Bear in the same zip code! Isn't it bad enough all of the trouble she caused at the tomato festival with those cannons?

More Seeds

The rabbits got more seed today and I'm alarmed to see how many of them were zucchini. The human was at the store, and she picked up a little present for the bunnies because she claims they've been such good rabbits. I knew letting those bunnies lounge on her bed were a bad idea. They're probably whispering in her ear as she sleeps, telling her to purchase seeds for them! Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to handle them? They're really getting in the way of my internet usage too.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Wheelchair

I'm so doomed it isn't funny. The human finally got fed up and is now using her wheelchair in the house. Who can I hold accountable for this when my poor tail is ran over by that awful piece of equipment? I don't like her having such easy access to that chair either. I just know the bunnies are going to take advantage and offer to push her in it down to the bus stop so they can all go out somewhere alarming. Can the bus company be alerted to deny those rabbits access to the bus? I shudder to think how many of them could get onto the bus for one fare if they could lounge in the human's chair with her.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Blackberries and Raspberries

I swear, every time I check the rabbits' seed orders I find even more alarming things. The thirty mint plants of various species were bad enough but now I just found that they've ordered blackberry and raspberry seeds, 25 seeds each for at least three different kinds apiece! That should equal 75 plants of each kind if all goes according to the bunnies' plans, and to make matters worse, in order to make sure the plants are ready to go out into the garden in the spring, they're planning to start them indoors and let them live in here all winter in little pots! How am I supposed to dodge 150 pots for six months?

Bamboo Order

I just checked the orders the bunnies have placed, and how bad do you think it is that I found that they have amused themselves ordering bamboo? On the upside, I suppose if the pandas have bamboo to eat here, it will keep them from raiding the patch belonging to the people down the street, but still, I don't like the size that bamboo can grow to, and I'm sure the pandas can't be trusted to keep it eaten down to a decent size. Does anyone know how to best control such a thing? I just hope they didn't order the 30 foot kind of bamboo.

Poor Neighbors

The poor neighbors were out working in their yard today. I lounged around watching the poor things for a bit, but I couldn't figure out how to break it to them that all of their work is futile. The bunnies are planning to post on freecycle looking for pots to hold their plants and they're making out a work schedule for putting together supports to hold both hoophouses and hanging plants for next season. I shudder to think of how large the garden is going to be by the time that the rabbits get through with their designing. Do you think the neighbors wil take it the wrong way to find a sign hanging up on their house marking it for future garden use?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Garden Planning

The rabbits are starting to draw up alarming gardening plans for next year, and I fear terribly for our poor, poor neighbors. The bunnies have taken another look at their current seed supplies along with the seed they've ordered, and I'm afraid they've decided they need tons more space. They're hopping about trying to sign me up for the work detail to completely take over the upper lot near the home of those poor dogs next door, and then they're wanting assistance in building supports to hang plants from. They think that it will really open up space if they can elevate their plants and have some growing above and going down while others grow below. I shudder to think of what might happen if this is successful.

Cabbage in the Mail

The first of the bunnies seed orders arrived today, a package of drumhead white cabbage containing 200 seeds. The rabbits are debating right now if they should try to plant it in the garden now, or if they ought to arrange the purchase of dirt and a long pot so they can lag it inside to grow this winter. Has anyone heard any bad things about possible invasive traits of this cabbage? I don't like how fast it arrived either. That's sure to be a bad sign if the rest of their stuff shows up as quickly.

Friday, September 11, 2009

One Potentially Good Seed

At least the rabbits ordered one potentially good seed. They placed an order for a pack of cotton seed, which I have high hopes of using to fool those polar bears into believing wool now grows on bushes. I'm wondering if I should go ahead and start the cotton indoors when it gets here. I'm sure the poor sheep don't want to spend the fall worrying about having their wool snitched by polar bears, and if they were occupied indoors tending a plant, the sheep might be safe.

Mammoth

The rabbits have ordered something called King of the Mammoths pumpkin seeds. How worried do you think I should be? I can only assume based on its name that this is a large type of pumpkin which sounds like a dangerous vegetable to have in the paws of the bunnies. And to make matters worse, they're expecting 50 seeds of this thing, which doesn't seem to bode well as far as the number of potential pumpkins that could result. Do you think I need to take some sort of action about this?

Rabbit Hopped Out

One of the bunnies, Pawlette Bunny, hopped into the car and stowed away with the human today while she went to physical therapy. What makes this worrisome is the fact that the human's therapy place has a swimming pool. The rabbit was in her swimming suit, and I'm sure she amused herself diving into the water while the human was being worked on. Does anyone know how I can keep these bunnies from sneaking off for extra dips? I believe that there is a charge to use the pool and I don't want to get a bill for bunny swimming in a few weeks.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Zucchini and the Fair

The bunnies lagged that zucchini over to the fair this evening, and you won't believe the horror that they heard of. There is a rumor going around that a 400 pound zucchini has been submitted! On the up side, that does mean the rabbits won't get cash to go towards more seeds, but on the down side, they're now planning to hop over for sure to find out how such a big zucchini was produced so they can grow one themselves next year. Really, what is that fair thinking? And even worse, they have their garden selections right next to the judging area for the rabbit beauty contests too! Bunnies will be able to hop over when they're not showing off ear length or cotton like tail appearance on stage! My rabbit siblings are thinking of visiting the beauty show to meet other bunnies and to get a group together to tour the produce displays for ideas!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Zucchini This Evening

The rabbits harvested a zucchini this evening to lag over to the fair tomorrow. It is quite large to say the least, so they ought to have a good shot at winning the prize for biggest zucchini. Of course, the down side of this is that if they get their paws on 100 dollars, they will surely want to spend it on dirt and pots and seeds for more growing. Do you think I should alert the stores not to sell to those bunnies if they come hopping in with large bills?

Mint Plants

The seed suppliers are insane is the only thing that I can think of. They actually are offering so many different varieties of free mint that it isn't funny, and of course the bunnies have ordered every variety they can get their paws on. Our poor, poor misfortunate neighbors. I'm sure they didn't want to help to educate bunnies through the loss of their homes. Does insurance generally cover such horrible things if they happen in the process of a batch of rabbits trying to gain a higher gardening education?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

New Seed

The rabbits have just found some insane place that is giving away seed for educational purposes. Our poor, poor neighbors. I'm sure they didn't want to become homeless in order to help to educate bunnies on gardening. Is there anything that I can do to save them? I really don't like the size of the order placed by the rabbits, and I especially don't like the number of different cucumbers, squash and other vining things that they have requested.

More Relatives

I hold the school totally to blame for the latest disaster and they should be so ashamed of themselves for this, it isn't funny. The human went over there today and helped herself to a stack of free obituaries! She's found the names of more relatives than I want to think about, and would you believe one of them has the utter nerve to have the last name of Flemister? I shudder to think of how easy it will be to find information on that branch. Do you think I should get out signs to hang up, warning of the hazards of that horrible tree? It's really growing to unsafe heights.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Another Relative Issue

I don't know why I can't find out how to file these complaints somewhere online as I'm sure that I'm not the only one who has these problems. I need to file another complaint against a relative who had the nerve to die last week, and even worse, had the terrible nerve to have the name, Swan! Do you know how easy that first name is to find online, and will surely lead the human to adding more limbs to that awful tree. I'm trying not to think about the issue of him having three wives too. I just know that will create problems and more orders for microfilm.

Book Issues

I am doomed, is all that I can say, and I totally hold the human responsible for this. Those teddies are getting much too excited about the notion of being in books, and are now claiming that I must spend all of my time with them for research purposes. They're planning to attend a Civil War reenactment in a couple of weeks, and now they're saying I must go with them! Help! I know all too well the dangers of such an event with unguarded cannons and Betsy Bear on the loose. If I'm drug along, I will end up caught by the authorities for sure as an accessory to her crimes. How do I get out of this? The other teddies are already looking at how to best pack my cat bed!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

More Seed!

The rabbits obtained 25 more packets of seed today, and frankly, I'm a bit afraid to look at it and see what all they have. And to make matters even worse, the HUMAN was the one who purchased this seed for them, because she said they had been such good, sweet bunnies lately! Have you ever heard of something so insane? Do you think I should report the human to someone for this? I know those bunnies got at least two packs of butternut squash and two of cucumbers.

The Asian Supermarket

How can I go about filing a complaint against our local Asian supermarket? That horrible, horrible store has the nerve to be filled with odd produce the rabbits are wanting to gather for seeding purposes, and even worse, they have the nerve to be right on a bus line next to a book store the human is fond of. The bunnies have offered to push the human in her chair down to the bus stop so they can all go shopping together, and I'm very concerned that she's thinking of taking them up on their offer! Should I call the bus line and warn them not to let any rabbits on?

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Human's Recent Book Purchases

I'm getting a bit concerned. I just checked the Amazon order history to make sure those rabbits hadn't hopped on to order alarming amounts of gardening books and I found some rather frightening purchases of the human's of books such as Writing and Selling Your Mystery Novel and First Draft in 30 Days. I think she's planning to use the broken ankle to give her time to actually work on putting together one of her more alarming ideas, a mystery series starring those bears! And even worse, I've heard rumblings that I am going to be forced to be in this series too, which will undoubtedly result in a nightmare of teddy exposure! Who do I call to complain about this? Josie Rabbit has already invited me to another tea party in the name of research and I'm sure Betsy Bear is going to have me participating in crimes.

Yard Sale

The humans are having a yard sale today. First off, I do not see any yard actually being sold, which would be a good thing if it was, since it would limit rabbit growing space. Secondly, didn't the humans learn about the danger of yard sales in the same area as Betsy Bear after what she did at that giant yard sale they went to last month? That bear has been lurking about and raiding the customers' undefended automobiles for snacks! I'm sure some poor cat will be blamed for the missing goodies too. At least I'm safely inside with an alibi.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Foolish Humans

Just when I think humans can't get nuttier, a batch proves me wrong. Some humans here have started a message thread about sheep and sheep ownership! Really, why doesn't the funny farm do more to round up such obviously deranged people? Posting about sheep and letting people know your location and the location of these sheep is so nutty that it should have netted them a padded cell easily. Not to mention talking about how nice the sheep's wool is. That's so insane I can't even put it into words. There are polar bears reading this and making notes of the locations of those poor, defenseless sheep who have the misfortune to live with such insane humans! Those poor, poor sheep. Can they file suit against the nutty humans for endangering them by making their location known to polar bears or could the humans get off on an insanity plea?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Indoor Plants

The rabbits are wanting to move some plants indoors to live for the winter, along with starting things in here for indoor gardening. And besides the plant exposure, did you know that they're talking about lighting issues, and possibly keeping a light on for any inside plants twenty-four hours a day? How is a kitty supposed to sleep with a light on all the time serving those rabbits' plants? And they're talking about setting up gardening right by my cat bed too, in order to maximize light annoyance potential!

Microfilm

The human has in a request for over 100 rolls of microfilm in her quest to make that awful tree even bigger. And, to makes things worse, the school has a microfilm reader with an automatic roller, so she won't even have to crank! With cranking out, she's sure she'll be able to fly through those horrible rolls of film in no time to find obituaries galore. Really, this horrible school should be so ashamed! And while she's fussing with that tree, she's not supervising the rabbits, leaving me in charge of them!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Human

I'm very sorry if my posts here get a bit erratic. The human got put into some sort of monstrous thing that's supposed to be a boot today, although it looks like no sane footware I've ever seen. Anyway, she can only access the computer from one position now, and it's a position I can't get to it from. Really, what was the bunny who hopped along with her thinking, letting her get poked into something so inconvenient? It will serve that rabbit right if their seed hunting is inconvenienced too!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Groundhogs Again

I don't know what in the world the groundhogs are putting on the invitations they're sending out to all of their little groundhog friends, but all I can say is that it is obviously not a map. I just found a post in another blog about a groundhog popping up in someone's garden, obviously one of my groundhog siblings' lost party guests. Granted, the house does have a pool beside the garden just like ours, so perhaps this groundhog has more reason than others to get confused, but still, he's totally off course, in a state hundreds of miles away. And you would think the lack of plates and forks by the garden would have clued him in, wouldn't you? I emailed the poor human that is stuck with him and told her to pop him onto the bus down here as soon as possible. I just hope he doesn't con her into hiring a taxi.