Apologies to the Country

I would like to offer my apologies to the country for what you suffered on Monday, but really, you must admit that you brought some of it on yourselves, living there, and not investing in bear and rabbit protection. The human went up to the country cottage on Monday, and of course Betsy trotted along with her, and a couple of my bunny sisters hopped along as well. I don't want to know what the bunnies did, but they came home looking much plumper than they were when they left, and there was much talk of butternut, tomatoes, and how badly our relation, poor Farmer Turley, really needed his fields of crops. As for Betsy, the less I say about her, the better. I just know she got her paws on our neighbor's poorly guarded plane, and is plotting something with it. And to make the disaster complete, there is now talk about going back for a few days, and my accompanying the humans on this trip! I will be taken as an accomplice for sure!

The Country

The human went to the country today, and took that delinquent Betsy with her, along with a bunny. I don't even want to imagine what trouble they might have managed to get into, because goodness knows, the human can't be trusted to supervise them. The poor country. I do hope they have lots of insurance up there. Their only hope is that some relation of poor Farmer Turley is running for sheriff. I just hope he is doing in on a strong bear and rabbit control platform.

Human Plans

I wonder if I could hide with my cat mother this weekend? I'm afraid the human is making rather alarming plans that I don't want to be associated with in any way, shape or form. She's been talking about visiting the country more than I like, saying how peaceful it is and how she could get so much writing done. Really, what is she thinking? Think of how many crimes Betsy Bear could commit, and does poor Farmer Turley really need a visit from the rabbits? She's been saying that I really ought to go to the country with them, too, which makes me think she's planning to mark me down for bear and bunny supervision duty. I think I must pop out to my mother's house tomorrow to be on the safe side.

Also Need to Apologize

I also need to apologize for the antics of Lily Rabbit. Granted, she is just one rabbit, and really things could have been worse, but still what that bunny did was pretty awful. One of the poor neighbors up in the country actually dared to raise a garden this year. Poor dear. I think you can safely imagine what happened with a rabbit on the loose near this garden with no supervision. I expect the misfortune that befell Farmer Turley's tomato farm to make the nightly news and I don't even want to think of what happened with the cows. I just know that rabbit hopped down to their pasture to try to get them to hand over manure.

Even More Bad News

If you live in the country, well, I would urge you to flee at once but honestly, it probably won't do you much good. We're scheduled to visit there next week, and the rabbits are already packing sacks and stuff for vegetable gathering. And to make things even worse, our poor cousins the Farmers Turley, had a relative to die. The bunnies have been busily checking the obituary listing to work out when the best time will be to find those poor farmers off at a funeral so they can drop in on their crops for lunch. They will come home to find they have been picked clean. As for what Betsy Bear has planned for the country, well, it's too frightening to mention in a blog where small children could see is all that I can say.

The Country on Friday?

I'm afraid I heard comments on a possible trip to the country this Friday. I wonder if two days' warning is enough for me to find a place to hide and thus dodge this? Even though their thoughts are kind of focused on fairs and blue ribbons, I'm sure the bunnies would manage to slip away for a bit to try gathering stuff for seeding purposes and next year's garden. I'm surprised poor Farmer Turley hasn't given up farming already with my rabbit siblings hopping to visit him whenever they can. And I shudder to think what might happen if that nutty neighbor up there has his airplane completed. Betsy will snitch it for sure!

Tomato Festival Today

The tomato festival should be ASHAMED! They let my delinquent rabbit siblings actually obtain produce this afternoon! The bunnies came hopping back with alarmingly large Mr. Stripey, Cherokee Purple and Pink Tomatoes, along with a large amount of turkey beans and a habenaro pepper. I shudder to think of how many seeds they will get out of their purchases, which is just why they purchased them. Really, does the country have to assist the bunnies in their delinquency? Or maybe it's a plot to keep them here and safely out of the hair of the poor Farmers Turley?

The Country

If anyone here prays, please pray that the lawnmower isn't repaired by tomorrow afternoon. If it is, there are rumors the humans might head to the country cottage, and I will surely be caught and drug along. It's in the heart of tomato country up there, and I shudder to think of what the bunnies would get into. Our poor cousins, the two farmers Turley, are still having nightmares about the last visit the rabbits made, I believe. And I won't even speak of the havoc Betsy wrecked with those poor, misfortunate lake bears, and the former, happy picnickers who were the victims of pirate raids.

I Have Never Been So Embarrassed

I have never been so embarrassed in my little kitty life. The bunnies split up today. A batch of them stayed here to supervise their seed, while they sent Polly Bunny to scout out the country cottage and our poor cousin Farmer Turley's tomato farm. There are the nicest herd of cows who live just down the road, perfect for placing orders for milk with. You won't believe what that bunny did, though! She stopped by and asked them about their manure, and if they were producing plenty and it's possible nutritional content for gardening purposes! I am never going to be able to show my face again with those cows after what that bunny asked them!

Of course, Betsy ran wild too. The poor picnickers were out in full force since it was such a nice day, happily enjoying lunches and boating on the lake. At least they were until that bear popped up. Poor picnickers. Not a sandwich was left, and I shudder to think what happened to all of those poor boaters she got. Really, our neighbors should be so ashamed of their failures as boat owners, leaving their boat unguarded for that bear to take off in the second the humans turn their back! And to make matters worse, they're thinking of going back to the country tomorrow, which means I still might be caught and drug up there!

The Weekend

Well, I'm in trouble no matter what I do this weekend, unless I work out a way to book myself a jail cell. I believe I spotted those rabbits sneaking out this morning while the human was still snoozing, and I have a bad feeling about the library book display. Can prints be lifted from bunny paw marks, do you think? I saw someone had visited a page online all about rappelling earlier, so I think the bunnies learned the best way to lower the baby rabbits down the book deposit chute to retrieve the display books. I'm anticipating much exploding and loudness from the librarians when they find the damage, so it would be nice to be safely away. The only problem is, that if I go to the country cottage, Betsy Bear has several crimes planned. There's a picnic area just down from it, and like that cousin of hers, I'm sure she's planning to collect all of those baskets, as if what she got from the poor Easter Bunny wasn't bad enough. Not to mention, our poor cousin, Farmer Turley. The bunnies treated his farm as a salad bar last year so goodness knows what he will do if he hears of them hopping his way. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can book a jail cell on short notice?