More and More Nightmarish Tree News

I am a nice cat. I don't know why I must continue to be punished like this. I really don't. I think I'll have to move under the table. Surely I will be safe from nuts falling off the tree under there. Now Cousin Sandra has died, and left an obituary with information the human can use to CALL her survivors! And, oh horrors, Cousin Edward is dead as well, and now Cousin Audrey too. What are these people thinking, having the nerve to die, and then having the nerve to place an obituary in the newspaper? It would serve them right if a nut fell of the tree and smashed their tombstone!