Call the Police!

Horrors, horrors, horrors! Someone call the authorities at once! Oh, you won't believe this, and someone should be arrested for this right away! The human was poking a bit a the family tree in preparation for a possible archive trip next week and you won't believe what she found. Cousin Irene is DEAD! She is dead and she left an obituary detailing the names and information on her THIRTEEN children! Thirteen of them, and then her daughter, Cousin Patti, had the nerve to die too, and leave an obituary as well! The tree shot up several feet upon the human discovering this information! Doomed! We're doomed!