Penguin Issues

The penguins sent an email to their penguin friends in Florida today, wanting to see when they can come up for another gathering, only to hear back from the penguins that they are booked up for the next few weeks, attending weddings. Apparently some humans, humans I can assume are friendless, since they handed out wedding invitations to random birds, decided to invite them to their wedding. And not one but several humans did this! Have you ever heard of such foolishness? And, of course, now my penguin siblings are all fired up. They got the idea that they ought to attend weddings too, and are now composing an ad advertising the virtues of penguins, and offering themselves as attendants for weddings, siting their already tailor-made suits and tails and the classic timelessness of their black and white color scheme. They've even offered up their chicks for morning weddings, claiming with their grey feathers they're a perfect touch, and they're much better behaved than any human child. What in the world am I going to do if someone hires them? I know they won't share their fish pay with me!