The Lake or the River

I wonder if I should call the television station to issue a warning about pending pirate attacks? The humans are considering going to either the country or to this place rather near a river this weekend. Either way, Betsy has horrible crimes planned as soon as she can get near water and a boat. In a way, I hope they go to the lake, even though the neighbors up there never watch their boat and Betsy has caused so much trouble there it's not funny. Some of my penguin siblings have relatives who live at this aquarium place down by the river, and I shudder to think what would happen if there was an impromptu penguin family reunion. And they would probably all want to waddle up here too, to continue partying. I'm sure the neighbors would never approve of penguins loitering in the pool all day. And I hate to think of all of the wet prints they would track into the house.