The Country's Approaching Doom

Betsy has her snitching sacks all ready to visit that festival in honor of the tomato tomorrow, and I shudder to imagine what will happen once she gets her paws on that cannon they're going to have up there. Really, those people are so impossibly careless with their weapons, and would you believe they give demonstrations on the use of firearms? They don't even bother to make sure Betsy isn't in the area before giving these lessons! Have you ever heard of something so foolish? You don't want to know how many shots she can get off with one of the rifles in a minute now, thanks to those lessons. They should be ashamed, and goodness knows what other horrible knowledge she'll pick up tomorrow.