Lobster Report

Lobster's red color is persisting, as is my exposure to her horrible lack of proper fur. She has bottles and sprays of stuff she is covering herself in, in an attempt to return to her normal coloration, and they require time to dry after application, before clothing can be put on. Very, very annoying. And I have just heard something even more annoying. The human is talking of going uptown tomorrow, to a place alarmingly close to that horrible, horrible genealogy archive. I sense growth of that nightmarish tree in the future. Really, what is she thinking, letting a tree reach such a height? Haven't we had enough issues with trees falling around her lately due to lack of pruning?

Sue Arizona

I must find a lawyer right away to sue the state of Arizona. It seems like everyone else is suing them, after all, but I'm sure that all of those humans don't have nearly as good of a case as I do. Would you believe that foolish state has posted death certificates online? And, of course, the human had a relation who managed to die in Arizona, which means she trotted over to the free site right away to download his death certificate and to collect all the information that she could. Really, that state should be ashamed of itself, and if those feline lawyers that I know ever get finished taking the national parks to court, I know I will be due a large settlement!