I'm Not Here!

If any rabbits come hopping on here, looking for me, I am not here, and have possibly gone to visit relatives in Toledo. Or Boise. Or anywhere, really, but I am definitely not in the area. The bunnies obtained replacement glue sticks today. Would you believe that some foolish store actually sold them two sticks? So, they're all ready to start assembling those seed envelopes, and I know I saw one of them with my leash, to keep me in place in the assembly line! I hear hopping! Got to go and just remember, if the bunnies ask, I'm not here!

Today's Horror Report

The reunion and family tree horrors haven't reared their heads yet today, probably because the human got occupied with a bit of writing. I wonder if I could keep her occupied with that, as a way to save myself from various goodie chores the bunnies are planning to assign me. The only bad thing would be that sooner or later she would likely end up working on the rabbit novels, which will lead to gardening encouragement. Hmmmmm. Gardening encouragement would keep the rabbits outside, though, now wouldn't it? And if they were outside, they certainly couldn't be making me work. Perhaps I need to rethink my position on their garden after all. I'm sure the neighbors can find another place to live.

And Still More Relations

As if the cousins that the human just found and messaged on Facebook aren't bad enough, she just found another relation in the census as well. Really, Cousin Lucy ought to be ashamed of herself, letting herself, and her married name be found so easily. The human is sure that finding this one will lead to finding the rest of this horrible relation's siblings as well, and there are probably ten of those. My only comfort at the moment is that thank goodness, the census taker managed to spell Cousin Lucy's married name a different way on each census, which is making Googling her name much more difficult.

Facebook Issues

The human has done it again. She tracked down another batch of relatives on Facebook and sent a friend request. And this batch is very closely related too. Just my luck. I'm sure that once the human connects with them, a reunion invitation will be issued! And a reunion invitation will result in more goodie bags being needed! And more seed favors needing to be assembled! I will be working forever! Is there some way to block Facebook while there is still time?

Hehehe!

The rabbits started cutting out the squares for the little seed envelope favors this afternoon. They were just about to get out my leash, to make sure I would stay in my assigned place on the assembly line, when one of the bunnies called to the others that the glue sticks were missing. They've hopped all over the house, but the glue is totally gone. Isn't that such a shame? Hehehehehe!!! And they will never prove that I had anything to do with its disappearance, either.

Map Horror

I have some horror involving maps that I ought to report too. The human is planning on passing out a map of the family cemetery locations in the goodie bags, in case they go visiting the graveyards as part of the festivities. She wants to make sure that people won't get lost if they end up separated somehow. Anyway, she has pre-printed maps, and now she's planning to add little numbered stars representing cemeteries to customize the maps. And, of course, the bunnies offered to help. And, of course, like always, they have plans to draft me into this. Josie Rabbit just hopped in, and informed me that I have been assigned the number 5, which means I will be stuck forever between two rabbits, being forced to stick a star with a number on a map, while the bunnies insist I stick faster to keep the line moving!

Yes, the Stuff of Nightmares

Yes, the stuff of nightmares was deeper in the bags from Walmart, and I'm afraid I was just forced to see it, when the bunnies hopped in, and dug it out. They now have another pack of carrot seed in their paws! This is something called the chantenay carrot, only seven inches long, but with a rather alarming looking point. Why aren't there rules out there, governing the purchase of carrot seed, to prevent this sort of thing, such dangerous vegetables falling into the paws of rabbits?

More and More Horrors

The horrors keep coming, and really, there must be some way to hold Walmart accountable for all of this. I don't care if one of the human's relations has large amounts of stock in their business! That doesn't mean that they have to do so much to encourage that horrible reunion! The human dropped by there today, and came back with four large bags full of stuff for the goodie bags. I hate to think of the amount of candy that she obtained, along with two different kinds of stickers and something called nail decals. I'm sure there was more stuff, but I was afraid to poke any further into the bags to see just what. I'm sure that there were further items in there, that are worthy of nightmares!

Nametag Assignment

I was right. My name is down on that list, to work on the assembly line for the nametags. I waited until the rabbits hopped off for a few moments, to check the crayon supplies, and took a look at their little list. I'm down there, as a dotter, which is basically the same thing as a colorer. I'll be expected to apply the dots of color, to identify which branch of the family tree each person who is getting a nametag belongs to! That means I'll actually be expected to consult that genealogy and hunt down each relation before putting the color on the tag! I'll have nightmares for weeks over this!

More Work Planned

Every time I turn around, it seems like some other horror rears its head. I just checked the human's Amazon browsing history, and found that she has been looking at nametag kits, to lag to the reunion. Normally, I wouldn't have worried about this, since hopefully the things would be constructed on the computer, and wouldn't involve work for me, but then I found the bunnies working on another list! Apparently, the human is wanting to do something with the badges, using different colors to identify people from different branches of that horrible tree at the family reunion, which means that assembling the awful things by hand is called for! The bunnies are hard at work, designing a color code, and figuring out who will be doing what on the nametag assembly line. I fear that my name is on that list somewhere as a colorer, or possibly a cord inserter!

Carrot Seed

The rabbits have obtained a rather alarming pack of carrot seed. This seed is for a frightening looking carrot called Tendersweet, ten inches long, with a rather strong looking point at the end, just perfect, in the opinion of the bunnies, for poking me to make me work faster on various tasks related to that reunion or book assembly. Really, Walmart, the store that provided the seed, ought to be ashamed, although I doubt they are, seeing as a relative is involved in that horrible business!

More and More Horror

It's getting worse. Weren't the books bad enough? Apparently they weren't, though, because the human is happily arranging more horror. Now she is wanting to make these cardboard stand-up figures of various ancestors, to lag to the reunion for photo opportunities. She can get a very good deal, if they can do the figures in black and white at Kinkos, which means that she will be able to make multiple ones. The only problem is that Kinkos means that the figures will come with some assembly required, and who do you think will be doing the assembling?

More Horror on the Way

I can't believe this. I thought that the two reunion books that the human obtained from Amazon was the worst of the horror. I thought once those frightening things arrived, it would be over. But oh, no! I was checking her Amazon history, to make sure the human hadn't taken to obtaining goodies for bag stuffing there too, and you won't believe what I found! She's ordered a third reunion book! It's probably already in the mail, and she has high hopes it will be here before the weekend! My weekend is ruint! Does anyone know how I can obtain mailman repellent fast?

Horror is Here

The horror is here, I'm very sorry to say. Both of those family reunion books have arrived, and the human is thrilled with them, which I'm sure is a terrible sign. One of them even has a section on the horrors of the goodie bag, which will surely give her bad ideas, and will lead to a ton of stuffing work for me. Really, what were the authors of these books thinking, writing something so frightening, and then actually selling copies to my human?

Tombstones

My day keeps getting worse, although I'm not sure how that happened, what with the seed horrors I'm already facing. The day has somehow deteriorated, though, because I just heard the human eagerly chattering about tombstones, and obtaining replacement tombstones to honor some of her relations who fought in the Civil War. I can only assume, seeing as these relations are on that nutty family tree of hers, that these people were the ones who amused themselves letting multiple weapons fall into the paws on Betsy's ancestors, back during that war, leading to the Great Honey Theft of 1864. The human seems enthused about this idea of new tombstones, though, and I sense the potential for disaster. If she can get them, she's talking about a ceremony during the family reunion! That will surely lure in multiple, unexpected branches of that horrible tree! And that, in turn, will lead to the need for more goodie bags, and more work for me!

Seed Assemby List

The bunnies left their list for who is to do what on the seed envelope assembly line unguarded, while they were working on their list for the seed that they want to include in the goodie bags, so I checked it out, and just as I feared, they have my name down, to handle folding duties, once a rabbit has cut out the squares, and before a bunny pastes down the edges, and another rabbit dumps in a scoop of seed. They even drew a little picture of me, right by my name, I suppose in case any outside bunnies want to hop by to assist in my torture. What in the world am I going to do? They're talking about getting several more boxes of seed, and goodness knows how many bags, that will result in nightmarish amounts of envelopes that will have to be folded!

March Starting Off Worse

If the way it is starting is an indication, I probably ought to see who I need to talk to, to get March canceled now. The rabbits have obtained two giant boxes of seed for the assembling of seed favors. And even worse, they have obtained a giant roll of craft paper, from which they intend to cut out squares to make the little seed holders! They're going to construct seed containers by hand! And you know that they aren't going to be content to do all of the work themselves, either. They're going to try to draft me into assisting them with this job. My name is probably already on a list somewhere, possibly as a folder, or a paster.

Flood Update

The floodwaters are slowly receding, after the disaster the bunnies caused this afternoon, and so far it looks like our poor neighbors still have a home. Some people down the street are missing a large amount of bamboo that was growing in their yard, though. I can only hope that they continue to believe that the flood got it, and don't figure out that my panda siblings trotted down and snatched it all, while there was a flood going on to blame for its disappearance. Really, my siblings, especially the rabbits, ought to be totally ashamed of themselves!

Rain Dance Has Gone Too Far

If anyone asks, I was on here, chatting with my loyal readers, and certainly had nothing to do with the bunnies' latest rain dance, and the disaster that those rabbits have created this time. They were dancing, and they must have shook their tails a bit too much or something, because a flood is fast threatening our neighbor's house! Or maybe it wasn't an accident. Maybe it was part of some sort of bunny plot. If our neighbor's house was washed away, it would open up tons of gardening space for them in a few weeks! I'll bet anything that's what the little pests are up to! Well, I want it known right now that I was here, and can't be held responsible!

More Amazon Issues

I swear, Amazon is the most evil business that I have ever heard of. Really, they should be so ashamed of themselves. I was checking the human's purchase history there a bit ago, to make sure that no more reunion books had been purchased, when I found something that is almost worse! She just placed an order for a book called How to Wash a CAT!! I'm a cat! Why in the world is she purchasing an instructional manual on how to ruin my nice fur with soap and water? This is terrible! Isn't it bad enough that I am tormented with reunion materials and rabbits? And now there is a close encounter with water looming in my future, I'm sure.

Woe is Me

As if the human's book purchases weren't bad enough, she just got a message from Cousin Louise's granddaughter, like she was sure that she would, over the weekend. Just wonderful. And this relative is going to put her in touch with another relative, I fear one on Cousin Earl's limb of that awful tree. This is terrible. Just terrible. I know the human is going to end up inviting the lot of them to come to the family reunion. I just know it. I will end up having to pack a million goodie bags! My poor paws!

Must Sue Amazon

I must find a way to bring suit against Amazon right away. You will not believe this, but I was checking out their site a bit ago, and when I hit the order history, to make sure the rabbits hadn't snuck in any purchases, I found that Amazon allowed the human to purchase two books on planning FAMILY REUNIONS! TWO BOOKS! Does this business have no shame whatsoever? Do you know the number of horrible ideas that two books on reunion planning are sure to give the human? I must file a suit right away. Goodness knows what they could do next, if they are capable of doing something as foolish as that. Who knows, they will probably try to sell gardening books to the rabbits next.

Today's Relative Update

The human hasn't heard from that granddaughter of Cousin Louise again, although she's sure that she will hear something over the weekend. And what in the world am I going to do, if what she hears over the weekend results in an invitation to attend the family reunion being issued? The rabbits are already looking in catalogs, trying to pick out the best carrots to use to poke me during goodie bag stuffing, and I don't like the look of the points on some of those vegetables!

Sue Arizona

I must find a lawyer right away to sue the state of Arizona. It seems like everyone else is suing them, after all, but I'm sure that all of those humans don't have nearly as good of a case as I do. Would you believe that foolish state has posted death certificates online? And, of course, the human had a relation who managed to die in Arizona, which means she trotted over to the free site right away to download his death certificate and to collect all the information that she could. Really, that state should be ashamed of itself, and if those feline lawyers that I know ever get finished taking the national parks to court, I know I will be due a large settlement!

Worse and Worse

Oh, this just keeps getting worse. The human sent a message to Cousin Louise's granddaughter, and she's already heard back, and sent a reply in response. The rabbits are checking out the human's list of people who need bags right now, and debating if they should go ahead and add these relations or not. I am doomed. Cousin Louise's family will only lead to Cousin Earl's relations, and then possibly to Cousin Frances and Cousin Margaret too. I will be stuffing bags forever!

Oh, NO!!

Oh, no! It's getting worse! As if it isn't bad enough when the human finds dead relative, now she has found a potential living one! It looks as if Cousin Louise is still alive, and worse yet, she has a ton of family photos, which likely means she has other, nightmarish family information! So now, the human is happily amusing herself hunting this relation down. What in the world am I going to do if she finds her? It will surely lead to her being issued a reunion invitation, and thus to more stuffing work for me!

Help! Help! Help!

Oh, someone, HELP!! I just realized something nightmarish! The human is amusing herself looking up cousins on Facebook, and messaging them to request information. Well, I'm sure that the family reunion will be mentioned to them at some point, so what if she decides to invite them? Then, they will obviously need goodie bags, which will mean the human will have to obtain more bag construction materials. And then, I, will in turn be expected to assist with stuffing these bags! Isn't it bad enough that currently almost a hundred bags are planned? Who knows how many more might be necessary if the human decides to drag in some of these new relations? I will be working forever, likely being poked with carrots by the rabbits the entire time, with demands that I stuff bags faster!

Horrible Goodie Update

I ought to sue Walmart. I really should, although, seeing as one of the human's cousins has large amounts of stock in the place, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that they seem to spend every waking hour, and a few hours when decent people should be sleeping, plotting to assist the human in increasing amounts of horror. The human was thrilled to find a giant sale there today, and she came trotting home with alarming amounts of mazes, more kaleidoscopes, and these little heart shaped boxes, suitable for holding candy. Which, of course, indicates more candy might be purchased soon. Betsy Bear is already getting extra snitching sacks, in anticipation of robberies to come, due to the increase in child bait. Will these horrors never end?

AAAAAHHHH!!!

I was so distracted by that bear that came trotting in that I almost missed the true horrors of the evening. I'll bet that's why she was petting me so nicely, too, to try to distract me! I should have known that a bear released from the mission had to be up to something. Oh, this is terrible! Cousin Evelyn is DEAD! And of course, she couldn't die quietly, without fanfare, now could she? She had to leave a nice, detailed obituary, which the human was able to use to hunt down her SURVIVORS on Facebook! As soon as the funeral is over tomorrow, she's going to send out friend requests. Oh, we are all doomed. This is sure to lead to nightmarish growth of that tree, and probably a ton of falling nuts, too. Cousin Evelyn should be ashamed of herself!

Today's Sibling Report

Well, the mission let another one out. I know that place is supposed to help the homeless, but really, do they have to help them by arranging for them to move in here? The human dropped by there this afternoon, after a visit to the doctor, and of course a bear pounced, and begged to move in. I am now up to 669 siblings. My one comfort about this bear is that at least she knows to pet with the grain of my fur, not against it.

Goodies and the Penguins

Sniff, sniff, sniff. I thought today would be marginally safer, with those lazy mailmen taking the day off. I really did. No mail at least meant that the human wouldn't get any horrible reunion materials that way, or at least I thought it meant that. Little did I know that those people in the little brown trucks were still trotting around, and one of them dropped by here with a giant envelope of materials from the local aquarium, with enough brochures and coupons for every bag! This aquarium has just opened a new penguin area! Needless to say, my penguin siblings were thrilled to see the brochures, and now they are lounging by the rabbits, hard at work on party invitations. They figure while the humans are having their parties, they will just invite all of these penguins down for a little pool party. Just perfect. Not only will I have to deal with the human's reunion in a few months, that will undoubtedly encourage nightmarish growth of that tree, but I'll have to put up with the penguins, taking over the pool and partying forever! Do you know how much noise a penguin party creates?

Et Tu, Dogs?

Oh, and speaking of the goodie horrors, I just learned that a DOG was present in the store when the human was gathering these things. A dog was present, and the canine in question didn't do a single thing to prevent the growing goodie horrors! Really, this pup ought to be ashamed of himself. Is this because of those comments I made when I was poked in the doghouse? Because, really, you canines can't hold that against me at all. I'm sure your doghouses are lovely places, and I might like one too, if I wasn't being forced in there, and made to stay there by a batch of delinquent rabbits. There is no need to punish me by assisting with the goodie horrors!

This Afternoon's Goodie Horror Report

I am very sorry to say that the goodie horrors are growing. The human went trotting out today, I suspect in the company of rabbits, and came back lagging numerous large bags. Here's the result: more erasers, tops, pens, rings and soft balls, slinkies, rubber bouncy balls, something called jumpy hearts, stampers, stretchy figures and bug tattoos. And, in an even worse move, she lagged home five large boxes of candy to go in these bags! Candy! Candy is child bait for Betsy Bear! What was the human thinking? Do you know how many children five boxes of candy could lure in for Betsy to torment? Can I be declared an accessory to that bear's crimes, should the rabbits go through with their threats to make me work on packing these bags?

Goodie Horrors Growing

The horrors that are those planned goodie bags are growing, I am very sorry to announce. I suggest you send all small children away from the computer now, before they can see what these horrors contain and become frightened. Either that, or before they can decide they want a bag too, and demand to attend this horrible reunion event. The bunnies have a list of materials for the bag, and the amount of stuff so far is truly terrifying. This is what is going into the bags so far: bubbles, card games, bright gel pens, play dough, cars for boys and rings for girls, frisbees, yo-yos, paddle balls, multiple pencils, kaleidoscopes, several erasers, stencils, tops, balls, mazes, puzzles, crayons and coloring books. Then there are fancy soaps and lip glosses so far for the teens. I don't want to think of what there is for the adults. And I don't like the rabbits' little list either. I know that my name is on there somewhere, probably next to one or more goodie items, that they will be expecting me to pack into the bags come reunion time!

Horror in the Mail

A horror that I almost fear to mention arrived in the mail bright and early this morning. The Department of Rabbitculture (aka The Department of Agriculture) shipped another plant start down to my delinquent bunny siblings. It's something called an evening primrose, and according to the page I found when I researched its dangers, it is a thug like plant. I can only assume that bodes ill for our neighbors and their continuing occupation of their homes, come spring.

Ignore the Last Post

Really, I have got to find bunnyproofing for this computer. Surely some company offers such a service. I can't even take five minutes to check my food dish out without a rabbit hopping on here. Please ignore the last post. Normally, I would whole-heartedly support anything that might keep Betsy tied up, and out of my fur, but I don't think this is going to work out that way. That bear started chuckling evilly when she heard of the suit, and promptly placed an order for more snitching sacks. I'm afraid she has plans to send her attorney to court to represent her, while she raids those poor bears' dens since she can be sure they won't be home. I don't want to imagine how much honey they will loose as a result of this suit.

Visited a Park Lately?

Hi, it's Bebe here again to ask for some help. We bunnies are assisting the firm of Katt, Katt and Katt with a little legal matter. They're representing a group of bears that live up in the mountains, and who have been victimized by our delinquent bear sister, Betsy. Anyway, we promised them that we would ask around and try to find some people who can testify as to the poor management on the part of the rangers. They are sure that such a sloppy job counts as negligence, and failure to protect. Every time we've visited, there have been numerous signs up warning against feeding the poor, hard working bears of the park, but there hasn't been a thing warning against Betsy. Did you know, she's even strolled into their welcome center and done things that were totally unwelcome, and yet the rangers didn't do a thing to stop her? With such poor management, is it any wonder that she's victimized those poor bears as much as she has? Katt, Katt and Katt are sure that they will be able to get a large settlement for these needy bears for loss of honey, hibernation harrassment, and the general pain and suffering of having to deal with Betsy, but they need more witnesses. So, if you've visited a park, and have noticed the lack of appropriate Betsy Bear precautions being taken, contact us today!

Today's Update

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was in hiding, in case the authorities came looking for Betsy Bear in connection to those mass thefts of Valentine's Day foods. I guess all of the weddings she raided had insurance, though, and the couples who had hearts stolen were probably looking for a good reason to break up anyway, for it seems that her crimes have gone unreported once again. Now if people would just remove the remains of their stolen food from the backyard so we can all forget about this, it would be much appreciated. I don't like the way the bunnies keep checking out those cake stands and cake tier holders, and commenting on how they would be just perfect to stack plant pots on, so for goodness sakes, if Betsy snitched and ate your wedding cake, get here and collect the remains before they give the bunnies more bad ideas!

Valentine Horrors

Well, I don't have a new sibling yet, although the bunnies keep pointing out to me that the night is still young, and Amazon is happy to provide new family members. I can only hope they do not decide to take in an elephant from there. After the horrors I have experienced today, that is the last thing that I need. Betsy was out in full force today, celebrating the day of love by looting. I do hope no one wanted to experience romance with food on this happy occasion, for if you did, you are doomed to a massive disappointment. Betsy took to the air in that purloined sled, and I'm not entirely sure what she did, and I'm not sure it's safe to know, but there are now feathers in the swimming pool, and that delinquent bear has a bow and arrows in her possession. I can only assume that she attacked Cupid for all of his heart shaped boxes of chocolate. Should your sweetheart have made the claim that one of those was purchased for you, and then went missing, please see the rabbits tomorrow to remove the remains from the backyard. Oh, and should you have been trying to get married today, well, really you ought to have known better, shouldn't you? Everyone knows that the wedding chapels do a brisk business today, and Betsy has made careful note of all of them. You can collect your cake toppers in the morning. Please line up to the left of the people collecting the remains of the boxes of chocolate.

Still in the Doghouse

I'm still in the doghouse, I'm afraid, over that minor human injury thing. The only reason I was able to get on was that those bunnies got distracted, looking at stuff, and making notes for things to poke in those horrible goodie bags. Really, how long are they going to demand that I'm punished, anyway? Isn't what is likely going to happen tomorrow bad enough? The human is having more issues with her glases, and will likely need to visit the store again. Every time she goes to that horrible business, I end up with more siblings! Who knows what horrible increases in family size might await me tomorrow.

Bebe Bunny Reporting

What was our brother doing on here? Really, he ought to be ashamed of himself. He is in the doghouse, and is not allowed online. If anyone sees him posting on here, could you email us right away to let us know? He's been a seriously bad kitty, first maiming a human like he did, and then with the poor excuse for a salad he produced to try to distract us. He didn't bother to provide dressing, and we know that he munched down all of the cheese toppings before he handed it over.

In the Doghouse

I'm afraid I'm in the doghouse, and might I say, I really don't know how any canines reading this stand the place? So cramped, and I'm sure there are fleas lurking about. The humans insisted, though, after a minor incident. Really, they're making way to much of a big deal over it. How was I to know that a human could possibly bleed that much if a claw grazed them in the wrong location? Really, it wasn't my fault at all, but the humans are kicking up a terrible fuss over the situation, so in the doghouse is where I am, and those rabbits are keeping an eye on me to make sure I stay there. I had to distract them with a salad so I could get on.

Sibling Report

Well, the mission let another animal escape. The human dropped by there as I feared she would, after getting her glasses fixed, and of course an animal pounced on her the second she stepped in the door, demanding to be allowed to move in. At least this one was a bear, not a bunny. That is the only slightly positive thing I can see in the situation at the moment. I now have 668 siblings.

ACK!!

I can't believe this. I turned my back for a second, and what happens but that rabbit hops on and messes up my blog with a post about those horrible seed labels. I really have got to find some sort of bunnyproofing to prevent this sort of thing from happening. Please dis-reguard that rabbit's post. The bunnies don't need anyone posting suggestions that will only encourage them.

Seed Labels

Hey, it's Bebe Bunny here again. Our brother's busy moaning about the human going to the glass store in the morning, and the potential for such a trip to result in more siblings. Really, he ought to be a bit less selfish. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her helping out the homeless like she does. Anyway, while he's fussing, I thought I would pop on and let you know that we've designed our little seed labels. Now all that's left to do is to print them out, but that's where we've run into a problem. We aren't sure what color of paper to use. We were wanting to use orange, but then it occurred to us that it might be harder to get that color of paper, so now we're stuck. If anyone has any suggestions for an appropriate paper color for our cute little seed labels, please click the comment button and let us know. Thanks!

Have Pity

I can only hope that someone will have pity on me, in the face of the disaster that might be coming my way tomorrow. The human is having issues with her glasses, and thinks she needs to go back to the glass store. And, as I posted on Monday, thanks to the wait she had the last time that she was there, I ended up with six new siblings! What if this visit results in more? What if it results in the arrival of more rabbits? Our neighbors are not insured for more rabbits!

Lousy Cousin

Does anyone have any suggestions for the best way to find an attorney to bring a suit against a cousin? All of the feline ones that I know are occupied at the moment, filing suits on the behalf of various bears against the park service for failure to protect them from Betsy Bear. If you have visited a national park, be prepared to be called to court soon. Anyway, I'm sure I have an excellent case against Cousin Stella, who had the nerve to die a few days ago, and then had the nerve to have a detailed obituary, with a list of numerous survivors, published in the local newspaper! Needless to say, the human was very pleased to see this, and is, I fear, making notes from the obituary to add alarming amounts of limbs to that tree of hers. Really, Cousin Stella should be ashamed, and I am sure that I am due a large settlement, due to the trauma she has caused by encouraging tree growth!

Bunnyproofing

Does anyone know how I can install bunnyproofing on the computer? The rabbits found a really good deal on little seed envelopes for the human's reunion goodie bags, and now they are bugging me to get off, so they can go online and work out labels for the seed. Naturally, I want to put a stop to this before they can get started. Labeling seed can only lead to them obtaining more seed, after all. So, how can I control them? I'm afraid passwords don't work. There are so many rabbits hopping around all the time that at least one will likely see me entering it.

Siblings

The humans didn't go to the country today, which means the cows have at least a few more days before they are in terrible trouble with their farmer. My human had broke her glasses, and had to trot down to the glass store this morning to get them replaced. That wasn't the major problem, though. The problem was that there was a considerable wait, and you won't believe what the human did. She dropped by the local mission, and was promptly pounced on by a batch of homeless animals, who begged to come home with her. I am very sorry to say that I now have 667 siblings, including a new bunny sibling. And frankly, I am very alarmed about that rabbit. It is dressed in a little boxing outfit, including gloves. The rabbits are dangerous enough when armed with carrots. What am I going to do if there is a professional fighter bunny in the house? Really, the mission ought to be ashamed of themselves, letting so many animals escape!

The Country and the Cows

The humans took a little trip to the country today, to check on the country cottage, and of course, Betsy Bear trotted along to torment those poor bears who have the misfortune to have their den near the lake. I just hope they thought to invest heavily in honey insurance before they settled down to snooze back in the fall. Betsy's crimes aren't the worst result of this visit, though. While she was up there, looting and pillaging, she happened to spot several herds of cows, and noted all of the manure in their pastures. And, of course, once she got home, she shared this news with the rabbits in exchange for a suitable honey bribe. The bunnies were absolutely thrilled, and now they are hopping everywhere, gathering rakes, shovels and sacks, and making plans to ride along with the humans when they go back tomorrow to check out a possibly damaged shingle, so that they can offer to clean up the cows' dwelling for them. They're sure the cows will be thrilled to let them help out, and the manure will be wonderful for their garden. Really, those rabbits ought to be ashamed. What are the cows going to do, when their farmer comes along, looking to collect that manure to sell, and it is all gone? How in the world will they ever explain that they were bad cows, and handed it over to a batch of bunnies? The cows will be in a ton of trouble, and it will all be those rabbits' fault!

Goodie Gathering

I'm very sorry to announce that the human's work on those horrible goodie bags is proceeding well. She came home today toting giant amounts of brochures and coupons to be poked in there, and she has plans to look for more in the next day or so. That many coupons and discounts are sure to attract plenty of relations to that horrible reunion, and even worse, it will keep them hanging around longer, which will only give them more time to contribute to the growth of that horrible family tree. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to prevent this? There is way too much paper to eat.g

Year of the Sheep Too

During my research on the horror that is the Year of the Rabbit, you won't believe what I found out. There is a year devoted to sheep, too. Those poor, poor sheep. Normally, you would think having a year devoted to you would be a great thing, but I know my polar bear sisters all too well, The second those poor sheep get together to try to celebrate their year, the polar bears will tackle them with scissors for sheering. They will spend the entire year as nudists! Poor sheep. Does anyone know the best way for them to let the Chinese know that they appreciate the thought, but they need to trade this year for something else, possibly sweaters, if the polar bears have their way?

Year of the Rabbit Has Begun

Well, the Year of the Rabbit just started, and what a horrible start it is of to, too. There were a bunch of rabbits hopping around the backyard all day today, celebrating and helping my bunny siblings poke out stakes to mark where they want to install the garden as soon as they're able to start digging again, probably after that storm the groundhogs arranged passes over the weekend. At the current rate the bunnies are staking things, the only space that won't be part of their garden soon is the concrete around the swimming pool and they're thinking of making large planters out of kiddie swimming pools to take up some of that space. The Year of the Rabbit is off to a nightmarish start!

Groundhog's Day Storm

The groundhogs would like me to see if all of you are enjoying the nice storm they arranged in honor of Groundhog's Day, today. I told them that it was probably a bit much, but for some reason the little fluffy things were sure that you would all just love a few feet of snow, to trap you in your homes so you will have plenty of time to consider the wonder that is the groundhog. Really, what loon came up with the idea of giving the groundhogs their own holiday, anyway? Was it the same person who thought up that Year of the Rabbit thing?

Library Lunacy

The loons are out in full force at the library, is all that I can say, and I do hope my poor, loyal readers have hiding places prepared, for you will surely want to head for them once you hear the latest news. The human trotted by the local university library today, and she was amazed at the wealth of genealogy materials the place offered. She came home with her arms full, and I'm very afraid she is plotting a return trip as soon as possible. And, to make matters worse, because the grandhuman has connections to the school, the human is permitted to check out books for a year at a time! A year! Do they know the damage that could result from the human having such materials in her possession for a year?

Basket Update Too

I thought I would make this a separate entry, to spare you from seeing too much horror at once. The bunny who hopped out to that plant sale, well, after she went there, she decided to pay a visit to another sale, one that has been doing a ton to supply the human with stuff for the reunion and the planned goodie bags and baskets. The bunny came home lagging 18 more bags to be used to assemble goodie baskets! 18 goodie basket bags! Have you ever heard something so alarming in your life, and I just know those rabbits are planning to draft me into helping with the assembling too! I will be forced to work forever, if those bunnies have their way, and I don't want to think of the growth of that horrible tree that these goodie things might lead to.

Today's Rabbit Horrors

The bunnies got their year off to a rather nice start according to them, when one of them hopped out this afternoon, and came back lagging a large sack full of plant bulbs. Apparently some church was having a sale, and this foolish religious institution allowed a rabbit to stroll away with the makings for over fifty plants. Have you ever heard of something so frightening? The rabbits are trying to claim that these are just flowers, and are harmless, but they can't fool me. One of the packs clearly says grape hyacinth. Do they really think I don't know what grapes are? That church ought to be ashamed, contributing to the bunnies' delinquency like they did, and at such a reasonable price too!

Facing the Year of the Rabbit

I would suggest that all of my readers make plans to lock yourselves safely in your houses now, until this year is over, or else you are sure to meet a horrible fate. I spotted another of my bunny siblings' lists of things they need at the food co-op, and they have down a pound of mung beans, adzuki beans and pinto beans as part of their planned Year of the Rabbit celebrations! Do you know how many beans make up a pound, and pinto beans have a strong history of being vicious and expansionistic. Not only is the neighborhood doomed if this purchase happens, but I suspect this part of the state is as well!

The Year of the Rabbit!

What did I ever do to offend the Chinese? Is this because I don't eat their food? Did that offend them, or something? It isn't my fault, I will have them know. I would happily munch down rice, if the rabbits weren't always spoiling it with various vegetables, and I won't get into what they like to do to noodles. Really, they shouldn't hold that against me at all, but apparently they are, for they have arranged something so horrifying that I almost fear to write it. They have declared this year the Year of the RABBIT! And it was starting out to be such a nice year too, and then they did this. Needless to say, my siblings were thrilled with this happy news, and they're hopping around, making lists now of how they want to celebrate their year, little lists that I'm sure will make my year a disaster, and that will render our neighbors homeless. How many noodles do you think the Chinese would insist I eat in order to get this year canceled, or changed to something else? What about giving the mouse another year? He just opened a hotel for my kind, so I'm sure he deserves a year much more that my delinquent bunny siblings!

Bunny List

I got my paws on that list the bunnies have for their baskets, and just as I feared, and just as I feared, on the bottom beneath lists of teas, fancy soaps, mugs and such, there is my name with a little note to the side that says basket assembler. They ARE planning to put me to work as soon as they get the materials to assemble these horrible things! Does anyone know the best way to prevent this? I thought of eating the list, but honestly, the paper tastes awful.u

Rabbits on the Loose!

I can't believe this. I was gone five minutes to get a snack, and what do I come back to find but the bunnies have amused themselves messing up my blog again, and even worse, trying to recruit my readers to assist them with their horrible basket plans! I'm very sorry about that. Really, I need to get a lock for this computer or something to keep them out when I'm away. Does anyone know the best way to install bunnyproofing?

Basket Voting

Hey, it's Bebe Bunny again. Our brother trotted off to check out his food bowl, so I thought I would hop on for a minute. I'm sure you heard him complaining about the goodie baskets we talked to the human about making to either gift or sell at the reunion. Really, we don't know what his problem is with something so nice. Our human's been reading tons on improving reunions and what others are doing right for reunions, and we are sure that the baskets, along with the bags are a great way to go. So, here's where you readers come in. What sort of basket would you be interested in? A food goodie basket from the food co-op is a must, along with a tea basket. We can get the materials for that there too. Really, the co-op is just the nicest store, and they're always so happy to see rabbits hopping in. The human's thinking a basket with beauty stuff, too. What else would you suggest? We were thinking books, Christmas stuff, possibly even a pet basket. Please send all suggestions here! We really need your advice!

Basket Woes

The human is going to make those goodie baskets, just like the rabbits suggested. She came home today, toting a bunch of basket bags that some store foolishly had on sale, just for that purpose. She has enough to make eight baskets, and I'm sure she will be able to get more basket assembly supplies if she needs them. Now, the bunnies are lounging on the bed, making lists of items that need to go into the baskets, and I don't want to think about how many of those items can be obtained at the food co-op right next to the seed! And as if that isn't bad enough, the little pests are chattering about the best way to assemble these baskets, and I don't like the way that they are looking at me during these talks, like they are marking me down for basket packing duty!

Growing Goodie Horrors

The goodie horrors are growing. I knew that my exile would give those rabbits too much time to come up with bad ideas. Bunnies need careful supervision at all times, in order to prevent them from getting horrible notions in their fluffy little heads, after all. Now they are thinking the human could make up gift baskets too, to either sell to raise money for horrible, family related activities such as obtaining more material for book assembly, for tombstone cleaning or purchase, or for who knows what other horrors that will encourage the growth of that awful tree, or to give out to relatives who have hit milestones. And of course, the bunnies think a great place to get things for these goodie baskets would be at the food co-op, the place that caters to rabbits and the encouragement of rabbit delinquency! The human has several cousins who are really into the kinds of things sold there, so the bunnies told her that they're sure she could get a good price for a goodie basket from that horrible business! And I think she's listening to them! I know I spotted her working on a list of the best materials to put into such a goodie basket! What in the world will I do if she decides to make the horrible thing up? I'm sure the bunnies will want to hop along with her to get the materials, and that can only lead to their getting their paws on frightening amounts of seed!

Favor Horrors!

I got back on just in time to hear of the latest horrors, involving the human and her plans for those reunion goodie bags. The bunnies had lots of time to poke around on the computer while I was exiled, and they found out that some people offer seeds as party favors. So, naturally, the little cotton tailed trouble-makers hopped to the computer right away to look for information on how to best assemble these things, and now they are all clustered, chattering to the human about what wonderful gifts these would be for the family reunion goody bags! They're even planning to offer their services to design little labels for the seed bags if the human agrees with them, which I'm sure she will. And you know the bunnies will use the purchase of seeds for the goodie bags as an opportunity to obtain extra seed for themselves, too. I'm sensing their horrible garden growing by leaps and bounds! And what if the human goes to the archives? The store with the best selection of cheap seed is right there on the bus route!

I'm Back!

I'm back! The human has finally decided that the flea treatment has worn off enough to permit me to set paw in her room again, and can I say it was just in time too? I can't believe what has happened to my nice little blog in my absence! Gardening posts, quilt posts! I'm surprised they didn't let Betsy Bear post on the best ways to snatch candy from infants! It will take me forever to get this place straightened out! And can I say now, how sorry I am that my loyal readers were subjected to such horrors as my siblings' attempts to blog?

Polar Bear Posting

Hello. The snow did stop, so I decided to do what the bunnies were bugging me about, and venture out of the den to post. My name is Annann Polar Bear, and I'm here today to talk about quilts. The simplest way to make a quilt is to find a fat quarter, with a print too nice to cut up. You take that, and then you sew a border on all four sides. If you happen to be a larger animal, you might need two or more borders to get the size you want. Once you have your top to the size you need, pick a piece of nice looking fabric for the backing. Now, we come to the most important part, the batting! We can't say enough about the wonders of wool for batting, and the best wool is fresh off of the sheep! This is the tricky part of quilting, now. First, you must find a sheep. We recommend mapquest for hunting them down. You will need at least two for this, someone to hold down the sheep and someone to weld the scissors for sheering. You won't believe the fuss those sheep put up over handing over wool. They ought to be ashamed of themselves! Here's how we do it. One polar bear pounces on the sheep, while another snags the back hooves, then the cubs move in with the scissors. We also recommend wearing earplugs during this, to keep from hearing the complaints of the sheep, and their threats to contact lawyers and authorities. You will need at least a sheep's worth of wool for a good quilt, possibly more if you are a larger animal, or have made the mistake of making your home in a colder climate. Once you have your wool, stuff it between the two layers of fabric, and secure the layers together in whatever manner you wish. You can use a lot of little, fancy stitches, or thread and knots, whatever works best for you. Then, once you have the two layers secured, use a long, skinny piece of fabric to bind the outer edges and you're done! There, quiltmaking made simple and don't worry, the sheep haven't been able to find legal representation yet!

Garden Plans

Hello, it's Bebe Bunny, here to report on our plans for the upcoming gardening season with some help from my sisters Kiley and Josie Rabbit. Now is the time to start making plans for your garden, and we're already hard at work. We've been going through the seed catalogs, and taking an inventory of what we have already. Hopefully by March, we will be ready to start the germination process. Our neighbor offered to assist with digging for the garden this year. Wasn't that so nice of her? And I'm sure the dogs who live with her are going to offer to lend a paw as well, so we need to have lots of seeds ready to go. We tried direct planting last year, but honestly, the sprouting method from the year before, using the coffee filters and the plastic bags worked better, so we plan to go back to that for this season. The top of the hot water heater is an excellent location for seed germination, in case you plan to try this yourself. We can't say enough good things about it. Our grandhuman complained terribly, though, about our seed once we moved them to the little plastic containers on the table, so we're looking for plans to make another germination location, possibly inside the dead dryer. If any fish read this blog, and are planning to upgrade your home with new lights, we would be happy to take the old ones off of your fins to use for this purpose. We're sure, with the dryer bin removed and some lights put in, that the frame will make the perfect, warm home for our seed. I'll be happy to give more details later. Tomorrow, if the snow stops and they're willing to come out, though, the polar bears will report on quilt assembly!

Bebe Blogging

The increased guard seems to be keeping our brother out very nicely, I'm happy to say. Really, he ought to be ashamed, with how he keeps trying to sneak in like he is, even though he still smells of his flea treatment. Luckily we rabbits know how to handle him. So, until he is allowed back, which might not be for a long time, especially if more fleas are found, my siblings and I will be entertaining you. Did you know gardening season is upon us? Tomorrow, I will post on our plans for this happen event, and will offer tips on the best way to get your garden going! And if the polar bears can be convinced to set paw out of their den, they will offer you quilting tips on Friday.

Bebe's Update

This blogging is actually a lot of fun. I suppose I see why our brother enjoys it so, but still, that doesn't justify his attempts to creep in here when he knows full well that he's banned. We can still smell the flea treatment on him, and we take no chances on the human ending up covered in hives. You won't believe it, but he tried rolling in a can of peas as a bribe just a bit ago! Really, does he think that we are all dumb bunnies? And how would we get into the peas, even if we were interested, anyway? He certainly didn't bring the can opener in as well!

Bebe Bunny Again

Oh, that naughty brother of ours crept on the computer when he knows he is supposed to stay out of here! Can you believe he did that, knowing what happened with the human and the hives last time? And he took advantage of an infant bunny too, waving carrots under her little pink nose, until she hopped away from her guard post! Well, we're going to take care of that right now. The rabbits assigned to guard duty are having their ranks doubled! Let's see him get past us again. And we're dragging all bags of carrots in here so he can't try the distraction trick too. Really, he ought to be ashamed, and now the computer keyboard is going to have to be cleaned!

Back

Okay, I'm back. The human is taking a shower, so I distracted the rabbit guarding the computer with carrots so I could get on. Honestly, what in the world is the human thinking, banning me from the computer like that, due to a little flea treatment? It isn't like I asked her to put it on me, after all, so why in the world should I be punished with the lack of computer time, just in case said treatment might turn her into a hive covered mess? Really, it isn't fair at all, but of course those rabbits are all on the human's side, and are keeping a close eye on me. Luckily the baby bunny was taking this shift, and she's a bit more distractable than some of the others. Wait. Do I hear hopping? Got to go!

Bebe Bunny Here!

Hey, this is Sir Pinky's bunny sister Bebe with an update on why our brother isn't posting. He's fine, but our grandhuman spotted a flea yesterday, so he was caught, and flea treatment was applied. Unfortunately, our human suspects she might be allergic to something in the flea treatment, so Pinky's been banished from her room, the home of the computer, until it has a chance to wear off.

Reunion Work

I'm afraid I have alarming horrors to report in regards to that human's planned family reunion. She's making plans for goodie bags, to lag to it, in order to lure more people in with promises of gifts. As part of this goodie bag assembling, she's been writing various places, requesting donations, based on something that she read in one of her magazines for planners of such horrifying events. I'm very frightened to report that she has already received a positive reply from the local zoo, offering her coupons! Really, doesn't the zoo have enough troubles with repeated penguin escapes, due to my siblings scheduling parties? What if the human's reunion decides to schedule a group zoo trip due to those coupons? Every penguin in the place will surely use such a thing as the perfect opportunity to fly the coup, and trot over here to hang around! I will be up to my pointed ears in penguins!

Continuing Horrors, Almost Too Many to Count

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit, but I didn't want to frighten all of you too much with the continuing horrors. We have had more snow, and you don't want to think about how that particular bit of weather is making the polar bears act. I hope all of the sheep in the area have had time to get wool insurance is all that I can say about that. And then, to make matters worse, the water on top of the pool cover is frozen, making the perfect skating rink for the penguins. They've been zooming around out there, and I know that I've spotted a few extra penguins that I'm sure were listed on the zoo's website as escapees. I really ought to see about scouting out a better hiding place, in case the zoo comes around, looking for those fugitive birds. And then there is the horror of the human's work on the family reunion. But I will share that tomorrow, so you won't be too frightened to sleep tonight.

Worse than Yesterday

Today is worse than yesterday, somehow, even though yesterday I was facing starvation or being converted to vegetarianism. That horrible weatherman is calling for snow, and naturally the polar bears are in a panic. They keep talking about how warm and cozy the hotel the humans stayed at was, and are clustered on the bed, begging to return there right away before the evil snow starts to fall. What if the humans decide to head up that way? They could get snowbound, and then what would happen to me, here alone with the bunnies and their plot to convert me to munching veggies? I wonder if I could convince the rabbits that they all should go along with the humans, to spread the word of the wonders of vegetables to others, instead of just sharing it with me?

Tale of Horror

I'm back, and with a nightmarish tale of horror. I suggest you hide all small children now, so they don't accidentally learn of this. One of the limbs on the human's alarming family tree took ill, so my humans had to leave unexpectedly to see to this relation. At first I thought it might work out great, since six out of the seven polar bears currently in residence here and Betsy Bear departed with her, but then the humans were gone for almost three days! I ran out of food! My dish was totally empty. My backup dish was totally empty! The backup dish for the backup dish was empty! And as if not having food wasn't bad enough, the rabbits offered to provide food! They're vegetarians, and you should have seen the looks they were giving me, and the chuckling. They saw this as the perfect opportunity to convert me to their vegetarian lifestyle. They were planning to stuff me with salads, carrots, and broccoli until I gave in and decided to follow their chosen food plan. If they humans hadn't returned when they did, I might have been a vegetarian at this very moment. What in the world am I going to do if they have to leave again?

New Year's Update

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been laying low in case the authorities came poking around wanting to find out where Betsy got that load of electronics that she lagged to the pawn shop. Really, if you want to see a truly frightening sight, imagine that bear coming trotting in, lagging a large pile of money. Heaven only knows what she is planning to do with the cash. Oh, and those reindeer are still tied up in the backyard too. I'm sure that's a horrible sign that she's planning to use them for some additional crimes later on in the month. Or perhaps for Valentines' Day. Being able to get airborne would probably help her to attack Cupid for his candy easier.

Betsy's Christmas Success

I'm very sorry to say that Christmas was a big success for Betsy. I do hope that no one asked Santa for any gifts that they urgently needed, because those wishes are doomed to go unfilled. All edible goodies have been munched down, and any valuables such as jewelry or electronics are going to the local pawn shop come Monday to raise more money for snacks. And if you requested a sweater, Betsy's likely already sold it to a sheep somewhere in anticipation of their upcoming wool loss due to the polar bears. The best thing that I can suggest for all of you, is to just try to forget this holiday ever happened. That's what I'm going to be doing, or at least I will if Betsy ever does something with the reindeer currently loitering in the backyard.

Facebook Crime Wave

Betsy finally did it. She joined one of the criminal games on Facebook under the human's account. She has been playing for under an hour now, and is already up to level five! I'm sure that's the worst possible sign. The humans are going out to eat in a bit, too, and the computer will be unguarded. That means Betsy can play without supervision, and get alarming amounts of criminal ideas, likely until Santa comes!

Santa's Doom Approaches

Poor Santa. In less than twenty-four hours, he is doomed. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what should be done with the reindeer, once Santa falls into Betsy's clutches? The prancing and pawing upon the roof will surely disturb my rest if they're allowed to stay unsupervised. Betsy has hung the chimney with traps, sure to snag Santa, so she can get her paws on his sack, and on all of the goodies therein. I do hope that no one spent too much time composing him a letter with wishes, for thanks to that bear, you will not be getting a thing. And for goodness sakes, don't leave any cookies unattended tomorrow night! It will attract her to your home for sure!

Sue the Bus Company! Sue the Newspapers!

I must get an attorney right away is all that I can say, for I am sure that I have an excellent case against the bus company and the newspaper for endangering us all. I'm sure you will be as horrified as I was to learn that a new bus route has opened, offering round trips to Washington for twenty dollars. As you might know from some of my posts this spring, Washington is the home of the National Archives, a place just packed with alarming amounts of genealogical materials. The human has been doing a money count, ever since she saw the article on this bus route, and she is sure that she has the twenty dollars to cover her fare to gather alarming amounts of research materials! And even worse, this bus offers internet access for the entire trip! She will be able to research the tree, and find even more things that she needs before she even gets there! We are all doomed! Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!

Relative Visit

One of the human's relations dropped in today, supposedly to collect Christmas presents. Unfortunately, the human in question happens to know a bit about the family tree, and my human started to question her. Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. And this human is supposed to return in a few days, too, which will only give my human more time to think up more genealogy questions. Does anyone know the best way to sabotage a doorbell?

Animal Adoptions

I've noticed, when I've checked what the human's doing on Facebook, that a lot of different animals have ads popping up, requesting adoption for the holidays, including an entire herd of polar bears. How worried do you suppose I should be about the human constantly seeing such advertisements while tending her little farms and zoos? I don't want to imagine what could happen if another polar bear moved in here!

More Evil from the Weatherman

I think that I need to report the weatherman to someone, I really do. Once more, he is calling for snow, and naturally the polar bears are in an uproar. The World Wildlife Foundation is likely who this horrible polar bear cruelty should be reported too, right? Or would the local sheep association be better? Thanks to the horrible weatherman, record numbers of sheep are going to lose their wool soon. I can only hope that those poor sheep got their requests for sweaters in to Santa in time.

Santa

It's just a few more days until Santa will be trotting around, although why he still tries making deliveries in this neighborhood with Betsy on the loose, I will never know. I can only hope that no one in the immediate area is hanging stockings with care, because they are sure to go unfilled. Betsy is currently checking out the chimney, and plotting to install some sort of trap.

Continuing Weatherman Issues

The weatherman continues to cause problems. Now he's calling for ice tomorrow evening, and I don't think he means the ice that goes in the human's soft drinks either. Honestly, ice is just snow that needs a bit of fluffing, so of course the polar bears are upset once more. I will probably be forced to go without sleep tonight due to the sound of them running about, gathering blankets and other things they have labeled necessary warmth supplies. I swear, if the weatherman keeps this up, I will tell the rabbits that he is donating the hill on which his little weather studio is located, for additional gardening space come summer. Being trapped by squash and watermelon for a few months will serve him right!

Snow

When I get my paws on the weatherman, he is going to be so sorry for all of the trouble he has caused. We now have several inches of snow on the ground, and needless to say, I have frantic polar bears, demanding blankets, quilts, heaters and mittens to insure their warmth. And the weatherman is lurking, up in his little studio a block away, watching all of this with great glee. I'm sure I saw flashes of light from his binoculars a bit ago. Really, wasn't it bad enough when he observed the rabbits this summer to forecast rain? He ought to be fired! Not to mention tarred, feathered, and ran out of town on a rail. If the polar bears see another flake of snow, I shudder to imagine what will happen. This is all the weatherman's fault!

Back and Polar Bear Troubles

I'm back. Sorry for the delay in posting, but I've been dealing with major polar bear issues here. We've had the dreaded s-word, snow, lately, and it's got them in a tizzy. They're holed up in the human's room, in their little den, and whenever someone dares to twitch the doorknob, they start shouting about not letting any heat out. And, unfortunately, the human's room is the current location of the computer. So annoying. It took until know for me to sneak in so I could post this. Unfortunately, more snow is in the forecast for tomorrow. Goodness knows what I will have on my paws should that horrible prediction come true!

Sheep and Nudity

Seeing as a bunch of sheep are due to become nudists soon, I suppose this is as good a time as any to bring up this topic. Has anyone ever taken a really close look at sheep without their wool? Really, that look worse naked than I ever imagined possible. And, as I understand it, the humans in charge of them, periodically collect this wool too, if they can get it before the polar bears do, to use for human purposes. I can only hope that they provide sweaters and coats for the sheep after this sheering, if for no other reason than to spare other creatures the horror that is the naked sheep!

The Weatherman

Does anyone know how to arrange for an arrest warrant to be sworn out against our local weatherman? I want charges brought against him right away, and I want something done about that horrible fellow Jack Frost too. It snowed here today, and the polar bears have been running around, panicking and demanding emergency quilt construction take place immediately. I feel for any sheep who happen to live in this area. They are sure to be naked soon. My only suggestion to them is to get their letters in to Santa right away, and hope he will drop off sweaters early, for their wool is going to be gone soon.

Human and Court

I ought to tell our neighbors, when nuts from that tree rain down on their house, and break all of their windows, that they should hold the local courts totally to blame. The human trotted up there, and of course the first thing she asked was the best place to look for records on the misdeeds of her relations. And the had the nerve to TELL her so she could trot right over and round everything up. She came home with a nice stack of papers, and now has plans to hunt down more records as soon as possible, either by visiting a courthouse in another location, or by ordering microfilm! Is there no end in sight to encouragement of that awful tree's growth?

Friday's Scheduled Horror

The human's going to be dropping into a courthouse tomorrow, I am afraid. She's supposed to be there for other reasons, but I just know that she's going to use the visit for genealogical purposes as well, to hopefully find out about some more misdeeds of her ancestors! Do you think if I called the courthouse and warned them bright and early, they could ban her?

Polar Bear Hogging

The polar bears' takeover of the desk, and their hogging of the heater continues unabated. The second it feels the least bit nippy, they flip the heater on, and lock the door so that trespassers can't sneak in an soak up some of their warmth. For purposes of heater usage, I have been declared a trespasser. Those bears ought to be ashamed, and the human ought to be ashamed for catering to them. And even worse, the desk and the polar bears' new den is right next to a large supply of fabric, just perfect for quilt purposes. I don't want to think of the disaster that might result from that!

Polar Bears and Desk Theft

Now the polar bears are getting in on the act. They have established a little, quilted den in the gap between the desk chair area and the rear of the desk, that used to be my perfect hiding spot. And they've convinced the human, too, to move one of the little portable heaters into her room, and it's pointed right at their new den, so it's all comfy in there. Really, the nerve of those bears, and here I am, with only one heater for the rest of the house, while they hog an entire one just for a tiny little den! And they have their door shut so I can't sneak in, too!

Estate Sale

Horrible news. The human has just learned that one of her cousins is having an estate sale over the weekend, and now she is dying to go, sure that she will be able to find family info and even worse, to connect with other relatives on this limb of that awful tree. What can I do to prevent this? somehow, I don't think I can manage eating the car keys!

Our Neighbor

Moving that desk into the human's room, and giving the bunnies another place to lounge was definitely a bed idea. They've put the idea into her head now that she should help them with their gardening plans, so she actually approached our poor neighbor today, while she was shoveling rock for a driveway, and mentioned needing shoveling assistance for a garden at some point. This poor human! She thinks the garden belongs to my human, so of course she agreed! We are doomed! the entire neighborhood is doomed! Our neighbor is energetic to say the least, and I'm sure would be able to do a ton of digging. The rabbits will probably be able to triple their garden plans if she assists! How can I warn her that helping with this is helping with the loss of her home come spring?

More Desk Complaints

I hope those rotten rabbits are pleased with themselves. Since they amused themselves snatching that desk away, and having it moved into the human's room, I have had no place to hide. I'm so easy to spot it isn't funny. Really, they ought to be ashamed. Thanks to the loss of my best hiding place, I've been forced to stake out territory on a box of magazines, but they really don't work well for hiding purposes. I ought to hide those bunnies' carrots, just to teach them a lesson!

Desk

The human got a desk lagged into her room today, and she's already plotting how it will make writing easier. Needless to say, the bunnies were thrilled, and now one is lounging on top of the desk to make offering suggestions for the nightmarish rabbit stories easier. And what about me? That desk was one of my favorite hiding spots when it was in the other room! If I ducked down behind it, the humans could never catch me! Now I'll be easily spotted every time they want me for something for sure!

Fleas

I have somehow developed a case of fleas, something that I totally blame Nick the Cat, the villain of the rabbits' tails of terror for. There's been another cat hanging around here lately that looks suspiciously like him. The feline is undoubtedly a relative, and undoubtedly here to cause trouble. I ended up getting lagged to the vet to deal with the fleas, I'm afraid, and my good claws were ruined once more. Really, when will those people learn? You would think after all of these years they would have worked out that growling and fighting means to leave the claws alone, no matter what the humans say. It will take forever to get them back into shape, and that's if I don't damage them further, placing a call to an attorney to seek a restraining order against Nick and his relations!

Tomorrow's Horror

Does anyone have any suggestions for the best hiding place for a phone? The human checked with a library out in Kansas over the weekend, when she was pursuing information on that horrible tree, and they told her the person she needed to speak with would be in on Monday. I'm sure if she chats with this person, it will add even more branches onto that tree, as she's going to be asking for information on female cousins' married names. My only hope is that I can find a place to hide the phone and prevent this!

Horrible News

Horrible news. The human's Uncle Henry was convicted of grand larceny, and sent to the state pen for three years. You should have seen how happy she was to find this news. She was practically bouncing when she came home, and waving the papers around, that provided the information on his conviction. Now she's making plans to write the state archives right away to get any records they have on his jail time. And since she's going to be writing them, I just know she'll go ahead and ask for other records too. That tree is bound to grow by leaps and bounds soon. Really, would it have killed Uncle Henry to have stayed on the straight and narrow?

Human's Planned Birthday Horrors

The human's birthday is tomorrow, and to celebrate she has a horrible event, a trip to a genealogy conference planned, along with a trip to the court house to look up various records on her relatives. She's in her room now, looking at print-outs, and highlighting things in yellow that she needs to hunt down. I have never seen so much yellow marking in my life. And she's hopeful that if the court house visit goes well, that she'll get to visit the jail too, to hopefully find more records of her various relations' misdoings. I sense a lot more nuts on that tree soon.

Novel Horrors Day One

The human didn't get a lot of writing done today, due to a death early this morning keeping her up unexpectedly. She does have a story all picked out, though, and feels she can fly through a chapter or two tomorrow. Needless to say, the rabbits were thrilled with this news. I don't want to imagine the encouragement and horrible ideas that will result!

Halloween Success

I'm very sorry to announce that Betsy has declared this Halloween a complete success, which means that many children will be trotting to their school guidance counselors on Monday, in search of help to recover from the trauma of their robberies. Those poor, poor children. And apparently they all visited the churches' candy fests too, before trotting over here, so their sacks, pillowcases and plastic pumpkins were quite full when they arrived. Needless to say, Betsy soon relieved them of all of that. If any parents are reading this, you can drop by tomorrow to pick up the remains. Pillowcases will be hanging from the fence by the egg gourds. Please see the rabbits if you're looking for a plastic pumpkin.

Child Bait Prepared

The human has 65 bags packed full of child bait, ready to be passed out to those poor, misfortunate trick or treaters. Those poor, poor children. The human made sure to pack the bags nice and full, too, with loads of things that are sure to lure lots of children to the door, once they hear what the human is passing out from all of their little friends. And Betsy will be waiting, ready to rob them as soon as they trot away. I think I will have to go into hiding tomorrow, least I get tangled up in the ensuing police investigation.

Horror Has Begun

Well, the horror season started today, and if anyone comes checking, I do hope my loyal blog readers will let the authorities know that I was on here, warning people, and can't possibly be blamed for the horrors that struck this evening. Betsy came trotting in with a giant sack, packed full of goodies, a bit ago and I have a bad feeling that this sack is only the beginning of snitching nightmares to come. Those poor, poor children. They will need therapy for years to recover from the trauma of this weekend.

Countdown to Horror

I did some checking, and would you believe that some churches are actually offering up candy starting tomorrow? Really, I thought churches were supposed to be nice, good places, but various ones are spending this weekend putting out child bait so that Betsy can have a crime spree. Those poor, poor children. They will never want to set foot in a religious institution again after this. Betsy already has over a hundred snitching sacks in her paws, in anticipation, and she knows where she can obtain more if necessary.

Horror Approaching

There are just a few more days until the town is hit full force with horror. I can only hope that everyone has taken precautions, and have stocked up supplies so they can hide in their homes until the worst is over. Not only are we facing Betsy's planned crime spree and mass candy theft, but noveling horror month is about to start. And just when I was starting to recover from last year's horrors too. The rabbits already have paper and pencils out, and are hard at work on ideas to give the human for this year's novel horror. I am afraid to find out what those bunnies might think up this time. It will surely put tons of bad ideas into their little rabbit heads, whatever it is.

Might be in Trouble

I might be in a bit of trouble with the humans. For fun, I decided to play a game of hide and seek while they were out, only it slipped my mind to leave something to inform them of this. Really, I had the best hiding place ever, but the humans didn't seem pleased with my cleverness after they were forced to tear the house apart trying to find me. The human was very upset, and now there is much talk about sticking me on a leash, or assigning a rabbit to watch me at all times! Really, it was just an innocent game! What's so wrong with that?

Library Horrors

Does anyone know who I should call to complain about a library? Not only did that foolish place provide the human with her Cousin Kerr's obituary, but to make matters worse, it allowed a bunny to hop out with a book on growing more vegetables in less space than you thought possible! I'm sure you can imagine how pleased all of my rabbit siblings were when they saw this book, and now they are all hogging valuable space on the table that should be mine, taking turns reading it, checking out the pictures, and drawing garden diagrams. Our poor neighbors. And just when they thought they might be safe from the garden too. The library should be ashamed. What did our neighbors ever do to them?

I'm Back

I'm back, and just in time, thank goodness, seeing as the bunny made a mess out of the one simple post I asked her to hop to the library and make. Really, these rabbits are so unreliable. The human now has a shiny new computer, although she's still upset about the old one, and the trouble she now faces in getting her data off of it. She's still ranting about that, and possibly about a visit to small claims court to force the people who sold her the last defective drive to pay for this. I can only hope she calms down sometime soon, so I can have some peace, to fix the muddle that bunny made of my poor blog.

Reporting Our Brother's Whereabouts

Hello, Bebe Bunny here with an update on our brother and why he hasn't been blogging lately. He's fine, never fear, and probably lazier than ever, but the human's computer crashed a week ago today, and he is currently internetless. He thought the human was obtaining a new computer but time seems to be dragging on without a new machine being forthcoming, so he sent me hopping down to the library to post an update. He would have came himself, but the library's a bit too close to the genealogy archives for his comfort. Hopefully the human will get a computer soon, so he can get back on.

Reporting Our Brother's Whereabouts

Hello, Bebe Bunny here with an update on our brother and why he hasn't been blogging lately. He's fine, never fear, and probably lazier than ever, but the human's computer crashed a week ago today, and he is currently internetless. He thought the human was obtaining a new computer but time seems to be dragging on without a new machine being forthcoming, so he sent me hopping down to the library to post an update. He would have came himself, but the library's a bit too close to the genealogy archives for his comfort. Hopefully the human will get a computer soon, so he can get back on.

This Weekened and The Country

I heard alarming mentions of a visit to the country being scheduled for this weekend today. I do hope that this post will give all of the poor misfortunates who live in the country time to flee. The rabbits are already packing their veggie gathering sacks, the polar bears are demanding I get off the computer to give them time to search out the addresses of the closest flocks of sheep on Mapquest, and you do not want to know what Betsy Bear is doing. I can only hope that everyone in the country has doubled their insurance for they are doomed.

Child Bait

I can't believe the humans. They have purchased at least seven bags of candy to hand out to children for Halloween! You should have seen the happy dance Betsy did when they brought it in. With that much candy, she is sure that a bunch of children will be lured to the door, and thus will fall into her paws for robbery purposes. Seven bags. Oh, I shudder to think of the number of children that much candy will bring in, and then Betsy will get them! The humans should be ashamed!

Archive Visit

I couldn't choke down the bus schedule. Really, they make those things totally unpalatable. They ought to be ashamed. So, the human trotted off to the archive right after lunch, and has a ton of obituaries on order, that I'm sure will lead to nightmarish amounts of growth, of that giant tree of hers. She's making noises about going back up there tomorrow, too. Maybe I ought to find a hiding place while I still can. I'm sure that tree is a threat to public safety!

Library Visit

The human went to the library today, and came back with a bus schedule. I fear this means she is planning an archive visit, possibly tomorrow. Do I have any moral obligation to try to prevent this by eating the bus schedule while she's sleeping? It looks extremely unappetizing, but I suppose I could choke it down if I have to.

To Whom It May Concern I.E. The Sheep

If any sheep are reading this, and I do hope you are, you should know right now that your wool is doomed. Perhaps you ought to go ahead and sheer yourselves now, to save yourselves some trouble later. Another polar bear moved in here today, and naturally she didn't waste any time putting her fluffy head together with the other polar bears to plot quilt construction and how wool might be obtained for batting in these quilts. I now have four full sized polar bear sisters and three cub nephews, so I'm sure you can see that there is no way your wool will be spared. And that's assuming that they don't draft some other members of my 659 siblings to assist them in wool gathering. I would place an order for sweaters now. Perhaps you can get some sort of group rate.

Genealogy Horrors

The human heard from a cousin today, and now she is bouncing around, celebrating a potential genealogical success. I have a very bad feeling that confirming this might mean a trip to the country, though, and possibly to the location where that bakery that Betsy attacked the first time the human met with this cousin is situated. Those poor bakery employees. I do hope their insurance covers them for two Betsy induced traumas in less than two months.

Upcoming Horror Season

I trust that everyone is starting their preparations right now for this year's upcoming horror season, that will hit full force in a few weeks, when children go trotting around, carrying sacks, and collecting goodies. Really, those children's parents should be charged with negligence for allowing such activities. All it does is to expose their children to crime with all of that candy in one place, attracting Betsy Bear. She's already got every snitching sack in the house out, in anticipation, and she's planning to place an order for a few more sacks soon. Those poor, poor children. Really, do they need to learn about crime so early? They will be scared for life!

More Sale Horrors

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was trying to recover from the trauma of those church sales, but a rest didn't help much. The human finished unpacking the bags she got, and more horrors were discovered. It turns out that in addition to all of the rabbit encouragement, she also purchased a large sack of fabric, just perfect for quilts! I think you can imagine how pleased the polar bears were to see that. They're currently going through it, to see what pieces go best with their fur, and making plans to get their paws on wool for batting. All sheep in the area should probably put an order in now for sweaters, for their wool is doomed!

Punishing the Church

After the trouble they have caused, I can only pray that Betsy helped herself to every goodie that those pesky churches were trying to peddle today. You won't believe what they did! First of all, one of the churches had a rabbit lurking about, and as soon as the human came trotting over, of course this bunny hopped up and tackled her, begging to be allowed to move in. And to make matters worse, the adoption fee for the bunny was so reasonable, that the human was able to adopt a bear as well. I now have 657 siblings. Then, to make the horrors of the day more nightmarish, another church was selling SEED! Naturally the rabbits were thrilled to spot the giant seed display, and came hopping home with 33 packs, including an alarming number of packs saying something about giant pumpkins. Our poor, poor neighbors are doomed!

Opening New Rentals

I just realized something yesterday. The humans have a whole attic that they really aren't using, except to store the Christmas decorations, and the flowers that they lag to the cemeteries every year while Betsy runs wild and torments the mountain bears. If I could install a hole up there, I could rent out the space to any number of birds in need of winter lodging. I'm sure that there are tons of them who are tired of that long commute south, after all, and who would love to nest in a nice attic for the winter. Does anyone have suggestions for how to advertise? I'm going to tell my woodpecker tenant to invite all of his friends.

Sue the Newspaper too!

I am going to sue the newspaper too, for endangering us all. That is the only thing to do. Despite the encouragement it offers to that giant tree, every time the do this, they insist on continuing to print obituaries, and just a few minutes ago, the human was pleased as anything to find an obituary for Cousin Betty Jean. It's going to add another page to that family book of hers for sure, and I can see the tree growing right in front of me. I wonder if I could recruit my woodpecker tenant to help me out, and to hop into the upper limbs to do a bit of pruning?

Upcoming Horrors

I do hope that everyone who lives up in the country by the lake the humans are fond of has had time to double their property insurance and hide their food. The human has heard of a festival up that way, that she is now dying to attend, and of course if she goes, Betsy Bear will be accompanying her. I understand there will be a lot of food at this event which can only lead to a disaster with that bear on the loose. She's already been poking around, getting out the big snitching sacks in anticipation of upcoming goodie grabbing. And to make matters worse, a church always has a large sale during this festival, with baked goods poked out right where Betsy is sure to see them. I can only hope that all of those poor people are saying their prayers now, for their doom will be arriving on Saturday, on little bear feet!

Chills

The weather has taken a turn to the chilly side around here, which has made the bunnies develop concerns about their plants. They're talking about hopping out to purchase materials to construct mini-greenhouses and tents for them, and I don't like the way that they keep checking out my cat bed, and saying how perfect the location that it's currently situated in would be for their strawberry pot! I just know they're going to try to move that thing indoors, and then I will be expected to help look after it!

Yesterday's Bunny Holiday

I'm afraid International Rabbit Day went very well for my bunny siblings. All of their fellow rabbits agreed that they are true masters of bunny craftmanship, which I'm sure is going to give those bunnies a ton of encouragement in their pursuit of gardening glory. Who is in charge of holidays like this, anyway? I ought to turn whoever it is over to our neighbors. Thanks to them cooking up that horrible rabbit celebration, the poor neighbors are sure to be homeless soon. The encouragement the bunnies got will undoubtedly lead to the doubling of the garden in size!

International Rabbit Day

I trust all of my readers survived today's horrible events, with bunnies everywhere celebrating International Rabbit Day. How in the world the bunnies managed to get a holiday devoted to them, I'll never know. Isn't it bad enough that they have that day in spring when the head rabbit comes hopping around lagging baskets of goodies and practically daring Betsy to try to snag him? I would have warned you about today yesterday, so you would have had time to lock yourselves safely away, but the bunnies were distracted by their rooting work, and didn't let me know until bright and early this morning that it was an official bunny holiday. You don't want to know the horrors I have seen today. Rabbits have been everywhere, partying and stuffing themselves silly with vegetables. And then they amused themselves with a marathon of televsion and movies, staring rabbits! I think I might be developing insomnia from the noise!

Rooting Update

The bunnies popped their strawberry vine in for rooting purposes today. They're sure that they will get several plants, possibly as many as six, out of the one vine, and goodness knows what could happen if they bring it in for the winter. It will probably take over the house by spring if that happens. I spotted one of the rabbits scouting out a place for the pot the strawberries are currently rooting in, right next to my cat bed. That doesn't seem to be a good sign at all, and there is much alarming talk about how they ought to try rooting a ton of other stuff too, while they're at it!

Rooting

The rabbits have obtained rooting material, and are making plans to plant the strawberry to start rooting first thing in the morning. I can only assume this is a sign of disaster to come. And what if these strawberries root and grow? I have heard that strawberries send out something dangerous called runners. The bunnies are planning to keep their plants in here all fall and winter, to let them get a good start. Who knows how much they could grow, especially if these runners get loose?

Mailman Must Pay

I think I'll send out Christmas cards this year, to every cat that I know, and possibly to every rabbit that my bunny siblings have invited over as well. That out to make a nice, fat load for that pesky mailman. You won't believe what he has done this time. He actually lagged a package, filled with strawberry plants for rooting, to our doorstep for the bunnies! Needless to say, they were thrilled, and now they're plotting to obtain special dirt for maximum rooting potential. Does anyone know how hazardous strawberries are to our neighbors' continuing homeownership?

Relative Meeting

The human met with that visiting relative again, and she came home alarmingly happy, with much talk about future meetings, to grow the tree being scheduled. Does anyone know the best way to control wild growth of plant life? The human is talking about visiting the mountains next, to show off graves and houses, and that will surely lead to disaster for those poor mountain bears, if Betsy accompanies them, as she always does. The human's already added a new limb just tonight!

In the Mail

The mailman foolishly lagged a big envelope stuffed with genealogy materials to the human's mailbox today. Really, it will serve him right with the stuff he keeps bringing her if he then has to deliver piles of her genealogy books. And I think I might make him deliver some flyers advertising my participation in that PetSmart contest, too. Really, with the encouragement he keeps giving my human, it's only fair that he's punished in some way.

Good News for a Change

I have good news for a change! The human has entered me in a contest at PetSmart. I urge all of my readers to go here right away and vote for me. The prize is a commercial appearance, and I would look so nice on television. Okay, so the rabbits are hopping around, saying that I can use the commercial to promote their tales of rabbit terror. I can deal with that. There's a thing called a green room, I hear tale, on television sets. That sounds like the kind of place for bunnies. They'll be so busy stuffing themselves silly with veggies that they'll forget about hopping onto the set. Vote for me right away, and vote often!

Genealogy Talks

Does anyone know how I can best hide magazines and block sites that provide information about genealogy and future talks on genealogy? The human has found out about another place, offering a series of talks on the horrible family tree, and now she's all fired up, wanting to go. And to make matters worse, they are holding this event near one of the branches of that nightmarish tree, which will surely give her more material for its continued growth. Isn't there a law someplace, against such a large piece of horticulture?

The Election Commission

Does anyone know how I can go about suing the local election commission? They allowed an obvious lunatic on the ballot, and to make matters worse, the loon won, and has now restored the library and even worse, the genealogy archives, to full operating hours! The shrunken hours were the only thing saving us all from that tree reaching monster heights! We are doomed, we are all doomed, thanks to this loony! The human is even looking into sending him a nice fat cake as a thank you gift, which is surely a sign that she plans to take full advantage of the additional hours of research time.

Hives

Tonight's blog will be a bit short. I suspect the human will be in wanting to sleep shortly. She is covered in hives, and was forced to take a medication that knocks her out. Betsy Bear is the chief suspect in this hive reaction.

Bakery Disaster

The human met with a cousin today, to discuss that tree. Normally, that would be the bad part, but then something happened to overshadow potential tree growth. The human went off with this cousin, and Betsy Bear was left to wait in the car, right outside of a bakery. I am now afraid to turn on the television, because I am sure that bear will be on the news, as the main suspect in the poor bakery's robbery and in the nervous breakdowns of the bakery employees! Really, doesn't the human know better than to do such a thing by now?

Squirrels

I am going to sue the squirrels for every nut that they have. One of those pests was playing around this morning, juggling nuts, I do believe, when a nut when a bit too high, and the next thing we knew, a transformer had blown. We didn't lose power here, thank goodness, but until the human found out what happened, there was much discussion amongst the teddies on whether the noise could call for an emergency evacuation of the house, and if so, the best way to lag me out. They have currently decided that the best way to do this is to stuff me into a cardboard box, and seal it with duct tape until I am safely locked in the car, and all teddies are loaded up as well. And they're talking about practicing this as well! Does anyone know where I can get a box cutter on short notice?

Dry Cleaning

Does anyone know the best place to get a fur suit dry cleaned? I'm sure my poor fur needs it. The human is still sad and depressed over her plans to sell those books falling apart like they did, and she spent the morning sobbing over it. Do you know the damage that tears can do to fur? I'm sure that the salt is sapping away all of the moisture from my fur, and making it dry and brittle.

Upcoming Sogginess

My poor fur. I'll have to have it dry-cleaned, I'm sure. The human just found out that over a thousand children are attending that reenactment tomorrow, which seems like it might bode well for the weekend crowd. She's sure all of her books would sell, and she would probably get orders for more, too, and now she can't go. She tears up every time she thinks about it, which is murder on the fur. I wonder if I should demand the bunnies hop out to purchase a rain coat for me? And even worse, if all of those books sold, think of the money that I could then figure ways to get my paws on! Now I'm getting depressed over this situation!

Human's Plans Failed

The human's plan to attend that reenactment to talk about the horrible family tree, and to sell her books has completely fallen apart, leaving me with a sobbing human, and danger of fur damage due to tears. And, to make matters worse, I actually saw her coil a couple of books, just to see how it would work, and apparently what the rabbits said coil insertion was is completely different than the actual job, because what the human did looked like fun, and something I'm sure that I could do so much better than her. Only now she's so upset, she isn't wanting to try to put together anymore books, not ones related to that awful tree and not ones for the church! Now what am I going to do? 200 coils, and unless the human produces books, I won't get to get my paws on a single one!

Saving Myself Phase Two

I stepped up my plans to save myself from being forced to coil all of those books today. While the human was snoozing, I found one of my groundhog siblings' party guests, who was still napping in the yard from their last gathering, and I bribed him wiht a can of peas to waddle out to the office store for a bit of sabotage. Needless to say, the human wasn't please to get a call, saying the hole punch was broken! She's trying another store now, so I suppose as soon as she goes to bed, I'll have to send that groundhog on another mission. I don't care how many monkeywrenches it takes, I am stopping book production! I just hope the monkeys don't need a wrench for something before I am through.

Book Update

The books are at the office store, awaiting hole punching. Apparently that takes more than one day to do 100 books. One one hand, this is good, since it will mean that my poor paws will be spared coil work for a few more days, but on the down side, it means that when the books are done, coil inserting will be rushed. I'll likely have a bunny standing over me, telling me to insert faster, and poking me with a carrot the entire time!

My Nightmare Continues

The humans collated all of the books today, with the assistance of the rabbits, and added covers and backs. 100 books are now in two boxes, awaiting a trip to the office store for hole punching, and then back home for me to wear my little paws out, on the coil insertion line. I tried to sabotage things by leaping into the middle of the collating line, but I was captured, and locked up until they were through. I have never suffered so much in my life, being locked up, being poked repeatedly with carrots, and the worst is yet to come with those coils!

Snifff, Sniff, Sniff

She did it. She really did it. Thanks to those rabbits, guarding the ink, and using carrots to make me keep my distance, the human was able to finish her printing. There is now a stack of papers, a foot and a half high, awaiting hole punching, and then coil insertion. My poor paws hurt just thinking about it!

Book Production Setbacks

I was able to drain a bit of ink from the second ink cartridge when the bunny who was guarding it hopped off for a second to arm herself with a carrot to use as a weapon. I didn't get nearly enough of it, though, because the human is almost half done with printing all of the pages she needs. And she purchased two more cartridges, that are supposed to be packed with extra ink to give her more pages. She expects if things continue t the present rate to have all pages printed tonight. And, to make matters worse, all of the rabbits have armed themselves with carrots and are hopping back and forth in front of the new ink to make sure I can't get it.

Saving Myself Phase One Complications

I've suffered a little setback on Phase One of preventing book production. The human went out and got not one but two, fresh cartridges of ink this afternoon. She's just started printing, and to make matters worse, I think the rabbits are suspicious of me. A bunny is standing guard over the ink at the moment. Any ideas for how I can distract her, to get rid of the second cartridge?

Disney

Disney has finally opened their new animal hotel. See the post about it here. And can I say how eager I am to try it out? Sure, it seems like it mainly caters to dogs, but with only thirty cat guests at a time, we felines will be an exclusive bunch, with only the best kitties getting in. Of course, I would have to take the trip in Betsy Bear's company, but we wouldn't be at the same hotel. The staff over at Kitty City would never have to know that I'm related to that bear, right?

Saving Myself Phase One

Phase one of my plan to save myself from being forced to spend Labor Day laboring to insert a bunch of coils into books has begun. The human got everything together, and was happily anticipating working on her books today, to have them ready to have holes punched for coil insertion tomorrow. Well, I tossed a monkeywrench into that! I sabotaged her ink! It conked out on her, before she could get past her first page of printing. Really, it was my most brilliant idea ever, if I do say so myself. Now if I can just figure out how to prevent the purchase of more ink, I will be golden. Oh, and if I can just prevent the monkeys from wandering by to ask where their wrench went, that would be good too.