Reciprocating

Does anyone know of there are any rules for reciprocating Christmas gifts? More specifically, are there rules for what a good, decent feline should do if you work hard each year, and send gifts to relations, who constantly forget to gift you with something in return? I don't blame the dogs, of course. They're shut-ins, who aren't allowed out of their yard to go shopping, but really, what in the world is their human thinking? Is there something that I should be doing about this situation? For several years this has gone on, with my gifting these canines with no return gift. Should I assume their human is horribly prejudiced against felines?

Dogs, Just When You Were Doing Good

Dogs, just when you were doing well, and I thought you might be getting the hang of proper behavior, you go and do this. Really, you should be so ashamed. The human limped down to the food co-op, that den of rabbit encouragement, this morning, in search of something to use to help her poor foot. And do you know what they had there? Dog drinking fountains set up right in the front, and even worse, dog BEDS, undoubtedly so you canines could take a snooze between helping rabbit customers hop to their vehicles with their vegetable and seed purchases! The horrors! The sheer HORRORS! Oh, dogs, you should be so ashamed, at such obvious signs of rabbit collaboration, and vegetable assistance. You should be ashamed!

Better, Dogs, But Not Quite

Dogs, you are doing better. I must give you an A for effort. The human dropped by the local mission this afternoon, and several of you barked rather vigorously at her. Now, the local mission is the place that keeps letting various homeless creatures trot off with the human, but this is where the problem was. The human had stopped there today, not to collect more siblings for me, but to pick up some mouse items, mouse music and mouse toys, designed to put my mice siblings in the mood to visit their big rodent cousin. That sort of thing is what I DON'T want discouraged. I suggest looking in the window, to check the items in the human's hands first, before barking from now on.

Must Visit the Mouse

I don't know what is taking my siblings so long, contacting their large rodent cousin, but really, they need to hurry up. We need to depart right away to visit him. Frankly, we ought to have left yesterday to visit him. Not only did the humans have to go visit that ill relation yesterday, with a possible return trip tomorrow or Monday, but that relation of a relation also managed to die. I'm sure he'll insist upon having a funeral too, which can only lead to great inconvenience for me. I'm sure the human will offer to dog and cat sit, and who knows if the dogs are the civilized sort or not? Their cat siblings have their own feline apartment, after all, so they might have failed to introduce their siblings to decent behavior. Yes, I definitely have to leave right away, before anyone gets the idea into their head that I should devote my time to possibly reforming any delinquents.

Bad, Bad Dogs

Oh, Dogs, you should be ashamed of yourself. You should hang your heads, droop your ears and fly your tails at half-mast. Really, how could you be this rotten? The human went uptown again today, and once more there were a ton of dogs, trotting around that horrible farmer's market, not doing a thing to prevent vegetable purchases. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the canines weren't even encouraging them by offering to help rabbits with their purchases, and toting baskets to vehicles. And dogs, as if that horrible behavior wasn't enough, there was a genealogy fest up there today, and did you raise a paw to prevent this horrible event? Oh, NO! You trotted around it, not causing a bit of trouble. I'm sure some of you even poked your noses into booths, looking for information on your family tree. You ought to be ashamed. The human has already added a new limb to that tree, and probably sold who knows how many books, thanks to that thing. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, you organized some sort of historical costume contest for visitors of the four legged variety! Only the fact that the bunnies couldn't find an appropriate outfit, due to Betsy refusing to share her bear sized weapons kept me from being forced to take part! You should be ashamed of yourselves!

Dogs!

Dogs, what in the world are you thinking? The bunnies hopped to that farmers market with the human today, and they reported spotting canines everywhere. Businesses even had drinking fountains put out for them! Drinking fountains! What is next, all you can eat canine snack bars? And those dogs weren't doing a thing to discourage the vegetable fest either. They were probably encouraging it. Really, dogs, what were you thinking? All of those vegetables, and rabbits hopping around, probably getting their paws on nightmarish amounts of snacks and seeds, without your doing a thing to stop them! What were you thinking? And now, since the bunnies have seen how nice things are, and how happy all of the canines seem to be with the arrangements at the farmers market, they are sure that a feline will be just as happy, and are making arrangements to lag me along on their next visit! I hold every dog responsible for my pending vegetable exposure!

Dogs!

Okay, Dogs, just what did I do to offend canines so much? Because surely I've done something or you dogs think I've done something, due to the latest horror, a giant stack of magazines, devoted to canines, that are to be stuffed into the goodie bags for that horrible reunion. I was napping, but I suspect a canine of dropping them off. So, dogs, what in the world happened to get all of you so upset with me, that you're devoting your time to encouraging those goodie bags to get bigger?

Today's Disaster

The human went to the book sale today, and to the archives too, and after this, I just have one question. What in the world have I done to offend the canine population? First the dog neighbors attack that cat and get the bunnies all fired up about getting to testify against them, and now I have learned that a batch of pups attended this horrible book event, and yet they didn't do a thing to stop the human from gathering material that is sure to lead to disaster for me. And there were more dogs by the archives, and they didn't raise a paw to prevent the human from getting those obituaries! Dogs, what did I do wrong, that you seem bound and determined to cause me such trouble?

Et Tu, Dogs?

Oh, and speaking of the goodie horrors, I just learned that a DOG was present in the store when the human was gathering these things. A dog was present, and the canine in question didn't do a single thing to prevent the growing goodie horrors! Really, this pup ought to be ashamed of himself. Is this because of those comments I made when I was poked in the doghouse? Because, really, you canines can't hold that against me at all. I'm sure your doghouses are lovely places, and I might like one too, if I wasn't being forced in there, and made to stay there by a batch of delinquent rabbits. There is no need to punish me by assisting with the goodie horrors!

House Guests?

Okay, I am now getting concerned. I heard the human talking just a bit ago, and she was saying something about how she was sure that I would just love having my dog cousins drop by for a few days to visit, so she can get a ride to that horrible battle to sell her books. Now, I have nothing against dogs, but these don't seem like the most disciplined canines in the world, and I would undoubtedly be expected to spend valuable napping time reforming them! Not to mention, what if the bunnies recruited them for gardening excavation duties? Mud and dirt everywhere, and I'm sure I would be held responsible. Does anyone know how to repel potential house guests?