More Crime

We keep finding out about more crime on the internet.  Now we have learned that someone has organized a group of MONKEYS into a criminal gang!  Someone has led poor, innocent monkeys into a life of crime, and we are very suspicious that Betsy and her criminal relations know something about this.  When we spotted the video about these monkeys Betsy happened to be passing while we were viewing, and we didn't like the way she chuckled at all.  Corrupting monkeys!  We ought to turn that bear in to the LAW!

The Country Fast Approaches

The weekend, and thus the human's plans to visit the country, are fast approaching. Oh, woe is me! What did I do so wrong to deserve capture and vegetable exposure? My one slight hope is that the grandhuman mentioned possibly allowing me to stay at home, but that could end badly too. The last time I was left alone for any length of time, my food dish ended up empty along with both back-ups. At least if that happened, with the bunnies in the country, I wouldn't be facing vegetables, but it would be just my luck that the monkeys would offer to fill my dish with BANANAS! Really, this weekend is shaping up to be a total disaster!

Today's Sibling Update

I now have 702 siblings. Once more the human dropped by the local mission, and was tackled by a homeless animal who begged to move in. My one comfort is that this latest animal is a monkey. At least monkeys are fruitaterians, unlike the vegetarian bunnies, so I am safe from attempts to convert me. True, the monkey does swing down and offer me a bite of his banana now and then, but at least he isn't pushy about his chosen foods, unlike the rabbits. I think I could start to tolerate monkeys as relations.

What Did I do to the Church?

What did I do so wrong that the church is out to get me? Because surely they think I did something. Oh, you won't believe the horror that I experienced this morning, thanks to that place. The human dropped by this church, that was having some sort of event involving hot dogs, and she was promptly tackled by various animals with tales of woe about being homeless. I now have seven more siblings, including a monkey, a reindeer, a cow, three bears, and worst of all, another polar bear! I am up to 683 siblings. Woe is me! The only comfort I can see is the cow. She's a truly lazy creature. I asked her for milk, thinking I would be able to at least get snacks from her, and she refused, saying she doesn't do that sort of work. Maybe I can get the bunnies interested in reforming this cow into an industrious creature instead of their many plots to make me work? I'm sure they won't be impressed at all by her refusal to work at milking. They probably think she ought to produce milk and churn up cheese and butter from it too. At least I hope so. Tricking them into harassing her is my only hope!

Saving Myself Phase Two

I stepped up my plans to save myself from being forced to coil all of those books today. While the human was snoozing, I found one of my groundhog siblings' party guests, who was still napping in the yard from their last gathering, and I bribed him wiht a can of peas to waddle out to the office store for a bit of sabotage. Needless to say, the human wasn't please to get a call, saying the hole punch was broken! She's trying another store now, so I suppose as soon as she goes to bed, I'll have to send that groundhog on another mission. I don't care how many monkeywrenches it takes, I am stopping book production! I just hope the monkeys don't need a wrench for something before I am through.

Saving Myself Phase One

Phase one of my plan to save myself from being forced to spend Labor Day laboring to insert a bunch of coils into books has begun. The human got everything together, and was happily anticipating working on her books today, to have them ready to have holes punched for coil insertion tomorrow. Well, I tossed a monkeywrench into that! I sabotaged her ink! It conked out on her, before she could get past her first page of printing. Really, it was my most brilliant idea ever, if I do say so myself. Now if I can just figure out how to prevent the purchase of more ink, I will be golden. Oh, and if I can just prevent the monkeys from wandering by to ask where their wrench went, that would be good too.

Banana Melon

I'm a bit worried about the banana melon that the bunnies planted. It's in a nice, warm spot right now, right next to the dryer vent, and that's sure to encourage its growth. And the growth of something called banana melon is sure to attract such pests as monkeys! I checked the mail today, come to think of it, and there was a letter in there from a C.G. Monkey and the return address was the zoo. Oh, I shudder to think of what will happen when the banana squash gets going too. That's bound to attract gorillas. Do you suppose the neighbors will mind too much monkeys hanging out in the yard soon?

New Bag of Seed! Blame the Seed Bank!

The bunnies deposited some of their little seeds from the seed bank in a baggie to start. I'm trying to comfort myself with the idea that they only poked in a few seeds per variety, but still, there were so many! They've got white cucumber, boxcar willie tomatoes, Amish paste tomatoes, brandywine black tomatoes, Cherokee chocolate tomatoes, Queen Anne's pocket melon, sucrine du berry which is some sort of squash, banana melon, that's bound to attract monkeys, Thai cucumber, spaghetti squash, patissons panache blanc and vert, another kind of odd squash, Chinese yellow cucumber, moon and stars watermelon, jumbo pink banana squash, with how large that seed is, I fear it will attract GORILLAS, Cinderella pumpkin and bushel gourd. I am expecting an angry call from the zoo soon based on all of the banana like stuff the rabbits are working to plant. Can I be held in any way, shape or form accountable for monkey escapes and Gorilla Valley being deserted? And I'm sure the neighbors will have objections to those animals loitering around the yard, snacking and partying with the rabbits. And as for those Amish seed, isn't it bad enough that the pesky Amish keep my human so fascinated with their quiltwork? Do they have to snag rabbit attention too? I knew they were up to something sneaky!