Lock your Chimneys!

Lock your chimneys! Lock them right away! Hurry before it is too late! Every household is in danger tonight! The new reindeer, who arrived last week, was giving some flying demonstrations to my other reindeer siblings, and the next thing you know, Betsy had a horrible idea in her head. She captured all of the reindeer, all five of them, and has them hitched up to a sleigh! She's going to take to the air at any moment to go on a crime spree to end all crime sprees! She has a rope to slide down the chimneys, and sacks to hold every cookie, pie cake and present she can get her paws on! We're doomed! Doomed, I tell you, doomed! Lock your chimneys now while you still have time!

Tail Adjustment

I'm back and you won't believe the trouble I am facing now. One of the bunnies and two of the reindeer herd rode to the human's chiropractor appointment this afternoon, and now they have got an awful notion in their fluffy heads. They think my tail is out of alignment, and that I should see a chiropractor right away to get it adjusted! My tail is perfectly aligned, I will have them know, and don't think I am not suspicious. All of them have short, fluffy little tails. I think they are plotting to have my long, slender tail adjusted into their tail style!

Reindeer on a Bus

The reindeer was placed on a bus this evening, heading for our house. I expect she'll be here soon, although it will be my luck she will want to stop somewhere to shop first. All of my siblings and impending siblings seem to love shopping. I hope this reindeer wasn't one Santa needs, is all I can say. And if she is, I hope Santa won't hold her moving against me. It certainly wasn't my idea, and it also wasn't my idea for a bear to move along with her!

Rabbit Horde

The human let eleven bunnies hop out with her this afternoon, when she went to visit a lawyer. Why she needed to let the bunnies accompany her to a legal office is something I will never understand, but they have convinced her totally of the power of their feet to bring good luck, so they get a trip whenever she heads into any situation involving legal matters. They have her conned completely. Anyway, they came back chattering to themselves. Apparently they stopped at the homeless shelter looking to pick up one of my reindeer siblings' relations, only to find that they must make arrangements for her arrival via the internet, so now they are demanding I get off of here so they can by the deer a bus ticket to the house. And you know that they will insist that she doesn't travel alone so who knows how many siblings I might end up with soon!

What Did I do to the Church?

What did I do so wrong that the church is out to get me? Because surely they think I did something. Oh, you won't believe the horror that I experienced this morning, thanks to that place. The human dropped by this church, that was having some sort of event involving hot dogs, and she was promptly tackled by various animals with tales of woe about being homeless. I now have seven more siblings, including a monkey, a reindeer, a cow, three bears, and worst of all, another polar bear! I am up to 683 siblings. Woe is me! The only comfort I can see is the cow. She's a truly lazy creature. I asked her for milk, thinking I would be able to at least get snacks from her, and she refused, saying she doesn't do that sort of work. Maybe I can get the bunnies interested in reforming this cow into an industrious creature instead of their many plots to make me work? I'm sure they won't be impressed at all by her refusal to work at milking. They probably think she ought to produce milk and churn up cheese and butter from it too. At least I hope so. Tricking them into harassing her is my only hope!

New Year's Update

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been laying low in case the authorities came poking around wanting to find out where Betsy got that load of electronics that she lagged to the pawn shop. Really, if you want to see a truly frightening sight, imagine that bear coming trotting in, lagging a large pile of money. Heaven only knows what she is planning to do with the cash. Oh, and those reindeer are still tied up in the backyard too. I'm sure that's a horrible sign that she's planning to use them for some additional crimes later on in the month. Or perhaps for Valentines' Day. Being able to get airborne would probably help her to attack Cupid for his candy easier.

Betsy's Christmas Success

I'm very sorry to say that Christmas was a big success for Betsy. I do hope that no one asked Santa for any gifts that they urgently needed, because those wishes are doomed to go unfilled. All edible goodies have been munched down, and any valuables such as jewelry or electronics are going to the local pawn shop come Monday to raise more money for snacks. And if you requested a sweater, Betsy's likely already sold it to a sheep somewhere in anticipation of their upcoming wool loss due to the polar bears. The best thing that I can suggest for all of you, is to just try to forget this holiday ever happened. That's what I'm going to be doing, or at least I will if Betsy ever does something with the reindeer currently loitering in the backyard.

Santa's Doom Approaches

Poor Santa. In less than twenty-four hours, he is doomed. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what should be done with the reindeer, once Santa falls into Betsy's clutches? The prancing and pawing upon the roof will surely disturb my rest if they're allowed to stay unsupervised. Betsy has hung the chimney with traps, sure to snag Santa, so she can get her paws on his sack, and on all of the goodies therein. I do hope that no one spent too much time composing him a letter with wishes, for thanks to that bear, you will not be getting a thing. And for goodness sakes, don't leave any cookies unattended tomorrow night! It will attract her to your home for sure!

Santa

I would like to wish my readers a Merry Christmas, along with extending an apology to anyone who might have been missing goodies under their tree this morning. There was an "incident" with Santa when he dropped by here. Betsy Bear was lurking in the living room and needless to say she attacked his sack. I think she somehow got onto the roof too, because I kept hearing frantic shouts from reindeer instead of the prancing and pawing that I understand is customary for such animals. Unfortunately, Santa did leave something for me, a new collar complete with bell. The rabbits forged my name on a letter requesting this. They claim it will be just perfect for when I am forced to travel with them promoting books.