Preparing for Horror

We hope everyone is preparing for the horror of the weekend when that poor fellow Cupid is supposed to take flight to spread love and candy.  Betsy has a giant net all ready for her, and her extra large snitching sack out.  We are very concerned.  Especially since the human is discussing visiting the mountains, where many other humans will be congregating to attempt to get married this weekend for the holiday.  Those poor, poor people.  As if it isn't bad enough that Betsy is planning to capture Cupid and rob him of his candy, bow and arrows, she is probably going to snitch all of those poor people's wedding cakes as well!  We just hope they bought wedding insurance, but does insurance cover Betsy Bear attacks?

Valentine Horrors

Valentine's Day went as badly as expected. Betsy attacked Cupid, and helped herself to every bit of chocolate she could get her paws on. And even worse, she snatched his bow and arrows. We're not sure what she wants them for. She claims she intends to have a leprechaun hunt for Saint Patrick's Day so she can get her paws on pots of gold that can be converted to truck loads of gold foil wrapped chocolates. Does anyone know how to contact the leprechauns? We probably should warn them now they are doomed.

Poor Cupid

Well, poor Cupid is going to try once again to flutter though the air tomorrow, to spread love and romance. And Betsy is laying plans to capture him, in case some of the spread of romance involves the gifting of boxes of candy. Really, she's been robbing children of all of their cookies all week. Couldn't she let Cupid be this year? We were hoping to ask him to find our brother for us and drop him off!

Valentine Horrors

Well, I don't have a new sibling yet, although the bunnies keep pointing out to me that the night is still young, and Amazon is happy to provide new family members. I can only hope they do not decide to take in an elephant from there. After the horrors I have experienced today, that is the last thing that I need. Betsy was out in full force today, celebrating the day of love by looting. I do hope no one wanted to experience romance with food on this happy occasion, for if you did, you are doomed to a massive disappointment. Betsy took to the air in that purloined sled, and I'm not entirely sure what she did, and I'm not sure it's safe to know, but there are now feathers in the swimming pool, and that delinquent bear has a bow and arrows in her possession. I can only assume that she attacked Cupid for all of his heart shaped boxes of chocolate. Should your sweetheart have made the claim that one of those was purchased for you, and then went missing, please see the rabbits tomorrow to remove the remains from the backyard. Oh, and should you have been trying to get married today, well, really you ought to have known better, shouldn't you? Everyone knows that the wedding chapels do a brisk business today, and Betsy has made careful note of all of them. You can collect your cake toppers in the morning. Please line up to the left of the people collecting the remains of the boxes of chocolate.

New Year's Update

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been laying low in case the authorities came poking around wanting to find out where Betsy got that load of electronics that she lagged to the pawn shop. Really, if you want to see a truly frightening sight, imagine that bear coming trotting in, lagging a large pile of money. Heaven only knows what she is planning to do with the cash. Oh, and those reindeer are still tied up in the backyard too. I'm sure that's a horrible sign that she's planning to use them for some additional crimes later on in the month. Or perhaps for Valentines' Day. Being able to get airborne would probably help her to attack Cupid for his candy easier.

Valentines' Day Apology

I would like to offer my apologies to anyone who planned to give their sweetheart chocolate today, only to find their purchased heart missing. You can stop by here after two tomorrow to pick up the remains. I'm afraid that Betsy had a feast. And if you were expecting Cupid to drop by, I'm very sorry about that, too, but Betsy attacked him in case he was carrying food like Santa and the Easter Bunny. I found a mass of feathers on our doorstep, but I do think he managed to escape with his life. So, if you want romance, you may have to wait until his wings grow back. You all have my apologies.