Rent

Do you suppose Brother will wonder what happened to the rent money from the hole he is renting out when he gets back?  It just occurred to us that he might ask about that at some point.  We've been collecting it, you see, along with some money for a few new bird tenants.  There's no way he can demand we repay him, right?  He fled and left us to manage the property.  All cash should count as bunny money as a result.

Geese

Does anyone know what sort of living accommodations geese like? I just learned that a flock of these birds are living down by the creek only a couple of blocks away. That creek is on public land, and I don't think it is very fair for the city to collect money for renting to the geese, when there is a perfectly nice feline in the bird dwelling business so close by. What can I do to make my property more attractive to the geese? We've got a swimming pool with a diving board here. Don't you think they would like that much more than the boring creek?

Today's Report

No sign of that peahen or her friend, the peacock yet. I'm not sure if that's good or not. Granted, they are big birds, and I could probably get a ton of money renting a nest to them, but still, there's the noise to consider. I hate to think of how much I would be charged to get a noise clause added to the lease agreement, if I could manage to find a feline lawyer who isn't tied up helping those mountain bears with their cases against Betsy. And then there's Betsy. She's sure this peahen is an escapee from a wedding, which means cake might be in the area. So she's been stalking around all day, trying to figure out where in the world said cake might be. I'm very much afraid she's thinking of doing a house to house search soon. I wonder if I ought to call our neighbors, to warn them their food is doomed?

Peahen

There is a peahen running loose in the neighborhood. The human came back just a bit ago, and reported sighting the bird trotting down the sidewalk, possibly heading for the local church. Honestly, a peahen, and her mate the peacock is probably somewhere around here too. Okay, they are birds, and I ought to be pleased to have new birds in the neighborhood that might be in need of a new nest to rent, but I sense potential trouble. Betsy is sure that this bird is a fugitive from someone's wedding, and she's trying to make me get off line so she can find a website to learn how to capture it, and force the bird to lead her back to the wedding cake. Not to mention, I've heard that peahens and their beaus the peacocks are rather noisy to say the least. Do you know how much trouble I would have to go to, getting a noise clause drafted for a lease agreement?

Opening New Rentals

I just realized something yesterday. The humans have a whole attic that they really aren't using, except to store the Christmas decorations, and the flowers that they lag to the cemeteries every year while Betsy runs wild and torments the mountain bears. If I could install a hole up there, I could rent out the space to any number of birds in need of winter lodging. I'm sure that there are tons of them who are tired of that long commute south, after all, and who would love to nest in a nice attic for the winter. Does anyone have suggestions for how to advertise? I'm going to tell my woodpecker tenant to invite all of his friends.

Speaking of the Woodpecker

Speaking of my woodpecker tenants, I just found that youtube has a woodpecker channel, running woodpecker videos. Am I required to offer my tenants internet access so they can watch these woodpecker programs? Right now they just have access to basic cable but they're making noise about wanting educational viewing as well, which they claim these woodpecker programs would provide.

Woodpeckers

Is it legal to require tenants to list their specific species when they're filling out a rental application, or could they potentially try claiming some sort of discrimination? The grandhuman is a bit upset that my woodpecker tenant has invited a batch of his woodpecker friends to move in here and install holes right next to his. Of course, I'm thrilled to have more tenants, but the grandhuman is complaining terribly. So, I was thinking if I knew the woodpeckers' species, well, did you know there are some woodpeckers you absolutely can't evict no matter what?

Murder!

A possum or perhaps a skunk has been murdered according to the rabbits. The humans were fussing around the pool house, when they stumbled upon the corpse. Honestly, couldn't that creature find a better place to be the victim of a crime? I am expecting renters come fall for that pool house, and what reasonable turkey is going to want to rent a place where a murder occurred? Bad enough that the rabbits are planting pumpkins that I'm sure are going to be an uncomfortable reminder of Thanksgiving. Anyway, the bunnies are suspicious of the dogs next door, thinking they might have done in this possum or skunk, and are demanding I investigate and take some sort of action. Honestly, what do they want me to do, call the cops and have them drug away or something?

Birds

I just received a report that some birds have moved in down the block. When they were last seen, they were lounging in a snug little coup right outside their human's house. Now, I suppose their coup is nice enough, but it isn't netting me any cash, so how can I go about convincing those birds that they really need to move in here instead?

Scarecrow

I just caught the rabbits drawing up plans for the construction of a scarecrow for their garden. Does anyone have any suggestions for how I can prevent this thing from being put together and popped out there? I've been trying to work out how to attract the crow rental market, and I can't have something stuck in the yard that's designed to frighten away the tenants I'm looking to lure in! To make matters even worse, they're thinking of putting it up next to their mint stash, which happens to be right by some of my birdhouses! I'll never be able to rent those out if the bunnies stick up a scarecrow and make the area a bad neighborhood.

Bunny in the Backyard Update

Besides bothering the neighbors' dogs, I've seen this rabbit hopping around the poolhouse. How can I keep this rabbit from deciding to pack up his stuff and establishing it as his above-ground burrow? I have renters expected for that poolhouse already for Thanksgiving, and I certainly can't have a rabbit trying to sneak in rent free.

Foolish Gourd Purchases

The bunnies purchased the most ridiculous gourd seed that I have ever heard of this morning. First they got something called loofah, which they claim is just perfect to perking up tired ears with a brisk scrub, and for getting tails their cottoniest. And as if that wasn't bad enough, they also bought a pack of dipper gourd! They have cups! They don't need to waste a perfectly good gourd growing a drinking vessel when they should be growing houses for the rental market! I don't know what I'm going to do with their horrible choices for plants, I really don't. The seed store should be so ashamed to be supplying them.

Rental Business

Does anyone have any good suggestions for how to lure a group of geese into moving in? They're currently hanging about a pool, probably getting ready to install nests, and I'm wanting to see how I can go about getting them to rent here instead. Honestly, that pool gets money from all of the happy swimmers all summer, and doesn't need the business of renting to those geese! That is my job! So how can I convince them my pool and property are highly superior?

Seed Needed

There actually is one sort of seed that I'm going to have to risk allowing rabbits to leave the house to collect more of. It turns out that hummingbirds are supposed to like the anise plant, and apparently you can't rent a dwelling to one of those little things unless you have a snack bar for them right next door. I've got a ton of egg gourd plants sprouting so something must be done to lure in tenants. Do you think I can tell the food co-op to sell anise and only anise to the rabbits?

More Seed Moved

A pack of kohlrabi moved into a bowl this evening along with the egg gourd and three seedlings of my birdhouse gourd. I wonder when I'll need to start hanging up signs advertising my future rental properties? The egg gourd are kind of small, but I suppose they'll hold hummingbirds. I want to make sure that the birds know early that dwellings are coming on the market, though, so they can go ahead and sign up for a unit. The only bad thing about this evening's moves were that the bunnies poked more kohlrabi, mixed gourds and several paws full of those mixed beans into the vacant spaces in the bags. Do you suppose it's a bad sign that they've used half a pound of those things?

BitBY is Back

The bunny in the backyard came hopping back today. He didn't have any little suitcases with him or anything, but I just know that rabbit is up to something, and I suspect it involves installing a burrow someplace! Does anyone know how I can get rent out of him if he illegally moves in? I've seen him looking suspiciously at one of the storage buildings like he thinks it would be a lovely bunny dwelling.

Good Sprouting News for a Change!

The birdhouse gourd is sprouting! It finally decided to cooperate and start sprouting! Soon I'll have little bird dwellings growing to fill the rental market! So, when do you think I should start hanging up signs advertising the new property? I figure some birds might want to come by to check them out while they're still on the vine.

Ethical Issue

I have a serious ethical problem. Last Thanksgiving, I rented out the humans' poolhouse to a group of turkeys fleeing from what is for turkeys a day of terror. They really liked the property and the good rate they got, so they're already booked in for this Thanksgiving with a deposit paid. Now, I just found out, my human is working on a TURKEY dinner that the church is holding! How in the world am I going to hide her horrible activities from my turkey tenants? Honestly, I don't know what in the world she was thinking, offering to help with a meal of turkey when she knows I do business with turkeys! What if she serves up one of my tenants' relatives?

Rain

It's raining today, and it will be for several days. I'm very sure that after a few days of having to either sit around in dripping nests, perch on barely leafed trees, or hide under bushes, I'm going to have birds beating down my door wanting to move into a snug birdhouse. I wonder how I should best prepare for this increase in tenants? My grandhuman has some bird houses that are just going to waste as decoration that I'm sure would make lovely rentals.

W. Woodpecker

Does anyone here see anything wrong with the hole that I'm renting to my tenant, W. Woodpecker? It's a snug, insulated hole with thick walls as you can see in the picture, and highly superior to any tree around. Another cat I chat with is claiming it's a terrible hole, though, and is accusing me of being a slum landlord. I want to add, Mr. W. Woodpecker is very happy with the hole, and along with his rental, he has a pool pass for the summer months, and hopefully a birdbath will be going in soon to upgrade things. There's a lovely bird buffet just next door and he has an easy commute from his hole to his work as a pest control specialist. So, what's wrong with the property I'm renting? I think my cat friend just doesn't want to see me doing well in business. Goodness knows what he would say about the property I rented to those turkeys if I posted about it!