Zoo Break-In

We heard the oddest news today.  Apparently a bear tried to break into the zoo.  We can only assume he was planning to establish his den there, thinking the fence might prevent Betsy Bear from popping in to rob him of all of his honey.  Really, if that was his plan, he should have consulted a map.  We live maybe a mile or so from the zoo, putting it in the heart of Betsy Bear territory.  If this poor bear wants to live someplace that might be marginally safer, we recommend he apply to move in down at that large mouse's dwelling in Florida.  At least Betsy only turns up there occasionally, and they're very bear friendly.  He might even be able to find work in one of the shows.

The Bus

I don't like the way the human keeps looking at bus information at all. I'm sure that's another disaster in the making. Not only is she thinking of taking the bus in search of relations, but she's wanting to head for the birthplace of the bears, too. And you know if she goes there, all of the bears will want to go along, and they will try to drag me with them! It is a good eight hours to the bears' birthplace! Eight hours on a bus with my 742 siblings! Doesn't that violate some rule against cruel and infeline punishment? I really must find a way to block the human from visiting the buss site.

Television

The human decided to watch television tonight, and on the big television and not the computer too. I would have found a hiding place, so as to not be subjected to possible odd ideas of entertainment, but then to make the situation worse, my siblings came trotting in and took over MY table! The lot of them came trotting in, and before I knew it, I was surrounded and trapped! Forced to watch television with the bunnies, bears and the groundhogs too, since they thought one of their cousins might be in this episode. And this will repeat again next week! I wonder if I have time to sabotage the televison? I don't want to watch human programing!

Weekend

Oh, this is awful! I heard the humans talking a bit ago about an event this church is holding this weekend where there will be frightening amounts of merchandise, and likely hot dogs on sale. REally, the human just had hot dogs this evening. Does she have to munch another one down so soon? Bet apparently she wants to, because she's planning to go to this. I wonder if I have time to sabotage her clock? Such events seem to attract bears for some reason, bears that the human always invites to move in. The siblings I have here are more than enough! I don't know how I'll watch the lot of them if more move in, and believe me, they need careful observation at all times. I heard a couple of them talking just a bit ago about how nice the lawn looks, just perfect for photos, so I think they're plotting to try to do something about organizing a group photo again. We don't need more bears to make the group larger! There are only so many fur brushes around here, after all. more siblings just means an increased brushing line and longer to get a photo done. And the longer it takes, the more likely it is that I will be spotted, trapped amongst the bears, bunnies and others, waiting to pose!

Tablecloth

The human went out to the store today, in the company of a couple of bears. I knew better than to let the bunnies out, since this is the season of sales on bunny themed merchandise, 50% off or more. I thought allowing a bear out would be safe, though. I should have known better. I guess they had been talking to the rabbits, and had agreed to do them a favor, because they returned with a tablecloth, with bunnies all over it, just perfect for book signing decorating! I can't believe this. Now I'll have to keep an eye on each and every sibling, to make sure more of them don't offer the bunnies assistance in shopping for book signing goodies! I have over 700 siblings! How in the world can I watch the lot of them at once?

Where is the Law?

Where is the law when you need them? I've been pawing through the phone book for hours, but I'm still not sure who to report this to. First, the human went by a sale this church was having, and a couple of homeless bears were there, visiting the food pantry in search of honey. Naturally, they pounced on her, and naturally, she invited them to move in. I have 724 siblings now, a number that causes cold chills to think of. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, the bears and bunnies have done some thinking on the books, and they have came up with the perfect picture for the back of the book, a group shot of all of them gathered together! Do you know how long it will take for 724 bears to get situated and get their fur perfect for such a photo? And they've already informed me that I will be expected to appear in this family shot! It will take them hours to get posed, and I will be expected to be in attendance the entire time! And they're wanting to take the photo on the front porch too, where everyone will see me posing with bears! Where in the world is the law!

How Worried Should I Be?

How worried do you think I should be? The bears spent all afternoon brushing and fluffing their fur, in anticipation of possible photo sessions. You should have seen the lot of them, primping and trying to get their fur it's nicest. And just now I spotted the bunnies, doing the same thing, and heard them talking about THEIR cover! I think the human might be making plans to go ahead and order the cover for her bunny novels at the same time that she orders the illustrations for the bear books! A cover is one of the final steps before publication! What in the world can I do to stop this? And how worried should I be that I heard the bunnies talking about applying the brush to ME next?

Happy Bear Meals

The remains of Happy Bear Meals are all over the house. I can't believe the bears actually got their paws on so many of the things already. They have a giant stack of coupons for various bear merchandise, and they're planning a shopping spree for little clothes and other things, that I'm sure will only result in trouble for me. I'm not sure how it will cause trouble for me just yet, but I know it will. I hope that rotten clown is ashamed of himself for this. And did you know that the only thing they've offered me so far is one slightly burnt fry!

The Clown

You won't believe what that horrible clown who runs the restaurants the polar bears like to visit has done. I'm sure it can be held against him in a court of law. That clown has produced meals for bears and is selling them! Happy Bear Meals, with a coupon for bear related merchandise as the enclosed prize! First feeding them, and then providing encouragement to shop! What in that clown thinking? I ought to turn the Hamburgler loose on him for this. Now the bears are making plans to all trot down there right away for a meal! And they're even thinking about lagging me along, to help eat and get more coupons for goodies! Dining with bears. I will never live it down, and to make matters worse, fish is not one of the menu options for the Happy Bear Meals. I will see that clown in court for this! I will sue him for every pair of floppy shoes that he has!

Horrible, Horrible Saturday

I don't think a day could go worse if it tried. I swear, I never imagined so many horrors in one day were possible, yet there they were, bright and early this morning. First, the humans went out to breakfast and a funeral home, and a bear trotted along. It was a relatively well behaved bear too, so I wasn't too worried. Needless so say, I should have been. That bear was supposed to get a honey breakfast, visit the funeral home with the humans and return right home! But, oh, you won't believe what she did! She visited the homeless shelter! She visited Habitat for Humanity! When that bear returned home she had two more siblings for me, three magazines on quilt construction for the polar bears and a magazine on cottage design for the bunnies! I have never seen such in my life! I'm up to 721 siblings, and I don't like how the bunnies are reading their magazine, making notes and looking at me either! I think I must ban all bears from venturing out in the future. It just isn't safe for me!

Wart Report

The human limped off to the doctor today, to get that wart looked at, in the company of a bear and the anteater, and the next thing I know she's limping home, in worse condition than she left in. Apparently the doctor decided to try to scrape a bit of wart skin off with a scalpel or something, and needless to say, it didn't go well. The human is practically sobbing from pain at the moment, and her foot usage is very limited. Really, why in the world didn't that bear do something to prevent this? Now how will get proper service?

Shopping

The bears found a place having a sale on bear items tomorrow, I am very sorry to say. They've been scurrying about gathering money for a little shopping expedition ever since they got the news. I really ought to go and check my hiding places, to make sure that none of their gathered money is mine. I really don't think they're paying proper attention to where they're getting their funding. Really, what sort of place would offer bear merchandise for sale? It's bound to attract my siblings. The polar bears are even debating venturing out on the grounds that some sweaters might be available for purchase!

Worse! Worse!

I just passed a bunny, looking over the book they're working with the bears to make into an ebook, and it's worse than I thought! The story is a Halloween one! That means that pumpkins are required! That means that they will expect me to help pull that awful wagon down to the store to collect the giant orange vegetables! Helping set up photos is bad enough, but being forced into packmule duty too, it is too much!

Ebooks

I knew that letting the human look at all of those little ebooks was a bad idea. First, it cuts into my computer time, to have her lurking on here and reading, and now the ebook notion has attracted the attention of my siblings. The bunnies reading is bad enough, since their book selections always seem to lead to some sort of trouble for me, but what they have come up with now is truly horrifying. They have taken a notion into their fluffy little heads to make a ebook out of one of the human's stories, and to start selling it right away. They've already issued my orders, to report bright and early in the morning to help them start sitting up photos for the book! They're going to force me to WORK! And what if they sell copies of this book? I'm sure no good will come out of any money they make from it!

My Plan

My plan is going very well, if I do say so myself. I casually pushed that brochure for the mouse's park under the noses of some of my bear siblings today, and remarked on the bear on the center page, wanting to know if he was a relation. They took a look and started exclaiming on how he was their cousin, who they hadn't seen in ages, and then they begin to go on about how wonderful it was that he had done so well for himself, finding a place with that mouse. Then some of the bears that the human has allowed to visit the park before started going on about how nice the place was, and how happy their cousin has to be, being able to live there. Oh, it will be no trouble at all, to convince them they should write him, to see about a visit! Maybe he will even send money, along with that mouse, for bus fare! And, if all of the teddies went, oh, my! I'm sure we would have the bus to ourselves, without any humans to cause a problem, besides the human to drive. My whiskers are quivering just thinking about it. And really, it isn't like the bears would all need full seats, so think of all of the lovely space I would have, to stretch out and play online the entire trip down!

Mall Report

The human dropped by the local mall today. Normally this would be an alarming bit of news, since they have a teddy adoption center there, but I think the visit might work out to my benefit. She picked up a brochure on the park my mouse siblings' cousin runs, you see, and they've been pouring over it ever since she brought it home. I am sure they are wanting to go, and in ever better news for me, it seems that their large mouse cousin has taken to hanging out with another BEAR too, besides the yellow one that always strolls around with that large honey pot, just daring Betsy to rob him. There was a picture of this new bear in the brochure, and he looks very much like several of my siblings! I'm sure he's a relation as well, so perhaps I can draft the bears into my plan, to get down to the park, and the cheese buffet I'm sure is present! Oh, I can just smell the cheese now, in every flavor and kind!

Another Shower Issue

Besides the fact that I was forced to work, I have other issues with that shower. The cupcakes were decorated with little teddy bears, and then there were alarming numbers of songs related to bears on the the CDs that were burned as party favors. If the human had been well enough to attend, she was even thinking about taking a few bears, to loiter decoratively as party atmosphere. I can only assume that the presence of all of these things related to bears is part of some plot, to brainwash people into liking the fluffy things, and wanting to give them homes! Can I be held as an accessory to this plot, since I was forced to assist with it? Believe me, it wasn't my idea!

Today's Sibling Report

Well, the mission let another one out. I know that place is supposed to help the homeless, but really, do they have to help them by arranging for them to move in here? The human dropped by there this afternoon, after a visit to the doctor, and of course a bear pounced, and begged to move in. I am now up to 669 siblings. My one comfort about this bear is that at least she knows to pet with the grain of my fur, not against it.

More Proof the Church is Evil

I have more proof the church is up to something horrible. The human dropped by a church today, to visit some sort of sale, and there were a couple of bears lounging around. Of course, when the spotted my human, they darted up, and started begging to go home with her, claiming they were homeless misfortunates. She bought it, of course, so now I am up to 647 siblings. Really, the church should be ashamed! And, of course, as soon as these bears arrived home, they joined the rest of my siblings in the great photo debate. That's just what I need, more siblings to argue over photos that I will then be expected to appear in.

Bears Should be Arrested

I want those bears arrested right away. Surely there is some sort of law against them causing such damage to my poor fur. As if it wasn't bad enough that there was a poor bear killed in the mountains, now another cub who was on Facebook has gone missing. Needless to say, the human is freaked, and I'm sure will break into sobs at any moment. Honestly, what are those bears thinking? The mother bear probably hid the cub, planning to trot her out later and get some sort of book deal. Either that, or the little thing thought Betsy might drop in, and took to the trees in an attempt to hide. I don't think the human is going to calm down though. Really, what did I do so wrong, to make the bears give me all of this grief? Don't I put up with all of my siblings and their antics with more tolerance than most cats? Those bears should behave themselves and spare my fur! I ought to turn the law loose on them!