Sue the Newspaper too!

I am going to sue the newspaper too, for endangering us all. That is the only thing to do. Despite the encouragement it offers to that giant tree, every time the do this, they insist on continuing to print obituaries, and just a few minutes ago, the human was pleased as anything to find an obituary for Cousin Betty Jean. It's going to add another page to that family book of hers for sure, and I can see the tree growing right in front of me. I wonder if I could recruit my woodpecker tenant to help me out, and to hop into the upper limbs to do a bit of pruning?

Upcoming Horrors

I do hope that everyone who lives up in the country by the lake the humans are fond of has had time to double their property insurance and hide their food. The human has heard of a festival up that way, that she is now dying to attend, and of course if she goes, Betsy Bear will be accompanying her. I understand there will be a lot of food at this event which can only lead to a disaster with that bear on the loose. She's already been poking around, getting out the big snitching sacks in anticipation of upcoming goodie grabbing. And to make matters worse, a church always has a large sale during this festival, with baked goods poked out right where Betsy is sure to see them. I can only hope that all of those poor people are saying their prayers now, for their doom will be arriving on Saturday, on little bear feet!

Chills

The weather has taken a turn to the chilly side around here, which has made the bunnies develop concerns about their plants. They're talking about hopping out to purchase materials to construct mini-greenhouses and tents for them, and I don't like the way that they keep checking out my cat bed, and saying how perfect the location that it's currently situated in would be for their strawberry pot! I just know they're going to try to move that thing indoors, and then I will be expected to help look after it!

Yesterday's Bunny Holiday

I'm afraid International Rabbit Day went very well for my bunny siblings. All of their fellow rabbits agreed that they are true masters of bunny craftmanship, which I'm sure is going to give those bunnies a ton of encouragement in their pursuit of gardening glory. Who is in charge of holidays like this, anyway? I ought to turn whoever it is over to our neighbors. Thanks to them cooking up that horrible rabbit celebration, the poor neighbors are sure to be homeless soon. The encouragement the bunnies got will undoubtedly lead to the doubling of the garden in size!

International Rabbit Day

I trust all of my readers survived today's horrible events, with bunnies everywhere celebrating International Rabbit Day. How in the world the bunnies managed to get a holiday devoted to them, I'll never know. Isn't it bad enough that they have that day in spring when the head rabbit comes hopping around lagging baskets of goodies and practically daring Betsy to try to snag him? I would have warned you about today yesterday, so you would have had time to lock yourselves safely away, but the bunnies were distracted by their rooting work, and didn't let me know until bright and early this morning that it was an official bunny holiday. You don't want to know the horrors I have seen today. Rabbits have been everywhere, partying and stuffing themselves silly with vegetables. And then they amused themselves with a marathon of televsion and movies, staring rabbits! I think I might be developing insomnia from the noise!

Rooting Update

The bunnies popped their strawberry vine in for rooting purposes today. They're sure that they will get several plants, possibly as many as six, out of the one vine, and goodness knows what could happen if they bring it in for the winter. It will probably take over the house by spring if that happens. I spotted one of the rabbits scouting out a place for the pot the strawberries are currently rooting in, right next to my cat bed. That doesn't seem to be a good sign at all, and there is much alarming talk about how they ought to try rooting a ton of other stuff too, while they're at it!

Rooting

The rabbits have obtained rooting material, and are making plans to plant the strawberry to start rooting first thing in the morning. I can only assume this is a sign of disaster to come. And what if these strawberries root and grow? I have heard that strawberries send out something dangerous called runners. The bunnies are planning to keep their plants in here all fall and winter, to let them get a good start. Who knows how much they could grow, especially if these runners get loose?

Mailman Must Pay

I think I'll send out Christmas cards this year, to every cat that I know, and possibly to every rabbit that my bunny siblings have invited over as well. That out to make a nice, fat load for that pesky mailman. You won't believe what he has done this time. He actually lagged a package, filled with strawberry plants for rooting, to our doorstep for the bunnies! Needless to say, they were thrilled, and now they're plotting to obtain special dirt for maximum rooting potential. Does anyone know how hazardous strawberries are to our neighbors' continuing homeownership?

Relative Meeting

The human met with that visiting relative again, and she came home alarmingly happy, with much talk about future meetings, to grow the tree being scheduled. Does anyone know the best way to control wild growth of plant life? The human is talking about visiting the mountains next, to show off graves and houses, and that will surely lead to disaster for those poor mountain bears, if Betsy accompanies them, as she always does. The human's already added a new limb just tonight!

In the Mail

The mailman foolishly lagged a big envelope stuffed with genealogy materials to the human's mailbox today. Really, it will serve him right with the stuff he keeps bringing her if he then has to deliver piles of her genealogy books. And I think I might make him deliver some flyers advertising my participation in that PetSmart contest, too. Really, with the encouragement he keeps giving my human, it's only fair that he's punished in some way.

Good News for a Change

I have good news for a change! The human has entered me in a contest at PetSmart. I urge all of my readers to go here right away and vote for me. The prize is a commercial appearance, and I would look so nice on television. Okay, so the rabbits are hopping around, saying that I can use the commercial to promote their tales of rabbit terror. I can deal with that. There's a thing called a green room, I hear tale, on television sets. That sounds like the kind of place for bunnies. They'll be so busy stuffing themselves silly with veggies that they'll forget about hopping onto the set. Vote for me right away, and vote often!

Genealogy Talks

Does anyone know how I can best hide magazines and block sites that provide information about genealogy and future talks on genealogy? The human has found out about another place, offering a series of talks on the horrible family tree, and now she's all fired up, wanting to go. And to make matters worse, they are holding this event near one of the branches of that nightmarish tree, which will surely give her more material for its continued growth. Isn't there a law someplace, against such a large piece of horticulture?

The Election Commission

Does anyone know how I can go about suing the local election commission? They allowed an obvious lunatic on the ballot, and to make matters worse, the loon won, and has now restored the library and even worse, the genealogy archives, to full operating hours! The shrunken hours were the only thing saving us all from that tree reaching monster heights! We are doomed, we are all doomed, thanks to this loony! The human is even looking into sending him a nice fat cake as a thank you gift, which is surely a sign that she plans to take full advantage of the additional hours of research time.

Hives

Tonight's blog will be a bit short. I suspect the human will be in wanting to sleep shortly. She is covered in hives, and was forced to take a medication that knocks her out. Betsy Bear is the chief suspect in this hive reaction.

Bakery Disaster

The human met with a cousin today, to discuss that tree. Normally, that would be the bad part, but then something happened to overshadow potential tree growth. The human went off with this cousin, and Betsy Bear was left to wait in the car, right outside of a bakery. I am now afraid to turn on the television, because I am sure that bear will be on the news, as the main suspect in the poor bakery's robbery and in the nervous breakdowns of the bakery employees! Really, doesn't the human know better than to do such a thing by now?

Squirrels

I am going to sue the squirrels for every nut that they have. One of those pests was playing around this morning, juggling nuts, I do believe, when a nut when a bit too high, and the next thing we knew, a transformer had blown. We didn't lose power here, thank goodness, but until the human found out what happened, there was much discussion amongst the teddies on whether the noise could call for an emergency evacuation of the house, and if so, the best way to lag me out. They have currently decided that the best way to do this is to stuff me into a cardboard box, and seal it with duct tape until I am safely locked in the car, and all teddies are loaded up as well. And they're talking about practicing this as well! Does anyone know where I can get a box cutter on short notice?

Dry Cleaning

Does anyone know the best place to get a fur suit dry cleaned? I'm sure my poor fur needs it. The human is still sad and depressed over her plans to sell those books falling apart like they did, and she spent the morning sobbing over it. Do you know the damage that tears can do to fur? I'm sure that the salt is sapping away all of the moisture from my fur, and making it dry and brittle.

Upcoming Sogginess

My poor fur. I'll have to have it dry-cleaned, I'm sure. The human just found out that over a thousand children are attending that reenactment tomorrow, which seems like it might bode well for the weekend crowd. She's sure all of her books would sell, and she would probably get orders for more, too, and now she can't go. She tears up every time she thinks about it, which is murder on the fur. I wonder if I should demand the bunnies hop out to purchase a rain coat for me? And even worse, if all of those books sold, think of the money that I could then figure ways to get my paws on! Now I'm getting depressed over this situation!

Human's Plans Failed

The human's plan to attend that reenactment to talk about the horrible family tree, and to sell her books has completely fallen apart, leaving me with a sobbing human, and danger of fur damage due to tears. And, to make matters worse, I actually saw her coil a couple of books, just to see how it would work, and apparently what the rabbits said coil insertion was is completely different than the actual job, because what the human did looked like fun, and something I'm sure that I could do so much better than her. Only now she's so upset, she isn't wanting to try to put together anymore books, not ones related to that awful tree and not ones for the church! Now what am I going to do? 200 coils, and unless the human produces books, I won't get to get my paws on a single one!

Saving Myself Phase Two

I stepped up my plans to save myself from being forced to coil all of those books today. While the human was snoozing, I found one of my groundhog siblings' party guests, who was still napping in the yard from their last gathering, and I bribed him wiht a can of peas to waddle out to the office store for a bit of sabotage. Needless to say, the human wasn't please to get a call, saying the hole punch was broken! She's trying another store now, so I suppose as soon as she goes to bed, I'll have to send that groundhog on another mission. I don't care how many monkeywrenches it takes, I am stopping book production! I just hope the monkeys don't need a wrench for something before I am through.

Book Update

The books are at the office store, awaiting hole punching. Apparently that takes more than one day to do 100 books. One one hand, this is good, since it will mean that my poor paws will be spared coil work for a few more days, but on the down side, it means that when the books are done, coil inserting will be rushed. I'll likely have a bunny standing over me, telling me to insert faster, and poking me with a carrot the entire time!

My Nightmare Continues

The humans collated all of the books today, with the assistance of the rabbits, and added covers and backs. 100 books are now in two boxes, awaiting a trip to the office store for hole punching, and then back home for me to wear my little paws out, on the coil insertion line. I tried to sabotage things by leaping into the middle of the collating line, but I was captured, and locked up until they were through. I have never suffered so much in my life, being locked up, being poked repeatedly with carrots, and the worst is yet to come with those coils!

Snifff, Sniff, Sniff

She did it. She really did it. Thanks to those rabbits, guarding the ink, and using carrots to make me keep my distance, the human was able to finish her printing. There is now a stack of papers, a foot and a half high, awaiting hole punching, and then coil insertion. My poor paws hurt just thinking about it!

Book Production Setbacks

I was able to drain a bit of ink from the second ink cartridge when the bunny who was guarding it hopped off for a second to arm herself with a carrot to use as a weapon. I didn't get nearly enough of it, though, because the human is almost half done with printing all of the pages she needs. And she purchased two more cartridges, that are supposed to be packed with extra ink to give her more pages. She expects if things continue t the present rate to have all pages printed tonight. And, to make matters worse, all of the rabbits have armed themselves with carrots and are hopping back and forth in front of the new ink to make sure I can't get it.

Saving Myself Phase One Complications

I've suffered a little setback on Phase One of preventing book production. The human went out and got not one but two, fresh cartridges of ink this afternoon. She's just started printing, and to make matters worse, I think the rabbits are suspicious of me. A bunny is standing guard over the ink at the moment. Any ideas for how I can distract her, to get rid of the second cartridge?

Disney

Disney has finally opened their new animal hotel. See the post about it here. And can I say how eager I am to try it out? Sure, it seems like it mainly caters to dogs, but with only thirty cat guests at a time, we felines will be an exclusive bunch, with only the best kitties getting in. Of course, I would have to take the trip in Betsy Bear's company, but we wouldn't be at the same hotel. The staff over at Kitty City would never have to know that I'm related to that bear, right?

Saving Myself Phase One

Phase one of my plan to save myself from being forced to spend Labor Day laboring to insert a bunch of coils into books has begun. The human got everything together, and was happily anticipating working on her books today, to have them ready to have holes punched for coil insertion tomorrow. Well, I tossed a monkeywrench into that! I sabotaged her ink! It conked out on her, before she could get past her first page of printing. Really, it was my most brilliant idea ever, if I do say so myself. Now if I can just figure out how to prevent the purchase of more ink, I will be golden. Oh, and if I can just prevent the monkeys from wandering by to ask where their wrench went, that would be good too.

Etiquette and the Bill

The bill for those flowers that I had the etiquette question about arrived today, which wasn't unexpected since the florist is only five or six blocks away. The problem is that the bill for this plant was almost forty dollars! My name was placed on it! Does this mean that I have to come up with cash towards this bill now? Is the florist going to come after me for my part?

Et Tu, Walmart?

Walmart has joined all of the other businesses around on my need to sue list. The human went there today, and they sold her eight packs of shiney paper to print out horrible genealogy materials for book purposes. She is planning to do an edit tomorrow, and arrange things a bit better before getting right to work on printing. And printing can only lead to binding, and coils needing to be inserted. Which can only lead to work for ME! Walmart should be ashamed!

House Guests?

Okay, I am now getting concerned. I heard the human talking just a bit ago, and she was saying something about how she was sure that I would just love having my dog cousins drop by for a few days to visit, so she can get a ride to that horrible battle to sell her books. Now, I have nothing against dogs, but these don't seem like the most disciplined canines in the world, and I would undoubtedly be expected to spend valuable napping time reforming them! Not to mention, what if the bunnies recruited them for gardening excavation duties? Mud and dirt everywhere, and I'm sure I would be held responsible. Does anyone know how to repel potential house guests?

Etiquette Question

I have an etiquette question that I hope someone can help me with. The humans had a death in the family this weekend, and naturally, they sent flowers to the funeral. I happened to be strolling by as the human was placing this order, and at the last moment, before I could do a thing, she told the florist to add my name to the gift card. The way I understand it, people who have their name on plant gift cards are supposed to contribute towards the purchase of said plant. So, does this mean that I am on the hook for this flower, even though it sure wasn't my idea? I suspect the human forged my name in the funeral guest book as well. Does that create more of an obligation for me? Now will I have to purchase a sympathy card or something?

Good News, Bad News

I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that the church books must be discussed at the next meeting before the human can get to work on them, which means that I have a month before I am expected to insert those coils. The bad news, though, is that means the human will have a month to get the other books she wants together, and to hopefully find a missing record book. She might have five or six books ready to go into production by the time the meeting rolls around, which means I could be inserting five or six hundred coils, instead of the 200 that I was fearing!

Dreading the Weekend

Does anyone know how to sabotage a phone? The human plans to call the minister tomorrow, to get permission to start copying the church records for binding, and while she's laboring over the church copier, she has plans to make copies of material for her own books too. Which, of course, means my weekend will be spoilt, by bunnies hopping around, wanting to help in book assembly, and who have plans to draft me for coil insertion duties. Does anyone here know how bad phone wires are for teeth? I'm sure dentists don't recommend it, but chewing their the phone wire might be my only option.

Add UPS to the List

I have so many people to sue now that it isn't funny. UPS got themselves added to my little list when they trotted to the door this afternoon, with a huge box with clear front covers, and in even worse news for my paws, the two hundred coils that will need to be inserted in the books. Needless to say, the human was thrilled, and was amusing herself, fussing over the material, and exclaiming how nice her books will look when put together. I have a horrible fear as to what I will be spending this weekend doing.

Suing the Post Office and Office Depot Too

I am going to be spending all of my time in court, is all that I can say, because Office Depot, the Post Office, and that pesky mailman who really ought to know better by now are being sued as soon as I can find a lawyer. You won't believe this, but Office Depot just sent the human a fat rebate card in the mail, a card that will be more than enough to cover the costs of getting holes punched in those nightmarish genealogy books, and in the books for church as well. My nap was rudely disturbed by her shouts of happiness upon opening the envelope and seeing the amount on her card. Office Depot should be ashamed, and I don't know what the post office was thinking! And now she's thinking of calling the church right away, to see about getting things set up to get those books made quickly. I am doomed!

Suing Fed-Ex

Does anyone know how to bring suit against Fed-Ex? While the human was out, they came creeping by in their little truck, and dropped off 200 backs for the books the human is planning to put together for herself and for the church. I tried to tell them that we weren't accepting the delivery of that package, but would you believe that they said as I wasn't the human it was mailed to, that I didn't have the right to tell them to take it back? The backs are sitting in the kitchen now, awaiting the arrival of the covers and coils to go with them, and then the assembly fun will start. Does anyone know how to make delivery truck repellent?

Call the Police!

Call the police right away! As if it wasn't bad enough, that the human attended four days at that genealogical horror session, learning to grow her horrible tree, she just checked her voice mail, and her request to speak at sign her book of Civil War letters at the battle held down at one of those horrible ancestors homes has been approved! This means that she will need books put together, which means someone is going to have to assist in this assembling! The bunnies are hopping around, all excited, with their assembly sign-up list, and I have a sneaking suspicion my name is on there as a coil inserter. What in the world am I going to do? As soon as the supplies arrive, she plans to get right to work, binding books!

Horror Report Day Four

Well, the horror convention is over, and I swear when I find a good attorney, I am bringing charges against the people who are to blame for this event. The human came back with horrible ideas about growing that tree, and about how to make things with growing the tree go faster. She's already started working on one of the books she's wanting to do, based on these ideas, and I'm sorry to announce that the human thinks it is going very well. I shudder to think of how much this is going to encourage her. Those people ought to be ashamed of themselves. If she learns a better way to make those books, I will be drafted onto the book assembly line for sure! My poor, poor paws!

Horror Report Day Three

Horror Report Day Two

The horror is even more alarming today. The human went to that horrible archive place on her lunch break, and to speak up relative hunting, she got the idea to just order every obituary in the clippings file on the names she is researching, instead of cranking through microfilm to find each one. The cranking slowed her down tremendously, but now that one comfort is gone. She came home, her arms full of obituaries that were copied at lightening speed, and are ready for poking on the tree! Run for your lives while you still can!

Horror Report Day One

The human spent the day at the horror convention, I am very sad to report, and came home happy with lots of ideas. For some insane reason, they actually let her attend a talk all about publishing, and needless to say, numerous bad ideas have been put into her head for assembling those horrible books of family tree materials. Those people should be ashamed of themselves, they really should be. My service was horrible yesterday due to the human's absence. I did not get a single nibble of cheese! And I seeing as they're allowing her back for a second day, I am anticipating more cheese denial. About the only good thing that I can see in any of this is the fact that the human took Betsy Bear with her when she left, but still, a day without that awful bear does not make up for such horror exposure, and such awful cheese denial.

Opening Day of Horror

Speaking of horror, tomorrow is the opening day of horror, when the genealogy conference starts. The human already has plans to head over, first thing in the morning, to learn all about growing that awful tree. She's even thinking of eating breakfast over there, to give her more time to play with that tree, and the horrible genealogist friends that she hopes to make. And what about my breakfast, might I ask?

Horror Report

The human did it. She actually did it. She placed an order for the materials needed to start putting together those horrible books related to her family tree. And she ordered material for the church as well. As of now, she has enough stuff to assemble 200 books! The bunnies are already hard at work, putting together a signup list for the book assembly line. And they keep looking at me, at the item coil insertion, and snickering. Why do I have a feeling the rabbits plan to put me down to thread 200 coils into books? My poor paws. I can feel the blisters already!

My Worst Nightmare

My worst nightmare has came to pass. Someone has offered to buy a couple of the human's genealogy books, which is a bad sign, I am sure, of future encouragement to come. Needless to say, the human was very pleased to get this news, and is eagerly anticipating hearing news about a talk she wants to give on that horrible family tree soon. I will be sure to warn my loyal readers should she get permission to do this, so you will know what areas to avoid. Decent sorts don't need to be exposed to such horror. And now that she has an offer for a couple of books, she's going to want to go ahead full speed with assembling things, I am sure. The rabbits have offered to assist her with this, and I do not like the way the bunnies were looking at me when they made this offer. I suspect they have plans to plop me on the horror assembly line!

Florida Bear

Has anyone heard about that poor bear in Florida with a jar that got stuck on his head? They claim it happened when he was digging through some garbage, but I just know that Betsy is to blame somehow. The human has mentioned wanting to go to Florida again. That poor cub probably heard the news, thought Betsy was on her way, and got the notion if he hid his head, that she wouldn't be able to find him. He's just a cub after all, and goodness knows that infants aren't that clever. It took fish and wildlife ten days to free him. Do you suppose his mother can press charges against Betsy for frightening and endangering her cub?

Siblings

I think I need to bring a suit against our local mission, for the trouble they have caused me, these last few days. Really, I know they're supposed to help the homeless, but this is ridiculous. The human loves visiting them, and the last couple of days, every time she has stepped foot in there, she has had various animals flinging themselves on her, begging to move in. I am now up to 655 siblings, thanks to that mission, and I am very suspicious of the rabbit that the human allowed to hop in today. She claims she's much too thin, and while I have to agree that she is a smaller bunny, I don't think I want to know what she's planning, in order to stuff herself. I'm sure it's a threat to the neighbors. Couldn't the mission have stuffed her properly first, before letting her out?

Disaster in the Making

A disaster is fast approaching, is all that I can say. The human just emailed the place where one of her ancestors lived, and where they have a Civil War battle each year, to see about setting up to sign the book of letters she assembled from one of her relations that was in the war, and who fought nearby. She has also offered to talk about the family. What if they agree to this? The human is sure she could do a good talk, with her research to guide her, which would lure lots of people in, and bring in lots of money for the society! I think I'll be screening her email for a few days, to delete any acceptances she might get. Such horrible encouragement can only result in more growth to that nightmarish family tree!

Grocery Store

I don't know why the grocery store hates me. I've never crept in and amused myself raiding their fish and milk supplies. I have done nothing to offend them. They must have something against me, though, because they just announced a contest for my kind, with a summer theme. The prize is a hundred dollar gift card for their establishment. The rabbits saw this, and immediately thought of all of the seed that would purchase. They are now hopping about, gathering various props and discussing how best to pose me so they will win. Is there a law against dressing cats in Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses? The grocery store should be ashamed!

Cat Bed

The humans purchased a new bed for me today. It's rather nice, and matches my fur, so I suppose I should be pleased, but frankly, I am suspicious, and it is all due to those rabbits. As soon as the humans brought the bed in, they hopped over, and started going on about how portable it is, and how perfect it would be for travel. And I'm sure that any trips the bunnies have planned for me will involve them as well, and probably either seed hunting, or selling their tales of rabbit terror. Perhaps I ought to avoid this bed like the plague?

Squash Report

I have horrifying news. The squash is flowering! The bunnies hopped out to check it out, and then came in, squealing about the arrival of the first blossoms. Oh, this doesn't bode well at all! Those blossoms are sure to become squash, and can only lead to the rabbits getting a huge harvest. And I just know they're plotting to find some work for me related to this gardening, and harvesting.

More Yard Sale Issues

Oh, I forgot to share the other disastrous news that resulted from the human attending that yard sale yesterday. I church was taking part, and for some reason, a bunny was loitering around their booth. Naturally, when my human came trotting up to check out the merchandise, the rabbit threw herself on the human, declared she was a poor, homeless creature and begged to be adopted right away. And the human fell for it, of course. The rabbit is here right now, lounging in the living room, making plans for a long soak in the tub, and then a bit of gardening. I am up to 648 siblings. And this one will probably want to get her picture taken too!

Giant Yard Sale Disaster

The human limped off to that horrible, giant yard sale today, and naturally a couple of rabbits, one of the polar bear cubs and Betsy went along with her. She wasn't able to go to very many sales, but the ones she did choose to hit ought to be illegal. She trotted by the lady who has the nerve to offer various seed for sale every year. I think you can safely guess what happened there, with rabbits on the loose. And then there were the poor senior citizens, the American Legion and those Veterans of Foreign Wars. I don't know why those people never learn. They were selling food again this year for some insane reason, or they were before Betsy dropped by. I just hope they are insured, especially the seniors. They were being very foolish this year, and offered a large supply of cotton fabric for sale as well. I think you can guess what happened with that. The cub came trotting back with his paws full! And then, to make matters worse, the bunnies picked up a little something for me! A cat harness, so they can drag me everywhere by a leash!

Church Update

The human got more material from the church, for assembling into book formats. I think I might need to go into hiding, because she believes she will have enough for four or five books, by the time she is done, and possibly a few short booklets too. And, to make matters worse, the human who let her in to gather this material thinks that doing books is a wonderful idea. My poor, poor paws! I just know the human is plotting to put me on the book assembly line. And if she gets assembly rolling, she will probably try to slip in some genealogy stuff too!

Sorry to Announce

I am very sorry to announce the continuing health of the squash in the bunnies' garden. I'm afraid we've had a good bit of rain recently, and it has provided horrible encouragement for the plant. It's rather fat at the moment, and bright green, just lounging out there, waiting for the rabbits to start lagging out gallons of milk to feed it, and encourage more growth. I've seen suspicious movement from the watermelons as well, and I just know those things are plotting their path to our poor neighbors' homes even as we speak.

Apologies to the Country

I would like to offer my apologies to the country for what you suffered on Monday, but really, you must admit that you brought some of it on yourselves, living there, and not investing in bear and rabbit protection. The human went up to the country cottage on Monday, and of course Betsy trotted along with her, and a couple of my bunny sisters hopped along as well. I don't want to know what the bunnies did, but they came home looking much plumper than they were when they left, and there was much talk of butternut, tomatoes, and how badly our relation, poor Farmer Turley, really needed his fields of crops. As for Betsy, the less I say about her, the better. I just know she got her paws on our neighbor's poorly guarded plane, and is plotting something with it. And to make the disaster complete, there is now talk about going back for a few days, and my accompanying the humans on this trip! I will be taken as an accomplice for sure!

Horrors, Horrors, Horrors!

The human went out this afternoon and did a little pricing, to figure out how to get the best deal on those horrible books she's wanting to make for the church. Then she came home, and did a price comparison on Amazon. Much to my horror, she found a way to cut the cost per book almost in half. With such a good deal, I'm sure that the church will go for letting her produce these horrible manuscripts. And they will make such a large profit that I just know they will offer her aid with going to that horrible genealogy convention. Really, shouldn't such things be illegal? How can I report this church to the law? If the human does what she is planning, I am sure I will be drafted into assembling a nightmarish number of books, for rush orders!

More Proof the Church is Evil

I have more proof the church is up to something horrible. The human dropped by a church today, to visit some sort of sale, and there were a couple of bears lounging around. Of course, when the spotted my human, they darted up, and started begging to go home with her, claiming they were homeless misfortunates. She bought it, of course, so now I am up to 647 siblings. Really, the church should be ashamed! And, of course, as soon as these bears arrived home, they joined the rest of my siblings in the great photo debate. That's just what I need, more siblings to argue over photos that I will then be expected to appear in.

The Phone

Does anyone have any advice on how to sabotage a phone, hopefully quick advice before the human can place a call to the minister tomorrow, to get permission to start producing books, and copying other stuff for book purposes. I will probably be put on the assembly line if she gets this going, and heaven help me if she needs things mailed. The taste of envelope glue will never get off of my tongue. I tried cutting the lines, but the scissors I found didn't work too well, and the polar bears refuse to loan me their good scissors. Any other ideas as to what else I can do? I'm planning to hide the cel phone while she's sleeping tonight.

Church Update

I want the church prosecuted for this right away! I want the minister arrested! I want the choir drug off in handcuffs! And I won't say what I want done to that office store who helped the human with her horrible work. She trotted down there this afternoon, with a big book full of the church records from 1945 on, and got them reduced in size, to a format suitable for binding and selling. Needless to say, the human was very pleased when she came home, and was chattering about going to the church soon, to do more records. And they showed her how to do the evil things on her own, too, which can only lead to disaster. If she isn't dependent on the copy girl, who knows how fast she will be able to crank stuff out? And what if the church is impressed? One of those horrible books on encouraging family trees had an evil article on the importance of church records for tree growth. She thinking of showing it to the minister! What if they do decide to help her with conference expenses? Who knows what that could lead to?

Church Problems

I wonder if I can sue the church? The human is determined to get something done this week, on making copies of the church records to sell for genealogical purposes. She has big plans, if she can get the copies she needs made, and I'm sure that this won't bode well. She's thinking if she gets things together like she wants, that the church might help with her fees for that genealogy conference they are foolishly having here. I am very much afraid she could be right, and heaven help us all if she is. Who knows what tree growth that could lead to! Can the church be charged with encouragement of a monsterous family tree?

Current Talk

I heard the human talking about paying a visit to the country today. I wonder if the country has had time to obtain insurance, yet? Because my delinquent siblings also heard her, and they started chattering about how many nice photo opportunities there might be, up in the country. If they get it into their heads to trot up there to take pictures of themselves, they will surely expect ME to go as well! I have visited the country before, and frankly, I have no desire to go again, after the havoc Betsy caused up there last time. Those people carelessly leave their boats, golf carts and if he's finished it, planes, totally unguarded for Betsy to make off with, and I refuse to become an accessory to her crimes!

Betsy's Relative

I just heard of a bear who tried to make off with some human's car. You can find the article here. I can only assume that this bear was some relative of Betsy's, and was plotting to take these poor humans' vehicle as a getaway car for some crime. I do hope they are insured for such things. Of course, it could be worse, though. It could have been Betsy herself who got her paws on their car. If she had snatched it, goodness only knows where it would have ended up, and how many crimes it would have became a part of. At least this bear was a novice driver.

Good Cat

I am a good cat, a model of decent feline behavior, I feel. I don't harass mice, I'm good and kind to my human, well, as long as my food bowl is full, anyway, I put up with the antics of my siblings. So, would someone want to tell me why I am now being punished with these photo antics? They are planning to order the new memory cards for their photo session tomorrow, and they have their little eyes on a two pack! That will be over 4000 photos if they use both cards! And I will be expected to be in every shot! Does anyone know the best place to hide from a camera? True, I do have 643 siblings at last count, but still, that does not, in any way, shape or form call for that many pictures!

Photo Issues Continue

My siblings are still plotting that group photo, and now they are wanting online to visit wikipedia, to look up the best settings. That's why I couldn't post yesterday. Really, they're totally out of hand. I don't know what I'm going to do. The rabbits are insistent that they must have their photos in the garden, and the penguins are just as insistent about using the pool. And now the penguins are trying to recruit the stingray and the otter to their cause! The one thing they all agree on, though, is that I should share these photos. What am I going to do if the penguins win? The chlorine in the pool will ruin my nice fur!

Photo Madness

I swear, when I get my paws on the person who suggested my siblings could win something, for being the largest group of fluffies, they are going to pay. They have all jumped enthusiastically on the idea, and are now debating the proper sitting for a group photo. The rabbits are arguing for the garden, so their horrible plants can be used as props, while the penguins are wanting the swimming pool as a backdrop. And the polar bears, of course, are insisting that quilts be out in full force, and are saying they aren't coming out for a shoot until their warmth can be assured. They are even planning to order a new photo card for the human's camera, just to hold all of their photos! And there is much talk about my appearing in each photo, to show my support! I will be out there all day, and my nap schedule will be totally ruint! the human who put this into their little heads ought to be ashamed!

Records

I can't believe this. Some human gave my human the idea that she should submit pictures of all of my siblings, to try to win something, for having the most bears and other assorted fluffies. You don't want to know how pleased that delinquent batch was with this idea, and now they're all trotting around, demanding my assistance with their laundry to make sure their clothes look their best, and arguing over fur brushes. And what if they try to get me to appear in this photo? I refuse to appear in something so frightening!

Native American Issues

I really wonder what our neighbors did to offend the Native Americans. Their ancestors must have ripped them off big time, is the only thing I can figure, because both types of seed that those people provided to the rabbits are sprouting. Needless to say, the bunnies were thrilled, and are thinking of asking for more seed. If the Natives send it, I will know for sure there is some horrible plot going on. Well, my ancestors were respectable cats, who had nothing to do with any property issues, so I demand to be left out of this!

Horrible Quilts

Those polar bears have really done it this time. I caught one of the cubs, lounging on the human's pillow and whispering into her ear as she was snoozing, on how she could win a prize in the quilt show the next time it comes around. And of course, this will require more fabric purchases. They already have a website picked out, where these fabrics can be obtained, too. And they're trying to tell her a mini-quilt would work best, so there will be loads of fabric left over for them. Does anyone know how I can block such a dangerous website?

Quilt Issues

That quilt show, that foolishly picked this town for their convention was apparently stricken with amnesia, because they returned this year. Needless to say, the polar bears were thrilled, and sent one of the cubs off with the human when she visited today to collect materials for constructing blankets. There were several bags in view when that cub came back, and then tiny little boxes, holding enough fabric in each one for a full sized polar bear quilt. They're planning to beg the human to take them back tomorrow, to try to get more goodies. And then they will need batting for these quilts. I do hope all sheep in the area have good insurance policies that cover them for wool loss.

Today's Sprout Report

I'm very sorry to announce that the tomatoes are starting to sprout. The bunnies have tons sprouts from the homestead, beefsteak, cherry and rutgers tomatoes plus the first sprout from that horrible fellow named Willie who lives in a boxcar, and devotes himself to encouraging bunnies. The cantaloupe is up, too, and the rabbits are sure that they will find even more sprouts when they hop out tomorrow. Probably with my luck, their zebra tomatoes will sprout next. Those things are sure to cause trouble.

Going Away Present

I wander if I should get a going away present for our neighbors, for they will surely be leaving soon, if they know what is good for them. We had more rain today, and with each drop, it seemed another plant sprouted. Needless to say, the bunnies are thrilled. The bushel gourd, spaghetti squash, butternut squash, blanch & vert, honeydew melon, watermelon, poinsett cucumbers, national pickling cucumbers and okra are all rearing their leafy heads. Some tomatoes are sprouting too, but they didn't get names off their little markers to report in on those yet.

Wool Danger

The human went to meet a friend this weekend, which would normally be good news, since she took Betsy Bear with her. Unfortunately, the friend was at a convention, and another human was also there, who had wool in her possession, and then admitted to knowing the location of a flock of wooly sheep. Needless to say, the polar bears were pleased to get this news, and they are busily plotting how to get their paws on this wool right now. I hope those poor sheep have insurance.

Our Late Neighbors

The rain worked. The Kharboza melon, the Russian pumpkin, and the local pumpkins are sprouting, which is a horrible sign. The other seeds are sure to sprout at any time, I am sure. Our poor neighbors. I will be very sad to see them go, but I don't see there is any choice. The rain also helped the bunnies' watermelons, which can reach a hundred feet in length. Unless our neighbors want to be overtaken by giant vegetables in the middle of the night, they should flee now.

The Rain

The bunnies held a practice dance in the backyard last night, and sure enough, rain came pouring down this morning. And, of course, this rain seems to have done a world of good for their garden, according to the rabbits. They put on little raincoats, and hopped out to check, then rushed back in, to announce there were sprouts. I don't want to think of what they might find tomorrow.

Impending Rain

The rabbits are not happy, due to the current lack of rain. They had been distracted with planting, you see, and forgot to do their rain dancing as much as they normally do. Now, they're worried the lack of rain is keeping seeds from sprouting. I don't see this as a problem, but the bunnies most certainly do. They have invited every rabbit in the area to come over this weekend for a giant rain dance to correct the issue. I would suggest all humans start work on your arks now. Given those rabbits' track record, I am very afraid you will need them.

Update on Seeds

Our neighbors spent yesterday foolishly shooting off fireworks, instead of packing their bags to flee. They will pay for that decision now, is all that I can say, and I hope they know they have no one to blame but themselves. The bunnies poked out more watermelon today, this time a funny gray kind from Charleston, and then a jumbo pack of okra. They didn't get it exactly where they wanted it, but they're sure that it can be moved, once they have sprouts. And once it is moved, the neighbors might as well say goodbye to their homes.

Further Sprouting

The bunnies were right. The kettle gourd and the dipper gourd poked their leafy heads up today. That means that everything from their first round of planting is beginning to sprout. Isn't there a law against such alarming gardening success? And what about their second round of planting? The bunnies are hopping about in eager anticipation of those things popping up. They think it could even happen as early as tomorrow. I wonder if I have time to hide?

Alert the Zoo! And Blame the Native Americans!

The bunnies planted more. They just hopped in to announce that they put out banana squash big enough to feed gorillas, banana melon for medium sized monkeys, Cinderella pumpkin, moon and stars watermelon, patissons panache blanc et vert, spaghetti squash, sucrine du berry, bushel gourd, Cherokee black tomatoes, black zebra tomatoes, tomatoes from someone named Willie who makes his home in a boxcar, and great white tomatoes, which are probably popular with certain species of whale. The zoo should go on high alert right away, as I'm sure escapes to sample the produce are being planned. Someone needs to have a talk with the Native Americans too. I'm sure their contributions to the rabbits' garden are part of some plot to punish us all for the loss of their land hundreds of years ago.

Afternoon Planting

As if their current crop of sprouts wasn't bad enough, the bunnies poked out twelve more things this afternoon. They planted Green Zebra tomatoes, brandywine tomatoes, Mr. Stripey tomatoes, Cherokee purple tomatoes, giant paws full of sweet peppers, Hamilton market peppers, paprika peppers, cantaloupe, two different types of cucumbers, Hungarian hot wax peppers, and butternut squash. I wonder if I should offer to help our neighbors pack, so they can flee before it is too late?

Sprouting Updates

The bunnies are hopping around celebrating so much that I can hardly hear myself think. The sprouting is coming along alarmingly well. The birdhouse, luffa, penguin and gooseberry gourd are up, along with the white squash, mandarian cucumber, more of the Ukraine cucumber and those pumpkins from that evil uncle named Herman. It has only been six days since those things were planted, which makes this sprouting even more alarming. They suspect that the dipper gourd and kettle gourd will be up soon, too, as if we need more sprouts. The Department of Rabbitculture who supplied them with some of the seeds will be so pleased.

More Seed Purchases

I'm very sorry to announce that the bunnies obtained packs of cantaloupe, cucumber and Hungarian hot wax peppers today. They plan to hop out in the morning to plant the horrible things. Oh, and the farmer's market is open too, right near the horrible genealogy archives. Of course, the rabbits were thrilled to hear this, and are encouraging the human to visit right away. I can only hope her leg will prevent her from trotting up there tomorrow.

Maybe They're Serial Killers?

Maybe our neighbors are serial killers. If they are, then wouldn't it be a good thing for the rabbits to get rid of them? I can only hope that they have taken to murder, for the bunnies have surely sealed the doom of their house today. They hopped out and planted ten more things. They put out another pack of cucumbers, bushkin pumpkins, some sort of Russian pumpkin, a Spanish pumpkin, some melon called Kharboza, gooseneck gourd, whale gourd, apple gourd, and two different types of local pumpkin.

Sprouts

I am very upset to announce that the first seeds that the bunnies planted have started to sprout. They hopped out today, to put out more things, and came rushing in to announce that alarming amounts of squash are popping up, and they believe a few cucumbers too. Oh, and the first Ukraine cucumber is up as well. The Department of Agriculture, a.k.a The Department of Rabbitculture, who supplied them with those seeds will be so happy to get the good news, I'm sure.

Remember Our Neighbors

Remember our neighbors, for those poor people are doomed. I wonder if I ought to call, and let them know now, so they can flee while there is still time? The bunnies have been hopping about with their little packs of seed, and while they still don't have their beds dug as much as they want, they do have a space cleared that they think will work well for starting plants, then by the time they're big enough, they are sure they will have the rest dug up so they can move things. They poked out eighteen different things today. They planted cantaloupe, honeydew melon, frighteningly large numbers of watermelon seed, eggplant, egg gourd, yellow squash, hubbard squash, gray zucchini, California pepper, jalapeno pepper, sweet banana pepper, grand bell pepper, rutgers tomato, homestead tomato, super marmande tomato, cherry tomato, beefsteak tomato and red pear tomato. I do hope the neighbors' insurance covers them for acts of gardening.

Rabbit Report

The bunnies' rain dance worked, I'm very sorry to report. The rabbits have high hope that the rain they danced up will cool things off a bit, so they can hop out in the morning and do some digging. They have a literal ton of tomatoes to plant, so they're very eager to dig. Do you think I need to issue some sort of alert when they hop out, to give the neighbors warning so they can flee for their lives?

More Seeds to Report

I was too horrified to do this last night, but I thought I would let you know today of the continuing seed horrors. The bunnies hopped out yesterday, when it cooled off a bit, and planted two packs of cucumber, a pack of zucchini, a pack of butternut squash and a pack of watermelon. They wanted to plant more, but the ground isn't broken up as much as they like in most places. They're looking into renting a plow now, and I don't like how they keep looking at me when they are discussing who will pull it. Why don't they make the pelicans pull it, when they arrive?

Prayer Needed

Please join me in offering up prayers, for the poor neighbors, who are soon to be homeless. Really, they weren't bad neighbors. They just forgot to check for pairs of long, floppy ears before moving in, is all. I am very sorry to say that they are all doomed. The rabbits put on hats today, and hopped out to do some planting. Of course, they put out the most dangerous plants first. They have planted luffa gourd, birdhouse gourd, dipper gourd, penguin gourd, kettle gourd, gooseberry gourd, white bush squash, pumpkins from some evil uncle named Herman, mandarin cucumber and some sort of Ukraine cucumber. As soon as it cools down a bit, they plan to hop out and plant more!

News Article

There was an article in the paper today on that poor bear who was killed up in the mountains a month or so ago. The human isn't as upset now, at least, but I'm afraid that this article has given Betsy a horrible idea. She's now got it in her fluffy head that she should file suit against the park, in the name of the bear's survivors. And, as their legal representative, she figures she will get a hefty sum for assisting them with this. Our poor court system. It will never survive a visit from Betsy Bear. I do hope that no one in this state was hoping for any form of legal redress in the immediate future, because that sure isn't going to happen.

Pelican Update

The bunnies just got a response from their first pelican, accepting their kind offer of room and board in exchange for garden help. I just know that's bad sign. This pelican has signed up for a single bird nest, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't show up with a batch of eggs in that big mouth too. And if it's happy here, then more pelicans will surely follow, each needing a bath, a bath that I will be expected to assist in!

Feather Cleaning

This pelican issue keeps getting worse. Not only have the bunnies invited more pelicans than I want to think about up to live in exchange for garden help, but now the rabbits are looking up the best way to clean feathers. I don't like the way that they're looking over at me while reading up on this feather cleaning either. I'm sure those rabbits are plotting to draft me into helping get those birds cleaned up. What in the world am I supposed to do if they try? My paws will be ruined from scrubbing birds!

Pelicans

The area around the swimming pool looks like a Easter Basket exploded, with all of the nests the penguins have set out for the birds they expect soon, in response to the bunnies' fliers offering room, board and a feather cleaning in exchange for light gardening duties. Light. Ha! I've seen the size of the veggies they grow, and the gardening duties couldn't be considered light by any means. I don't know what I'm going to do if the pelicans take the bunnies up on their offer. Do you know, they eat fish? My rabbit siblings are going through the cupboards right now in search of fish to offer the birds, and some of that fish happens to belong to me! Am I required to offer it to guests, if I didn't invite them to drop by?

Reunion Update

In my horror over the bunnies plotting to invite all of those pelicans up to assist them in gardening, I forgot to update you on the reunion, or maybe I was just trying to convince myself it was all a nightmare. A relative has offered to assist the human financially with getting her genealogy stuff published. Of course, that could indicate professional publication, which would save my paws from having to work the copier, but still the thought of all of that horror being unleashed on an unsuspecting public is almost too much to take!

Latest Rabbit Issues

I need some sort of control for the television. The bunnies got their paws on the remote, and were poking around, looking for a gardening special, when they came upon a program on all of those big mouthed birds who have managed to get their feathers oily. The bunnies were very impressed with the size of the mouths on those things, and the next thing I knew, they were speculating about how much produce the pelicans could carry, and about how they would surely be cheaper that purchasing baskets and bags to haul their veggies. The bunnies are hard at work now on fliers to be distributed to those birds, offering them accommodations here, and a free oil removal in exchange for assistance with gardening duties. The penguins are in the back by the pool, putting up nests for them, too! Have you ever heard of such? And what if all of those pesky pelicans come up? Can you imagine how much produce they could carry for the rabbits?

The Mailman has No One to Blame

The mailman has no one to blame for his upcoming doom than himself. I want this known right now. When he ends up scratched into a million pieces, he has only himself to blame for his fate. This morning he foolishly delivered a package containing blackberry, raspberry and blueberry seeds to the bunnies. Needless to say, they're very happy, and are plotting the best place to plant their bramble patch right now. Really, what was the mailman thinking? He delivered eight packs of seed, each with at least twenty-five seed inside. that is two hundred seed. What will become of him if all of those sprout? Like I said, he will end up scratched to pieces, and when he does, he should know it is all his own fault.

Five Inches

I have just seen the most alarming five inches in history. The human has a notebook, five inches thick at least, packed full of obituaries for that horrible gathering of relatives. Have you ever heard of such? I don't want to think of how many relatives are in there, and she claims she doesn't have even half of them yet, and is just getting started.

More Genealogy

The human returned a bit ago with three more coil bound books of genealogy. And even worse, she came back with eight packs of page protectors, enough to hold four hundred sheets of info. I don't even want to think of what might happen if she uses all of those. She already has five notebooks stuffed full of stuff, and now six coil bound books. Really, This genealogy is too alarming, and even worse, she's planning to mass produce some of it for selling purposes! I know she's going to try putting me on copier duty or something when she goes into production mode.

Found the Cables

The human found the cables, worst luck. I knew I should have hid those things better. I did manage to sabotage her ink, though, which delayed her printing a bit. She didn't let it stop her, though, and went trotting off to the office supply store to get her printing done there. She has three books full of genealogy material awaiting binding now, and I just know that she's going to amuse herself putting together more. She's even thinking of making multiple copies of one of the books for selling purposes. We are all doomed. The tree is going to grow out of control for sure. I woulld suggest running for your lives now.

No Idea

If the human comes around asking, my loyal readers should let her know I have no clue where the cables for her printer might be, and she certainly shouldn't search my bed for them. She is working hard, trying to put together all of her other genealogy stuff so she can show it off at the reunion, but in order to do so, she needs to print. And the cables are mysteriously missing. She's looking all over for them, and muttering about how if they don't turn up, she won't be able to do her planned genealogy. Now, wouldn't that be such a shame?

Evil Growing

Will evil never cease? The human mentioned the bound genealogy information to a cousin, and now the cousin wants a copy. I'm very much afraid she's going to make a copy up for her, and then that can only lead to other cousins wanting copies as well. Who knows how far the evil might spread soon. I wonder if I ought to find a way to sabotage this little enterprise of hers?

She Did It!

The human has been threatening to put all of her genealogy materials together for awhle now, for publication purposes, but today she actually did it. Office Depot should be ashamed, encouraging the human like this. She came trotting home tonight with three coil bound books, that don't even have half of the genealogy that she has amused herself gathering. And I am trying not to think of the two notebooks the horrible office store helped her fill either. I urge a boycott of this business right away.

More Tree Issues

The human is hard at work, organizing that tree, and needless to say, she is grumpy, because the relatives are refusing to co-operate. I'm afraid she's finally done, though, at least for the evening. and she seemed happy with the final results, which doesn't seem like it will bode well for me. Does anyone have any ideas of how to best tame such a horrible piece of horiculture? I'm sure it's going to drop nuts on someone, and I hate to think of how many bears Betsy will be able to trap in the upper limbs.

More Proof of Insantity

I have more proof that escapees from the local mental institution are in charge of the fair this year. They are actually having a bear beauty contest at this thing, and to make it even crazier, they are having this at the same time that they are having a honey and bee competition. Betsy's making plans to enter herself in this bear event now, to help in her plans to raid the honey event. I can just imagine what will happen now. There will not be a single drop of honey left, and all of the bees will be captured and carted off to serve Betsy. And goodness knows what will happen to the poor bears who might be Betsy's competition in the bear beauty contest. I ought to call the funny farm right now, and demand that they round up their escapees now, before it is too late!

The Fair

Disaster struck today. The catalogue, advertising what events they are going to have at the fair for produce arrived today. Needless to say, my rabbit siblings have been pouring over it, and planning out what they want to enter. I just know they're going to try to go for the giant vegetable event this year, and I don't want to imagine what they will try to do, to encourage plant growth that will allow them a victory. I don't even want to think about the bunny beauty contest this fair has planned, as well. Obviously they let the mental patients out to run this event. Why didn't they just call it a bunny encouragement event? Isn't there some law about truth in advertising?

Reunion Punishment

Those humans will soon regret planning a family reunion, at least the cousin who intends to get married at the upcoming gathering. I've spotted Betsy Bear getting her extra large snitching sack out, and polishing up her cake spoon in anticipation of this event. A wedding is an indication that cake might be in the offing, and of course, Betsy plans to get her paws on this dessert right away. I do hope that the bride and groom didn't pick a nice cake, because goodness knows, there won't be a crumb left when Betsy gets through with it. I wonder if wedding insurance covers acts of bears?

Betsy has Done it Now

Betsy has really done it this time. As if all of that missing honey wasn't bad enough, someone just posted on Facebook, reporting that a large quantity of marbles has gone missing. And, of course, I've been having to deal with the click-clicking of that bear, playing with a big batch of marbles for the last few hours. Does anyone know the penalty for marble theft? I have half a mind to turn her in, if for no other reason than so I won't have to hear those marbles anymore.

Human on Ice

The human's leg is flaring, and she is now sitting on ice, which is a bad sign to say the least. When she's sitting on ice, she isn't supervising that horrible Betsy Bear, who is plotting how to trap innocent bears in the upper branches of the family tree, and even worse, sitting on ice, and needing to freeze that leg gives the human time to work on her computer, poking away at the tree, and adding more limbs! I don't want to think of how many might end up added tonight.

More Obituaries

I would like to make it known now how much I hate cousin Wendell and his brother Glenn. I'm not to fond of Cousin Mary Evelyn either, and don't get me started on Cousin Cherry who managed to get not one but three obituaries in different newspapers. What does he need with three obituaries? And you don't want to know how pleased the human was when she saw all three of them. Does anyone know who at the police department I should complain to about these terrible relatives? And the human is still poking, trying to find more obituaries, too!

Upcoming Reunion Season

Well, horror season has started. The human has family reunions scheduled for the next two weekends. Really, why hasn't someone made those horrible events illegal yet? It only serves to encourage her genealogy research and the growth of that dangerous tree of hers. I ought to call the law, I really should. Does anyone have suggestions for where I can hide until these horrible events are over? And to make matters worse, a cousin is due to get married during one reunion. Another limb will be stuck on that tree right there.

Speed Dial

I am putting the fire department on speed dial right away. I hope no one in town plans to have any fires in the immediate future, because the fire department will surely be to busy, rescuing bears from the human's monster tree to put them out. Betsy has arranged for fliers to be distributed, wherever she suspects the poor, undomesticated bears live, advertising the tree as perfect for climbing, and a must see for any bear. Then, when they get here, and get stuck in the upper limbs, somewhere around Cousin Roy, she can go and rob their dens at her leasure.

Betsy Getting into the Act

Now Betsy is getting into the act of encouraging that horrible tree of the human's. She's heard that those poor, undomesticated bears that she loves robbing are very fond of climbing trees, so she thinks if she can offer them a particularly nice, large tree, then she can lure them in for the purpose of robbery. Those poor bears. We will probably have to put the fire department on speed dial to rescue them from the human's monster tree.

Bringing Suit

I must contact a lawyer tomorrow to see how to file a suit right away against all of these relatives, who couldn't bother to hide their obituaries. The human has found any number of them, and in worse news, one of them, the one for Cousin Quinn, identified the family business he worked at. The human plans to try to see if it's online tomorrow, because she's sure it will lead her to other relatives. Cousin Quinn should be ashamed, and I intend to hold his estate accountable for endangering us all by encouraging the growth of that family tree!

The Tree

The human found a free trial for that obituary site, and is now happily hunting down relatives. Does anyone know how I can file suit against this horrible place? It's surely giving her nightmarish ideas, and that tree is going to end up growing to new heights. She's already found more dead relatives than I want to think of, and with the married names it is producing, it will surely lead to who knows how many more relations!

Sunday Update

The human is feeling better today, and although most would think that's a good sign, the fact that she's talking rather alarmingly about doing some writing in a bit surely isn't. I don't like the fact that she keeps thinking up new ideas for horrible novels either. The latest, involving a honey festival, is especially worrisome. I'm sure that will give Betsy bad ideas. Can you imagine what might happen if that bear attended a honey festival?

Human Returned

The human is back from that graduation, and in horrible news for me, she's managed to return with a case of food poisoning. Really, I ought to lock the doors to keep that human from getting out of the house. She gets into trouble any time she leaves. The bathroom is now on my rooms to avoid list, and so is the human's bedroom until her stomach settles. Really, why couldn't Betsy get this? It would be so much safer for all concerned if she was ill and unable to cause trouble for awhile.

Graduation Report

That cousin who had the nerve to graduate should be arrested, is all that I can say. The human managed to get into an extensive genealogical discussion while attending this reunion, and now she is hot on the trail of a coveted family Bible. I'm sure no good can come of her finding that book. Oh, and in even worse news, the rabbits got their hands on two large bags of beans as well. I expect to have to go into hiding, as soon as the bunnies come hopping back, or I might be forced into assisting them with planting these seeds.

Human Plans

The human is attending another graduation this weekend, and I am very concerned. There are alarming numbers of libraries along the path leading to this event, and I just know the human will use this as an excuse to poke more at that terrible tree of hers. Really, what are her relatives thinking? Can't a few of them fail, and spare us all from that monster plant?

Cub Is Home

That cub has been found and returned home. I expect the law to show up tomorrow, asking questions, seeing as the bunnies had their name on that twine they are missing. At least now that the cub is at home, though, things can return to normal around here. Of course, one bad thing about normal, I'm very afraid it will include the human submitting the bunny books to an agent sometime in the next few days. I guess I can sacrifice our neighbors though. Them loosing their home is better than my home becoming hostage central.

The Cub

Thank goodness, that pesky little cub has been spotted, and not tied up in the pool house either. Either Betsy's cousins weren't able to snag her, or more likely, they did, and she escaped. Needless to say, the human is thrilled and I must admit I am too. My fur is safe from sobs, and the house is safe from Betsy's cousins making it kidnapping headquarters!

Updates

The human is still worried about that cub, and is thinking of avoiding Facebook for awhile so she doesn't see anything else upsetting. Of course, the problem is, that if she does this, I'm sure that will leave her alarming amounts of time to work on that awful tree of hers. I ought to take that cub to court for causing all of this trouble. And, to make matters worse, I've seen Betsy with the glue, scissors and the newspaper, cutting out words and pasting them onto another sheet, and there are alarming words such as money, with the m crossed out, and replaced with an h to make the word honey, and other words like leave, under, and tree. I don't like that or else phrase she cut out from an editorial either.

Cub Update

Well, that pesky little bear cub is still missing, and although I'm sure her mother just has her stashed somewhere as part of a plot to get a book deal. or more honey or berries as payment for letting those humans follow her around, I have to admit I'm starting to get some concerns too. I saw Betsy online a bit ago, checking out the bear's fan page, taking notes of the number of humans who like her, and chucking as she punched numbers into a calculator. She placed a call to her cousins, the ones in the bear mafia, a short time later, and I'm suspicious of how they were laughing, and talking about something being as easy as taking honey from a cub. The bunnies are missing a net, and they were complaining a bit ago about how their twine for tying up peas and beans is gone as well. I fear Betsy is planning on taking advantage of what this cub's mother is up to, and is plotting with her cousins to snatch the cub for ransom. I can't be blamed if I check in the morning and find the little thing stashed in the pool house, can I?

Bears Should be Arrested

I want those bears arrested right away. Surely there is some sort of law against them causing such damage to my poor fur. As if it wasn't bad enough that there was a poor bear killed in the mountains, now another cub who was on Facebook has gone missing. Needless to say, the human is freaked, and I'm sure will break into sobs at any moment. Honestly, what are those bears thinking? The mother bear probably hid the cub, planning to trot her out later and get some sort of book deal. Either that, or the little thing thought Betsy might drop in, and took to the trees in an attempt to hide. I don't think the human is going to calm down though. Really, what did I do so wrong, to make the bears give me all of this grief? Don't I put up with all of my siblings and their antics with more tolerance than most cats? Those bears should behave themselves and spare my fur! I ought to turn the law loose on them!

Today's Update

The human is still very sad about that poor little bear that was killed in the mountains yesterday. I think I might need fur protection until she stops crying. And, to make things even worse, in an attempt to cheer herself, the human went and poked around some more on another limb of that terrible family tree. Really, I ought to report the relative she investigated today for endangering us all with giant plant life. He's probably already guilty of who knows how many other crimes. I don't care if he's dead. Causing that tree to grow should get him drug in!

Mountain Bear Issue

The human was very upset today due to this poor mountain bear, little more than a cub really, who nipped a tourist, and was then captured and killed by the park service, despite a big effort on Facebook to save the poor thing. I do feel sorry for the bear, who was probably just trying to flee in anticipation of Betsy dropping in, but the human was threatening to boycott the park, which might have cut into her genealogy efforts big time. I'm afraid she's came up with a worse plan, though. She is going to fictionalize this, and put it in one of her bear mysteries. Just wonderful. I hope that park is insured. They were worried about the annoying human who got nipped suing, I'm sure. Well, they should have worried more about this. The other bears weren't happy to begin with about what happened to this poor bear, and were in negotiations with the woodpecker for suitable payback. Now the human will probably need to go there for research, and they will be able to give my tenant a ride to peck apart park headquarters instead of him having to take the trouble to fly. And then there's Betsy. She was ticked too, thinking that this might make the other bears nervous and more difficult for her to hunt them down for robbery purposes. Now she can torment the poor park for that, and for research purposes. They are doomed. I'll bet in a few weeks, they will be wishing the pesky tourist who claimed he was nipped had fallen over the waterfall the trail led to, before this all happened.

Reunion Work Continues

The human went to work trying to get goodies for that horrible reunion today. I ought to be happy, since it might keep her from working on that tree, but I have an awful feeling she can multi=task. And I don't like the way the rabbits are hopping about, offering to assist her in assembling goodie bags once she gets stuff for the reunion either. The bunnies keep looking over at me when they're offering assistance, and then chuckling in a very suspicious manner. . I think they've marked me down for the goodie bag assembly line!

More Reunion Issues

The human is looking into more stuff, related to that evil family tree to bring to the horrible reunion, so needless to say, I'm working hard on finding a hiding place. She trotted by the office store today, getting prices on getting books made of the genealogy stuff she's gathered. I shudder to think of how big those books might end up being, and even worse, she is looking into making up little booklets to pass out at the reunion, with info on the main groups everyone descends from. Now this wouldn't bother me too much since how much info could a little booklet hold, but the rabbits have been taking a look, and they say they're sure they can save the human the five cent stapling cost. They're looking at me when they're saying this too, and I just know those bunnies are planning to put me to work with the stapler! They're probably thinking they can use the money saved to purchase seed!

Going into Hiding

I have to go into hiding right away. That's my only choice. I don't know how I'll fit my litter box into my hiding place, but I'll have to squeeze it in somehow. The human is making a list of places to contact, looking for goodies for that horrible reunion, and the penguins have been waddling around, suggesting places where their penguin relations live, and asking for free or discounted tickets. They claim they just want to help the human out, but I know better. They want an excuse to get together with their penguin relatives, and plan pool parties! The house will be packed with penguins if the human goes though with her plans!

Humans Have Returned

The humans are back, and unfortunately, Betsy returned with them. She smells suspiciously of honey, syrup and waffles. I'm sure she robbed the hotel the humans camped out at last night. My only comfort is that the human says it wasn't too crowded, so maybe not many people managed to loose their free breakfasts. I hate to think of those poor mountain bears, though. The human encountered another cousin at the cemetery, and got to talking genealogy. The bear had hours to run wild! Oh, and while she was out, the human developed some new, horrifying ideas for the family reunion, too. She's going to start work on that tomorrow. I just know that will lead to nothing good.

Graduation Horrors

The lunatics are out in full force. I wonder if I should look for a full moon or something? They are having a flower festival right by where the human is attending that graduation. Obviously nuts are in charge of this, is all that I can say. Don't those people know that flower festivals attract rabbits? I think I'm going to scout out a hiding place while the humans are gone. Who knows what the bunnies will come hopping back with.

To The Mountain Bears

If any mountain bears are reading this, and with all of those hotels up there with wifi, I don't know why would wouldn't be, I thought you should know that your doom is fast approaching. The human's been making alarming mentions of getting the flower bin from the attic, in anticipation of cemetery visits, and you know Betsy will be trotting along for this. As you should well know, the human is very distractable in cemeteries so I wouldn't count on Betsy being supervised at all. Perhaps you could check into a hotel for the weekend to hide? She might not think of looking for you there, and there are coupons on practically every corner for rooms. Oh, and cubs stay free, if that helps some of you make up your mind to flee to the safety of a nice hotel.

Agents

Our poor neighbors. I'm not sure how in the world I should break this to them. The human has found an agent that she thinks is perfect for her, and now she's making plans to send in a submission to try to get this agent person to take her on with the tales of rabbit and teddy terror. The bunnies are practically bouncing off the walls with excitement, and if I mentioned what Betsy is doing, it would surely lead to jail time. Does anyone have suggestions for discouraging this agent quickly before the human can send in a submission? Oh, and she represents someone with a beekeeper mystery series too. I can see a total disaster there if she takes on books with Betsy.

Hiding Again

Sorry I didn't post last night, but I'm hiding again. The human was poking around, and she found a few additional names for that horrible, horrible tree, which of course led to even more names as she poked around, digging through stuff to find obituaries. Honestly, a tree of that size should be illegal, and if I had my way, it would be. I heard her muttering a bit ago about how she bets she can find a few more obituaries soon, so I suppose I ought to go back into hiding. Who knows where this will end?!

Mother's Day Apologies

I would like to apologize to all of the poor innocent mothers out there, who's offspring tried to gift them with some sort of desert, only to find the box empty when they went to eat it. I told you that Betsy was in a snit yesterday, since the human gave away cake to someone besides her, so to make herself feel better, she crept around to every house she could find, and collected all of the Mother's Day deserts in sight. There are a ton of empty cake pans, boxes, lids and other assorted desert holding devices all over the back yard now. If you were missing something, please stop by tomorrow to remove the remains.

Betsy's Sulking

Betsy Bear is sulking, and needless to say, I'm trying to avoid her. That bear in a snit isn't safe at all. The human went out, to deliver some things to various houses for Mother's Day tomorrow, and needless to say, she returned smelling strongly of frosting. Betsy has her suspicious that cake was part of these deliveries, and her reaction to someone besides her getting cake isn't in the least bit funny. I wonder if I ought to hide under the bed now? She's sure to plan some crime soon, to make herself feel better, and I'd hate to be seen as an accomplice.

Cat Psychologist Needed

I need a cat psychologist right away, and no, this isn't for me. The human went out today, to poke at that horrible tree, and when she came back, she was all excited and eager to share with me how she met a cat at the archives. Apparently this feline lives there, and is hard at work researching their family tree, because the kitty races into the records room every time the door is left open. Have you ever heard of something so insane? Obviously, the cat needs serious mental help is the only thing that I can imagine.

Tail Shaking

The rabbits shook their tails too much, trying to get rain to encourage their gardening horrors, and managed to get the next writing convention they wanted to attend flooded out. Finally, all of that rain dancing has proved useful! Needless to say, the bunnies are ticked at this turn of events, and the human isn't took happy either, since she planned to double up, and research that awful tree of hers between talks at this convention. They're looking for another event to attend now. How much notice do you suppose the neighbors will need should they find something, and can I be blamed for not hiding the human's writing magazines, listing such frightening events?

I'm Home and Unfortunately so are my Siblings

Well, I'm home from jail, but unfortunately, so are all of my siblings, just full of ideas for promoting and selling those horror stories. And, in even worse news, at least for me, they have their paws full of brochures, and are looking suspiciously at me, and then at the brochures, and chattering with each other about how much fun it would be to lag me along to their next event. They're probably planning to make me accompany them to help pass out materials! What in the world am I going to do? They're looking for feline friendly hotels, and making suspicious comments about how they bet they could figure a way to pass me off as a teddy cat if necessary!

Updates from Hiding

I've been hiding for the past few days, so that I can't in any way, shape or form to blame for the antics of my siblings as they try to push their books. I very reluctantly checked my email a bit ago, and the frightening info awaiting me was so horrifying, I hesitate to share it. The rabbits are planning to attend another horrible book thing as soon as they possibly can, and they're talking about attaching seed packets to the business cards this time. I'm sure that will be a nightmare, and but the bunnies are sure that the humans will think it's a wonderful idea. She's kind of gullible, so I'm sure she'll go for it, too. As for Betsy, I try not to think of what she's done. Things to promote the books are bad enough, but I'm sure that bear has committed any number of crimes as well. There probably isn't any honey or porridge for miles around, thanks to that bear, and I'm sure she's mugged every other bear she can find for their honey too. Then there is the genealogy. That is so alarming I won't even try sharing. It would just keep you awake at night from fear.

Rabbit Update

I was a bit afraid to post yesterday, or check email, in case those horrible bunnies had sent me a message about the novel promotion horrors. I finally decided to risk it, though, and of course an email was awaiting me, detailing all of the hard work the bunnies have done, trying to promote their horrible work. One of the rabbits hopped about, taking notes of what goodies people were giving out, to try to figure out the best goodies to offer for their books. They have decided that seeds would be the best, either seeds, or possibly actual plants. And, of course, should they give these things away, that will mean that they will either have to obtain seeds for gifts, or they will have to grow more plants. Our poor, poor neighbors if they decide to grow plants. They will naturally toss extras in to keep for themselves, I am sure. The neighbors are doomed!

Archives

The rabbits emailed me a bit ago, to let me know they're ready to start terrorizing people with promotions for those rabbit books tomorrow. There's even a farmer's market just a short ride away, to provide the bunnies with more encouragement. Honestly, I have never been so glad to be in jail in my life. Who knows what will happen once the rabbits get going? They say they have already approached one author, and they are sure to chat up more first thing in the morning! What if they get someone before they've had their morning coffee, and the person agrees to buy the books?

My Alibi So Far

The alibi seems to be working out well so far. At least I can't be blamed for the antics of the rabbits, who are plotting to hop all over some writing thing, helping the human hand out cards advertising those nightmarish stories of hers. The bunnies have even speculated on the possibility of giving away seeds, just to get more attention. I don't want to think of the trouble that sound cause if they do it. My one worry about this alibi, though, is the fact that the humans ordered a clawacure for me while I'm here. Really, I like my claws just the way they are, thank you very much. Does anyone know how I can cancel this procedure? Perhaps I can poke in the computer, and delete a few entries.

An Alibi

I am happy to announce that I am getting a shiny alibi for the upcoming antics of Betsy and the bunnies. They're planning who knows what horrors to try to sell their books, so I'm off to jail! Thank goodness, I will now have a nice alibi for their crimes, and can't be held accountable for what I'm sure they're going to do. I can't wait. Do you think I should demand the warden sign a check sheet each day, so I'll have proof I was there, and innocent?

Bear Stories

The human just finished her synopsis sheet for the teddy mystery series, and all I can say is how alarmed I am at the number of times my name appears on this sheet. The teddies claim that they're just wanting to reward me for being such a good sibling, by getting me a book part, but I know better. They want me as an accessory to their book crimes! If I appear in a book with Betsy, I'm sure the law will hold me responsible for that terrible bear as her accomplice! The human should be ashamed.

Mountain Bears' Doom

I wonder if I should start a countdown to the upcoming doom of those poor bears who live up in the mountains? Betsy Bear just checked the calender, and realized that the human is due to trot up there in a few weeks to visit the cemeteries for Decoration. And naturally, when you let my human loose in a cemetery, with all of those graves and relatives, she can't be trusted to keep that delinquent bear in line. I've found pages on Mapquest, marking the best routes to those poor mountain bears' dens, so that Betsy can rob them of all their food. She's even plotting hunting down a few extra cemeteries for the human, just to keep her distracted, and give her more time to rob those poor bears. I do hope they have their dens insured.

Contest

The human went out today, and when she came back, she had a flyer with her from the store, advertising a contest for my kind, with a hundred dollar prize. This is the same store that sells seed at discount prices and encourages bunny delinquency. Naturally, the rabbits fell all over, trying to check the flyer out, and now they're looking suspiciously at me, commenting on what they could do to beautify me, and how many seed 100 dollars would buy. I did the math! It would buy 400 packs at current seed prices. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can avoid this contest? If I take part, I'll surely end up as an accessory to gardening!

Business Cards

The human got business cards to advertise her books today. I wonder if I ought to arrange to get some business cards too, in response, saying that I am not to blame for the actions of my siblings? She got the cards in a lovely green color, that is sure to remind the rabbits of vegetables, and will only encourage them. I'm trying not to think of how Betsy will be encouraged.

Rabbit Encouragement Continues

The human is continuing in her horrible encouragement of those bunnies. She ought to be ashamed! Now she's working on getting synopses done of all of her ideas for the rabbit series, in preparation for shopping them around. What in the world am I going to do? The bunnies are sure to get even more encouraged when they see everything put together like that!

Human's Feeling Better

The human's feeling better, and in a bit of bad news for me, she made this recovery just in time to chat with a new cousin. I have never been so alarmed in my life. And she's hoping to find other cousins through him, too, which is such a horrible sign that I don't even want to think of it. I really should find a way to block Facebook. I'm sure that it is going to lead to giant amounts of trouble over that awful tree.

Update Issues

I might get a bit behind on updates for awhile. I'm very sorry about that, but the human is ill with some sort of stomach ailment, and my online time is limited at the moment.

The Country

The human went to the country today, and took that delinquent Betsy with her, along with a bunny. I don't even want to imagine what trouble they might have managed to get into, because goodness knows, the human can't be trusted to supervise them. The poor country. I do hope they have lots of insurance up there. Their only hope is that some relation of poor Farmer Turley is running for sheriff. I just hope he is doing in on a strong bear and rabbit control platform.

Blocking Facebook

The human has done it this time. She has tracked down a batch of new cousins via Facebook! This can only encourage the growth of that horrible, horrible family tree, which is sure to be a disaster. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can block Facebook before the human uses it to track down more alarming numbers of relations? I'm sure finding them will lead to reunions, and selling of various family books, which will likely end up with me being put to work licking and stamping envelopes. Do you know how bad the glue on envelopes tastes?

Package

The rabbits got a package in the mail today, and you won't believe the horror it held! Someone sent them a batch of grape starts for planting out in the garden. Does anyone have any ideas about the potential invasive qualities of the grape? Since it was delivered to the bunnies, I can only imagine these plants are bad news. The rabbits never request any plants that aren't troublemakers. Right now they're camped out around the box, debating where to plant.

Remember Our Neighbors

Please remember our neighbors, for they are doomed. The human is now on chapter two of the bear story, and needless to say, Betsy has been encouraged in alarming ways, and is planning frightening amounts of crimes for what she claims is research. Then the human started a new rabbit story and is already halfway through the first chapter. You don't want to know how the bunnies took that happy news. Our poor, poor neighbors. I just hope they are insured for writing.

Rabbit Encouragement

The poor, poor neighbors. I don't know how in the world I am ever going to break this to them, but the human is making plans for submitting one of those stories of rabbit horror. What in the world will become of our neighbors should she find someone to buy and publish it? It will surely encourage my bunny siblings to greater heights of rabbit delinquency, and gardening horrors. I think I might need to steal the ink from her printer before it is too late.

The Human Did It

The human made the Facebook group, like I was afraid she was going to do. Now she's just got to send the announcement to all of her cousins, and then have them post to other cousins. I hate to think of how far this horrible thing could go, and it's sure to add more alarming branches to that tree of hers. Facebook should be ashamed! Isn't it bad enough that they encourage rabbit gardening? Now they're helping with that awful tree!

Maps

I think this is a bad, bad sign. I caught Betsy Bear looking at the human's maps today and taking notes. I just know she is plotting out a route to travel once she gets her paws on that bear sized car. She's even been poking around at Walmarts online to see if she can have it shipped to get it faster. I would suggest if you had plans to drive anywhere, you do it soon, because soon the highways are going to be a disaster area. I can just see it now, with that bear zooming around, fleeing crimes, loaded down with loot. And the polar bears aren't helping. They're making plans to ask her to drive them about to get wool for quilts. I do hope everyone is okay with becoming pedestrians. That's the only way you will be safe soon.

Blaming Cousin Margie

I blame Cousin Margie, who had the audacity to die three years ago for my current troubles. The human found her obituary just yesterday, and of course it was nice a detailed, adding alarming amounts of limbs onto that horrible family tree of hers. Really, couldn't that cousin have taken better care of her health, or if she had to schedule her demise, couldn't she have found a way to hide her obituary first? Now the human has information on her siblings, and is determined to hunt them down too, and add a few more limbs. There is even talk of setting up a family page on Facebook, so she can guide new cousins, and make plans for horrible family activities. I don't want to think of how all of this is going to cut into my computer time. She ought to be ashamed!

Highway Hazard

I would like to issue a warning to all of the drivers out there of an upcoming highway disaster. Betsy Bear has found out that Walmarts is selling a bear sized vehicle. and now she is making plans for the purchase of a get-away car. I think you can imagine the dangers that she will pose, zipping down the highway, fleeing the scenes of her crimes. If you drive. I urge to to look into becoming a pedestrian now before it is too late. Betsy might soon be on a road near you!

New Rabbit

The new rabbit came hopping in today, which is probably a record for a rabbit's arrival. Obviously the head bunny put her on a deluxe flight or something. Just my luck. And you won't believe how fond this rabbit is of gardening, too. Her name is even Blossom, which doesn't seem like a good sign at all. She's been chattering with the other bunnies about pumpkin blossoms, and squash blossoms, and horror of horror, cucumber blossoms. I think I might need to trot down to the neighbors' house, to tell them goodbye soon, for they are surely doomed.

Vote Sheep

The human's little farm is having some sort of campaign to chose a new animal, and I would like to urge all of my readers to go here and vote for the sheep by fanning them right away. I know it might sound crazy with the polar bears and their wool obsession, but if they have sheep to tend on the computer, maybe it will prevent them from harassing flocks of sheep around here. Not to mention, if they're distracted with a farm full of sheep, it might keep them from getting bad ideas from the fourth volume of the human's books. So vote for the sheep today!

More Horrors

I think I need to start looking for a nice hiding place. The human got a book from that horrid person who came up with the month of writing horrors, designed to encourage nightmarish amounts of writing. She just thought up a twist, too, for the bear book that she's working on, that I'm sure will get that plot flying. I don't want to think of what the encouragement will do to Betsy. Isn't it bad enough how she gets encouraged by her appearances in the childrens' books?

Surrounded by Horror

I'm surrounded by horror is all that i can say. The human is amusing herself multi-tasking, working on those awful novels of hers, and poking at the family tree at the same time. She thinks she's got something worked out, that will no doubt make that tree grow to a frightening size. She should be ashamed. And then there's the encouragement she's giving not only the bunnies but Betsy Bear too. I'm sure there's a law somewhere about encouraging Betsy Bear, or if there isn't, there should be. The human's hoping to get a chapter done tonight, and I'm sure it will just inspire that bear to rob someone to celebrate.

Head Rabbit

The head rabbit arrived, and even though he lost a nightmarish number of baskets and candy to Betsy, he still seemed fairly happy. My bunny siblings showed him all of their gardening plans and seed collections, and they were given alarming amounts of praise for their bunny industry. To make matters even worse, the head bunny said they were doing so well that he left another bunny to assist them, and he's made arrangements for a second bunny to arrive soon to offer further help. Our neighbors are doomed.

Tomorrow's Dangers

The head rabbit will be hopping around in just a few hours, and you don't want to know how excited my bunny siblings are about his arrival. They're all running around, making preparations, and getting vegetables together to greet him, and getting seed packets out so that he can see how industrious they plan to be in the upcoming gardening season. What if the Easter Bunny is very impressed, and rewards them with a large basket full of seeds for all of this? Maybe I ought to offer up a prayer that those rabbit snares that Betsy Bear laid out, to try to get her paws on his baskets, work?

Writing Plot

The human hasn't managed more writing so far today, thank goodness. I don't like the way that she keeps looking at me, though, and then looking at her soda like she is trying to figure out why the caffeine didn't keep her from sleeping in all day. She has no proof I sabotaged those drinks, none what so ever! I just hope I can get the tops off of the rest when she goes back to sleep again, and she doesn't get wise and switch to cans.

She Did It

The human did it. She started another tale of teddy terror this morning. I was hoping it was all an April Fool's joke, but it's looking like it isn't. I suggest everyone run for their lives now. I just know this story is going to encourage Betsy to go on a crime spree. Really, doesn't the human know better by now?

Upcoming Horrors

April is going to be a month of nightmarish proportions, Is all that I can say. I would suggest for your own safety, that you lock yourselves in your basements now, and wait for the month to be over. The human is planning to get back to writing starting tomorrow, and not only is she planning to write more of her tales of rabbit terror, but she's wanting to do some writing on her bear stories. That will only encourage Betsy! I can't even begin to imagine what that bear will do if she feels she is being encouraged. Isn't her bad behavior rotten enough when we're trying to discourage her? I wonder if the basement is secure enough for the disaster that is about to hit? Our only hope is that the human is playing an early April Fool's joke.

Hiding Place

If you were going to hide from a flock of delinquent bunnies, where would you hide? The rabbits are talking about the need to plant their peas, and possibly lettuce soon, and I just know they've got me marked down to assist them in this. I don't like the way those rabbits are looking at me, and waving shovels and seed bags in my direction at all. I've been scouting out hiding places to avoid them, but I'm not sure what is best. Under the bed has worked well for me for years, but then again, the rabbits could squeeze under there pretty easy, and use their little net to drag me out. Then I thought about on top of the wardrobe, but I might be easy to spot there. There's hiding in a box of quilt material too, but I'm not sure the polar bears can be trusted not to give me away. Does anyone have any suggestions? If I get stuck planting peas, I'm sure that I will be made to assist in putting in a lettuce bed next!