The Phone

Does anyone have any advice on how to sabotage a phone, hopefully quick advice before the human can place a call to the minister tomorrow, to get permission to start producing books, and copying other stuff for book purposes. I will probably be put on the assembly line if she gets this going, and heaven help me if she needs things mailed. The taste of envelope glue will never get off of my tongue. I tried cutting the lines, but the scissors I found didn't work too well, and the polar bears refuse to loan me their good scissors. Any other ideas as to what else I can do? I'm planning to hide the cel phone while she's sleeping tonight.

Church Update

I want the church prosecuted for this right away! I want the minister arrested! I want the choir drug off in handcuffs! And I won't say what I want done to that office store who helped the human with her horrible work. She trotted down there this afternoon, with a big book full of the church records from 1945 on, and got them reduced in size, to a format suitable for binding and selling. Needless to say, the human was very pleased when she came home, and was chattering about going to the church soon, to do more records. And they showed her how to do the evil things on her own, too, which can only lead to disaster. If she isn't dependent on the copy girl, who knows how fast she will be able to crank stuff out? And what if the church is impressed? One of those horrible books on encouraging family trees had an evil article on the importance of church records for tree growth. She thinking of showing it to the minister! What if they do decide to help her with conference expenses? Who knows what that could lead to?